She’s not really their sister right? - By this point in school I had kind of distanced myself a lot from my siblings. No one believed that I was related to by sister or my step brother. I was kind of glad though. When I would bet outed as being "their sister" it always turned into a long conversation about how there was NOOOO freaking way we could be siblings. The most common response was to tell me how easy it was to get in my sisters pants. She had a reputation for being a slutty drunk. At one point she even came on to one of my friends from the cross country team at a homecoming party. He said he felt bad that she tried to hook up with him. He said he knew it would be a bad friend move to take advantage of how willing and ready she was to go upstairs with him. I was embarrassed to admit she was my sister when I would come up. Girls would swoon over my step brother and ask me if he would date them. That grossed me out so much. He was such a tool, how could anyone like him like that? Both of them were dicks to me too so I was glad no one knew we were related. I was kind of pissed when people would point it out to others at school. I was totally find flying under the radar about it. I liked the idea of being an only child in everyone’s eyes. That meant no one knew that I was part of a fucked up family. I was able to be me and not be associated with them if no one knew I was part of their family. My parents were not really part of my school life at all. No PTA parents here. They barely acknowledge me in general. Everything I did that was to me considered an accomplishment was seen as me being a goody goody. I was the black sheep of the family. I was made to feel like an outcast at home. I guess that’s why it never really felt like a home or a safe place for me. I don’t feel connected to any of them really. If I didn’t look just like my dad I would have believed the stories my sister would tell me that I was adopted or switched at birth. At least that would have made me feel less alone in that house. Knowing that there was a family out there somewhere that actually may have been like me or could have loved me. But, that’s not the reality I live in and that is not the life I lived. I am the weirdo and the odd one out and always will be to them. 

Next Chapter: Entry Eighteen