The Bookworm
A harsh knock on my door makes me jump and drop my book.
“Damn.” I mutter while quickly picking it up, finding the page and folding the corner before tucking it under my pillow.
“Katherine. It is time to get up. We have a brunch to attend.” My father’s voice sounds from the other side of the door. I roll my eyes but don’t make a sound as I make my way to the door. I keep my head down as I open the door.
“Must I go?” I ask him. I see his fists clench and that’s all the answer I need. I quickly close the door again. I turn away from the door and sigh before making my way to my vanity to look at myself in the mirror. “Yes I suppose I must go.” I say to my reflection before sighing again and sitting on the bench and just staring at myself for a while. A soft knock sounds on my door and I turn around. “Come in.” I answer. The door slowly opens to reveal my mother. I smile and she smiles back at me.
“I’ve come to help you get ready.” She tells me quietly. She walks over to my wardrobe and starts looking through all of my dresses. I frown and nod before turning back around to my vanity and taking one more glance at myself in the mirror before standing up and walking to my bed to pull my book out from under my pillow. I sit down on the edge of my vanity and start reading again. The book is about a princess who is locked away in a tower and hoping for a happily ever after. I wonder if something like that really exists.
“Mother? May I ask you something?” I ask her. She looks at me with a smile and nods.
“Of course.” She tells me. I smile and take a deep breath before asking my question.
“Do you think there is such a thing as a happy ever after?” I ask her. She stiffens for a second before turning to me with a strained smile on her face.
“I don’t know but I am happy right where I am.” She tells me. She turns around with a floor length green dress in her hands. “Wear this.” She quietly orders me. She goes to take my book away and I smack her hand away.
“Don’t touch my book.” I growl at her. She gasps and jumps back from me. Tears start to form in her eyes but I don’t care, she was going to close it without saving the page. “I need to save the page so that I can know where I was reading.” I grumble before folding the corner of the page again and standing up. I rip the dress out of her arms and head to my bathroom to change. I stand in front of the mirror for a moment not really looking at myself, just staring at the glass until a knock on the bathroom door makes me jump.
“Yes?” I ask as I get ready to change. I can hear my mother’s soft crying from inside my room.
“Open this door, now.” My father says calmly. I lower my head before slowly opening it.
“What?” I ask trying not to snap at him. He holds my book up in front of my face.
“Have you been reading? Are you not happy with what you have here?” He questions me. I scoff at him and grab for the book but he throws it against the far wall. “Answer me!” He yells. I glare at him and stare straight into his eyes.
“What if I am not happy here? What will you do about it?” I ask him. Suddenly a sharp pain spreads through my cheek and my head snaps to the side from the force of his hit. My mother gasps and I feel a smile spread across my face as I look back up at my father. “I am happy, but that does not mean that I can’t be curious about what it means for someone to be happy.” I tell him as I cross my arms over my chest.
“Did you hit your mother?” He asks. I feel my eyes widen a bit and I look back at my mother before looking up at him again.
“Yes. I didn’t want to lose the page that I was reading and I smacked her hand away,” I explain to my father before turning to my mother, “I’m sorry.” I apologize to her but she just glares at me. My father glares down at me trying to be intimidating but it won’t be that easy for him.
“You hit your mother because of a book?” He clarifies. I nod but don’t say anything. He sighs. “This is why I wasn’t letting any of you read books in this house. You get crazy ideas in your head and then you start acting on them.” He comments. I feel my mouth fall open at this.
“My crazy ideas didn’t come from the books that I’ve read behind your back. Unlike mother, I can think for myself and what’s wrong with wanting something more. I’m nineteen years old, father, you should start treating me like I am.” I tell him before shoving past him and picking up my book to see the pages all folded in different directions and the front cover smashed. “That’s great. Just perfect. Thank you for ruining my book.” I growl at him before slamming it down on the vanity and turning to face him. “Is it such a problem that I want to be able to think for myself? Do you really feel the need to control every single part of my life? I mean I never even went to school like all of the other kids my age, you just told everyone you were homeschooling. Do you think those people are stupid? One look at mother and they would know that there’s no way that me or my siblings are getting any kind of education. I don’t want to live an unknowing life. I want to find my happiness in my own way.” I tell him. My mother gasps again and my father steps forward with a grim expression on his face.
“You’ve gone insane. I don’t need you pushing your crazy thoughts onto anyone else in this house. You are going to Greenborough even if I have to pay the doctor ahead of time to take you. They must be able to fix whatever it is that’s wrong with your mind.” He tells me. I feel my heart drop.
“So that’s how you deal with things that you can’t understand? You just toss them away? Is that what I am? A piece of trash, just because you don’t want me to live my own life?” I ask him. He nods and turns away from me. My legs give out and I fall to my knees. There’s no way that this is actually happening. “You can’t send me away like this, can you? There has to be some sort of process to go through or something. I did nothing wrong, there’s no reason for them to take me anyway.” I start talking out loud to myself.
“You really have gone mad. Now you’re talking to yourself.” My mother comments quietly. I glare up at her.
“I’m voicing my thoughts out loud. It’s what some people do when they get upset about something that’s about to change their lives drastically. Like me, I just figured out that my parents don’t love me enough to try and understand what I want so they’re about to send me away to an asylum where I’m supposed to magically be cured.” I tell her. She cowers away but then gets a thoughtful look on her face.
“Shouldn’t you be happy that we are caring enough to get you help?” She challenges me. I stand up again and walk over in front of her. I’m about two inches taller so I can kind of look down on her and I smile still with the dead look in my eyes.
“Oh yes. I’m so very grateful that you’re going to throw me into the nuthouse because I want to think for myself,” I laugh and then turn away from her before tears start to sting my eyes, “get out.” I grumble before walking over and laying on my bed. I cry myself back to sleep.
A harsh knock wakes me once again and I slowly sit up as my father walks into the room with two strong men behind him. I stare vacantly at the ground as they walk toward me and grab my arms roughly. They stop for a moment in front of my father as if I want to say something to him. I just glare at him as the man continue to carry me out of the house. The neighbors are all gathered to watch what’s going on and there a few gasps as they watch me getting pushed into the back of a police car. Once they let me go and I get situated in my seat I look back toward my house and see my mother standing in the front window crying while watching the car pull away. I shake my head as I turn back and stare down at my hands. The ride is about fifteen minutes and it almost feels freeing until I see the building we pull up in front of.
“This is Greenborough?” I ask. One of the men grunts in response as they park the car and get out. They walk to my door and open it both grabbing my arms before dragging me out of the car. The building appears to be crumbling in some places, there are vines growing up the side but they are dead which just adds to the creepy factor. The men drag me up to the front door and one of them lets go to open one of the doors while the other walks behind me and pushes me through. The inside is just as bad, dirt and dust are covering every surface, the walls are painted brown and peeling along the edges revealing a bluish color, there’s a sterile smell covering the smell of something that got burnt. The men push me up in front of a hand print covered window as I struggle not to puke from the overwhelming smell.
“She’s checking in.” One of the men says to the glass. I looked harder through the dirt and hand prints to see a nurse sitting on the other side.
“Name?” She asks.
“Katherine.” I answer quietly. She writes it down and then walks away with the folder only to appear at the end of the wall. She places the folder with my name on it in a plastic bin that’s hanging on the wall.
“Go ahead and take her to the ward. I’ll get her when it’s time to meet with the doctor.” She tells the two men. They push me down the hall. The first hall we walk down is pretty normal with only one or two doors which I’m assuming are a dining hall and common room. Then, they push me down halls that are full of numbered doors, the rooms are tiny here. The men pull me to a stop in front of a huge metal door that has the word ‘Isolation’ written across it.
“Why am I going to isolation? I didn’t do anything bad enough to put me in here.” I tell them. They ignore me and one of the men scans his card. A metallic buzzing noise sounds through the hall and the door slowly opens to reveal yet another hall. They push me through the door and into a room that holds an old tv, a ratty couch, a table and chair, and shelves full of books.
“There is another patient here. He’s probably back in his room right now but try not to get into any fights, he seems to have a short temper. The nurse will be back later to take you to the doctor.” One of the men tells me. I just nod at them and they take that as their cue to leave. I quickly make my way over to the bookshelves and start searching. I squeal when I find my book and I quickly pull it out and plop myself down at the table. I quickly find my spot and pick up reading again. After a few minutes I can feel someone staring at me.
“Can I help you?” I ask not looking up from my book. I hear some shuffling and then a shadow falls over the table.
“They didn’t tell me about a new patient. What got you landed in here?” He asks me. I lay my book down on its face so that I can look up at the boy. His appearance shocks me, he’s really thin and his eyes are sunken in a bit. He has curly brown hair that is a bit long and dark green eyes. Nothing about him tells that he has a bad temper.
“I got mad at my mom for closing my book without saving the page.” I tell him. His eyebrows furrow together in confusion.
“Your parents sent you here because you got mad?” He asks. I just nod with a sigh.
“What about you?” I ask him. He frowns in thought.
“I don’t know. One moment I was at home with my parents and the next I wake up here, locked in my room with no one around to answer my questions.” He tells me.
“Do the doctors know why you’re here?” I ask him. He shakes his head.
“What he told me sounds crazy and completely uncharacteristic of me. He said that I threatened to kill someone. I’ve never even thought about killing anyone before and now I’m really scared.” He explains. I nod in understanding.
“That’s crazy. So, um, what’s your name?” I ask. He smiles and holds out his hand.
“I’m Xavier.” I smile and shake his hand just as the door buzzes and footsteps start sounding down the hall.
“Katherine.” I tell him. He nods and turns to see the nurse standing there waiting for me. She’s watching Xavier with a cautious eye. He turns back to me with another smile.
“Well, it seems like it’s time for your meeting with the doctor.” He gets up from the table and moves over to the couch and the nurse approaches me quickly.
“It’s time to meet with the doctor.” She says quickly while grabbing my arm and dragging me out of the room. Once we are out of the ward she talks again. “You need to be careful around the boy, we don’t know what’s wrong with him and he is at an age where he has probably become very good at hiding whatever is wrong with him.” She warns me.
“It seems like no one actually knows what’s wrong with him. You’re all just running on assumptions and really making him isolated. Maybe he really will go insane, he probably started creating friends because he was so lonely in the ward.” I tell her. She scoffs and gives me a harsh shove.
“Don’t talk like you know anything. You’re in his same situation.” She tells me. I roll my eyes but otherwise keep my mouth shut as she leads me to a hall with only about six doors on it. She stops me at the first door and knocks quickly before stepping back. The door opens a minute later to reveal a disheveled looking man. He glares at us for a second before realizing that I am his new patient. His face instantly changes to a smile.
“Ah. Thank you, Darla. I will call you when she is ready to go back,” he dismisses the nurse and turns to me, “Please come in. Make yourself comfortable.” He tells me. I walk into his office and sit in the old chair that sits in front of his desk. Everything in his office is old except his nameplate which is a shiny gold and brand new. I sit at the very edge of my chair since the cushion is hard and not very comfortable to sit on. The doctor sits down in his rolling chair on the other side of the desk and takes a look at me before asking any questions. “How are you feeling today, Katherine?” He asks.
“Peachy. How much did my father pay you to take me away from my house?” I ask. His eyes widen a bit and he clears his throat.
“We don’t take bribes, Katherine. Your father called in a panic saying that you were having violent outbursts because of some books that you were reading and he was scared for your family’s safety.” He explains. I nod and bite my tongue with an annoyed smile on my face.
“Of course he said that. I didn’t get violent, I accidentally hit my mom when she closed my book without saving the page. That’s it, it’s the only time I’ve gotten violent. My father just doesn’t like the fact that I want to think for myself.” I tell him. He nods and takes down some notes.
“Why your father be mad about that?” He asks. I shrug my shoulders.
“I have no idea. He never sent me or my siblings to school. He kept us at home and had our mother teach us how to work around the house. She had no education either, she didn’t even get what I was talking about when I asked her about happily ever after. I don’t understand how she can be happy just working in the house and not knowing anything about the outside world. She only leaves when my father goes to events. And she’s never allowed to talk to people. I guess it’s a bad thing to not want that life.” I explain. He nods and takes down more notes.
“People are free to make their own choices but I think maybe we will keep you here for your own safety. Plus Xavier really needs a friend and you seem like a person that he could really hit it off with. I hope you have found the books in the ward to your satisfaction? Xavier told me that it was one of the things he did to steep his anger so I got a bunch of books just because I didn’t know what he likes to read.” He says.
“Yes. Actually I found the book that I was in the middle of reading.” I tell him. He nods.
“Good. Well, I don’t have anything else for right now. Let me call the nurse and she will take you back to the ward.” He tells me. He reaches for the phone on his desk and calls for the nurse. A knock sounds on the door about two minutes later and the doctor hands me over to the nurse. She guides me back through the maze of halls and up to the big metal door. The door opens and I don’t wait for her to shove me inside, I make a beeline straight for the table where I left my book. Xavier is sleeping on the couch, curled up with a teddy bear. I can’t help but smile at that as I sit down and pick my book up again. I think I may like it here.
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