N7x Voss
20 - Xx_TheRainbowGirl_xX - "why don’t I try falling in love?"
I have been asked many times, ’why don’t I try falling in love?’ And I always would reply, ’Do I need to?’
For me, love is like a poison. A very slow working, at that. But, not all sorts of love. I am referring to the preteen love, or even teenage love. Now, not many of you will agree, but that’s what I believe in. I have seen, with my own two eyes, my friends, falling down, deep into abyss, just because of some stupid heartbreak. As a little girl, I believed, that true love existed, somewhere, in some spot of the world. All I need to do is find it. But, as I grew up, I realized that that’s not how the real world works.
A naive little girl, me, once, gave her heart to someone. I felt that he’s the right one for me. I’ll be happy with him. He’ll love me more than anything in the world.
But, again, that’s not how the real world works. I was left heartbroken. I evolved into a lifeless doll, who’s only motive became studying. But, this angel, whom now I call my best friend, came into my life. I think, even now, she doesn’t know of my fears, my insecurities. But, with her, I felt as if, I was needed. There was a place for me in this world.
Now, whenever, I see that boy, which is quite often, I just smile to myself and think of him as a nightmare, that has passed. No one knows my story, nor do I intend to let anyone know. But, one thing, that I have learned is, friendship, is more valuable than true love. What now appears as love, might be infatuation, or even obsession.
Teenagers run behind love, not always knowing what it really is. Whereas I try to find love, not within a guy, but within my friends, my family or even a small little flower that has arisen from the deep pits if Earth. Believe me if you want, I have felt more love in the fresh fragrance of flowers, than I have ever felt in the hearts of a boy.I don’t want to stop you from loving someone, but, I feel, that, not all love is true love. Sometimes, it is a mask, a facade, a name, given to infatuation.
The worst turn it could take, for a girl, or maybe, even a boy, is self harm. Others don’t take the matter of heartbreak very seriously. But it actually is.
It’s not fine, to harm yourself, curse yourself for someone, who doesn’t even know the worth of your existence.
Before loving someone else, we must first love ourselves. Love is a beautiful fantasy, and sometimes, a poisonous reality. It all depends upon the time, place, and especially- the person.