Chapter Five *Hunted*
Chapter Five
*Hunted*
I know what you’re thinking and you’re probably correct: I did eat the elder man and licked his bones clean while I was at it. Out of respect to this wonderful meal, I propped his bones up against the counter in a cross-legged sitting position with one of his green cross signs sitting in his lap. At least he can rest in peace, unlike me. My pain is low and I feel great. I suppose marijuana does help alleviate the pain for the dead too. Talk about a miracle plant! I should hunt down the pot heads and hopefully they will help me out like the elder man did.
I must say that my brain was still feeling tingly and I’m sure that I’m stoned, though many hours have passed by like a fart in the wind. As nice as this shop was, I had to leave it behind since my only source of food was currently digesting in my rotting stomach, keeping me from decaying faster. I liked the idea of no pain so with that as my motivation, I climbed up onto MY tank and proceeded to crawl through a small space in the wall. I didn’t want to leave it behind but it had somehow shut down and I didn’t have a clue on how to start it up.
I slid off the side of the tank and before I walked away, I lovingly patted the tank as I recalled the fond memories shared with it. Though it tried to kill me, we quickly became great friends and caused great deal of havoc and destruction together with our one and only joyride. MY TANK! You be good and rest here. Keep the bones of the elder man company while I’m gone. Huh, I wonder if I was one of those car guys that cared more about cars than anything else in the world. If I was, that passion is dead to me because now I’m a connoisseur of the flesh and all gray matter.
A light rain trickled down from the dark clouds in the sky as I shuffled along the littered street. It was covered in freshly picked over bodies of the fallen soldiers, their weapons scattered nearby and just out of their reach. Now this would make for a great Hallmark card or Instagram post but I suppose those are now obsolete what with the zombie apocalypse. People are more concerned with staying alive and keeping their juicy brains intact than trying to check in on their social media or hash tagging about some silly books they’re trying to sell on some crowd sharing website, crazy right.
I wandered aimlessly down the streets, turning down alleyways for no good reason. I wasn’t hungry nor was the hunger demanding that I go wherever it wants me to go while causing me a great deal of suffering. Being relatively pain free is a comfort and a luxury that comes in short supply. I can’t help but worry when the next bout of hunger will strike. Call this dead guy a wuss and a whiner if you like, but if you had to go through your undead life in constant pain and suffering you would understand. I eat to make it go away and I see no end in sight because I’ve yet to find the courage to end my undead existence. Quite frankly, I don’t find staring down the barrel of a shotgun all that appealing. What if the shot doesn’t end me and then what? More pain because of the excessive damage, as if feeling my body rotting away into oblivion wasn’t bad enough.
I haven’t got a clue as to how or why I died the first time, nor do I recall what I was doing during my expiration time from this Earth. It was like waking up from a dark place and not knowing anything other than I was hungry enough to eat the whole population of the world. I have no answers on whether there’s a Heaven or Hell, but right here and in this moment, I’d say this qualifies as a living hell. I wonder if the ones who brought about this apocalypse have been eaten yet or if they’re cowering in some underground man-cave. I’d gladly turn them all into zombies just so they could feel my pain and know that this isn’t the life anyone should experience.
Oh well, I guess lamenting is my new pastime now when I’m not actively hunting for my fast food fix. Walking around the corner of a large brick building, I saw a small group of people huddled together with their backs to each other in a circular formation. Each one was well armed with multiple guns strapped to their bodies, but they chose to use either baseball bats or machetes. The way they were dressed was similar: motorcycle helmets, leather jackets with Kevlar vests underneath it. On their legs and arms were pieces of old tires that had been cut and attached, creating bite free protection. I know because I watched one of the humans stick their arm out to have it intentionally bitten and then they used it as a way to stab the zombie in the brain box, poor soul. At their feet were the slain bodies of my brothers and sister with their heads either smashed into a nasty jelly or decapitated.
The group consisted of four men and two women, all fierce and focused on slaughtering my family. All this deadly action stirred the hunger within me at the thought of a challenging meal or meals. Why does this have to happen now, I was so enjoying being pain free. An unearthly growl immerged from the depths of…somewhere in me, hey like I know how this stuff works. I’m dead thing that used to pass as guy, not a genius! I felt my body move towards the group of zombie heroes and I secretly prayed that one of these two-legged happy meals would deal me a death blow.
I could sense their grim determination and fierceness as they pommel by brothers and sisters, grunting as they swing away like professional sports players. Why must I be forced into this? I know I love the ooey gooey taste of a well prepared, creamy, cranial center of a human lollipop, but I’d prefer a choice in the matter. Not just randomly go zombie shit and eat the first person on sight! I got feelings you know and I’m feeling pissed so….I guess I’m going to be emotionally eating my way to happiness. One of the humans got bold and on a roll as he swung for the fences and pushed himself further from the pack.
“Jimmy! Get back in formation, you ass!” A female scolded.
“Relax Mary, I know what I’m doing.” the wanna-be superhero retorted. “They’re only zombies! It’s not like they have any intelligence or anything.”
“You’re ruining the plan and the safety of the group, get back in line NOW!”
Have I mentioned that I’m sensitive about people saying mean and disparaging things about me and my rotting extended family? I believe I will show Conan the zombie slayer who’s got the brains, like I will have his barbaric brain in my belly. As the one known as Jimmy cracked another skull, his malicious gaze fell upon me. Is-is he drooling? I thought I looked hideous when I got hungry. Hmm, I wonder what unhinged brain taste like. Jimmy twirled his aluminum bat like it was a samurai sword as he stalked closer to me. Man does he look…delicious, I gotta sink my incisors into that cranium…that’s protected by a motorcycle helmet.
Well that maybe an issue but man it would be like digging for a sweet treat. Gray matter treasure! I can feel the nasty saliva pouring from my quivering mouth in anticipation. Come here my sweet, bipedal nom nom, come to Rob! Jimmy growled, which was strange to hear and comprehend, as he swung his bat at me with both hands on the handle. It would’ve hit me but another zombie’s head collided with the barrel of the bat. Never fear for I shall avenge you for your selfless sacrifice.
“Quite fooling around Jimmy and get back here and plug the hole you left.” A female voice commanded with irritation.
“I’ll plug those holes of your later if you’re lucky, Sara.” Jimmy replied with all the confidence of a man that had clout and knew it too.
“You’re a disgusting pig! You won’t get anywhere near my body let alone seeing it!” Sara growled as she murdered another zombie, probably wishing it was Jimmy.
“Sweetheart, this is the apocalypse. I can do whatever I want to whomever I wish!” Jimmy snarled as he reared back his bat, “If I want you, I WILL take you and there’s nothing you can do about it! You better keep your doors locked if you plan on running that pretty little mouth of yours!”
“We make it out of this alive and you won’t have a chance to back those words up!”
“Really?” Jimmy chuckled, “Let me demonstrate what I will do if you fought me on this piece of shit, it does favor you in looks.”
“Fuck you!”
That was a mean thing to say to her, although in a way he was saying that I was pretty so I guess that cancels out some of his rudeness. Maybe I should strip so he can see how pretty I am. I shuffled and staggered as I moved with my arms up deflect and grab my food, trying to time Jimmy’s attack all the while I was chanting in my head, “Swing batter, batter, batter.” Jimmy dropped the barrel of the down at my head like a hammer. I shifted slightly to my left and it was just enough for me to dodge the blow and grip Jimmy’s tire bite guard firmly. While he was stunned, I grasped onto his helmet and ripped it off his head with my superior zombie strength. The strap violently snapped away, causing Jimmy to howl in pain. Surprise motherfucker!
“Ah, someone help me!” Jimmy pleaded but the others were being harassed by more zombies and didn’t have a clear path to us. I let Jimmy’s helmet drop to the ground as I pulled him to my greedy mouth, ready to eat and enjoy my succulent prize. I heard one of the ladies gasp as I hissed out my favorite words in the whole wide world.
“BRAINSSSS!”
“Son of a bitch, it got Jimmy!” one of the other men cried out before he got tackled to the ground. The group was beginning to be overrun by more zombies than they could handle but I didn’t care because me and Jimmy were about to become intimately acquainted. I bit down on the top of his cranium and was met with that familiar pop and crunch that only a skull could create. Ah, music to my rotting ears! His brain was flooded with an excessive amount of testosterone, which I suppose that explains his He-man dick attitude, and the hint of stress and fear mix in made for an interesting treat. As I greedily munched away I heard screams of pain and someone shouting, but it was different because of crying and anguish.
I suppose she loved this dickless moron after all to be wailing like a banshee filled with hate? This change of emotions caught my zombie senses as the woman’s pheromones were oozing out with each passing moment. I looked up at the woman as I pulled away with another mouthful of brain and saw her eyeing me as she struck down another zombie. There was something about her that made me pause and watch her intently as she gazed upon me with teary eyes. The circle of friends she had was broken and each person was fending for their own life as more zombies closed in. The woman stared at me, her lips quivering like she was about to lose her shit on me. What are you going to do, cry me to death?
Yes, I ate your boyfriend here and he’s delicious! Maybe I should offer her a piece. It might make her happy to eat her boyfriend one last time. Time seemed to stand still between the two of us so I did the only thing I could do, went back to eating. Was the woman in shock or something? The man was a dick, lady, I’m doing you a real solid by ridding you of him in the best way possible. In my stomach! Jimmy is dying for a good cause, to satisfy the hunger so it’s win-win if you ask me. I wasn’t going to attack her because I had more control over myself now that the hunger had gotten what it wanted.
“No…This can’t be!” the woman emotionally babbled out as she swung her machete and killed another zombie, “This is fair! Oh my God, why?”
Umm, was she talking to me or simply cracking under the stress of zombie survival boot camp? I don’t know why but I actually reached into the cranial cavity I made and pinched off a piece of brain…and offered it to the woman. The woman crinkled her nose in disgust and began crying as she reared her machete back as she approached. Oh well, more for me then so I crammed it into my overstuffed mouth.
“Sara! We got to go now!” a male voice rang out in panic, “They’re swarming all around us! Sara? Sara! Arghhhhhh!”
“I won’t let you live like this!” the blurted out, still sobbing, “I’ll be damned if I will allow my husband to be one of the undead forever!”
Ah I get it, I ate her husband and now she plans on making sure he doesn’t rise up and go on a brain-eating binge. Sorry to break your pretty little heart Sara, but once the brain has been consumed there’s no coming back. So if you wish to join him in the pit of my stomach, then by all means keep approaching and I will grant your last dying wish.
“Bitch run!” Mary screamed as she fled, “Jimmy is dead so move your boney ass or you will be next!”
I stood up and let Jimmy drop like a cerebrally challenged happy meal on the ground as I silently gazed at Sara, wondering why I wasn’t moving towards her. I had full function of my body once again because of Jimmy but still I did nothing. Don’t get me wrong, Sara did possess an attractive body that I could literally dine on for hours and was currently looking to kill me and chop up Jimmy so he wouldn’t return, but why did I refuse to move on her? I guess because I felt she deserved her vengeance on the one who just ate her man, who was quite delicious. I wish that she would take that into account. Hell she married the creep so she must have found him yummy too…though it had to be buried under a lot of bullshit to be found. Oh well, I suppose it’s time to pay the piper once more and I pray that this lovely, blubbering piece of cuteness will do me the honor and send me back to my slumber.
Sara slowly lifted her arm and to my surprise, she caressed my rotted cheek. What did I do? Nothing! I stood there like a shy school boy being touched for the first time by the hottest girl in the world. I was frozen in place and I didn’t try to bite the woman. I’m pretty that I was like this in my life before death, socially awkward and hardly a ladies’ man and being dead didn’t help change my status now. I watched her body intently as she cried a river of sorrow in front of me. If this is your idea of killing zombies Sara, then you suck at it. You don’t pet them then kill them, that’s just rude and cruel but even with her behaving like this, I still made no move on her.
My zombie senses detected sadness and hatred, but for some reason the sadness was far stronger than anything else she was producing. I couldn’t help but gaze down at her body, what can I say, I’m a dead pervert. Her breathing was coming in short spurts, causing her ample breast to slightly bounce under her vest. I got the sense of longing as I reached up and put my blood covered hand over her heart and still I did nothing. I didn’t grab her or attack her like I did with Jimmy. I simply stood there groping her heavily armored breast and for some reason, this felt right and she didn’t flinch at all.
“It is you!” Sara said with surprise, “Robert! I can’t believe you’ve become a zombie too! I knew I should’ve had you cremated, but I…SHIT!”
Several of my brothers had grabbed her from behind and were gnawing on her bite gear as she struggled to be free from their grasp. I can’t say why but my hunger came back in full force and I used the super strength it gave me and I punched a hole through both of those zombie skulls like their heads were made of paper. Sara staggered back for a moment, stunned and shocked by my action and then I pointed away from us and said, “RUUUUUNNNNN…” Sara bolted just as a medium size horde of my brothers and sisters came from behind me, looking to eat her soft and juicy brain. A brain couldn’t touch for some reason. As she ran for a small office building nearby, I heard Sara’s voice cry out with determination, “I swear to you Rob, I will fix this! I will hunt you down and give you the mercy you deserve! I won’t have my lover walking amongst the dead forever! I love you too much to see you like this!”