My god, punctuation is sexy.

I love a man who knows how to use his commas

and puts them in all the right places, oxford included.

And what’s more of a turn-on than a man who is bold enough,

confident enough, to use a full stop for emphasis?

Nothing.

Semicolons are sophisticated; knowing how to use them is

like tying a tie or drinking a martini.

(Be careful of too many parentheticals, though.

They can signal weakness.)

Don’t forget the exclamation point!

Have you noticed how phallic it is?

Used just enough, it’s super hot.

Ellipses are seductive, you sly fox, you.

When you use them to hint at the things not said,

I can read between the bubbles...

So text me, darling.

Keep texting me until I’m a puddle of ink.

Next Chapter: Quick Response