I have been in basic training for weeks. I have come to realize that the job that I chose for myself was only available to me because of my high test scores. I’m in basic training but when I leave here I’ll be in military intelligence. But for now, I’m a regular soldier. And not a very good one at that.

The business day before we got to go on our first field training exercise, we had to learn to use a grenade at the grenade range. And it was relatively straight forward except to make it under pressure like it would be in real lifetimes; a drill sergeant was trying to scare you as you pulled the pin and threw the grenade.

It was my turn to throw my two grenades. And I throw the first one and there was no problem because I ignored Drill Sergeant Hamilton yelling at me it was very easy to ignore her. Then Drill Sergeant Esciabito gets called out and they both yell at me as I throw the next one, and I panic.

I pull the pin and cock the grenade back really fast. When I went to throw, leaving my sight is a small shiny safety pin.

The drill sergeants looked forward confused, then at me more confused and we all in unison look back terrified and see a rolling black grenade in the air and one throws me over the stone wall picking me up by my body armor. And both of them come behind with me leaping over the wall landing on top of me.

There are tense moments crawling by as we all brace for impact, and I can just barely hear the grenade hit the wooden door and I realize that I fucked up, endangering the entire platoon who was waiting for their turn just on the other side of that heavy door.

I continue waiting anxiously for the shockwave to be felt passing through my body like it did with the first one. And those seconds were the longest I ever felt. I had some kind of relief as I felt the shockwave then I listened for the stone to be pelted by the shrapnel. I heard it rain burning metal, rocks and wood just on the other side of the wall.

The sergeants stood up and started kicking me in the ribs, it only jarred me around a little bit because I was wearing bullet proof armor as was instructed. I was told to get up and when I did I could see past the meter tall wall and the door was completely in the stone enclosure behind it that housed 50 privates and two other drill sergeants. I walked in fear towards the structure fearing the unknown of what I would find. I didn’t let that fear slow me down.

It was nothing that I thought it would be, but it was still really bad. I found 50 pissed off and terrified people behind that door. And they made their feelings known all at once. Going back to the barracks that day was not very fun; people were taking cheap shots at me. Drill Sergeant Stevens told drill sergeant Burger that people were starting to beat me up. Or as he told him "people starting to bruise the Quesadilla".

After we got on the bus Drill Sergeant Burger walks up and announces his presence. "This is usually not a fucking democracy, but there’s power in numbers, so we’re going to take a fucking vote right now on what is going to happen to Quesadilla!"

The crowd started yelling back. Drill sergeant burger started yelling, "OK, HOW BOUT YALL SHUT THE FUCK UP NOW! I WILL NOT HESITATE TO SMOKE THE FUCKING ALL OF YOU ON THIS FUCKING BUS!"

The bus was muted quickly after that. And Drill Sergeant Stevens started talking. "Ok, the choices are we can give Quesadilla a company grade Article 15 or court marshal for nearly killing an American Platoon, we can not give him his mail for a week or we can have a day of Combatives where everyone goes against Quesadilla"

Someone raises their hand and Drill Sergeant Burger goes "What the fuck did you not understand about that random Private with your hand in the air?"

A female goes, "Drill Sergeant, Quesadilla hasn’t gotten a single piece of mail since he’s been here Drill Sergeant"

Drill Sergeant Burger goes "Good point Private, I owe you 50 pushups, I will give them to you after chow. she gives him a weird look "Hey; I told you all at the beginning that if I am proved wrong I will give you 50 slow pushups"

Drill Sergeant Stevens goes, I’m going to pass out a piece of paper and a pen, everyone except Quesadilla will get a vote, He’d probably fuck it up anyhow if we gave him a choice and said something like ’do nothing please’ or ’it was only an accident’". Everyone laughed at that a little bit except for me.

We start moving on this bus after we know his fate. It was a long wait and I could hear whispering and laughs of evil as it gets passed from person to person.

I watch it as it passes by me and in a straight line were things that read ’DESTROY HIM!’, ’can we use strikes as we beat him up’ and ’Combatives are fun :). Shortly after I see the other two buses leave. And the paper and pen get passed around the bus and to the Drill Sergeants and I’m still awaiting my fate. I’m starting to sweat from more than I should be on this heat category five-day its because of the accumulative body heat on the bus.

Drill Sergeant Burger snatches the paper from Drill Sergeant Stevens, "Let’s see how violent and pissed you pukes are!" He pauses as he marks up the paper for a little while "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT BULLSHIT?" He pauses again "one, two, three, four people voted ’Do Nothing Please’ Who the fuck voted that, raise your barrels in the air if you did that!"

There was only silence on the bus the tension raised really high as no one moves or breathes. Drill Sergeant Stevens "Did he fucking stu-stu- stutter? That was a fucking order!" I hear the rustling of the uniform and I look around and I can’t identify whose rifles went up. Drill Sergeant Stevens yells "Ok, people help me see the people who a holding their rifles up".

There’s a shift in the bus. And Drill Sergeant Burger goes "Oh I should’ve known it was the fucking friends of Quesadilla, all the other fuck ups: Healy, Frailey, Chmura and Moore comma Jessica, guess what, you’re all on team Quesadilla as he fights the rest of the company tomorrow and the day after that we do our 15Km March to FTX one and two."

I had never been in a fight in front of other people before, I was always excluded from the fights our Platoon performed being the primary medic for all injuries attained in the fights, major or minor.

Turns out that the medic that was going to be replacing me for my injuries was PV2 Carlisle second platoon’s medic. I choose him by name because he was the second best in the company. I was very nervous that night as I waited for my fights. I didn’t sleep that night.

The next day came and an announcement came over the intercom "Platoon 3 does not have PT and does not have to shave but must come out at the PT formation Combatives ready within 30 seconds"

Everyone cheered and I still sat in my room using my bed as a prop while I do sit ups. Frailey, Healy, and Chmura came up to me and helped me relax a little bit before we finally went outside for formation.

The other Platoons were ready to redo the confidence course that they loved so very much. I loved it too, I got to do the whole thing and not a single person got so much as a scrape and needed a band aid. They knew what we were doing, and we knew what they were doing, and both groups couldn’t be any happier with the results except PV2 Carlisle who was pulled out of ranks and he was pissed about the whole thing.

Before I realized what was going on my teammates were on all 4 sides of me waiting to be tagged in. And everyone had one chance in the ring with me, either the company would get a point or I would get a point depending on who wins. Everyone on my team would have to do pushups if we lost. And the entire company would have to get a smoking if they couldn’t win with the overwhelming force of 32 against 5.

And I got a break between each person of 3 minutes, where we just bullshitted around and talked about the fight as I caught my breath. Strikes were allowed and I dominated the first 3 fights, then a woman got pushed in the ring for me to fight. It was one who really didn’t like me at all. And

She was relentless as we acted like kickboxers in a ring. Except I refused to do more than just block her hits or parry out of her way making her look stupid.

She was really slow for her small size and I really pissed her off by in the middle of bending over backward to avoid a punch and a kick at the same time I poked her tummy by reaching over my head. The whole crowd laughed at her. Drill Sergeant Stevens goes "Damn Quesadilla is untouchable! Who would have guessed."

Drill Sergeant Burger acting as the ref goes "Quesadilla, what is wrong with you, won’t you hit a girl?"

I take my eyes off Haas for a moment as I get into parade rest and say, "I will not Drill Sergeant". Haas tackles me partly into the crowd and wails on my face. I feel someone clap my hand as I see Haas’s best friend Moore tackles her back into the ring and gets an armbar submission fairly quickly.

Another guy enters the ring and she runs back to me as I’m dusting myself off she slaps my butt like a coach and smiles and winks as she pushes me "You’re back in Quesadilla, I’ll handle the women in this fighting tournament."

This guy knew what he was doing in a fight; he kicked me in the side and sent me flying into a group of people and Chmura offers to get in the ring.

"I just wasn’t ready." The crowd cheers for my opponent. The first one to land a clean hit on me. I go back and he runs to me and does a flying kick at me. I dodge him and manage to hang onto his foot. And force him to the ground. I managed to keep ahold of his leg and do a leg lock and he’s refusing to submit to me. So I twist my waist around his knee he puts his other knee around my neck and I continue to twist. And I feel something out of place. He starts crying in agony and I tell the Drill Sergeant Burger who is directly over my head, "Drill Sergeant, I felt a pop in his shin." Drill Sergeant Burger pulls me off as he blows the whistle to stop this fight. "This is a good place to stop we have MRE’s for everyone, it’s time for breakfast."

During the break, I get called into the Drill Sergeant’s office with PVT Healy as my battle buddy. Both Sergeants remove their hats for me and then their ranks.

Drill Sergeant Stevens looks concerned at me, "Quesadilla, were you serious when you said that you won’t hit a woman?"

I get in parade rest, "Yes, Drill Sergeant."

Drill Sergeant Burger speaks up, "hey, our hats are off, our ranks are off, we’re talking to you casually. As equals, as men with experience and age asking for your respect, not rank and a hat demanding it. Don’t address us, THAT GOES FOR YOU TOO HEALY! But once our shit is back on, it’s back to seriousness and you need to address us.

I look him straight in the face, "Understood"

Stevens looks at me in that strange way again, "Do you have any idea why we’re calling you out on this?"

I look at him like I’m an idiot, "Negative"

Stevens speaks again, "Healy do you have any idea?"

Healy pipes up in his squeaky voice, "Is it because the enemy isn’t always known?"

Burger looks angry at him, "Very close Healy, now give me 5 pushups because I hate your face."

Healy protested, "You didn’t make him push when he got it wrong!"

Burger raises his voice, "FIFTEEN!"

Healy gets on the ground and starts push-ups and Burger places a rucksack on Healy that looked like it was 3 times Healy’s size. Burger says, "c’mon Healy extra 70Lbs, only 15. I can Get Quesadilla on you instead if you’d like." He faces me, "Now, Quesadilla, here is where he was wrong. The enemy loves to find out the enemy’s weakness and use that against them. Often IED’s will be made from dead animals especially what looks like common dogs or house cats. Or they will hook bombs up to the children we get close to in other countries. Or women we like sometimes women we plan to marry. And we cannot let our guard down, or we get blown up or shot."

Drill Sergent Stevens interrupts, "May I interject? I have something to add."

Drill Sergent Burger responds, "Go for it, by all means."

Drill Sergent Stevens adds, "We aren’t just fighting men overseas; we’re also fighting women and children. We need to break this habit of yours ASAP."

Drill Sergent Burger yells, "Healy! One fucking more don’t stop now!

I respond, "How are you going to break this habit of mine?"

Drill Sergent Burger smiles, "how about you only fight women for an hour, you’ll either get knocked the fuck out or you will break your habit."

Drill Sergent Stevens chuckles a little bit, "I like that, how about we make it so that there’s more than one opponent. In there with him, how do you like two Drill Sergent Burger?"

Drill Sergent Burger chuckles, "he fucking played Haas with way too much ease, two he still won’t be breaking a sweat, I like three."

Drill Sergent Stevens, "three against one, sounds like a good time. Gonna have me like Mc Donalds, I’m loving it."

The both laugh then I say, "I don’t like the idea."

Drill Sergent Stevens puts on his hat and rank; "That’s an order Quesadilla!"

I go into parade rest, "Yes Drill Sergeant."

I was motioned to get out of the office and Healy followed shortly after me. No sooner did we get off the steps did the drill sergeants walk out where all the privates were done eating and waiting in parade rest. No one yelled to get into Parade Rest to announce to myself and Healy that they were out so I just heard "Everyone but Healy and Quesadilla Front Leaning Rest Position, Go." The other one goes "Quesadilla and Healy, go finish your fucking breakfast. You need your energy."

They walk to the front and center of the Platoon. "The next hour is woman’s fight club, all women are eligible to fight against Quesadilla, and Moore cannot help him! We might let his other male Cohorts help him, we haven’t decided yet."

I continue eating next to Healy as the women let out a pained sound of glee. And he goes on "It gets better since he made Haas look like a fool it is going to be three women against one quesadilla at a time! And yes Haas you can get another round with Quesadilla to get your dignity back we know you need it you were demolished in that fight. The 3-minute break when I blow my whistle still applies but is extended to five minutes because there are more people he’s fighting"

Healy stands up and goes to parade rest and announces, "Drill Sergeant I don’t like the sound of that and neither does Quesadilla, we all know it." I immediately jump and go into the front leaning rest position, an apple still in my mouth.

Drill Sergent Burger calmly says, "Quesadilla punch him in the side of the head. I can’t but it’s a lawful order to tell you to do it."

I do the best I can still in the front leaning rest and trying to strain not dropping the apple in my mouth and I missed giving him a black eye. Healy tattles on me, "That was bullshit Drill Sergeant!"

Drill Sergeant Burger walks up to him "oh is that right pipsqueak, what are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing Drill Sergeant."

"Ten minutes of seven count Burpees go." He puts his watch on Healy’s wrist.

"Yes Drill Sergeant!"

"When you’re done we duel, you’re done disrespecting me, Healy! I’m tired of your fucking mouth!"

I stand up and get in parade rest "Drill Sergeant, Healy isn’t finished eating his food and is currently incapacitated, may I have it drill Sergeant?"

"Yes Quesadilla, you’re gonna need the energy."

I finish both meals and Healy follows the group slowly to where we did our battles still doing his exercise. Which I found amusing. Three women were in the ring and I was a little scared but at the same time determined, Haas decided to go in the first round, she wanted to kick my ass still, so did West(who had made a full recovery) which surprised me because I did nothing to her. West chose a random girl to back her up. And Drill Sergeant Burger just goes "Ding, Ding, Ding" in an evil manner; he was ready for the slaughter."

And they’re all moving fast and in different directs. I have a hard time keeping up with them, trying to strike me and grab me. I’m just dodging the whole time and blocking hits, not to mention contorting myself to make it impossible to be grabbed. I still don’t want to hurt them. And Healy cries out, "Hit Them Please!"

Drill Sergeant Burger announces to Healy "Glad you see it my way, you can stop now. Please give my watch to Drill Sergent Stevens." Healy crawls to the front to see what’s going on and holds up the watch. Which Drill Sergent Stevens is able to grab without too much trouble. And I obey Healy because of that cry. I try to kick Haas in the waist but I got pushed by someone onto Haas, I straddled her stomach. And she shouts out before I could react, "I’M NOT YOUR FUCKING WHORE! THAT’S MOORE’S FANTASY, NOT MINE!" Moore blushes intensely.

She raises her legs going up against my back and crosses them around my neck. And then bends

her knees which forced me to bend over backward she was attempting to choke me as well. West and the other girl both grab one of my arms and start doing an arm bar to me. For the first time ever I had women all over me it was nothing like I had imagined. And Drill Sergeant comes to me upside down as I’m smiling, "Doesn’t that hurt at all Quesadilla?"

"Negative Drill Sergeant, this is like my version of a massage double jointed almost everywhere so this is just making my joints crack and it feels so good." There’s an audible crack in my back and I moan just a little bit involuntarily.

"You are a very strange man", he says as he backs away.

I shout out to make sure I’m heard, "HEY HAAS CAN YOU MOVE YOUR LEFT KNEE A LITTLE BIT TO THE RIGHT PLEASE!"

"SO I’M YOUR NOW BITCH? YOU CAN GIVE ORDERS TO ME? WHY DON’T I GO MAKE YOU A FUCKING SANDWICH, ASSHOLE."

She releases her legs from me and does a really fast sit up and my back springs back to its original position, she brings a fist up with that sit up and she ends up punching me in the forehead. Meanwhile, both girls still have some control of my arms. And afterward, Haas moves away from me and goes "FUCK! Drill Sergeant I forfeit, I think I broke my hand."

"Go get it checked out Haas, he’s going to be telling me who needs to go to the hospital when we’re all done."(I broke her wrist with my face.) I stand up basically forgetting I’m in a fight and clap my arms together even though it’s slow. Like I’m asking for more. The girls hit their heads together and fall off me unconscious their faces red from trying so hard to break my arms and hold on. "Well, I’ve hit three girls now.... Guess I can do it more, BRING IT ON!" The crowd goes wild as more girls enter the ring and I begin treating them just like the guys. I’m doing full on punches to them, I’m not holding back as I knee or elbow them. After the hour was over Drill Sergeant Burger blows the whistle. I’ve tangled up with three different girls again and we basically all just stop when he tells us to. I put the one girl that I had off the ground back on the ground delicately. It was kind of an awkward moment between me and her with my hand in her crotch.

Then Drill Sergeant Burger says, "Lady’s Fight Club is Over, no longer will he be fighting three opponents at once, no longer will there be five-minute breaks, it’s back to three minutes and one person at a time, we’re almost done with the whole company. The scoring has been three points for a knockout, five points for broken bones and one point for submission or pin. Quesadilla and team have a total of 67 Quesadilla to 18 Company, and each of those were pinning him, he has yet to submit. Let’s try to have some more great parts. We saw some great fighting today people. Quesadilla Arm-Barred 3 people at once. He did a back flop to avoid someone doing a flying kick and brought a girl to be kicked in the face instead of him getting hit. He broke more than just Haas’s hand with his head; it looks like he broke some fingers and her wrist. We saw that when it comes to fighting he is not easily beaten at all, I’m sure I’m not the only one that is thinking that we severely underestimated him. I do not know about you guys but I’m not angry at Quesadilla, it’s more like I want to fight him just to see if I can handle it, but Drill Sergeants can’t fight a private unless they are struck first by the private. This has been a lot of fun."

Drill Sergeant Stevens interjects, "I don’t know if you’ve noticed but he’s been recording a lot of this, we’re going to show it to parents for graduation even though it seems like yours won’t come. We need your written permission later for that. So yeah, let’s finish this tournament, Men, and Women now!"

The day ended up being a lot of fun, I ended up losing more and more often near the end from pure exhaustion. Finally, at around dinner time, I just collapsed while we were walking to the dining facility (Score was 197 to 168). I woke up a few hours later thanks to Carlisle. I was to report after I woke up to the Drill Sergeant on duty. And it was at the beginning of our free hour before we went to bed.

Next Chapter: Chapter 14: August 16th, 2008: L