Last update I mentioned my mental health. I’d like to talk about it a little more in relation to writing this novel.
Over the last few months, motivation has been a major challenge when writing Space Cat, and the vast majority of work on the novel has taken place while I’ve been in my work place as opposed to my home. In this regards, I’ve been using novel writing as procrastination when I get stuck in the office, and when at home, I take fancy to frivolous recreation and ignoring my passions. All of this is linked to my anxiety, and I acknowledge that these are not the best practices! At work, I panic and freeze when doing what I’m supposed to do, and so write fantasy instead to escape. At home, I am so tired from stressing at work that I simply do not have the energy to write creatively, and the circle goes on.
This cycle of distraction and exhaustion has influenced parts of the novel, and looking over it, those parts really need an overhaul. They show the frivolity my mind was engrossed in at the time, rather than exploring deeper the profound emotions earlier on (and later on) in Space Cat and highlight the distraction from important situations. I don’t really think people want to simply read some authors fanciful dreams, but rather they’d want to be there with the character, engaging in their life, and riding the storm with them; not playing dress up or gourmet food critic.
The reason for bringing this up is that I’ve begun to hit up on those chapters that need the overhaul, the parts where I’ve skipped over important character developing situations that are low action but meaningful. The reflects my own mind at the time, before I was getting professional help, where I was trying to hide from it. Now I have the help I need, I can reflect back and correct these mistakes that were incredibly breaking to the flow of the novel. I think I mentioned this last update... (side effect of me being ill is bad memory!)
Away from writing the novel, another aspect of it has been marketing. While I technically working in marketing for my day job, it is something that I find impossible to do for myself. I will never tell you that my writing is good, I will never try and sell it as the next great leap in sci-fi. No. I will simply ask if people would have the time to take a look and to give feed back. And I’ll do this once in a while. My confidence sits at a 0, maybe going up and down a little bit, but overall a flat line on the bottom of the chart. I love writing, and would adore to see Space Cat go far, but I literally can’t do it myself due to crushing anxiety and self-loathing telling me otherwise.
For those of you who have read and left feed back, you are truly wonderful and amazing human beings, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart! I also thank you and apologise for these silly updates!