Donnie
My mother drives me nuts. I love her but I totally can’t stand her either. She wants me to go with her tonight and meet these friends of hers. Her friends are so weird and uncool. Why does she think I will even like these people? It’s an old woman and her son, who is also old, who has down syndrome. I am so do not wanting to go. My grandparents are making me go though. They say I don’t spend enough time with my mother but have they looked at their daughter? She is a spaz. All she does is talk books, work, movies and run. She doesn’t even run fast. She says it is spiritual for her and helps her clear her head. I do not get it. I play football and man, I am fast. I wouldn’t even bother if I ran as slow as she does. I don’t even think she likes me. She used to tell me “I always love you but I don’t always like you.” Well, guess what? That works both ways and I haven’t liked her in a very long time. In November, she thought I was being rude to her and left on Thanksgiving without telling anyone. Who does that? Granted, I didn’t speak to her and I was kind of rude, and did tell everyone I didn’t know why she was hurt; but to leave and not tell anyone is not cool. It really hurt my grandmother’s feelings. I think my mom had a break down or something in November. I still don’t understand why she left like that. I keep telling my grandparents she is an idiot. I know my grandfather sometimes agrees, but grandma takes up for her. She tells me no matter what that my mom is STILL my mother and she is the only mother I have. Sometimes, I want to trade her in for a new one. It almost makes me want to cry how mad I am at her. I don’t even understand where all this anger comes from. I guess since she is letting me live here with my grandparents I feel a little abandoned. We used to do some fun stuff. We have gone on two cruises and to Florida to Disney World and Universal Studios. Mom was chomping to get on the Jaws ride. That was the first thing we did. It was a pretty good trip. All our trips have been pretty good. Sometimes, I miss that.
I don’t miss living in that crappy house we lived in. At least here with my grandparents, I live in a nice house. Hate to say it, but the nice house is good for my status. Explaining why my mom doesn’t live with me, not so much. Explaining, that my parents are divorced and I live with my grandparents is kind of hard too. The good news is boys don’t really talk about their private lives, unless it is about girls. We do talk about girls.
Oh God, mom is going to be here in about thirty minutes. I can hear her annoying fucking voice now. I DO NOT WANT TO GO! I throw myself on my bed, hoping she backs out. I wait and I wait. She doesn’t back out. I didn’t think she would.
Give me strength. Fuck my life.