The parade was so beautiful. I don’t know how I’ve never seen it before, especially since they apparently broadcast it in the city centre. I guess I just didn’t get out of my box much. Because I was weak from the three meals a week I had. I wonder why I never got out much.

There are giant floating people and animals! They seem like they’re miles in the air! Floating away from all of the problems of earth.

Just like I should.

The moving things on the ground are even more interesting! There are dancers twirling these long sticks and throwing them into the air, then catching them while doing flips. There are giant cars with decorations on top and people standing all around. They blocked off all of the faux main streets just for the parade. There are horses, dogs, cats and even some animals I’ve never seen before in all of my life!

“How are you liking the parade so far?”

“Huh?”

“You like the parade?” Gui said just a little bit louder this time.

“It’s amazing! It’s the best thing I’ve ever seen!”

“Just wait a little bit. The remembrance float is coming by. It’s my favourite float in the whole parade.”

“Remembrance float? What are they remembering?”

“You’ll see, you’ll see.”

The sea of people at the parade seemed to be from the entire country. There were hundreds, maybe even thousands of people on this one tiny stretch of road, all here to see this one event. I have absolutely no idea how I’ve never seen or even heard of it before. It’s because I’m different. It’s because I’m not wanted. I know that this is definitely a tradition that I want to start; going to the parade every single year.

“What’s that white flying thing over there?”

“That’s a dove,” Gui said in a tone that was almost disbelief, “they’re brought in from a faraway place just for the parade.”

“It’s such a beautiful creature. I want to be free like that dove one day.”

“You don’t want to be like a dove.”

“Why not?”

“Because people go out and catch doves so that they can use them in these parades. They take the poor creature and trap them here. They’re released, true, but it’s only a false sense of freedom. I guess it’s kind of like us, in a way. Except, we don’t get the privilege to even so much as think that we’re free.”

“I still want to be like a dove one day.”

“Why?”

“It has to be nice. Even if you’re not really free, thinking you’re free must feel liberating.” An emotion crept onto my face, perplexing those smile muscles that have been so underused for the past few years before I continued to say, “I think we’re the ones trapped by them.”

“What? By a dove?”

“Maybe.”

“What do you mean?”

“At least they get to live a life of hope. When they’re caught, they’re fed and kept safe from everything that might want to hurt them and when they’re released, they get to fly free to wherever they want to be.”

At least when they run, they have somewhere to run to.

I love the parade I truly do. It’s such a peaceful place.

This is the one place that I really do truly feel like nothing could ever go wrong. Not in a million years.

But, for some reason that I couldn’t shake, I felt a dark presence coming. Something that just didn’t feel right. It inched its way towards me. One inch at a time; moving slowly. Ever so slowly.

I guess it’s been a million years already.

At a near whisper I tried to say “I feel something strange”, but all that came out was a gentle breath of air.

“There she is! The Remembrance float. A float to remember what the government has done and is doing to us. But also to remind us how good things used to be. Before we had Corde Apsolutus and Rejects.”

This float, it was a sight to behold. It was beautifully disgusting. Spilt cans of trash, a muddy floor and a giant, rotting rat carcass made of paper mache (to really add to all of the remembrance) were sprinkled haphazardly across the float.

But there was something different about this float, asides from all of the filth and despair. Something special.

“What’s that near the back?” I asked.

“Hope. That right there, is what hope looks like.”

Hope, like the doves have.

Hope was a flower. A singular white rose, that created a little meadow in the middle of all of the disrepair on the float. Hope stood about a foot tall with not a thorn in sight, shining above all of these other parts of the float.  Hope wasn’t going to be crushed. Hope was never going to vanish, even with all of the turmoil surrounding it. Hope wasn’t tainted yet by those who had lost it years ago. It won’t disappear like mine did oh so long ago.

That’s my middle name, you know.” I said, simply as an afterthought.

“Hope?”

“Rose.”

“That’s a cute middle name, do you have a last name as well?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because my family never let me know what our last name was. In case I tried to use someone to find them.”

I have no idea why I would use someone to find them but at least that’s what my smallest sibling tried to say when he explained it to me.

“Where’d you get the name Rose from?”

“I got it just now, from that parade float,” I said as a little grin crept onto my face. “I want to remember what hope is like. I want to find my hope.”

“So why not use the word hope?”

“As a middle name? Don’t be silly. Rose sounds so much more poetic. A single rose standing in the middle of a Garden of Eden amidst all of the travesties that the outside world has become.”

“Garden of Eden? Travesty? Where’d you learn all of these things?”

“My family was religious. I know nearly everything there is to know about the bible yet I can barely spell my own name.”

“You know what? Yea, I like it. Riley Rose. It suits you.”

The parade marched on, as the remembrance float slowly moved away. Ever so slowly, centimetre by centimetre along the road, to the other end of the parade. Remembrance. What a joy it must be to be remembered. I wonder if my family still remembers me.

Forgotten.

The remembrance float had just passed out of sight when Gui suddenly stood at attention and pulled me in closer. Protectively.

“We have to go.”

“What, why? I thought you never missed the parade. We’re here now, why don’t we enjoy it?”

“We have to go. Now.”

“Wh-why?”

He nodded towards it and my gaze followed his eyes to the worst possible thing that could be coming through the parade.

A patroller.

“I thought we had more time. C’mon, let’s go.” Gui said in a solemn voice.

“It’s okay, I really enjoyed the parade. I’m glad I got to see the remembrance float.”

We gently shoved our way through the crowd, out to the nearest alleyway. Raising excess suspicion here could be the end of the both of us.

Especially with that patroller getting so dangerously close.

Run away, before it’s too late.

“Run ahead, you can squeeze through all of these people better than I can. I’ll catch you in the alley.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“Riley, it’s nearly here. If it scans and it notices your heat but doesn’t see a wristband, you’re as good as dead. I’ll be right there, I promise.”

“No, I can’t leave you. You’re the first person I’ve had in my life in a long time. You’re the first person I’ve ever known to have ever cared about me. I can’t leave you… I can’t.”

Without saying another word, Gui shoved me deep into the crowd and I was swallowed whole by this ever-changing mass of bodies. All I could see was the patroller’s beam inching closer and closer. So I did the only thing I knew how. I ran.

Nothing is forever.

I’m here. I’m living. But I’m not alive.

I waited for him, just like he asked, at the end of the alley in the darkest corner I could find. I waited and waited. The water from the drain pipes above gently dripped their murky water onto my head, one splat a time. The sun was only barely angled in such a way that a tiny sliver of a single ray hit a building right in front of me from way above somewhere. It was so cold in this alley corner now and all I had were the few clothes on my back.

The parade was over now. All the sounds had started to die down. People started to leave for home and it was getting so late that even the janitors were starting to pack up and leave. It was nearly completely dark, that’s when the patrollers would be out in full force. That’s when they were supposed to come out last night. Why was that singular patroller there? I sure hope Gui gets back before nightfall. Was the capital mad? Did they not get enough rejects last quarter?

Maybe this was the end of us. Maybe I was just a fool to think that I would ever have someone in my life. Especially someone as caring as Gui. Why did Gui even care? I should’ve known that nothing is forever.

I should’ve known not to let him in.