A solitary figure in a lab coat walks down the long, plushly carpeted corridor at the top floor of PharmaTek headquarters. A dark-haired fellow, about 35 years of age, he doesn’t have the usual appearance of members of the research staff. Personal hygiene is clearly on his list of daily activities and he gazes around with genuine interest in his unfamiliar surroundings. – This is, after all, his first trip to ‘the big man’s’ office.
As he reaches the end of the hall, blond wood double doors open at his approach to reveal a large reception area. Sitting at a desk is a man that can only be described as a cross between a linebacker and a model out of an East Coast clothing catalog. The nameplate on the desk says ‘Jeremy W.’.
‘Good afternoon.’ says the pastel-shirted monster. ‘How may I help you?’
‘Er… I’m Dr. Greg Katterhagen, here for a 2:00 meeting with Dr. Holbart… He called me up from R&D...”
‘Clearly.’ the sentinel replies shaking his head slightly. He then stares off into space for a moment and executes a few gestures. ‘Sir, Dr. Katterhagen is here… Very well, Sir.’
Returning his attention to the scientist he gestures to the right where two doors start to silently open. ‘Through there.’
Just then, his expression softens slightly. ‘Good luck.’
‘Thanks?’ replies Katterhagen who moves to enter the corner office.
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It wasn’t what he expected.
When Katterhagen received the message from Holbart’s office that he was to show up the following day and provide materials for an investor presentation he assumed it would be Holbart and perhaps a couple of technical assistants to help collate the data from the research he’d been working on for the last three years.
As the lead scientist on the project, he assumed he would be briefing the investors on the progress of their research efforts. In preparation, he had all of the data loaded into his local rig for reference.
Instead, he encounters about a dozen people sitting around a large conference table in the center of the room with Holbart at the head. Not a one of them, with the possible exception of Holbart himself, looked like they’d ever set foot inside a lab. Katterhagen’s confusion must have been evident because Holbart immediately jumped in.
‘Dr. Katterhagen, welcome! Everyone, this is Dr. Greg Katterhagen, head of the research team that has developed the RESET procedure.’
‘”RESET procedure”?’ asks Katterhagen, clearly confused.
Smiling, Holbart replies, ‘Oh, yeah. Bob here is the lead on the marketing team that ran the focus groups to come up with the name. – You don’t think we’d be marketing it as ‘reference-based cellular regeneration and DNA excision / replacement therapy’ did you? That would just scare people off!’
Bob nods and holds up his hands in a dubious display of modesty.
Glancing at the people around the table Bob grins and says with a wink, ‘Scientists, right?!’
Everyone around the table chuckles politely. Greg starts to turn red.
Holbart continues. ‘Greg, you and your team have done a great job in developing the technology. In order to take things farther and start making money, we’re going to need a more market-focused approach. That’s the sort of thing investors understand and is precisely why I want you to coordinate the hand off of your data, key test subjects and results to the ‘creatives’ team who will be doing the presentation and the demo.
Janet and Nancy are running the holography team that we will be using to make the visuals...’ Greg turns to look at the pair. Frankly, it’s hard to tell them apart. Both are dressed head to toe in black with matching severe haircuts.
Holbart looks at Greg appraisingly. ‘Janet, what do you think? For a scientist he’s actually kind of presentable. Do you think we should include him in the video?’
Janet pauses a moment, staring at Greg as he continues to change color. ‘Yes, I think that could work. Nothing like someone in a lab coat to lend credibility to the messaging… If he doesn’t work out, I’ve got a firm I work with that can get us the guy who plays the doctor in that Viagra6.0 commercial.’
Holbart nods enthusiastically. ‘Oh, he’s good!’
‘I know, right?!’ replies Janet.
Greg recovers enough to interrupt. ‘ “Start making money”? Are you serious? We’ve had some great progress with our test animals but we are not anywhere close to calling this a qualified therapy! We haven’t done any long-term evaluations of the test subjects and we’re years away from any kind of approval for human testing!’
Holbart makes a calming gesture. ‘Greg, we’re not talking about selling this just yet, but we are going to need to get investment money to continue our work. To get it, we’ve got to get people excited about the potential of the technology. Help the creative team do their job so we can land this. That’s an order.’
Greg looks Holbart in the eye and says, ‘I don’t like it.’
Holbart looks back and asks, ‘Do you like your job?’
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The next day Janet, Nancy and Bob showed up in Greg’s lab with a squadron of hipster minions who took pictures of every square inch of the place and dragged out any ‘cool looking’ equipment for their video along with the most photogenic test animals that had undergone the experimental procedure. They also took copies the team’s notes and videos that documented the state of animals before and after.
‘Don’t worry,’ said Janet, ‘you’ll get your critters back in a few days.’
‘You don’t get it do you?! You’ve broken every protocol in the book for maintaining a chain of custody. These are not circus animals! They are lab test subjects! We’ve lost years of research!’
‘Who’s this little guy? He’s cute!’ asked Bob, ignoring him while looking at a rat in a wire cage.
Greg rolls his eyes and replies, ‘He’s lab rat #122. Some of the techs call him ‘Flash’.’
‘Flash, you’ve got a future in show business!’ says Bob, hefting the cage. As he walks out he looks over his shoulder and grins. ‘Thanks, Greg we’ll be in touch!’