Four
Chapter Four
"I was twelve when I realized my mother didn’t love me. I should have known before then, but I always tried to make her love me. I use to think mothers have to love their child, right. I was wrong. She was a drunk who used me.
For as far back as I can remember she trained me to do as she said, even if I knew it was wrong. When you want love, none of that matters though. You try to appease them. You do whatever they want.
I was eight when her boyfriend stole my Santa Claus. After that night all magic was lost to me. Cinderella didn’t find a prince with that glass slipper. Instead, the glass slipper shattered as she ran for the ball. She ended up dead on the Cobble Stone drive.
I wasn’t supposed to play in my mom’s things. Don’t all little girl’s want to be their mother’s? To try on the pretty clothes and wear the same make up their beloved mother’s cake their faces with. I only wanted to be a little girl.
I tried on one of her many lacy push-up bras, it was much too big but I didn’t care. I had her silky robe draped over my much too small body. I was at her dressing table applying her make up when he came in.
That continued for years. I’m sure she knew. She couldn’t lose him over me, no matter right or wrong. So instead she drank and beat me. On my twelfth birthday that all changed. I wouldn’t let her hit me anymore.
I started running away. When they caught me, they’d take me home but, she would have a caseworker. They would do regular checkups to ensure I was all right. Therefore, she couldn’t hit me anymore.
I hated being on the streets but I hated being at home even more. I never turned tricks. I wasn’t using drugs, not my thing. Instead, I lived in my books. When I couldn’t get to the library I would steal them from other people or stores. I lived in every book I ever read.
I was fifteen sitting in the park on one of my times away from home when she first approached me. I was reading Gone with the Wind for the first time. She sat down next to me and struck up a conversation about Scarlet.
Her hair was a deep red and brown, a beautiful combination. I still wonder why she came to me that day. In my torn, dirty blue jeans and hoodie, a book shoved under my nose. Maybe she knew I needed her, I don’t know.
We met in the park every day for a week and talked the book. Our opinions would vary about different parts or points of view. We talked not argued. She and I debated the story line. On that seventh day, it was raining but we both showed up. It went from rain to an all-out downpour.
With no shelter at the park, she asked if I’d like to go back to her place. I didn’t see any harm in it. She was a female and she had been so nice to me. We had a lot in common. She couldn’t have been more than ten years older than me and I looked up to her in that week we hung out in the park.
It was a cozy little cottage. It was nicer than anything I had ever lived in. Only one bedroom but it was all hers. That day it became ours.
As she unlocked the door, both of us drenched and shivering, she asked if I’d like to shower and warm up. I was caught off guard but I was cold and I hadn’t showered in a while so I said yes. She led me to the bathroom so we didn’t drip all over her floors.
I thought she’d leave me there, she didn’t. Instead, she started taking her clothes off as well. I just stood there and watched. I wasn’t sure what I should do. Is she going to shower first, I mean it is her house and she is cold too.
She noticed that I stopped undressing so she turned and unzipped my jacket. Still wearing her bra and panties, she starts to unbutton my dirty jeans. I couldn’t move. At this point in my life, I had never had sex voluntarily. Let alone with a woman.
She was so pretty and gentle. I felt so stupid; I couldn’t force myself to move. I wanted too, but I couldn’t. She must have seen the panic on my face because she stopped trying to help me out of my jeans. She pulled my face to hers and she kissed me.
Her hands were so cold, but her lips were warm. She pulled back to see my reaction. I don’t know what she saw but when she kissed me again her tongue forced my lips apart and found mine.
My body warmed instantly. I started feeling things I had never felt before. That one kiss woke me from all the dark shame I had always felt before. She undressed us both with her lips glued to mine.
Reaching the shower nobs easily, she helped me step in. She asked if it was too hot. All I could do was shake my head. I had forgotten how to speak English. I had forgotten everything in my life but her.
She kissed me as she pushed my back against the cold shower wall with her hands in my hair. She’d pull back long enough to make sure I was still breathing and shed smile as she shoved her tongue back in my mouth.
The taste of her tongue made my mouth water. She was rough, but it was so soft. Something I had never experienced before. The water poured over our bodies as her tongue left my mouth and found my neck.
Like the water droplets, her tongue ran to my breasts. She looked up at me as her tongue traced my nipple making it stand sharp. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the wall. I could feel my body getting wetter and wetter with each touch I felt on my breasts.
When I no longer felt her mouth on my breasts I opened my eyes, she was standing in perfection as she looked at me. Her wet hair circled her breast making them look framed. She spun me around and pushed me against the shower wall.
At first, I didn’t understand. Then I felt her tongue. She pushed the hair off my neck and replaced it with her tongue. Her hands reached around my body and gripped both my breasts as she kissed my shoulders. With her breast pressed to my back, she slid to her knees.
She used her tongue to outline my buttocks. She only stopped to suck on my cheeks while she pushed one leg up and into the corner of the shower. Now I realize she was angling my body so the water wouldn’t drown her as she satisfied us both.
She pushed her head between my body and the shower wall with her eyes glued to mine. I had both hands braced on the shower wall not knowing what to expect. I watched as she lightly kissed my bikini line.
Using her finger, she parted me, with her tongue she showed me why. I exhaled so loudly I scared myself. The way her tongue danced on my body, the things I felt from her tongue, I had to sit before I fell down.
To make it easier on me she pushed the lever on the bath with her hand to let the water fill. She only let it fill to our ankles while she kissed me. She turned the water off and she laid down in the bath.
Without a word she pulled me by my hand to sit, I thought on her. That wasn’t the case. She wanted to be under me. She pulled me to the far end of the bath as she wrapped her arms under my knees.
She sat me on her tongue. I was startled by the sensations I felt at first. I had never had a tongue there before that day. She guided me at first by lifting and lowering my hips on her. She got as deep inside me with her tongue as she could.
My first orgasm was in a bath on her tongue. I fell in love with her that day. There was many firsts that day with her. Even now I haven’t forgotten my first time.
After my orgasm, she let the water out and without towels we went to her bed. She sat me down as she pushed me back while she again went to her knees. With her hands under my hips, she lifted my body to her face.
She stared at me for a long minute before she began again tickling me with her tongue. Her hands found my breast and in harmony, she played my body like a harp. I loved the way she would dart her tongue deep inside me, then she’d pull it out and lick me. It was so intense.
She climbed my body to find my breasts with her mouth as her fingers found the wet spot her tongue left. At first, it was only the one finger. Finally, she added another as she ground into me. Her breasts rubbed against my stomach with each thrust. I know she too wanted her orgasm and I wanted to give it to her.
I pushed her shoulders back. At first, she resisted but I managed to get her to back up while wearing a questioning look. I pulled my legs up and I patted the bed. She surrendered and followed my lead.
I had never done this before, I was nervous. I lay on top of her and we kissed as I fondled her breast. Trying to take what I had just learned and make her feel as she made me feel. I know I wasn’t as good. I wasn’t as subtle as I made my way down her body.
I kissed her thighs before I wet my tongue not knowing what to expect or if I’d even like the taste. I was cautious as I licked her the first time. I used my fingers to spread her much as she had done to me. I had never been this close, nor had I ever seen one from this angle.
I could now see what caused the pleasure I felt when she opened me for the first time. Why when she used her tongue, it made me go weak in the knees. I used the tip of my tongue to circle that spot. She began moaning slightly. I was impressed with myself.
I separated her with my tongue and knew, I did like the taste. She had a clear taste. Something I enjoyed on my tongue, in my mouth. I pushed it in further. I grabbed her hips and pulled her as close as possible.
I opened my mouth as wide as I could and I pushed my tongue in her as far as I could. Nothing I did satisfies the need I felt for her. She felt the same need as she worked her hips to get me in deeper. I circled my tongue deep inside her as she moaned telling me this felt right.
At times my tongue darted in hard and fast, and other times I pushed it in and left it as far in her as I could. Finally, I did something she liked and she exploded in my mouth. That was the most satisfying feeling I have ever felt. To know you did that to someone is amazing.
Even after as we lay on the bed naked, we never talked about what had happened. Instead, she asked if I was hungry as she got up and went to the kitchen. She came back with two sandwiches. I ate while she dressed.
Around seven that night she asked if I was ready to go home, I wasn’t but what could I say? As we were getting into her car someone pulled into her driveway. She muttered something I didn’t catch as a man got out and came over to us. That’s when I learned she had a husband.”