Three
It has been six months. I can do this. It’s one night. Make your friends see that you are moving on. Geez, I need new friends. I got this. Smile, nod, and forget about him. He is history. I look like a slut but my hair looks amazing.
"Yes Jamie, I’m fine. I’m over it already." For the billionth time. "Let’s have fun tonight." If she asks me one more time I may shatter on the dance floor. The worst break-up of my life, now mid-terms. I want to forget my life right now. Smile Amanda or she’ll keep asking.
I can’t stand at this bar any longer or they may grill me again. Screw it, I’m dancing. I knew this would work. I’m glad they’re my friends. I know they love me. How would I manage without Jamie and Sherry?
"Let’s grab another drink, I’m hot. Did someone turn the heat up, this is excessive." Sherry leans over my shoulder to pose a question as a man approaches us.
"May I pay ladies?" what a cheesy line for adults but I laugh anyway. How did he catch me off guard? He smiles as he waves his hand for the bartender. He recites our drink order as if he has placed them before.
"Here’s your opportunity, are you ready for some strange?" Sherry drones in my ear as she hugs me. He turns and motions for us to grab a table. Ole my cheerios, I should have stayed home tonight.
As if I’m here to grab a random person and get some ’strange’. I should have known they would push me into this as a way to get over Kevin. I glance over my shoulder as he walks toward us. He is handsome though.
Luckily, he does most of the talking. I smile and nod, but I can barely hear him. I am enjoying the attention. Who wouldn’t after everything I have experienced this year? It is nice. Sherry and Jamie keep staring at us. Cat and the canary looks pass between them.
Finally, he asks me to dance. I would love to dance. It’s nice to feel his body on mine. He is warm and he has moves. The more we dance the warmer I feel. How many drinks have I had? Four, five, crap I can’t remember.
"I need to sit for a minute." I don’t want to leave but I feel drunk. Pull it together; it is the excitement, you’re not drunk yet. For the life of me, I can see their lips moving, but I can’t follow their conversation. Smile and nod, pull yourself together and have some fun.
"Let’s dance," finally falls out of my lips as he leads me to the floor. His hand is on my back making small circles as we dance. His eyes are amazing. He stops moving long enough to push my hair back from my shoulder as he grabs my head he leans in to kiss me.
My knees resemble pudding. Luckily he supports my weight as though he knew my knees would give out. This man is amazing. My hand finds his hair and I hold him to me making the kiss last. I need this so badly. I don’t want it, but I need it.
Somehow, I lost track of time. Sherry and Jamie are expressing their readiness to leave. Our gentleman caller heads to the bar to settle his tab while we talk. The music is bearable now so we don’t have to yell or be in each other’s ear to hear.
I feel odd and I don’t want to deal with their questions or pity right now. My best friends can at times, bring my depressions to the surface. I don’t want the third degree tonight or their pity.
"I will catch a ride with him." Squinting as I say this to them. I don’t know how they will react.
"Thank the devil," Sherry interjects.
"Be careful and have fun," Jamie squeals.
"I should ask him I guess. I wanted your reactions first."
Suddenly he slides his hand around my waist and smiles. "At your service, anywhere you want to go."
The cold air hits my face and I want to puke, but I have nothing in my stomach to release. I stumble as he again catches me before anyone notices. Perfect timing I suppose or he thinks I’m drunk.
He helps me in his car as I say night to my girls’. We don’t speak again after we pull out of the club lot. What should I say?
My eyes are shut, so why is it so bright? Has the sun moved over my bed? I crack them open like eggs on Sunday mornings. This isn’t my bedroom. I reach over and grab my coffee table. It’s ten. My head hurts so badly.
I have to get the aspirin from the bathroom. I’m so sore, why am I so sore. What did we do last night? I force my stiff body into a standing position almost falling from it. As I reach the sink in the bathroom, I grab the aspirin. I dump three in my hand and drink from the faucet to wash them down.
What the hell is this? My reflection shows the clothes covering my body. These aren’t mine. What the hell happened last night? I went to the club. I don’t remember much after that. I have to call Jamie.
Jamie’s phone hits voice mail so I call Sherry.
"Sherry?"
"Good morning, tramp,"
"What does that mean?"
"I’m only teasing, you have fun?"
"Remind me who, two?"
"The man you left with silly, you weren’t that drunk, girl."
"No, No I wasn’t. Sure, yeah we had a nice time; listen let me call you back."
"Ta Ta tramp."
What the hell did I do? I press end on my phone as I notice the light purple marks on my wrist. They don’t go all the way around. It’s on both my hands. I almost fall again as I run to the bathroom while the panic sets in.
Did I have sex? I don’t remember going home with anyone. These aren’t my clothes as I snatch off the oversize sweater and pants. I fall to the floor as I begin crying. What did I do? I sob as I try and picture last night in my head. Why can’t I remember?
How long have I been here? My stomach growls as I stand to turn on the shower. Tears streak my face again as I notice the same purple marks on the tops of my ankles. How could I have let this happen?
I sit in the hot water as I try to rub off the purple marks. What will people think? That I asked for this cause I let this happen. Sherry said I went home with a guy I didn’t know, this is my fault. What was I thinking? What have I done?