Overdone and overreaction complicated our world. It was the ordinary life of Kian’s people-centered organization, which means the line between personal feelings and work matters were blurred.

With days went by, this “over-something” environment added weights on one’s shoulders and heart. The mental burden was bigger than the actual workload. While staff at this place were given too much leeway to speak, think and behave, the absence of discipline also brought along never-ending problems of cooperation, smooth communications and efficient outcomes.

When a person needed to concentrate on shuffling off irritations due to the human-centric approach from all sides, it was energy-draining. A dysfunctional coming and going process for staff meant finding scapegoats for mistakes. There was one time Kian was caught in the middle of the general employees versus the top management debate because of polarized opinions on a political issue. It was the first time he witnessed the powerlessness of the bosses when dealing with the cacophony of the restless bunch.

In the end, a couple of directors bursted out at the town hall meeting and they became the target of criticisms regardless of tireless explanation on the long-time organizational principles. The low EQ of certain top people was apologetic, while the damage was done. Neat administration, accustomed authority and the rules of the game were not in the playbook. Who got the louder voice, who won. There weren’t civilized exchanges of different views with the understanding of compromise, let alone decent interactions throughout the entire process.

As a way to avoid going off the rail from the decentralized model that upheld the inclusion of every single noise, the only way of handling differences was to just allow their coexistence. This interesting situation brought Kian back to his MBA classes again: Were human beings rational all the time? The reality was perhaps most of us weren’t. Especially when some people held onto a number of ideologies, “living together with harmony” is a rather difficult phenomenon.

One time a good friend Kenneth told Kian that he couldn’t ask a bad performer, who wasn’t a team player with lousy reputations, to leave because of the politics between two executives. That staff became a pawn. Kenneth, getting stuck in the middle, had to make sure that he could make good use of this staff or otherwise he’d be seen as a middle manager who didn’t do his part to explore every opportunity to support. It wasn’t the usual logic that most people could get in a short time.

Besides, some colleagues must find a way to pick on someone who turned in the above-average work. All in all, steering through the harshness and carving out a peace corner to get the business done was a survival tactic. Life grew too complicated when one had to deal with frequent thorny tasks. Monthly salary wasn’t an adequate reason to keep a person staying in this environment.

Kian was in the midst of finding a justifiable meaning for his current life. Facing the ceaseless conflicts between the weak ones in the above and the hostile folks below, the only exit was to let the latter be until they made the voluntary decision to quit. It was going to be a lengthy process. Some insiders, who were more eligible, wouldn’t last and resign quicker than the unqualified fellows. The scenario with 70% unprofessional and 30% effective workmates was common, which reinforced the vicious cycle of the high turnover rate.

Creating a balanced and healthy ecology was the mission of the high-positioned executives but it was easier said than done. Among all fiascos, Kian couldn’t stop thinking about the concept of fairness. He came to another soul-searching of his life. He didn’t feel that he was getting an appropriate treatment, while there must be moments that someone found impartiality and just but the others didn’t. Would he adapt to the perpetual discharge of staff? Could he stand with mediocrity that he had to deal with day-to-day?

This circumstance led Kian to review his usual pattern when confronting an unfavorable environment. He used to stretch the limit too much with a hope to get better results, which put him under duress and unease. The deep fear inside proliferated. He wasn’t the type that cared how others looked at him. It was the bar of perfection that an achiever like him ushered so hard. A trying mental test was lying raw before him.

Taking our work as a part of personal growth was a bit heavy. That’s why people usually lowered the requirements to “getting something to do for the exchange of a stable salary”. For Kian, maybe he treated his life with too much seriousness, a job was about happiness although making ends meet was always crucial to 99% of us. Everybody deserved to get both at the same time.

On the other hand, he knew that the problem of governance at this organization wouldn’t be corrected down to the root. Every structure had unresolvable issues.

How would he develop the stamina with this hardship was the question he had to give himself an answer.

Next Chapter: Chapter 6 Sycophant