I woke with a familiar pain in my gut, a longing

There were years piling up on top of me

So high they began to crack the ceiling

If they break out into the world everyone will see them in all their irrelevant splendor

I hear the traffic outside

I was lost somewhere between slumber and the seconds of unbearable truth that I must live another day in a world that is such a stark contrast to the one in my dreams

I stumble about the cold hardwood floors

I am being led to the mirror at the end of the hall

Even in the dark I can still see that face

Even in pitch black I can see

The lines, the eyes, the smile… I hate what I’ve become

But I remember

I was once valiant and brave, wild and strong-willed

Now, I starve for a chance to let out my great warrior cry

I will not be subdued

I want to be the restless child I once was, forever

I need him

I need him to fuel me with the veracity and arrogance and madness and brokenness that claws at all of us at one point in time or another

I need him always

To pull me from ash and recycle my words and feed my imagination until there is nothing left but fresh aspirations

I want to be him, again

I want to live with the strange, the wanderers

My kinsmen, my true family

I want to burn again, as I did when I was young

I need to burn- passion unbridled, burn on and on into the bitter unknown

I want to be forever

I want to break the mirror and shatter what I told myself was real

I want to wake the sleepers and stir their whispers into a scream.

Goddamn I want to hear the people, gnashing, and gnawing

I don’t want to leave a mark

No, I want to leave a gaping hole

I want to be like the phoenix

Rising, inspiring, bringing unity to the people

I want to hear the silent people scream 

Next Chapter: Hounds