Ev
When I awoke, I was worried about Donnie. I didn’t want to say anything to my captor for fear of him having any ammo to use against me. I loved my son and he must be thinking that I just up and left. Our relationship was so rocky and I am sure that this wasn’t helping. I should have paid more attention to my surroundings. Maybe then I wouldn’t have been taken. Oh my God, I am such an idiot. I should have known better. I should have known better, I kept saying in my head. I hear the footsteps above me. I have got to get out of here. I can’t have everyone thinking I just ran off because I was pissed off. I stood up and looked around the room. I was a little dizzy. I sat back down on the bed and waited a few minutes and then stood up again. I took a step and climbed on the bed to look out the barred window. I pulled on the bars. There was no way I could get out. I leaned my head on the brick wall and held on to the bars, as if they would magically disappear and I could squeeze my ass through the window and run blissfully down the street in my underwear. “God Dammit,” I said under my breath.
“You can’t get out that way,” he said from behind me.
I didn’t move. “I know. I wasn’t trying. I was just trying to gauge what time of day it was,” I lied.
He walked closer. “I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t lie to me.”
“I’m not fucking lying,” I told him angrily. I was trying to breathe deeply and keep calm. My hands were shaking and I felt like someone had pumped me full of the strongest coffee ever made.
He crossed the distance between us and I felt a sharp pain grace my cheek. “Don’t cuss me,” he said between clinched teeth. “I will not tolerate disrespect from you.”
My anger couldn’t remain coiled. “Disrespect?” I screamed. “You kidnap me. You chain me in abasement and YOU tell ME not to disrespect you? You can go straight to hell, you fucking asshole.”
He turned and walked back upstairs without saying a word. I sat cross-legged on the bed. I heard doors slamming above me and then he was coming back down the stairs to the basement. He stood in front of me. “Turn over on your stomach and take your punishment,” he ordered. I looked athim with a blank stare, not quite understanding what I was hearing. I hadn’t been punished since I was sixteen years old. I wanted to laugh in his face but didn’t think it would be a very intelligent thing to do at the moment.
“No,” I told him in a whisper. A cold, hard ball of fear was forming in my stomach.
“Lay on your stomach, Ev. If you don’t; the punishment will be much worse,” he told me. His face was cold and impassive. I had obviously pissed him off, but I was still going to defy him. I hadn’t answered to anyone in years and I didn’t want to answer to him. “Ev, lay on your stomach, now.” His voice was calm but there was such menace in the words, I thought my bowels would empty right there.
He moved toward me. I scooted back on the bed. He was holding something that looked like a horse’s tail but at the end of the “hair” were little barbs that looked like fish hooks. I realized with horror it was a whip, what I had heard called “cat o’nine tails.” He kept progressing toward me and Istarted kicking at him to get him away from me. My foot landed on the side of his head and he looked at me with such anger, that if looks could have killed I would have been dead. He pulled the whip back and brought it down across my thighs. I cried out in pain, I flew off the bed with such force, I lost my balance, but he kept coming at me with the whip. He brought it down again and caught my ankle and I felt the skin split.
“Stop!” I screamed and crawled under the bed. My chains rattling with me as I hid. “Why are you doing this? You’re crazy!” I heard him breathing deeply from exertion. I thought he was done. “Just leave me alone!”
He started to pace in front of the bed. I could see his feet. I was laying in fetal position trying to become as small as possible. I kept hoping that any minute I would wake up and this would all be a bad dream. Tears were streaming down my face; snot was running from my nose, I was terrified. For the first time in my life I was scared that I might die and never be able to set things right with the people I loved.
“I’ve been patient, Ev,” he said. “I really have. I have wanted to come down here the last three days and fuck the shit out of you. I’ve been good, trying not to terrify you, but I will not allow you to disrespect me. It will not be tolerated. You will fear me and respect me. There are no other options. You will take your punishment. You will be punished, Ev.”
“I’m sorry,” I said meekly. I didn’t mean it and he knew it.
“It’s too late for sorry, you little bitch.” The bed flew across the room and he was on me. A shark who smelled blood. It was so surreal. He was hard. I could see it through his pants. He grabbed my legs and flipped me over on my stomach. He reached up and tightened the chains so I couldn’t move any further in the room. The cuffs at the end of the chains on my wrist drew up tight and I was stuck. I was trapped in this horrible nightmare and couldn’t move to escape the brunt of the whip.
He brought the whip down on my back; I felt my skin break apart. Blood splashed against the wall. I screamed and he brought the whip down again and again. I screamed until I was hoarse. He stopped after forty lashes. I could feel blood pooling under me and my bladder released. I felt his hands rubbing my buttocks, I wanted to protest, but all that came out was a croak. I felt something sliding down my face, I didn’t know if it was blood or tears. I felt my underwear rip and felt his fingers go into me. “Stop,” I whispered, but he didn’t hear me and wouldn’t have stopped if he had. He went in and out with his fingers. In and out. In and out. Then something bigger slid into me and I felt his weight on my back. I tried to scream, but again nothing. In and out he went over and over again. The blood on my back making him slide on me. He slid in and out of me with ease, the blood was lubricating me. I wanted to puke. Bile built in my throat. My back protested in pain, my insides felt ripped apart every time he entered me. He was not gentle. He was a mad bull charging into me at every thrust.
“You’re mine, you bitch. Don’t you forget it. I can whip you; fuck you in any hole I want. You are mine and don’t ever, ever forget it,” he told me. He pushed into me harder and harder. He grabbed my hair and pulled my head back and said into my ear. “I could slit your throat if I wanted to and no one would hear you die but me. How does that sound you little cunt? Do you feel like drowning in your blood today?” I tried to shake my head no. He went into me faster and faster. He sighed loudly and got up off me. He gave me one more lash across my ass for good measure. “I am not going to kill you today. There are still more holes in you that need to be fucked.” He turned and marched up the stairs and left. The door locked behind him. I laid in the floor in my piss and blood. I couldn’t move; it hurt to even breathe. The bile in my throat would not be contained. I threw up. It ran down my chin into the floor. I tried to scream but my throat was too hoarse, my body to exhausted. I let my tears mix into the mess on the floor, eventually I passed out in my piss, vomit and blood and was welcomed by the cold arms of a black emptiness that over took me.