The cab dropped Zoe off outside the front door of the pub five minutes before the informer was due to arrive. Inside she went straight to the bar and ordered a beer as a prop before glancing at Tan and Bill at a corner table. The pair were carefully complying with Tan’s order to avoid letting anyone suspect she had a security team. She sat at a table three away from an animated Tan going hell for leather in the face of a wide eyed Bill and quickly concluded the security team would be unlikely to notice Jack the Ripper at work on her. Thirty minutes past the expected arrival of ‘deep tonsils,’ a code word assigned by Tan, and with her beer bubbles less than lively she looked at Tan hoping to attract her attention.  No such luck. The mouth was travelling at NASCAR pace, focused on a now gaping Bill.   A tap on Zoe’s shoulder made her look around at a young man. “Zoe?”

“Yes, have a seat. Please.” He placed an envelope on the table and left. It was quickly opened, read and placed in her jean’s pocket. She stood up and saw Tan moving towards her, nose in the air. As she went past she grabbed her. “Where are you going?”

“To get another round. I don’t know you, remember?”

“He’s been and gone. He left details.”

“Really. Shit. Well, Bill’s sure a useless guard. Are you drinking?”

“Get me a Riesling please.” Zoe sat with Bill and asked, “Sore ears eh?” He chuckled. “She sure can tell a tale or two. Great entertainment. I gather that guy that blew in and disappeared was our man?”

“Correct. Please don’t let Tan bully you into staying. If you need to go home we can go.”

“I decide when I need to go. I’m a man. Right?”

“I agree. So what time did the boss give you a leave pass till?” He smiled. “It would be sensible to be home by ten. As a stay at home dad I need to be on the ball. And my lovely wife’s sister who is a prosecutor in the DA’s office would surely have me locked up on a fabricated charge if I misbehave.” Tan arrived with the drinks. “That’s the house white Zoe, best they can do. Spill please.”

“Not much to spill, disappointing really. The main dirt related to an allegation Manhattan made his money through importing drugs.”

“That’s it?” said Tan. “Hardly original, didn’t every mogul get a kick start though drugs? So is this all going to be made public soon?”

“I think so.”

“Then give me the guts. Bill’s going to know anyway. By the way your neck has turned patchy red, it does that when you tell porkies.” Tan watched her tremble slightly and her eyes well up. She took Zoe’s hand. “Sorry, stupid me. Leave it.”

“No, I’ll tell you.” She downed half her wine. “It’s horrible. Someone has complained he assaulted them. Underage. Physically and sexually. The police are taking it seriously.”

“Oh fuck,” said Tan.

“Exactly,” said Zoe. “Even if it’s untrue that’s big trouble.  I can’t believe it.”

“Was it someone that worked for him?” said Tan. Zoe sighed deeply, “No. It was a schoolgirl. Sorry, I’m being silly.”

“No you’re not,” said Tan. “Look, I might have mentioned to Bill you like the guy heaps so he does understand why it’s so upsetting.”

“Well known people cop more shit than most,” said Bill. “Making false allegations does happen.”

“Thanks Bill,” said Zoe. “Let me try and forget for tonight. How about telling me how you managed to get a leave pass? Tan did tell me but she’s prone to fairy tales sometimes.” He looked at Tan, she shrugged her shoulders then beckoned him to speak. “I  told my wife  that Zoe was likely to hear terrible news and Tan was extremely worried she might…..feel bad. She wanted me to come along and help out, maybe.”

“Thank you. I’ll buy you one for the road Bill.” Bill waited for her to reach the bar before whispering to Tan, “I think she really is upset.”

“Yep, and a fair to middling chance she will collapse tonight. She’s got that I’m gonna get as pissed as a fart look.” Two hours later Tan’s prescience bore fruit when a taxi full of singers rolled up in Bill’s driveway and Zoe rolled out, ending on all fours on the concrete. Bill ignored the outline in his living room window and applied a fireman’s lift to the giggling creature and kindly deposited her in her bed. He debated whether to go home or flee to Mexico. Tan persuaded him to face the music by lying through his  teeth and having successfully coached him and guided him out of the front door she slumped on the sofa and turned the TV on. A minute later she was asleep, managing thirty minutes before the phone rang. She woke with a jolt and answered it on the fifth ring. “Sorry I can’t take your call because I live in the real world where it is nearly midnight so please leave a message unless you’re Jack which in that case you can rack off, don’t want to hear your whine thank you.”

“I have you on speaker Tan so go easy on the language, my granddaughter is with me.”

“Get real. Hi Liz, how many swear words do you know?”

“All of them.”

“Tell me one.”

“Jackass.” She giggled, Tan joined in. “That is so rude, your grandpa has huge big ears.”  

“Big ears haven’t been much help tonight. I’ve been worried not hearing anything from Zoe.”

“Sorry, it was awful for her, we all drank too much. I’ll have to be circumspect but I’ll send you a copy of what we got which the cop dropped on her lap and ran. In brief a young lady incapable of legal consent was taken advantage of in a non-consensual manner and the matter is being treated seriously. Zoe will try and talk to Manhattan tomorrow.  He told her he was going to Cuba.”

“Thanks.  Ask her to contact him asap and give me a call tomorrow. You can rack of now.”

“Thank you. Jackass! Poo! Bum! Big farter!” She delayed closing the phone, enjoying the near hysterical laughter of Liz.

Zoe found Tan at seven thirty am on the sofa with her head against the phone and gave her a good shaking. “I’ve made breakfast. Up.”

“No.”

“Ok, I’m off soon. Back late afternoon.”

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

“I rang you before I got in the shower and we discussed plans.” Zoe grabbed the phone. “I’m sure you can find evidence of my call in this instrument covered in dribble.” Tan rose, snatched her phone and headed for the door. “Give me five, I’m coming.”

Thirty minutes later they set off with Zoe driving and Tan talking. “This is an absolutely stupid idea, if we do find the girl or her mother do you think they’ll say anything and of course as one of us happens to be a very special friend of the alleged culprit we could be charged with interfering with a witness. I suppose I’d be ok as I’d do a deal and dob you in. Shit I talk crap don’t I so where are we going again? Maywood, right. I’ll navigate.” She patted Zoe’s shoulder. “Sorry about crapping on you, it just slipped out, deliberately. Do you know what vegemite was first called?”

“I do know you forced me to acquire a taste for it.”

“Yeah, now you hog it. Well, when it was developed a century ago its rival was the English marmite so the inventor called it Pawill. You know, ma might but pa will. Clever play on words.” Zoe glanced at Tan and gently shook her head, “How did you get around to that story Tan? Feral neurons?’

“Simple. Ma might, pa will and May would. Maywood the suburb. Surely you get it.”

“Yeah, hurts my brain connecting your dotty logic. Sorry I’m not concentrating too well today. Tell me why did they drop pawill as a name?”

“Guess they thought consumers would think they must be wankers using it.”

“And the eaters of it?”

 “Ditto, turn off at the next.”

“How about letting the phone tell me?”

“Relax, do you really want your life ruled by machines? One day they’ll direct us off cliffs, metaphorically speaking. Anyway it’s more fun this way.” The fun cost them some fifteen minutes in time according to Zoe. While mildly disputed by Tan she aggressively promoted the benefits of a tour of a top ten worst suburb in Los Angeles, a likely once in a lifetime experience. They stopped across the road from the address given and stared at the house in silence. Tan was first to speak. “It’s got two beds, one bath and it’s nine fifty square feet. Just a guess on my part. And my excellent memory. Last sold a year ago. Nothing else online.”

“I’m starting to have doubts about this.”

“I’m not, I now think we have no choice. Slight problem, we can’t bowl into the house and ask if they have a kid who was recently raped. Can we?” Zoe rolled her eyes and clammed up. “Ok, no need to get nasty, what’s say we start with door knocking the neighbours and see if we can find anything out. Do you know any Spanish?”

“Si. And gringo.”

“Good thinking kid! “Computer says ninety eight point seven per cent of Maywoodians are Hispanic.  And that the murder rate per one hundred thousand is zero. If we get slaughtered it will sure muck up the stats.  Come to think of it I reckon I could write up a rocking rant about how we need to send them all south, I mean if President Hoover could deport a million to Mexico surely Trump could beat him. It’s obvious that these Mexicans are really a time bomb, sneakily behaving themselves until boom! Yeah, that might get rid of those lying women, save us tracking them down.  Now, on a tangent….  Don’t pull that face please, I’m getting on to the serious bit. We’ll be talking to people including undocumented immigrants and that may be a bit of an issue for them even if they can understand us. We’ll also be asking them if they know a Jane James and Jenny James. I can’t imagine a mother called Jenny naming her daughter Jane. Sounds sus to me. Accordingly I now think we are wasting our time but that’s hardly unusual. Ready?”

“Si. Gringo.” Zoe put a hand on Tan’s shoulder. “You are aware you’re ranting? Please don’t put yourself under pressure. If you have any concern you can’t handle things then stop. Ok?”  Tan stared ahead for a few seconds before responding. “Ok. I’m right for now, promise.”

They split up, each taking a side of the street. Two hours later they had managed to meet ten people and twenty hostile dogs, with neither beast nor human able to assist. Tan suggested they ask at nearby stores on the basis people need to eat and smoke to survive. She made Zoe wait in the car while she went into the nearest convenience store. Fifteen minutes later she walked out with four heavy bags and a wide grin. Zoe wound down the window. “Good news?”       

“Sure is. I found that Mexican sauce I love and we won’t have to go to the mall this week.” She threw the bags in the back and got in. “I bought fresh rolls and ham for lunch. Am I giving you the shits?” Zoe nodded. “Thought so, lucky I can read people eh? That rules out me having one of the latest disorders, Asperger syndrome. Anyway that’s too common for me. Right, well the first thing that happened to me when I was dumped in this country before it was great again was asking at a gas station for directions. I hadn’t bought anything so this guy gives me an economics lecture. Which politely was along the lines of buy something first or fuck off. I immediately decided this new country wasn’t exactly great and badly needed a messiah. So blame me for what we got. Anyway, so when I got into the shop I took one look at the Hispanic looking owner and introduced myself as a new arrival in his wonderful new community and lashed out on the goodies. When I paid him he gave me a look like she must be a stupid bitch paying for all this overpriced convenient crap. You don’t mind me stretching this out for dramatic effect? Too bad anyway. So when I asked him if he knows our mother and daughter he gushes away. Under my brilliant cross examination I find out the daughter has bigly tits and looks a stunner. I did lead the witness on a bit, clever me. Ok, summary. He thinks he last saw them a couple of weeks ago and first saw them a couple of months ago. Apart from the bigly tits he mainly remembers the first time he met them when the mother asked for credit. That’s it. Oh, you owe me seventy bucks for the food. Let’s go.” Zoe patted the steering wheel then started the engine. “Go where?”

“The address. The guy told me they live just down the road.”

“You missed that bit. Seeing you’re so cocky right now you can go knock on their door.”

“What do I say? Me Tan, you Jane?” She gave Zoe a sassy smile, the car took off in a hurry. Outside the house they discussed tactics for ten minutes before Tan without warning muttered “Fuck it” and stormed to the door knocking three times before noticing the bell and pressing it. An elderly man opened the door. “Hello sir, I’m looking for Jenny and Jane, I’m told they were renting this place. They’re friends of mine.”

“A friend eh? In that case I’d like her address. She owes me money. Left the place in a mess.”

“I suppose I should tell you I didn’t want to tell you the truth in case she was a friend of yours. You see my cousin in the car, she needs a liver transplant and this despicable woman took all the money she needed. It’s awful.”  He looked at the car and shook his head. “That’s terrible. Where are you from?”

“I’m Australian, I’ve come here to help my cuz out, she’s not very clever. She’s American,”

“Drink finish off her liver?” Tan shrugged. “I love her, I really wouldn’t want to speak out of school. She does like a drink.”

“Australian eh? Socialist government down there, free liver transplants.”

She nodded vigorously. “Exactly. But I reckon by the time I need a new one I’d have paid enough liquor taxes to pay for three.” He snorted. “Did you know Hilary Clinton tried to pull that one on us?”

“No! Oh that terrible woman.”

“A fine piece of ass mind you. No brains though.”

“Too right. Could you give me an idea what they look like? Just so I can make sure I have the right women.”

“I can do better than that, got video of them. Come in.”

Forty five minutes later Zoe was awoken by Tan slamming the door. “You’re alive.  I started to think you may have been murdered. Then I went to sleep while wondering whether to ring the cops.”

“That’s ok, you meant well. Next time try locking the door before you nod off.”

“Go on, what happened?”

“You wouldn’t believe it, the first time I’ve ever had a decent cup of tea in this country. Twinings, loose leaf made in a pot. And you wouldn’t believe it but he gave me fresh scones out of the oven. Why are you closing your eyes?”

“I thought I may as well go back to sleep.”

“Ok no more silliness. He knows them, he went away on holidays and gave them a short term rental. Did it privately online which wasn’t very smart and the fact they were two tarts probably swayed him. Let’s go.”  Zoe took off slowly. “Mind telling me if we are any wiser as to finding them?”

“I’m not sure but video of them might help. I’ve got about twenty seconds of fairly clear stuff, nicely edited by the old boy.”

“Great! How did he get it?”

“Not sure but if you ever rent a house from him it might be wise to wear a wetsuit in the shower.”

“You’re kidding!”

“Maybe, but the heads look a bit steamy and wet. Not that easy to make them out. Now we need to find out how good facial recognition is.”

“What’s your guess as to their ethnicity?”

“Both of them look like their dad could be Fidel Castro without the whiskers, well the old one anyway. Neither are exactly stunners though and the kid does look young.” A sigh came from Zoe.

Back home they spent several minutes in the office viewing and replaying the video and then less time debating how they would go about using facial recognition, with Zoe readily agreeing with Tan’s assessment they were both Luddites. The agreed solution was to dump the task in Jack’s lap.

Zoe resolved to confront Manhattan over the alleged rape after a pep talk from Tan, however her attempts to reach him that night and again the following morning failed. Tan helpfully pointed out after each failure she appeared relieved she did not have to dredge up a scintilla of inner strength and pop the question. By mid-afternoon Zoe declared she was back to normal and available to assist Tan in her day job and offered a litany of apologies for what Tan took as excuses for her temporary insanity. “You could help by reading the crap I’ve written and make it readable. And Zoe, I don’t mind if you check the facts. You might also give me a few tips on defamation law, specially relating to whether Supreme Court Justices have ever sued for defamation for something allegedly done before they hit the bench. Actually it’s probably more important to find out whether they could just haul us in and have us locked up without a trial.”

“Us?” said Zoe with a snort. “Of course,” said Tan, “I couldn’t leave you off the credits.”

“That’s nice of you. I’m not going to ring him again, at least not more than one final attempt.” Tan raised her eyebrows. “That’s nice to know. Gee you went a whole nanosecond without mentioning him. Well done.”

“Tell me Tan, is it genetic or environmental that’s responsible for making people down under so downright sarcastic and cynical?”

“Neither. It’s just everyone up top talks shit and we down under cop the spillage and end up eating your shit so we do tend to see the world differently to you.” Zoe pulled a face. “Honestly Tan, I never thought of that, so that explains why you all spit out crap all your lives. Oh look at your screen, bet that Jack’s trying to reach you. No time for a sarcastic response.” Tan’s screen was filled with an office tower with the Sydney Opera House in the background. Atop the tower was a King Kong sized turd. “Hello darling Jack. Hang on, can’t see you yet. I’m looking at my new screen saver, I’ve got your doppelganger on your roof. Ah there’s your pretty face. Now you’re pretty dumb so you probably have no idea you don’t need a screensaver for an LCD screen but I have one simply because it makes me feel good looking at your lovely face with the deep brown Bondi tan. It’s almost drinkies time, be quick.”

“Sure, good news. You’re off to Florida tomorrow, a guy has helpful dirt. I’ve got you booked in for ten am so you don’t bitch about getting up early. I’ll send you details. And a bit of helpful info. Our cop friend doesn’t know where the women are, he’s now out of the loop.”

“Did you get someone to try facial recognition?”

“Yeah. They entered their names and found close resemblances on Facebook. Amazing. They’re real names. Or real fake names they use online. I won’t tell you what they said re time wasters.”

“You tell them Zoe sends her profuse apologies.”

“Sure. I’ll send you more detail later rather than take up your valuable time.”

“Clever boy. You know the dodderier you get the clearer in the head you get.”

“Someone has to. Cheers.”

“Hang on. Rude prick.” She turned to Zoe and pulled a face. “I wanted to shit on him for making me go to Florida.”

“What? You like getting out of here.”

“Yeah, but that was non-consensual. No prior discussion. If I let him start making travel decisions unilaterally I’ll end up on the first flight to Mars. Porch time, I’ll get the drinks?” Zoe stared at Tan, very slowly shaking her head. At the door Tan turned and grinned. “Ok, fuck you, I’d love to go to Mars, but you know what I was trying to get at.”  Zoe continued to shake her head and received the finger.

They sat on the porch in silence and looked across the street. Thirty five seconds later Tan announced, “You win. He’s earlier today.”

“How does he know we’re out here so quickly? Maybe he just might have motion detection on the camera.”

“I’ve told you woman, he knows a couple of piss tanks usually end up on the porch around five. He’s going to be mightily pissed off when we go on a health kick next week.”

“Hate to say it but you may be right.” They both smiled at Bill’s son as he reached the porch and walked inside without looking at them. “How does a kid that age manage to kick the ball over the fence?” said Tan. “Let alone five times in one hour. Hey, put your phone away, we agreed to give him a miss today.”

“I’m just checking my alerts for him. Hell, twice as many as yesterday.”

“Yeah and mainly click baiters I bet.”

“Listen to this. Where is Michael Manhattan? The wally was due to announce his decision to run for the US Senate two weeks and his office is refusing to disclose his whereabouts, The last known sighting was Michael having a chat with the Los Angeles constabulary, presumably and hopefully it was regarding charitable fund raising for the force. Uninformed sources suggest he is holidaying in an exotic tropical location. That’s the full story.”

“What wanker made that up?”

“Casandra Junior, a UK blogger and renowned nobody. He’s not fake, just the crap he puts out. He seems well informed.”  Bill’s son returned with the ball and stood in front of Tan. “Thank you Tan for letting me get my ball.”

“A pleasure and there’s need to thank me every time. I tell you what I’ll find the key to the side gate and you can get in any time.”

“Thank you Tan. Goodbye.”

“He runs well,” said Tan. “Smart kid too, he knows who’s boss in this house.”

“My thought too. His mother probably told him to be nice to Tan as she’s the one that can be very nasty.” Tan nodded. “You’re so bloody insightful, pisses me off. Ok, to business. I’m getting you documentaries from Australia’s ABC Four Corners on the shenanigans in Malaysia where billions went missing from the Government piggybank.”

“Give me a sum-up.”

“Yeah well make sure you look at it. Najib Razak the then PM gets some three quarters of a billion dollars from a Saudi prince, it’s put into his own bank account. I loved that, he’s so confident of his position he doesn’t even try and hide it. And what’s his excuse? It was a gift. Wow, the democratically elected head of a country gets a nice present that allegedly was once in Malaysia’s investment bank, and then did a bit of a circuit. Incredibly, Najib’s party after decades in power loses the election and Mahatir, the previous Prime Minister who’s ninety two becomes the new PM but he says he’s only keeping the seat warm until Anwar Ibrahim the real opposition party leader can take over.  Anwar’s problem is he was plonked in prison in 2015 for sodomy and he only gets out when Mahathir asks the King to pardon him. Now you have to wonder about Anwar, he’d buggered up his life before, like back in 1999 when he was jailed for sodomy the first time and served five years. He evidence consisted of his loyal driver saying I let him bugger me. The then PM Mahathir his now best buddy called him a homosexual before he was locked up and Anwar sued for defamation and I can go on and on with him winning appeals time and time again and then losing them time and time again but the poor guy who threatens to remove the establishment from decades of power eventually is fixed up nicely. The whole sorry two decades of his life locked up or in court on trumped up charges is unbelievable. And he is resurrected like Mandela, with the guy who was in charge when he buggered up the first time now his means of becoming leader. Why are you frowning?”

“I’m not, and apart from being a bit confused over the so called sum-up you gave I’m thinking how awful. And maybe I can’t see a huge relevance. The money allegedly stolen in China is much bigger in size and there’s no evidence the top brass in China are implicated.” Tan topped up their glasses and sighed. “Why am I always surrounded by idiots, it’s the bane of my life. Try this peanut brain. My apologies. Anwar the bugger in Malaysia cops it because he was screaming out corruption. So what do you think anyone digging in China might cop?” Tan waited until Bill’s son returned and went inside before continuing. “The other thing is the money seems to have gone to quite a few places but it’s likely a little bit, like a measly few billion has ended up helping make America greater. Some in politician’s pockets. You know I probably wouldn’t have believed this China tale was ever anything but a fantasy unless I had personally experienced the impact of the corruption in Malaysia which has far more checks and balances than China, transparent ones anyway. Want me to tell you the sad tale of poor little Tanami versus the devil?” Zoe smiled and leaned forward. “Sure, am I looking eager enough?”

“Not really but who cares. I like listening to myself when I sound like I know what I’m talking about. I’ll set the scene. A young future Pulitzer Prize winner is whisked off to Malaysia by a rich hunk for two days in KL which for an American that’s Kuala Lumpur the capital, then two weeks in paradise, a private tropical island. She reads about Anwar and how he was so badly done by, he’s the one who’s been buggered metaphorically speaking and she’s disgusted so at the airport on the way out when she sees Najib the Malaysian PM she naturally questions him about this heinous miscarriage of justice.”

“As you do. So you screamed abuse at him and got locked up?”

“Crap, I was exceedingly polite. Just a bit full. I’m not sure he even heard me but a cop grabbed me and said I had to stop. I might have said fuck you pig and he lays a hand on me, it’s assault so I push the unstable creep and he falls over. I’m brutally manhandled and chucked in a cell waiting for my rich hunk to bail me out, me the woman he obviously adores. But, sadly he had flown out and never seen again.”

“That is sad. So what did you get, life?”

“Two weeks before I got out, I was lucky my new boss believed I was innocent and also knew our Foreign Minister. It was dear Jack. I was pissed off with him for refusing to ask the Foreign Minister to ban the rich hunk from entering Australia or at least have him shot. Oh hello, you took a long time to find your ball.” Tommy stood still in front of Tan, his eyes riveted to the floor. “The ball broke the window in the bedroom. I think I’m sorry.”

“Long as it was Zoe’s I don’t mind.”

“You’ll have to get it fixed I think. Goodbye.”

“See you soon,” said Tan. “So where were we?”

“In a state of sadness, my bedroom is the only one that he could hit.”

“True, but that’s hardly a matter on my radar. I do however suggest you pop over and ask Bill to stop kicking so hard and get a window man in to fix it. You’d have to be thick as a brick to think a kid his size could kick it hard enough to break a window.”

“You’re totally unfair. You know I’m thick when it comes to sport. Not like Tanami the global expert on everything. Look, can we stop the crap and talk about what this meeting is about in Florida?”

 “The same as we were told ages ago, no change. The guy is supposed to have dirt on some mongrel that is linked to the China fraud and more importantly may have something to do with funding American politicians and just maybe a trickle has reached Manhattan which I suspect is the only reason for the meeting.” Zoe sighed deeply. “Tan! You know what I mean. Why are you specifically meeting him and why can’t he just talk on the phone?  Or send the info seeing he doesn’t appear to be asking for anything in return?”

“I’ve no idea. Jack muttered something about the guy had read some crap I’d written and he insisted on meeting me in person.”

“Oh great, you meet and he turns out to be a nutter obsessed with you. Get a bodyguard please. They can be inconspicuous and Jack is sure to give the ok.”

“You know what? I’m suddenly a scaredy cat. Thank you, I’m sure I would have thought of a minder as I shook hands with the serial killer. Here comes someone who would look the part of a bodyguard, not much else probably.” Bill cocked his ear as he walked down the path. “Afternoon ladies.” He stood over Tan, arms folded. “I couldn’t quite discern whether you were emitting personal abuse or heavy praise.”

“I’d prefer to think of it as faint praise. Like a drink?”

“Love one but my boy is teaching me how to kick a ball. I’ll fix up the hole in the fence on the weekend. Ok if I go through? My helper has gone on strike, refuses to be my retriever.”

“You wouldn’t know of any big ugly bastard in Miami?” said Tan. “I need a bodyguard for the day.  Paid job and no guns, but they should be able to make someone shit themselves with a glare.”

“You’re in luck, my first wife lives there.” The women laughed. “That isn’t a joke ladies. I’ll see what I can do.”

Next Chapter: Chapter SIX