A. W. Owens
To get an elephant off a planet
Chapter 3.0
3.0 To get an elephant off a planet
Buildings are crumbling as the very padded human and the highly unpadded elephant are running across this very strange planet. The loud noises of popping bubble wrap and the tearing of tan padding has filled the entire planet. Windows are breaking and padded Televisions pop and yet all glass and sharp edges are safely contained inside the padding and bubble wrap; Our elephant found this to be somewhat of a relief to know he did not have to worry about sharp things or really hurting himself. POP! a large air pocket erupts sending Arthur flying across a tan street directly into a large building. “Are you okay?” yelled the human, yes replies the elephant I think I am fine. More pops are heard across the city usually evacuating air and or destroying buildings which seem to just fall straight down onto themselves. “We don't have much longer.” “we have to get off this planet. Follow me!” yelled the human as he ran for a patch of tan padded trees which was also known as the Planets padded forest. Getting back to his feet Arthur was still a little shaky from the flight and couldn't help to think elephants were never meant to fly. Two things about a tan padded forest 1: They serve no purpose and 2: they always think they are better than you because they normally out number anything inside them seeing as no one ever goes here, this forest however now holds a padded human and some very angry rats. Our elephant makes his way to the edge of the forest but not without noticing a small object that resembled an S.E.R. running ahead of him; while running through the forest Arthur is ever too often bounced backwards a few feet from hitting the padded trees which he now thought were probably rubber trees. The rats have a padded something surrounded and are closing in fast, reaching to his side the padded human pulls a small object out of his padded pocket which is concealed along his left leg “back or I will shoot” said the human; one thing you should always remember about your enemy is this: never threaten something with a door opener. The rats fall to the ground laughing at this padded human “thats a door opener” yelled one rat while laughing, meanwhile our elephant has had a thought that would normally kill him if it were not for being on a padded planet. “if I just climb to the middle of this tree I should be able to shoot to the other side and find my friend” he thought as he climbed higher and higher. The tree bent back and touched the ground slightly. At this same moment our padded human just lowered the door to his ship squishing the rats into the padding with a single pop the ship started to sink into the pile of exploded rat and bubble wrap, climbing inside he immediately began to start the engines; slowly lifting off into the sky above the forest he thought where is that elephant.
Whoosh! The tree now left to itself bobbing back and forth hoped it never had to go through that again. Arthur was flying across the forest facing downwards so he could have a better view of the forest floor as he went across not thinking of the effect of how he would be landing if he hit the other side in which he would not be doing today. Turning the ship slightly to the left the human noticed something small and grey coming towards him at a very fast rate “what is that?” he thought just before noticing it was getting larger and slightly resembled a flying elephant. Arthur turned just slightly upwards before his eyes grew 2 times the size as he saw the small silver ship with a padded human in it. Both screamed as something louder than an exploding rat was heard around the planet. Little did the padded human know; but there were more important problems than an unpadded elephant stuck to the front of his space ship, one of the S.E.R. was onboard and was trying to make himself comfy in one of the seats when an elephant slammed into the front of the ship sending him flying forward into the window in front of both our elephant and our human who were now screaming.
“The Rat is knocked out” said the shaking human, Arthur stared at the rat and slowly began climbing up to the top of the ship where he soon fell through the moon roof which was now showing off another type of elephant moon. “Throw him out while we have the chance!” yelled Arthur, “wait!” a voice said as the human and elephant were staring at each other, there eyes both grew in size as they screamed a second time. “I just want to go home” said the rat, “I am not cut out for all this destruction and mean you no harm.” “I heard you say you were leaving and decided to follow you in hopes you would take me with you” the rat had a sadness to him and was hoping they would not throw him out, “can I come with you?” asked the rat. Arthur looked at the human waiting for him to go ahead and throw the rat out but instead he replied just don’t blow up. “Could you perhaps remove my explosives” the rat said with hesitation. As the planet collapsed the small silver ship flew off into the stars leaving behind a crumbled rock and an unexploded ratless bomb floating in space.
3.1 Where did all the Humans Go
The strange thing about an apple tree turning into a peanut tree isn't that it’s impossible by our current understanding of physics; but where did it come from and for that matter what happened to the apple tree and even more importantly where did all the humans go.
Without the slightest bit of notice a small blue planet known as Earth to the ape decedents who lived there; otherwise known as “Mostly Harmless” to the rest of the universe as published in a very famous book as now become recently vacant except for one very surprised peanut tree who it just so happened had always wanted to see the African coast this time of year. At this very moment in time the universe changed for ever, for in a parallel universe an apple tree has just arrived on a large vacant planet called Shona IO along with an entire population of very, very confused humans. In the transportation whole cities were ripped from the ground leaving earth barren and making many cities such as New Orleans ironically land completely underwater, still many of the humans wished to live here and still own the property today even though they are very much dead.
In this Universe a small space ship is now entering what some call the cute galaxy. The Cute Galaxy is home to many cute creatures such as the Miceonians and Puffinites of I Six not to go without mention of the cutest things of all; the bunnies, the white rabbits to be exact.