4

Pattaya, Thailand

Here, there and now; our plane landed in Bangkok, Thailand. The journey had felt almost like a lifetime, I had no idea my body contained all this water from all the tears I had cried throughout all the rides. We had a stopover in France as there was no direct flight flying across all three continents, and we had finally made it. Once again, I had no idea of what to expect of Thailand, another jump into the unknown; but this time I was old enough to understand more things. I would notice and observe my surroundings much more than I did before. My mind was hungry. But this time I got hit by a little hole that had started in my heart, like I had left pieces of myself to the people I loved most, but it didn’t hold me back at all. It was exciting, the start of yet another adventure.

This time, the first thing I noticed was Thai people’s hospitality: they greeted us in the most respectful and at the same time welcoming gestures. The airport was so clean, the signs that were all over immediately caught my eye, they were illegible. The Thai alphabet was nothing like the one I knew, it is unique. I learned later on that it is known to be a script named ’abugida’ [16]. It was quite confusing but thankfully there were English translations under each indication. I didn’t know how to speak English so well just yet either, but I could read a few words here and there, enough to make something out of them.

The second thing I noticed was of course, the temperature shock as soon as the airport gates opened wide, this time the worst one we had ever experienced yet. It was like a constant heat wave, the humidity caused my hair to go all fuzzy and my skin to sweat instantly. It was a little burdensome at first and it was difficult to get used to. My body felt heavy. Nevertheless, we had arrived safe and sound as a whole. My father, my mother, my sister, Dax, Happy and I; altogether.

We were greeted at the arrival gate by two drivers, and in Thailand, taxis were either named ’songthaews’ [17] which consist in pickup trucks rearranged with benches and a roof in order to carry more people or there were mini vans which the Thai referred to as "limousines". We had gotten the songthaew full of luggages and for the dogs and we had a minivan. Once on the road, I remember hearing a sudden anxious scream coming from my mother as she was pointing at Happy, who out of nowhere, was on the side of the road. The driver stopped immediately and we ran to get the dog. He had jumped out from the back of truck. We picked him up in the minivan with us this time. He really gave us a big fright. It was quite a start to our new journey.

On the road we started getting an idea of the dimensions and characteristics of Thailand. There were all types of vehicles carrying all sorts of things; wether it were large glass frames, dogs on the front of a motorbike of three people, ’tuk-tuks’ [18] carrying clothing racks and some carrying shoes and bags; it was a little chaotic but it was all so exciting. A whole new culture and way of life in the South-Eastern continent of Asia. We were moving to Pattaya, located in the South Eastern part of Thailand in the region of Chonburi with a population of about a hundred and nineteen thousand, five hundred and thirty two inhabitants.

We arrived at the hotel Mercure after about an hour or two, it was a typical hotel compared to the ones we had stayed in back in Mexico; our standards had been set quite high already. Nevertheless, it was another hotel we stayed in for a couple of months until our moving container’s arrival once again.

My parents had already chosen the house we were going to move into during their recognition trip, but Ali and I had no idea of what to expect. We were definitely surprised in the best of ways imaginable. We were first amused by the sight of our condominium’s entrance, it was surrounded by a red wall and all sort of foreign statues from different historical periods. Strangely but amusingly enough, there were penguin statues all painted in all different types of art one by one along the walls in the street. It was very exotic , we loved the colours and the vegetation. The entrance was full of palm trees and it was located in the middle of nowhere on a road near to a small river and next to a small slum on the outskirts of Pattaya city.

Nevertheless, as we opened the sliding portal to our new temporary home, we saw seven yellow cylinders standing upward. It was nothing that I had ever seen before but it reminded me of a cartoon I used to watch when I was younger called ‘Barbapapa’; in which the house was made up of ball-like interconnected rooms. It was definitely designed by an architect. We then opened what was a banal front door that gave way to the indoor garden and we couldn’t believe our eyes. The interior garden was like a small private oasis in which there were plants growing all around a round swimming pool. It looked like a holiday villa, but it was going to be our home for the next four years. It was unreal.

Once in the interior garden, there were the seven cylinders all surrounding it and the pool. Looking at it from a clockwise panoramic view, there was first a laundry room followed by my sister’s room next to my parent’s room. There was a terrace with an outdoor shower right next to the living room (which was wider, more the form of a sort of bean-shaped cylinder) and the whole was topped by a second floor (mother bedroom), which had two terraces on each side. Each room had its own private bathroom with bath and shower. Then followed the dining room, the kitchen and finally the fitting room. It was such a big house and so nicely evened out that we all had our own privacy and isolation respected. I even remember my mother calling us each time she found herself alone in a room, she couldn’t stand it. The house already came with some furniture from the owner, there were traditional Thai chairs, paintings done by the owner of the condominium (who is quite a talented artist), some wardrobes and beds. When our own furniture arrived, unpacking all our stuff and rearranging the interior design (taking into account the great amount of furniture we had accumulated) to fit accordingly to the available space of each property we would move into later on, was always a fun challenge. Once everything was done, it was time to think about other priorities. And with priorities comes education and work of course, it was back to school for us again. But this time we didn’t do a regular back to school, we had moved late in the academic year and this meant we were doing a back to school in May which happened to be the third school term here. But the surprise doesn’t stop here; originally always having studied in the French Educational System, it turned out that there was no French school in Pattaya at all. So, despite the English lessons from the French system and my Irish uncle Declan (the husband of my mother’s oldest sister, my godmother) trying to encourage us to speak english with him; we didn’t really know how to communicate in English all that much; but we had been admitted to Regents International School. And just as the name spoils it, it is an international school. However, one doesn’t know that it is not an international school like any other, or like any school that I know of for that matter.

On my father’s end, Thailand had been a difficult start. I’m not sure what triggered this feeling of unease for him but I knew that work wasn’t going too well which was a major factor. Something in him was off. He had loved the place from their recognition trip but there had been a downturn.

He had found himself in a factory east of Pattaya which was a factory that had not yet integrated the Valeo work culture, he had lost all the things that had made him love the work he had signed up for. He had felt some sort of work and culture shock all at once, strangely enough he told us he felt like he was living “hell in a heavenly place”. The product he had assigned to direct as qualified was a new technology he didn’t master, he went through his first crisis spill and working with asian people had brought him frustration that we was unable to manage as he couldn’t communicate as effectively as he had done with his coworkers back in Mexico. It had been a mix of little factors that had added up and he hadn’t been able to sort them through altogether just yet. It had brought him to what we call a ‘burnout’, he had lost control of all the aspects of his life and felt like he was out of it. It had brought him numbness and he had felt useless wherever he was, his Japanese bosses had turned things upside down for him through the crisis and made him loose his self-esteem. However, my mother soon noticed and she did her best to comfort him and be there when he needed it. They had and were always there for one another when it came to bringing love and support each other. My father once told us: ‘the secret to your success is who you marry’.

It took him a while to find himself again though, but surely enough, one of his old directors back in France had given him a boosting call and support from his closest friends had brought him right back on his feet. His old director had found a new position for him in another factory nearest to the city where the culture and the team corresponded better and it helped him to regain the control he had lost. He was right back on track. He grew stronger and was ready for the upcoming challenges he was to face.

Regents International School stands tall and proud ten km away from the city centre in the green rural district of Banglamung. It opened its doors back in 1994 and became a member of the Federation of British International Schools in South East Asia (FOBISIA) in the year two thousand, the Round Square IDEALS [19] organisation of worldwide schools, and the world-wide family of Nord-Anglia Education premium international schools in two thousand and twelve. Furthermore, Regents embedded a unique Global Citizenship [20] programme across the curriculum since the year two thousand and one and is also a boarding school to a body of four hundred students from ages three to nineteen as it is a school that goes from Early Years (Kindergarten), Primary (Elementary) and Secondary (Middle & High School). Today, it is a school of over a thousand students representing fifty-three different nationalities. With the expensive tuition fees came a well worth it package, whether it was the facilities [21], the opportunities [22] offered, the staff or the curriculums; it is truly more than a school; it is a true community, a school of life.

I remember our first day of school as if it were yesterday, we were nervous and we were a little disturbed by the school’s dressing codes, it was the first time we ever had uniforms. The French system being quite libertarian meant we had never really been taught about dress codes, but we soon realised how beneficial uniforms are. It really made life easier when it came to being a student; less shopping, people looked at you and your personality instead of the one portrayed by your style, it was convenient as there was less comparison between one another and it made us look smart as well as representing our school in our daily lives.

So, we were driven to school by a driver we would have for the following few months; this was one of the few benefits that came with my father’s contract. In fact, the school fees were also paid by Valeo which made me realise later on how fortunate we were to have the expatriate contract because if it weren’t for the benefits it provides, we probably wouldn’t have been able to afford an education as such (nor the house or this lifestyle altogether).

Once dropped off at school, the principal greeted us and guided us to our classes. The school system consisted in separating the students in coloured houses that were themed with the four elements [23], these were to organise the large student body in order to make meeting and talking to specific students easier as well as having groups for contests for the various annual events such as the battle of the bands, sports day, and more. It was a good organisation and worked wonders. I was placed in Green house, obviously the best house but then again everyone thought their house was best of course. In the morning we would arrive and have about half an hour in our home room with our principal teacher in which we would discuss our academic progress, got told important announcements, play games, participate in quizzes, discuss or debate on current global issues and of course, where we were checked for attendance.

The weekly schedules were pretty easy to follow, however I did get a lost a few times on the first week or so, the campus was the biggest I had ever studied on so far. The good news was that for the first time ever, I had an educational schedule that enabled me to fulfil myself outside of school and not just on weekends. In this educational system, we got dismissed at three twenty pm three times a week which I thought was amazing (We had after school activities on Mondays and Thursdays from three twenty to four thirty pm).

Another amazing novelty was that we had music and drama classes as well as full Secondary school “assemblies" [24]; I thought it incredible that this school valued any discipline as much as the other and worked on making each and every student work on their strengths as well as their curiosity in order to know more about oneself. It was a system that brought harmony.

The most challenging part at the start was obviously the communication, but with my sociable personality and the help of the lovely teachers along with the people here, I made some good friends right away. One of my very first friend is today, my best friend; Sofia Parshina. We met in Spanish class, she was born in Irkutsk, Siberia (Russia). We became friends right away, she was the first to sleepover at my house and discover our world. We clicked right away. There was also an outdoor education week [25] that month in which we became very close, we were (and still are) always confiding in each other and always there to lift one another or for a good laugh. I adore her.

But the best time to develop true connections and meet new people was during Round Square Weeks [26]. There were always countless opportunities whether it was a surf trip to Bali, a theatre one all the way to London, an elephant nature reserve volunteering week in Chiang Mai or a survival one with Cave Lodge; everyone had the opportunity to test themselves and their comfort zone. They were all times that remain forged into our minds.

Time kept flying by and I became a better English speaker, I had made many other friends and was doing good academically; the student-teacher relation in this school was wonderful. It really got me kickstarted on education. Most teachers were passionate adults making sure that we were taking education seriously but in an enjoyable atmosphere, I loved going to school each and every day as the teachers I had been assigned all made me eager to learn. I started many different after school activities which also helped making friends outside of class and helped me unplug from school as well as develop myself individually.

Ali and I both signed up to ballet classes outside of school at first, I loved the studio we were in and the teacher was the most gracious and delicate person I had ever met. Her voice was soothing, she taught us discipline but in a subtle way, it was nothing like the ballet classes I had experienced back in France. The only inconvenience was that ballet being a very hierarchic world, we unfortunately hadn’t started and continued ballet for long enough to be dancing in the classes that corresponded to our age range which was a little embarrassing. Nevertheless, we had done a good six months or so of ballet classes and had participated in the end of year show which had been held in the Colosseum Show Pattaya [27], a performing arts theatre that had reproduced the Roman Colosseo. I had felt the same sort of amazement I had felt from my last ballet show back in France.

I then signed up to horse riding lessons in a gorgeous Riding club named Horseshoe Point where I got to ride with Sofia in. Soon another friend, Camille Cure, would join us too. We got dressage and jumping lessons and sometimes we got to go ride outdoors on trails which was a lot of fun. For the first time, we had a passionate riding teacher named Miss Anna who taught us to ride for the pure pleasure of riding. I loved it more and more each time thanks to her.

Soon after, I joined Sofia and other girls who had participated in the school’s Fobisia team and dedicated most of my after school activities doing all the sports and training required; the sports teachers were always such friendly people, they knew how to set the best mood and keep everyone pumped as a team. They really knew how to do their job and I loved it.

Just as I had followed Sofia and the others in the sports team, I had also joined them musically. We first joined the School’s choir altogether and all participated in several concerts and assemblies; but the best part is that we ended up forming a singing A Capella group which we all developed our singing voices in harmonies and individual solos. It was amazing how much we were appreciated by the school and its various audiences. Eventually, we all signed up to the IGCSE music course taught by Miss Andrews and Mr. Crichton, both such talented teachers; so talented that they turned one of our coursework pieces of the course into a project for the school’s theatre play Alice in Wonderland for which we were told to write the background music. It was an incredible experience to work with everyone from the course, mixing each other up into groups, making the most of one another’s talents. We all came up with wonderful songs and pieces of music that we all performed live throughout the two play shows. The result was an undeniable success. Everyone had a great time and our teachers were proud of us. It was definitely a time that marked my experience at Regents.

We ended up having several friendship groups in the whole of the year group but we genuinely had a really good atmosphere compared to other year groups from the school. It was funny though, I don’t know why but they were quite exclusive groups as each group occupied its own table at the tuck shop. This means that once you were admitted to a table, you stuck to it, modifications were rare. It was only when there were “newbies” or when a new couple formed that exceptions were made. We had so much fun at lunchtimes; somedays it was crazy what we ended up talking about despite the fact that we would see each other on a daily basis. We were always altogether. There were a few dramatic stories every now and then; and people in Regents love to gossip (but I think that’s just everyone). The gossips or drama rarely ever broke friendships up though, we were pretty much all very fond of each other. The Regents family is a family one chooses to be part of, definitely a family one feels pride being a part of. I quickly started to feel satisfied with my life here in this school.

Outside of school, Pattaya wasn’t all that big of a city, but I learned then that with good company one felt happy anywhere.

Even if it wasn’t known to have the nicest beach, we still had a beach and the atmosphere of a coastal holiday city. And if one wanted a nice beach, all it took was a (thirty minutes) speed or ferry boat ride to reach the island of Koh Larn that you could see in the distance from the Pattaya Beach Road. It almost felt like we were on holidays all year long, especially with the tropical climate. And of course, with tropical climate comes the monsoon period [28]. However, the temperature varies from twenty to twenty-two degrees celsius for the lowest point and the highest go from thirty up to thirty-five degrees celsius; so the weather is most definitely warm all year round. Pattaya in itself is a city located about a hundred kilometres South-East from Bangkok, it is named after the wind blowing from the south-west to the north-east at the beginning of the rainy season.

Historically speaking, Pattaya was a fishing village until the nineteen-sixties. Tourism began during the Vietnam War, when American servicemen began arriving on R&R (rest and relaxation). Phraya Sunthorn located at the South end of the main beach, is now known as the ’Strip’ where stands today the Pattaya sign imitating the Hollywood one. The population is of about a hundred and twenty-thousand registered residents but there are many more if one takes into account all the slum residents. Ever since the American’s visit, Pattaya became one of the main destinations for the Go-Go bar industry for which many people from the north-east (known as Isan, the poorest region of Thailand) have come to work in; and they are counted for census purposes in their hometowns. But today From sightseeing and entertainment, Pattaya has now evolved into a holiday paradise and arranged for long stay residents too. It is known today for its wide array of hotel accommodations, restaurants, and shops. For its sports and recreational centres, such as golf courses, go-kart race tracks, tennis courts, and ‘Muay Thai’ [29] gyms but also water-sports such as kite-surfing, parasailing, water skiing, scuba diving, and speed boating. Pattaya is full of theatres, zoos, theme parks, bowling alleys, massage parlors, and bars. But somehow, we still managed to get bored. Eventually, we did repeat a few attractions with our visitors and friends. I remember that our go-to hang out spot with friends was Central Festival (an exotic and architectural shopping mall on the Beach Road), we all hung out there countless times and knew the place like the back of our hands despite the rearrangement of the shops or restaurants inside. We started by hanging out at the amusement arcades and the bowling alley. We then went for the cinema and the restaurants and bars but in the end we only went for shopping. We had gotten tired of it when we realised there were many more things to do and our parents started getting tired to always drive us around.

So, as we were growing older, we started to hang out at the newly constructed water parks, we would organise weekends in nearby locations such as Bangkok, Hua Hin and Rayong for celebrations. We even went to festivals, clubs and bars in the nightlife districts instead of just going to the school’s discos (which had made up most of our nights out when we were just teens). We started going to the beach more often or to sports centres with one another. I had joined Sofia at Muay Thai classes from time to time, it was much more fun to practice sports together. We would also go running at school or in the forests around our place. It was a good period of my life.

Sadly enough, Thailand was no good place to have pets in. It is full of stray dogs and cats; diseases of all kinds and the toughness of the temperature with the humidity was of no help at all. It was all a little constraining and the veterinarian costs were becoming considerable. And, we didn’t get very lucky because both Dax and Happy had fallen ill. We tried the antibiotics and the creams but it was infections that were difficult to cure. And then, because it wasn’t complicated enough, my mother had organised a run with a group of friends one day. We had run a good eight kilometres and the dogs were as exhausted as we were. Once back at home, everyone jumped out of the car and into the pool as my mother had gone down to open the front gate. Heartbreakingly, despite my mother’s indications, no one had thought of the dogs. Our poor babies had been forgotten in the trunk and we hadn’t even noticed… We searched for hours and hours, calling them all over the condominium, asking neighbours and whistling; nothing. We usually found them near the neighbour’s garden as they played with the others dogs, but not this time. We waited and waited and called the vets around to see if they were found by their chip but we didn’t get any answer. It wasn’t until late in the afternoon when I heard my mother scream like I had never heard her done before. She had found them; dead in the trunk of the car. I precipitated myself and saw them laying there, as if just asleep. They looked so peaceful and innocent. We had killed two little creatures just like that. My heart shattered into pieces. Our precious babies were gone, it was as if I had lost two brothers. I felt a terrible punch in the stomach. My mother and I held each other as we cried.

It took a while for her to smile again, it was so unusual. I had rarely ever seen her cry. She felt numb from the guilt, she felt like it was her fault. She was hurt by her own foolishness. But it wasn’t her fault at all, we had all messed up and it was too late now. We promised ourselves it was a once in a lifetime accident. We decided to incinerate them both and placed their ashes in beautiful Thai ceramic jars that we still keep today. I have also kept Dax’s collar medal that I always carry with me as a key chain. I miss him everyday.

The period in which we lived in Thailand, was a period of my life where I developed my awareness globally. It was also the time in which, three days after I had turned fourteen, my hormones developed and I had my first menstrual cycle. They were painful at first, my mother had warned me about their arrival and I had heard that many girls around me had them already. I started to hate being a girl as they got more painful each time but my mother was always there to comfort me. “You are becoming a woman now” she told me.

I also became aware of how fortunate I was to have such a wonderful family with the mix of two such rich cultures; I started to appreciate my parents’ personalities and admired them for their interests and dedications. Their desires of exploration and curiosity about this world we live in. I fell in love with them with my teenage love. Unfortunately, that year I also ‘fell in love’ with a boy for the first time.

Some people call it first love others call it infatuation [30]. For me, it started as a "crush" [31]; a boy who immediately caught my attention. He was good looking, fit, sure of himself and mysterious. But he took no interest in me in our first encounter. However, our mothers became friends by meeting in the school’s Italian community in the parents meetings so we ended up seeing each other quite often outside of school too. But, it would have been too easy if we had liked each other instantly. So it was the beginning of a conquest for me. But since I was the kind of girl who needed to be chased, I wasn’t going to do anything about it but attract his attention.

I started to get attracted to other guys here and there too, nothing serious but it was still considered a relationship at the time. I enjoyed flirting and getting their attention. Boys weren’t my priority anyway, they were a mere entertainment. Or at least that’s what I should have thought. I had a lot of guy friends, they are much easier to maintain and entertain.

But then one day, out of the blue, a boy fell in love with me. We were friends at the time, but he had fallen for a little deeper than just that somehow. And I hadn’t realised how intense his feelings were until it was too late. It was the first heart I broke, and it left a tear in mine. It was the first time I had deeply hurt someone and he was far from being a person who deserved it. The thing is, I had wanted to let loose because his feelings for me were too much; much too soon, and it wasn’t mutual. The other thing is, I was hanging out more often than ever with the boy I had fallen for since the beginning despite my conviction. And this time, although he knew I was in a relationship, he also fell for me. The timing was disastrous. So my lover was in despair as my crush became my lover too. I didn’t know what to do about the situation, but I did what felt right, without scruples. I did feel cruel and tried my best to make up for whatever I felt guilty about but the damage had been done. At fifteen years of age, there was no way I could force myself to love a boy I didn’t truly love. We only live once in each and every period of our life.

Once the toughness came to an end, despite the remaining stories and the scars; I felt some sort of unknown obsessive adoration I never thought I’d be able to feel again. Something bigger than my hormonal system’s capacity could handle. My whole nervous system was altered from one day to the next, I did things people would judge unimaginable for a fifteen year old girl. I went out of bounds for this boy I thought I loved. For this boy I wanted to save, a boy that made me feel a way I had never felt before. A boy who brought meaning to my existence. He made me break any limitation that my parents had taught and established throughout my upbringing. It was as if I needed to do everything and anything in order to make him fall in love with life each day. He was wounded in his most fragile parts and hadn’t sought healing. It could have been manipulation, it could have been that I got blinded by my ecstatic admiration but I would have done anything for that boy. I did all I could to be there for him despite the turning point in which I already knew I had lost him. He was lost before I even came into his life. But he made me feel like he needed me though, like I was the reason he felt found and I believed him. Turns out he never did and today I finally know that only he can save himself.

So it lasted until it didn’t and it started again until it completely came to an end when he moved back to Italy. It had been a rollercoaster of adventure and dangerous free falls. It ended in a way that I never could have envisioned. He just left me behind with my disrupted teenage mind; brokenhearted. It was a painful rupture and it left me disoriented for a long time. I still feel like I haven’t truly recovered from it sometimes. I don’t know how to explain what or how, but all I know is that he wounded me just in those same fragile parts that he had been wounded. He left me with no explanation, no apology whatsoever.

Nothing. There was nothing left of him other than the pictures and memories. Just like that, what we had built together was swept over by a plane. Thanks to him I learned the art of letting go.

It was the last year of our contract in Thailand as well. Perfect timing.

After that, the remaining time in Thailand had felt quite heavy, it was the year in which I had IGCSE’s [32], my first certificated exams. I had never really gotten pressure or stressed myself academically as I had a sense of duty which was to pass and complete all my homework, but that year had been different. I was lucky to have had a studious group of friends who all lifted each other up by helping one another through it all. We had a good group of good people and we exchanged books, movies, music and talked about everything and anything. We genuinely cared about one another and our well being. Even when it came to study and to succeed; it brought a positive impact on our academic capacity. It was a tough time for everyone, and I feel it had really kickstarted my academic ambitions. Luckily for me, there were exchange students every now and then that came to our school for a month or so. That year, a girl from the UK had come in our year, she was in a few of my classes and when we met, we instantly clicked. It was so nice to have someone with a different mind, background and lifestyle to ours come and discover our school through brand new eyes. Her name is Posy and she is such a genuine ray of sunshine. She made me realise a few things about our school and the people in it from another perspective. It was a great encounter, she was in boarding school throughout the week but I decided to invite her over for a weekend to make her discover our world. We took her to Bangkok for a night and we then went sailing at the Varuna Yacht Club of Pattaya the next day, it was the loveliest place to go sailing with family or friends. We had a very good time and ended up staying in touch even after she flew back home. We kept writing and missed each other to the point that we organised ourselves with our schools to enable me to be an exchange at her school this time. At first it seemed like mission impossible but after a little bit of negotiation and perseverance, I managed to get accepted for the exchange programme. I was beyond excited to have the opportunity to go to England and attend classes in an English school like hers. So off I went despite my friends and teachers warning me about the study period for IGCSE being an important period and how fast approaching the exams were. I got to spend about a month in Wellington College in which I experienced boarding school for the first time. It was located in Crowthorne but on the weekends I got to spend time with Posy’s family in London. I had an amazing time discovering life as an English student in such a great school. I had been assigned in a dorm room (referred to as a “house” just like in Regents) under the name of Combermere. It felt very homely, the girls I met there were super friendly. We had a lot of fun and they showed me all about life in Wellington. It was also the first time I felt independent. I looked after myself and had to manage time accordingly to my priorities and not the school’s. I was a bit of a rebel and managed to avoid some of the classes I had been assigned to work on my own assignments but I had never caused any trouble. I had met amazing people all the way through; whether the girls in my boarding house, Posy and her friends or the other exchange students. I keep unforgettable memories from that exchange and dreamed of studying in London someday. Coming back home felt quite strange, being back in the routine of Regents and being under the stress of the exams being right around the corner. But I quickly picked back to the rhythm and felt ready for the exams when the time came. I had become a good student. It impressed my parents and I felt proud of my efforts for the first time despite still feeling a little disoriented emotionally.

We ended up all successfully passing all of our exams and we were satisfied. I remember needing extra support from a maths tutor though and many of my friends had other tutors as well. It was always helpful. I passed all of my IGCSE’s with marks ranging from C to A* and it was what I had aimed for. (Fun little story, I had taken extra IGCSE language tests including an advanced one in French which was the only exam I didn’t pass, I got a D for one reason or another which I will never have an explanation for as we didn’t get to have our exam papers back)

Our contract in Thailand soon came to an end as my father had gotten a new job offer as a Regional Operations Quality Director Front End Module Asia in Tokyo, Japan. I had spent a week at Sofia’s house as they went to their recognition trip. We were torn apart thinking about being separated. We had been through so much together and we weren’t ready to lose touch. We were in that period in which school had us reflecting on our future and our professional career goals. She, confident as she was, already knew she wanted to become an architect and I knew she was going be a good one.

Sadly, Ali and I didn’t really got to get a say in our moving plans, we just followed.

So, after four unforgettable years of pure joyful youth with friends that had felt like a true family, it was time to leave. I did organise a goodbye party where I invited all my friends over for a pre-birthday and farewell pool party. It was amazing. We had so much fun playing games and dancing around. Most of my closest friends had stayed to sleepover and because it was our tradition to each have our alcohol baptism, that night it was on me. We would all choose whose turn it was and made each other drink until we couldn’t walk straight. I don’t remember a single thing from that night other than the fact that we had stolen the alcohol from my father’s cabinet and that I had had a little too much fun. I knew I was going to miss them all dearly.

We had definitely made the most of our time here in South East Asia as when it came to traveling, my parents could never get enough. We travelled every chance we got of our academic breaks throughout the years. My mother started working for her older sister so she was also earning a little extra money that we spent mostly as extra on our holiday budget. We visited Indonesia, China, Malaysia, Singapore, Vietnam, Cambodia and even Australia. Each and every country was wonderful. So many different cultures, landscapes and food. There was something about the Asia that I really admired. The countries were all very different and completely unmatchable with our Western world.

There was also to say that my whole family happens to be an expat family. For instance, all my aunts from my mother’s side have travelled all over too; my godmother Vittoria (my mother’s eldest sister) had herself studied International Relations specialising herself in mandarin and therefore moved to Shanghai in China since the year of my birth where she ended up working as the Global HR Business Partner of a global insurance advisor named Pacific Prime. She also met my Irish uncle there and gave birth to my two little cousins. We visited her quite often since I was a little girl and we knew Shanghai well. She played a big part in my life, she had always been present for me in some way or another, we have similar traits according to my mother and I have always looked up to her. She is a very impressive business woman and is very cultivated. Going to Shanghai in the summer, Christmas or other academic holidays meant that it was a place we would often go to. There was this one summer that I remember when I was about eight years old in which, by playing by the pool of my godmother’s condominium, I met a girl who lived in the building in front. We started talking and she happened to be half French and half Chinese, her name is Solène. And, who would have thought; but after that first encounter we lost touch. But then, about four years later, social media happened to help us recontact each other as I was back visiting my godmother in Shanghai. Then, we tried to meet up at least once a year between Paris and Shanghai and we became best friends. Today she is studying international relations in Canada and is a person I confide in a lot, I know she is someone I can always count on.

When it comes to Australia though, it was just a unique place, I immediately fell in love with it. We got to visit Australia twice, the first time was a time in which it was exactly what I needed before I even knew. My parents had surprised Ali and I taking us first to Sydney to visit some friends which we had kept in touch with since Mexico. They were a lovely family of four just like us, both parents madly in love with one another and two wonderful children. So the first week we got to experience to daily life of an expat family in Sydney, it was fantastic. The weather was amazing, the environment was wild but concrete at the same time, it was very developed and it was by the sea. There was nothing I disliked about Sydney. It became a place I’d love to live in someday. They got to go swim and surf after work, on the weekend we had visited the city and went on a track in the nearest mountains to the city. But the best part was that, after Sydney and a pit stop in Brisbane [33], my parents decided to rent a camping van for a week to go all over the Gold Coast [34]. It was my most memorable trip ever yet. I loved every single moment of that journey. The landscapes, the drives, the ocean, the people, the nature and all of the sounds and things I had set eyes on. It was a period of time in which I was still mentally unstable from the rupture but the place healed me. I will never forget this one time in which my father drove us to the Glass House Mountains [35]. Where we went on a hike just as the sun was setting and the view was just breathtaking. It was magnificent, the words I could write to describe the view would be far too diminished. It was a view so wonderful that it made you feel at peace with yourself and the world. I didn’t want to come back down from that mountain top. And I didn’t have to; my father had parked the van on a nearby hill in which we got to stargaze the night away. I felt incredibly grateful for it all. The rest of the trip pursued itself and we got to witness marvels one after the other. We visited Noosa [36], Fraser Island [37], Surfers Paradise [38] and Byron Bay [39]. There was nothing I could say, Australia had taken my breath away. It had made me realise how much I love my family, how close we all are and made me reflect on how fun it was to be just with each other; we often had dinners in which we’d end up crying out of laughter and my father always said that there must be some reality show camera hidden somewhere. It was those simple things that made life beautiful.

Coming back to Thailand after that trip had been banal, it was time for a change of environment.

Although it was always tough to leave, we were eager about whatever was coming next each time. We caught what I’d like to call the “explorer syndrome”: the insatiable need to travel and explore the integrity of the world and what it has to offer. I remember to have always been reminded about how lucky we are to have walked and seen all these countries from all these different continents. It was true wealth, a great richness. But it came with its consequences.

Next Chapter: Tokyo, Japan