A long time ago, but not that long ago, there lived a girl who loved video games. She was also into cartoons and comic books, tales of dragons and adventure, science fiction and escapism. She was smart, born into a family of smart people, the rest of whom had been born in a far-away place. They had moved to the United States, establishing themselves as leaders in their academic fields, and had given birth to this precious little girl – who is of course me.

Is that enough backstory for now? Sorry, that’s all you’re going to get for the time being. You’re still Level 2, remember? But hey, you got some new details, if you were interested. Cis female, first generation, daughter of immigrants, in a family driven by education, intelligence and success… did that last part come across? Yeah, there’s always been a focus on achievement. Not much of a stretch for you to assume that my folks are a bit disappointed that my drive for achievement involves unlocking missions in massive multi-player online role playing games that involve swinging virtual axes and using magical energy weapons. But now you’re probably guessing that I’m rather young. Don’t be so sure about that one. I know. Le sigh.

But as I shouldn’t splurge all my secrets so soon, let me get back to my quote-unquote narrative. Don’t worry, Level 2. All, as they say, will be revealed.

So I wake up the next mid-morning with the usual gamer’s hangover, the harsh light of day filtering through my curtains, waiting to sting my eyes lest I open them. I lounge as long as I can, thinking about how I should approach JJ Spin. It would be dangerous for me to communicate with him while we’re with the team. I could send him a private message, but I’d rather do that when the rest of the team isn’t around, in case it backfires. You never know, he could suss me out and scream, “You’re a girl?!” Trust me, it’s happened before. Long story. Don’t wish to remember it. Had to create a whole new login, character, everything. You get labeled, and word spreads. I’ve learned to be super careful. There are too many players who either really enjoy bashing and chasing away any female players or they just literally hate the idea of a woman playing their game. Yes, it IS fucking annoying. Right, ladies?

The problem is (back to the smaller problem in my narrative, not the sweeping problem of misogyny in general) that JJ may not log into the game until late tonight. He might go straight off to meet the team. He might also never want to play with us ever again, after the headache that was CRUX last night. So if I want to be sure to get a dialogue going between us today, I’m going to have go for the direct approach and send him a message. I could have last night, but again, I didn’t want to chance his outing me. Plus, I was enjoying the ongoing back-and-forth between CRUX, the MRA (Men’s Right’s Activist) and JJ, the apparent SJW.

At this point, I should probably make my personal feelings clear about Social Justice Warriors. (Not just to you, but to myself.) I’ve met a few, and they span the scale of good to bad, as I’m sure members of any group can and do. And this scale doesn’t just span from well-meaning white dudes to anti-trolls to creepy perverts. SJW’s are diverse creatures, and creatures of diversity. They probably come in every color and gender. They’ve got the activist spirit, which is cool, but it also means they can go overboard when they hear a battle cry. But I get that too. It’s all pushback when you’ve got this kind of tension going. CRUX and his types blowing all that hot air for this long, there’s bound to be trouble when you try to redirect that hot air back into their faces. And it’s not just hot air; they walk the walk too. So when someone calls a privileged white guy’s philosophy stupid or hateful or evil to their faces (figuratively, in the online world), you better bet they’re going to damn well defend it hard, fast and completely. If you give an inch in any “debate,” they will nuke you from orbit. If an SJW isn’t prepared to fight back, they’re not really an SJW. And when they fight back, then the real ugliness rains down.

I guess another concern that lingers in the back of my mind when observing an SJW at work, is their motivation. Is it true activism that drives them? Do they see injustice and have to pounce on it? Or would they argue against whatever position a Type-A douchebag like CRUX might spout? Or if we see CRUX as a Troll, then JJ is an anti-Troll, or maybe a fellow Troll looking to spar? Or what if our team leader wasn’t a Type-A douchebag, would JJ have picked a fight with them regardless, making JJ the Troll. And SJW’s can totally come off as Trolls or be solid true-to-life Trolls.

And then there’s the whole White Knight Neckbeard thing, which I believe CRUX mentioned right off the bat when JJ was first introduced. Let’s drop the “Neckbeard” part, as I figure that’s just making an assumption about the dude’s appearance, basically calling him repulsive, much in the same way derogatory adjectives are often added before the term Gamer Girl when directed at, well, me in several past instances. The White Knight is a possible subset of SJW, but usually not. You see, his true objective is to win the affection of or favors from the woman he’s “rescuing” from the Trolls. He can get in the way and just further complicate a tense situation. It’s hard enough when someone is verbally attacking you because of your gender, without someone stepping in on your behalf but making it obvious that they are there in the hopes that you’ll later talk dirty with them and, I don’t know, send naked pictures and arrange a meeting or something? I’m not sure what the hell they expect when they’re online with people around the world and they’re looking to score. Whatever, dude, I can fight my own battles.

Except that I’m not. I’m hiding. CRUX was saying all those shitty things, and I just let JJ stand up to him alone. JJ didn’t know I was a woman. So unless he was just fishing or fighting back as a reflex action, I can suspect he might be a legitimate SJW, with maybe a 66% chance of not also being a creepy White Knight dude. But is that even a good thing? Do I want to make friends with a legitimate SJW when I’m teaming up daily with woman haters?

And why am I teaming up daily with woman haters, you ask? Well… give me minute here. Okay, I’m leveling up like wicked fast, and the bonus booty awards and points are totally killer with these guys. Also, I wanted to prove that I could do it – that I could hold my own with these D-bags. But to be honest, it’s starting to wear on me. Maybe that’s why JJ Spin has peaked my interest so much. It’s like he’s a breath of fresh air that’s made me realize I’ve been playing in a sewage drain for months. So, I’m thinking, if I feel this way, then why am I afraid he’ll out me to the team? I should write him a damn message and throw the dice. (Thanks for the pep talk. That was you, right? You’re now seriously close to Level 3. Hang in there.)

SEND MESSAGE TO: JJ SPIN:

“Hey JJ, I liked how you stood up to CRUX last night. Sorry I didn’t jump in there to help you out, not that you needed it. I guess I’ve been playing with these guys so long that I just block that stuff out. In fact, I’ve realized I don’t want to wear blinders to avoid the drama anymore, so if you know of another group, I’d love to join one with less macho dickhead hate rants. You know of anything? Peace – DigDuggler”

Bingo, you’re Level 3. Yes, I worked long and hard to come up with that name. You see, I needed one that screamed “Look at me, I have a penis!” Did I succeed? Oh, shut up. I don’t want to hear it. For your information, it’s been working for me just fine, all right? Well, obviously I am overcompensating; no need to point that out. Now don’t go abusing your new Level 3 status. You don’t have to call me DigDuggler if you’re going to get all prude salad on me. Okay, that sounded nasty. I apologize. But you have to stop laughing. I seriously didn’t mean it to come out that way. Well, I can’t very well go back and change it now – you just read it! May we continue puh-leaze? (We’re cool. I like getting chummy with my Level 3’s, but don’t let it go to your head.)

So I hit send and wait. JJ is probably not up yet. Or at work or whatever. Who knows what he’s up to? Or maybe he’s a she and this can be the start of a beautiful friendship. I’m sure we’ll have a big ole laugh about the DigDuggler name. We’ll create new characters named Thelma and Louise and take back the server. Whatever. I got stuff I should do. The ball’s in JJ’s court now.