[Scratching noises] I think I’ve finally set this thing up.

[buzzing]

The buzzing you hear is a special encryption I designed myself. It plays my #1 hit, “Nebulove” sped-up to 500 times a second - each time slightly different. That way the media wont get wind of this signal. Even without encryption, I doubt anyone would connect to this outdated piece of space trash anyways. [laughing] Which raises the question, why am I even talking like this?

[long pause]

My name is Corona. I’ve been on the top of the Cosmic Empire’s hit charts for the past five years. I started singing when I was first released from the Time Egg at the fragile age of 15. Now I find myself sick of that life, despite the money it has given me, and there are simply no songs left in me to sing. That is why I’ve taken refuge on this inconspicuous Healthy Beverage Division ship. It was a wise choice because (1) there is plenty of alcohol to go around on this ship and (2) the captain, some masked freak, is a complete idiot and has no idea who I am. The rent was cheap, too.

You might be wondering how I was able to disappear from the lime light so easily. Well, it’s simple. I was gifted a very special item from a rich sultan from the Vidlemon Duchy that fell hopelessly in love with me. There are only 3 in existence after the main component – a rare sponge – went extinct generations ago. But here it is: The Clone Cooker. It’s about the shape and size of a normal food pod. But instead of producing pizza and hamburgers, it cooks up as many of me as want. To order. Always fresh and fast.

This is different from your normal clone farms over in the Heart Lands. This can produce a clone in the time it takes to heat a cup of noodles. They come out a little small at first – about four inches – but they grow up pretty fast. Plus, the little ones are surprisingly useful. I usually have them fold my laundry or spy on certain good looking men for me. Finally, the ultimate bonus – we’re all connected. We share memories. So, while my clones are off working hard on tour, or laughing at boring interview jokes, or attending endless award ceremonies, here I am, getting some down time, drinking, and basking in the glow of my admiration by proxy.

Plus I get to work on my personal memoirs - all right here from the comfort of this dismally insignificant Healthy Beverage cruiser.

The only thing I lack is a bit of… company. Luckily, my little spies are currently creeping through the halls, and sharing with me reports of all the finer specimens on this ship’s crew.

I have strange dreams sometimes. All of the little Corona’s scurrying through the ship’s ventilation ducts, scrounging around for crumbs like tiny mice. But then come images of men, like an amorphous cloud, handsome faces ever changing. My heart sometimes twists with a need to have not a single target of my interest, but rather to love in this all seeing way. To love all things desirable at once. One big dreamy multitude of love.

[buzzing raises in volume and pop songs can be heard]

Next Chapter: Hops (Entry 1)