To those who will tell you, “but they are you (insert family member title)” you can’t just cut them of… You can fuck off. They don’t get a pass because they are blood.

For those that say, “You could have had it worse”, You can fuck off. Just because things could be worse, doesn’t minimize someone’s experiences, or trauma.

For those whose view is, “We all go through hell so life can teach us lessons/so we can come out stronger”, when some shares their trauma story and struggles with you. Fuck right off. Trauma is not a good thing or a way someone should have to learn those lessons. They shouldn’t be made to feel like their experience was less impactful or less worthy of being witnessed just because you choose  to hold space for them and the vulnerability it took to trust you with narrative.

To those who say, “ I am always here for you”, but then are quick to change the subject, say “bummer”, or shrug it off when asked to be there for you. Fuck off, so much fuck off. If you just want to hear that everyone is fine even when they aren’t don’t offer to be there if you won’t be. Never make them feel like they are a burden or a bummer because you don’t have it in you to give a fuck about anyone else but yourself.

For all of those who come with terms and conditions of how you will show up for people in your life, I wholeheartedly and with zero reservation, disrespectfully decline your presents in my life. I do not come with a fine print representation of how I will show up for myself in my life. Respect is earned and goes both ways. If you do not like that, well you can just fuck off.

-Teenager me 

Next Chapter: The wrong one lived.