The break up- So by this point I had found about about the 6 other girls... He even slept with one of my friends. He had a three way while he said he was at his grandmothers house and the bitch even covered for him because she disliked me so much. When I found out about it, he denied it and said she was lying to me when she came clean. A few months had passed, and we were getting close to our wedding date. I had gone back to see my parents and visit wedding venues. When I came home from the trip, I started getting prank calls from girls at the house and the same car with two girls kept driving by the house. If found out he had a three way with them while I was on my trip. He had also been dating a girl for a few months behind my back. When I confronted him, he slapped me and then wrapped his hands around my throat. Oddly enough my step father made me take a self-defense class freshman year of college as my PE credit and I knew how to get out of it. I ran and he pushed me on the ground. He put me in a wrestling chock hold. I reached between his legs and grabbed his nuts as hard as I could to get him off me and ran to get my pepper spray. I told him to stay away or I would spray him, and he charged at me. I sprayed him in the face, and he picked me up and threw me against the wall. I don’t know how but I got up. And as he screamed in pain as the full force of the pepper spray finally hit him. I tackled him. As he was on the ground, I kicked him in the ribs with all the fight I had left in me. His friends showed up to take him to a house party and took him. They screamed at me and called me a psycho for fighting back. The downstairs neighbors had called the police who came to check on me. The found him and arrested him. While he was in jail my mom and her neighbor came and helped me pack up my life and move back in with them. He called their house when he got out of jail and called me a crazy bitch. He lied to them and told the police that I had attacked him for no reason, and they accused me of fleeing the scene of the crime. My mom had taken me to the hospital after they came to help me move out, so I had proof of my injuries. He had fractured my ribs and I had bruise from him choking me. A few months went by and stopped getting out of bed. I wasn’t showering or eating. I just wanted everything to stop. The only man who ever “loved me” had just taken away the last hope I had for a “normal life”. I was back in my parents’ home again. The place I had tried to escape for so long. I couldn’t be back here again. Not again. Things got worse when he called me a few months later and told me his friend had died and he wanted me to go to the funeral with him. He couldn’t count on the girl he had been having the affair with to help me through this. If I was really his friend, I would do this. He was going to let me think about it overnight and let me know when the funeral was. His new girlfriend called me and told me to stay away from him and that he had moved in with her and they were now engaged. This was the nail in the coffin. I didn’t want to be here anymore. I couldn’t handle this anymore. If I was his real friend, I would do this? For the man who cheat on me, who abused me and made me hate myself. If he was my true friend, I would not be in this fucked up situation. I saw no other option but to find a way to stop this nightmare my life had become.

Next Chapter: Entry Twenty-four