EIGHTEEN

PAST MISTAKES

August 25, 2008

In a recent letter you mentioned something about our “Trails and Tribulations,” so let’s now examine this subject a little closer. Again, first of all you know that I’m your “Brother” who cares for you. I’m never going to “Air-out Your Dirty Laundry in Public.” Instead, let me offer myself once again as an example. I want to also remind you if God can forgive me of my mistakes, He will also forgive you of yours.

As an Adult I’ve realized and grasped the “Realities of My Actions.” I made some serious mistakes while I was a Young High School Teenager. Back then, it was my “Stubborn Immaturity” that prevented me from listening to anyone around me who really cared. These “Closed Eared Practices” of mine caused the beginning of my Downfall.

I began drinking at those weekend parties that were so popular back then. Other high school students would actually give-out flyers leading up to that party informing us who was giving it, and the address to get there. This went-on for a couple of years until I managed to graduated. Yes, we shouldn’t have been drinking, but my two best friends and I would take turns being the designated driver.

After graduating we went to the same sort of parties, while our drinking continued. My first mistakes were starting drink so young, and that I didn’t listen to our parents when they suggested I slowdown. I didn’t listen in part because I was stubborn. Besides, the person giving the party was so popular, meaning a good amount of people would show. This kind of thinking fogged my mind while I thought “I was invincible and not be harmed by my decisions.”

This kind of reckless thinking ultimately cause me to be involved in that Single Motor Vehicle Car Accident when I was around 22 years old. I broke my back in three different places, leaving me “Disabled” for the rest of my life. If I had only listen to our parents back then, Big Brother, there’s a good chance I wouldn’t now be “Physically Challenged.” We’ll get more into this accident the next time I write you.

These are the exact sort of things that happens to a person when they don’t listen to their “Inner Voice” not to make certain decisions that have a high degree of chance. You know we all have our personal reasons why we took so many “Daring Chances.” This is the way it is until we decide not to take so many chances with our lives. I for one did this exact thing, over and over again.

Understand that I’m not blaming you for any of my past mistakes, Big Brother, in any “Way, Shape or Form.” But you know what I mean when I say, “We are both very fortunate to still be alive today.” Others friends we knew weren’t so fortunate, and fell victim to Drunk Driving Accidents. I’ve concluded we’re still around because God has special plans for our lives before we’re “Needed by Him up in Heaven.”

Looking back, it’s fair to say that “I use to be a very foolish person.” Many people might also feel that “I’m not deserving of all the chances I’ve received” because someone close to them didn’t get that second chances. In those cases, I can totally understand where they’re coming from.

I’ve used the term “Second Chances” because this first applied to me “When my life was spared at just three years old. I witnessed my Guardian Angel, and experienced a slice of Heaven. But I’ve learned that didn’t mean my life wouldn’t be faced with the same challenges as yours.

After that car accident it changed my way of thinking. Oh I’ve still gone through many different experiences in my life, but I just haven’t had the “urge to drink like I use to.” Perhaps one of the reasons why I’m still around is after someone reads what I’ve written you, that person can learn something from my past mistakes and not make the same ones. Then my second chances would not have been “Given in Vein.”

While you read this, just try to keep an open mind. Remember, I’m just God’s Messenger. If a Special Message should get through to someone else besides yourself, whether they be “Young, Old, Man or Woman, this is good enough reason why I’m now divulging my personal information. I have to take this chance in order for “Someone else’s life can be spared.”

But even though no one else was injured the night of my “Single Motor Vehicle Accident,” I’ve realized I could have very easily hurt, if not killed some innocent people. When I think about that night, I suddenly feel this sadness in my heart because I didn’t listen to our parents to slowdown. Yes, I swerved my car off the road because a dog suddenly ran in front of my car. But if I’d only listened to stay home that night and rest, I wouldn’t have put myself in “The wrong place at the wrong time.”

Because of the “Challenging Physical Condition” I’ve been left with, there were many times I felt depressed, and was drowning in “self-pity.” I felt as if I just wanted to stay in bed all day because of “The Cards I’d Been Dealt.” But one day with God’s help, I slowly started accepting things for what they were, and stared taking ownership of the mistakes I made. I did this taking one day at a time because that’s all any of us can do.

So if you can relate to anything I’ve just mentioned, and not get angry when I ask “Perhaps we both should have listen a little more back in the day?” You’re also on the right path of changing your life for the better. But if you’re in “Denial,” and blaming someone else for your mistakes, we can just “Squash” this topic for now, Big Brother. It’s more important that we now try to make better decisions in the future.

It’s true I didn’t listen to our parents back when I should have. If there was a way of letting them know that I’ve realized all of the pain and heartache I’ve caused them in “My Life,” I know it would really touch their hearts. This might sound corny to but it’s true.

I’d begin by saying:

“I’m truly sorry Mom and Dad, for not listening to you when you tried giving me advice. I’ve realized now that ‘I’m a Grown Man’ that you were both only trying to protect me from harm. I was foolish and reckless back then, and I’m truly sorry for not listening.” (But this is just me)

I’ve also realized that God didn’t spare my life as a “Young Child” for me to continuously “Live on the Edge” as they say. But that’s exactly how I repaid Him, Big Brother. While making some of my mistakes I’d “Cop-out,” telling myself “Everyone else is doing it, so why can’t I?!” So I did many things against my better judgement.

Now that I’m “Clean and Sober” I know that I was only trying to rectify my “Warped Way of Thinking” while under the influence. Yes, I turned my back on “God and His Blessing of Life,” just to be like one of the others amongst our crowd. Realizing “Our Mistakes” just proves we’re still very much alive, and you’ll thing about making the same mistake again! With this you’re also “Building stable building blocks for your future.” Who doesn’t want that sort of thing?

I know it’s “No Excuse” that I been more of “A Follower than a Leader” most of my life. Back then I just went along with “The Rest of the Crowd.” And while I was slowly drifted towards “The Crowd,’” I knew that I was also drifting away from my relationship with Jesus Christ. I’d have this feeling of Guilt, but that still didn’t stop me from doing the things I shouldn’t have.

After what I’d been through at three, how could I have possibly forgotten our mother words she’d repeatedly tell me as a young child. She’d say, “God gave you a second chance, and spared your life for a reason.” So every time I did something I shouldn’t have, it made me feel guilty. But that still didn’t stop me from doing it. You know what I’m talking about when I tell you that, “I should have known better, Big Brother. I just should have known better.”

Just because everyone else at those High School Parties was drinking didn’t mean I had to. But I did it anyway. To say I just wanted to fit-in with the rest of the crowd is a “Total Cop-out.” Still it was the excuse I used whenever offered alcohol. This guilt I felt didn’t stop me, but in my head I continued asking myself, “What am I doing this for. This just isn’t me. This just isn’t me.”

The scary thing about the “Foolish Mistakes” we made as Teens is at some point, I’m going to have “The Talk” with your Niece because I don’t want her going through the same heartache. She’ll be getting her Learner’s Permit soon and want go out with her friends. So in now sharing “My Mistakes,” I hope she listens, and doesn’t make the same ones I did around her age.

She’ll soon attend her Winter Formal, then the Prom. Not to mention those “Private Parties” where we know things can get quickly out of hand depending on the crowd you hang-out with. We just thank God that she’s pretty well grounded person.

Are you still sitting down Big Brother, because I forgot to tell you that “Your niece actually already went to her first High School Winter Formal as a Sophomore. Her date was a Junior from Buchannan High.” Just be rest assured we met her date’s parents first before she went to the dance. They actually invited us over for dinner before the Formal to get more acquainted. We even found through the “Evening’s Conversation” that they knew some of the same people we do. It's a Small World.

Besides you know very well that I wouldn’t let your Niece go out with just anyone. It’s a good thing he was a “Perfect Gentleman” towards us, and wasn’t wearing a Leather Vest over a Sleeveless T-shirt Shirt, with Tattoos that read “Born to Rise Hell!” You know that wouldn’t have “Flied with Me” if he tried taking her to the dance on his Harley Davidson. Ha! That's a father’s worst nightmare.

Your Niece and this young man seemed to have a lot in common, which is always a good thing. They’re both are “Bookworms” who enjoy drawing, and they’re both“Computer Literate and Instant Messaging Pros.” But the thing that stood-out to me the most that evening, was the respectful he had towards his parents. That’s the same way your Niece is with us.

Don’t get me wrong Big Brother! In “No-way, Shape or Form” is your Niece going Steady!” At 15 going on 16 this coming October 12th, we’re just glad to see her more focused on School. And if she’s ever going to receive a College Scholarship she’s knows it has to be earned. It’s just good thing to know what’s important to you.

We’ve told your Niece “Being Popular” isn’t going to get her accepted to one of those “Nice Colleges” she’s interested in. She’s a pretty smart person with a good head on her shoulders. God Willing, she’ll only stays that way. Picking a Major and going for it is also a very important thing. But for now will just focus on getting good grades in high school.

As parents we now realize why our parents always wanted to give us “Advice” back in the day. Do you still remember what they always use to tell us when we didn’t want to listen? They’d say something like, “You just wait until you have children of your own! Then you’re going to remember when you didn’t listen to us, when they start not wanting to listen to you! You just wait!” And they were right, Big Brother because we now find it very challenging with our own children, especially when they arrive at their own “Teenage Years.”

Just remember that I don’t blame anyone else but myself for “My Past Mistakes.” I just wake-up every morning thanking God that I’m still alive. It’s true that I’ve now been left “Physical Challenged” after my car accident because I didn’t want to stay home and rest. But that’s still not going to stop me from living my life the best that I can. You should too.

Because of the lessons I’ve learned, I just don’t want anyone else ending-up like me, especially your Niece, my Daughter. I've realized how fortunate I am to still be around. Because of this, I “Praise Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” for dying on the Cross so that our Sins could be forgiven. Can I get an “Amen?! “Thank you!” But I still want to give you more details about my car accident where my life was spared for a second time.

“I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD.”

Psalm 118:17

Next Chapter: Chapter #17