Michael Castro
Chapter#21
TWENTY-ONE
SHACKLES
September 22, 2008
Some people might think that I’ve been selfish because I haven’t remained “Secretive” about the things we’ve done in the past. Maybe some feel that I’m only thinking of myself right now instead of trying to being more “Supportive?” I’m not going worry about the “Skeptics” who feel I should have refrained from being straight with you. Those who’ve actually been reading what I’ve wrote you understand that “I’m on a Mission from God and it’s time to get Real.”
I don’t believe “Sugar Coating” anything would be “Advantageous” to neither one. I’ve now been instructed by a higher power to take “The Direct Approach” when reminding you of the “Different Chapters of Our Lives.” I believe that when being reminded of our “Our Mistakes” it’s more likely we won’t repeat them. While working towards a “True Relationship” with Jesus Christ there’s no need to tell “half-truths” because He already knows what we’ve done even before do it.
We both have one else to blame but ourselves for the “Present Position” we’ve put ourselves. After reading this I’d like to think you’d agree with me after taking some time thinking about it. It’s really comes down to “Transparency” because this is the thing that will help us break out of the “Shackles of Discouragement.” And I’m not going through another “Little Brother Crises” right now. I’ve just started taking baby steps as I “try” to walk with Jesus.
While on this walk, I’ve tried conveying positive messages” because all of “The Signs” around now tell me to. You can say the sharing these messages with you is part of my “Destiny.” Whenever you have moments ware you feel “Confused” or “Completely Overwhelmed” by negative, just remember that I’m here for you. Together we’re going to get through this.
I understand that you have to deal with “Prison Politics” each and every day, and that’s not an easy thing to do. Why I’ve even been here for you through the times when you might have felt that you have more important things on your mind than to read or even listen to the things your “Silly Little Brother Has Written.” I told you from the very beginning that my intentions were only to try and be here for you. Isn’t that’s the most important thing to do right now?
Part of “My Destiny” is to also remind you that you’ll soon be getting your “Freedom” back once you’re released. And to also remind you that you’re still a very important piece in “God’s Enormous Puzzle,” just like I am. From the time your first joined “The Boy Scouts of America” when we both very young these “Our Puzzle Pieces” were already planned by “All Mighty God.”
But the idea of you being detained in a small gymnasium with hundreds of other people because of “Overcrowding” has to be very hard, because it’s even hard for me to accept. Constantly having to live under “Imposed Prison Rules” is certainly no joke. Living without any privacy certainly takes precedence over anything I could possibly imagine right now. Just try to remember that God is there for you, and actually been with you through your stay.
So now that I’ve gotten your attention I think it’s time to “Lighten-up” a bit because to tell you the truth, I’d much rather “Razz” you like we’ve done to each other since our childhood years. But as your Little Brother, I feel that have the “Right” to be blunt with you, just like you’ve been with me in the past when you’ve had “Your Best Intentions.”
It’s time that we both wake-up, Big Brother, because Juan Valdez isn’t coming down from the tallest Colombian Mountain just to bring us “Special Coffee Beans” that’s going to make everything better. But when you acquire “Your Freedom” once again this December, I believe that you’re going to find a multitude of “Opportunities” being provided by God. Hasn’t He already helped you earn those “New Certificates” on the inside. Can’t you feel your “Power Escalating” and your “Freedom” nearing quickly each and every day?
Now getting back to my “Bluntness,” Back in the day I tried telling you many times while growing-up that I didn’t think some of your “Decisions” were the best ones. Back when we were both still in high school, in my heart I was worried that someday all of your “Bad Decisions” would eventually catch-up to you, just like they’ve caught-up to me. This is the time in our lives that you felt that I was getting into “Your Business,” and being nothing but a “Complete Nascence.” While feeling like this it’s no surprise you never listened to me.
I hope you’ve realized that sometimes when you lost your temper with me, was only because I’d made a “suggestion.” Bottom line is I didn’t want to see you get into any trouble. But at times “Trouble” still seemed to find us, even though we we’re looking for him. One example is sometimes when we’d go out with a few other friends, someone would suddenly get into a fight. Some guys were so jealous they didn’t want anyone looking at their “Women!”
(Okay, let’s lighten-up a little more)
Today, my troubles include not being able to even hold-up books while reading even short amounts of time. I had “Severe Carpal Tunnel Syndrome” in the both of my hands. Even after having surgeries on both of them, I’m still having trouble. The reason why I hadn’t given you the “Complete 411” about my Health was because I didn’t want you worrying about me.
Add this to my “Chronic Back Condition” which I’ve had over twenty years now, and you’d have a good idea of my physical condition. Not have to live with pain each and every day, this hasn’t change my Faith. This is just one of the reasons why I believe there’s still a better place in this world for the both of us.
I’ve been told by Specialist the Carpal Tunnel and “Tendonitis” in both of my hands may have started back when I was a Meat Cutter in high school. I do remember the constantly gripping of my knives would sometime cause pain in my hands, but I just thought they were getting tired from all the repetitive work. I also now have tearing in both Rotator Cuffs of my Shoulders, Tennis Elbow, and might need a second surgery on my right knee. With all this going on in my life right now, I’ve still followed through my commitment to write you. This is the same commitment you need for yourself when planning and looking towards the future.
Have I mentioned the “Degenerative Disk Disease in my Neck and Back?” It’s now difficult to stand in one spot for even a short while. Let me list a few more things that I now find “challenging,” like stooped-over washing dishes, sitting long periods of time, or even holding-up the Newspaper while reading. But like I’ve said before this isn’t about me, this is about “Us” and the things we are presently going through.
You should know that I’ve also been kind of “Private Person” like yourself. Mostly not to worry I’ve not told anyone else in our family about the “True Severity of my Ailments.” Now you know that I’ve had my share of difficulties over the pasts few years, just like you have. But I still get up in morning five days out of the week at 5:30am, and pray for strength to get through the day. I also give God thanks that I’m still alive.
After making coffee and some sort of breakfast for Liz I then take her to work at 6: 30am because we only have one car in our family right now. But I’ve wondered many times if being raised with the “Old School Military Macho Man Mentality” had anything to do why weren’t so secretive? I’m sure you’ve also herd that “Real Men aren’t supposed to show their weaknesses.” But this is now the “21’st Century,” Big Brother! There’s nothing wrong asking for “Help” when we feel it’s needed. from times to time.
We also shouldn’t worry too much about what other people say because if it’s going to aid me getting to a better place, I’m all for it. If it’s going to help improve are wellbeing you also shouldn’t worry too much. I say these things even with all of my “Physical Aliments” because I still refuse to be “Shackled” by my present circumstances. You should also refuse to be by yours because this is “Far from Over.”
Right now I still feel that God’s is continually working on me, and through He is now “Reaching-out to You.” Think about it. This is just one of the things a person does who walks around with Jesus in their hearts. Another is they put other people first before themselves, so I have no problem sharing that I use to be a very selfish person who always put himself first.
I’ve now filed for “Social Security Disability Benefits” because this is the only choice I had in order to receive the “Medical Attention” I need. I have to confess that “Over-the-Counter Medication” didn’t help alleviate my “Pain.” I know “Prescribed Pain Medication” falls under “Appetites of the Flesh” in the Bible, but I’m still going to do what I have to do for myself right. I can always look into “Natural Remedies” or “Natural Herbs” sometime in the furture.
Since you’ll be released around the holidays I want you with knowing that “Our Family Celebrations” just haven’t been as “Joyful” without you around. Getting those “Short Phone Calls” from you on Christmas Day isn’t exactly the kind of gift on my “Christmas List.” I’ll still take them at our parents’ because it’s always good to hear your voice. It’s also the perfect time to “inform you” of any new events I think you might be interested in hearing about.
But I still remember the “Last Christmas Feast” with you that our family celebrated together. It was “Extra Special” to me and everyone else because you were there to participate. It’s good to know that you’ll soon be with us once again, “God Willing.” On this day our “Entire family” will feel truly blessed to have you around to also celebrate “The Birth of Christ.”
Then together we’ll both take it one step at a time “Out Here” where you truly belong. It may not be easy to find a job right away, but with special skills you’ve learned while earning your “Different Certificates,” it just might not be that long before you’re employed.
This is a definite plus, especially from others who don’t have many skills at all. But I still feel that in this world there’s a place for everyone if we will only keep searching. Also it’s good not to forget the special relationship we’ve developed with God on the inside. If we are willing to make an effort building on this relationship while out, I believe we will then receive special blessings from the Lord. Make sense?
In moving forward with Jesus Christ there is no door can be permanently closed. Haven’t you heard the saying “When one door is closed Jesus will then open a window?” I’m pretty sure it went something like that. With the right attitude and plan in mind, you’re going to feel really good on the day you’re hired for your “first new job”. You will then feel this “Great Relief” along with your “New Found Freedom” because you will truly know that you’ve broken from those “Shackles That Have Bond You” for already too long. You’ll have this opportunity soon.
There’s nothing wrong with a person having big dreams, but it’s in the “Plan” that a person reaches their “Goals.” Even at my age, I can truly tell you that I have certain “Plans” for myself. I know that it’s not going to be easy obtaining them, but after I put in the hard work “My Goals” will then be reached. We can both still reach “heights” like never before. One of the keys in accomplishing this is to not forget our relationship with Jesus, then expect that we’ll receive special blessings. It actually says something about “Expecting Blessings” in the Bible.
“So think clearly and exercise self-control. Look forward to the special blessings that will come to you at the return of Jesus Christ.”