Ch’usaj rose within him, gathering power to fling outwards in deadly tendrils. Someone screamed, “Owen, no! You can control it!” He could feel himself singing and fought to stop. 

The sense of Ch’usaj grew stronger, gloating and charged with hatred. The power sensed his target and directed him towards it. “Fight it, Owen! Please!”

Owen recognized the voice. He was aiming at Kaz! Filled with horror, he fought Ch’usaj with all his strength. But it was too late. He had released the power. Kaz was gone. And so was he. 

He sat up, gasping. It took a moment for him to realize that he was not on the ship. Indeed, his surroundings were utterly strange. Textures and scents and the substance of melodies surrounded him, arranged in a bizarre, yet clearly deliberate pattern. Memory stirred and fell into place. He had been here before, during the sweat ceremony. To this unearthly place where he could see. 

As he remembered the place, he also remembered…

“Welcome back, Owen,” said that unforgettable voice, a voice of honey and smoke and potential.  The Dreamer. He turned and saw her, with her storm cloud hair and panpipe skin. The sight of her combined with the visceral memory of his dream, and he burst into tears. 

“Good, Owen,” she said. “It is good for you to cry. You have been through a terrible ordeal, and your tears will help to heal you.”

Owen shook his head, trying to hold back the tears, the wail of despair that tried to tear its way from his chest. “But,” he stammered, “But. But I don’t deserve to heal from this. I took life.” 

“No,” said the Dreamer. “You did not. Ch’usaj worked through you. She took advantage of your emotions to exert her own will. There is a difference, a significant difference.” 

“But it was my power-” 

“Yes, and even some of your intent. That still does not make you a killer.” 

“My intent? But I never wanted-”

“Think back,” said the Dreamer. She put a warm hand on Owen’s forehead. “Was there nothing that happened that day that made you want to hurt those men?”

Owen wanted to argue, but didn’t dare. And before his resistance could grow, the scene began to play out around him again in flashes. Running back into the rain from the stunned silence in the hut. Being dragged back inside. Devlin rushing to defend him when Crayton threw him to the floor. Then a thump and a whine and his dog and hiding behind him. 

The anger took Owen completely off guard. There had been so much going on, and all happening so quickly, that he hadn’t had time to even register his own emotions. 

“Those men hurt Devlin,” he said, very quietly. “There was so much that happened. But they hurt my dog and I wanted to hurt them.” 

“That’s right,” said the Dreamer. “And Ch’usaj used that anger to push you.”

“But doesn’t that mean that I have the potential to kill?”

The Dreamer knelt before him so their faces were level. She took his hands and held them in her warm ones. The melody of her face had changed. There was something around the eyes that radiated kindness and warmth. Owen felt the tears prick the corners of his eyes again. “Of course,” she said. “But all humans have that potential. Most of them never find that part of themself. Most of them never need to.” 

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” asked Owen. His voice felt thick, as though he was speaking through a heavy pudding. “If Ch’usaj manipulated me, then doesn’t that just make me weak? And being able to kill - why is knowing that about myself a good thing?”

The Dreamer sighed and looked down. “I can see this will take some time to unravel,” she said. “For now, all I will say is this: why is it necessarily a bad thing to protect those you love? And, as for weakness, why do you think one of the intended victims survived?” 

“I don’t know why-” started Owen angrily, but the Dreamer cut him off. 

“Owen, do you trust me?” 

Owen stared at her. She had eyes that looked the way velvet felt. His anger dissipated. He nodded. 

“Good,” she said. “This conversation has planted seeds in your mind that you will remember even after you wake. It will start to make sense even if it doesn’t now. Can you trust that, at least?” 

“I think so,” said Owen. It all seemed so strange. But if he couldn’t trust the Dreamer, who could he trust? 

“Good,” she said. “Then we will try this again soon.” 

And the world around him dissolved into a cacophony of texture and sound. 

~

Owen awoke unsettled. His bed was an unfamiliar shape, and it swayed gently back and forth. Several people shouted to one another, water rushed nearby, and the air felt moist and alive. Of course, he remembered muzzily. He was on a boat. 

His entire body ached from their two-day trek down the mountain. And he needed to pee. For a moment the discomfort of his bladder fought with his misgivings about getting up. But he had to start sometime. 

He reached down until he felt the ridges of the reed deck below him. His fingers traced along them until he found Devlin’s soft warmth. The dog licked his hand, and Owen ruffled his ears and found his leash. Then, gingerly, he began to sit up. 

The hammock wobbled under him, then stabilized. He found himself clutching Devlin’s leash as if it could restore his balance. He grinned. Instincts were so funny sometimes. Devlin had come to his feet and shoved his nose into Owen’s lap. Owen laughed, lowering his legs to the deck, and stroked his ears. 

“Good morning, boy,” he said. 

“Owen?” it was Kaz. She sounded uncertain, lost. 

“Kaz?” he said. “Good morning. Are you alright?” 

There was a rustling, the creak of footsteps on the reeds, and then Kaz spoke softly from beside Devlin. The dog’s nose retreated slightly; he had sat down beside her.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I just had an awful dream. But it felt so real.”

“Do you want to tell me about it?” he asked. 

“Sure,” she said. “Yeah, ok.” And she launched into a description of the dream. A few of the details didn’t make sense to Owen, like the color of the mage’s robes. But he listened with concern as she described the battle, and Vidar’s speech. 

“And at the end - it was the strangest thing. It was night all of a sudden, and Chel was there. And it was like she captured all of Vidar’s forces in moonlight. She was a mage. And then she told Vidar he wouldn’t be allowed to succeed. Everything went all silver. That’s when I woke up. And Owen - I can still feel the lightning just under the surface, like it’s waiting for the right moment to strike. I don’t know what to make of it. It felt like more than just a dream. What do you think, Owen?”

He stroked Devlin’s ears, pondering. For a moment, his hand collided with Kaz’s as they both petted the dog in silence. He smiled, realizing that she, too, was beginning to take comfort in his soft fur and gentle presence. 

“It could be a prophetic dream,” he said, “or a record of something that has already happened. I know both are possible. Then again, it could also be a message or a warning. Have you thought of asking Chukulla? I bet He sent you the dream, since your element was so present when you woke up.” 

The crew called to each other in the silence. Ember’s rich, husky laugh floated towards them across the deck. 

“Just like that?” said Kaz. “I don’t even know how to connect with Chukulla. Do you know how?”

Owen frowned. “I hear it’s different for everyone. My father says to just go inside yourself and ask. I’ve only had a few days to try, but so far it’s worked for me.” 

There was a rustling, and Owen imagined Kaz shifting into a more comfortable position. “Ok,” she said. “I’ll try.” 

Owen continued stroking Devlin, trying to ignore the increasing pressure in his bladder. Hopefully Kaz’s conversation with Chukulla would be brief, and then he could inquire about how such things were done on a boat. He was just beginning to wonder if he could somehow go and come back before Kaz finished when she sighed and spoke. 

“Sweet Dreamer,” she said. “It was real. Vidar ordered his mages and soldiers to attack everyone who opposed him. They killed all the mages and punished everyone who didn’t escape the square, even if they were just there for curiosity.”

“That’s horrible,” said Owen. He paused for a moment, to let the reality settle in. “What about Chel? She can’t have been there, can she?”

“I’m not sure.” Kaz’s voice held a frown. “All Chukulla would say was ‘pay attention.’” 

Owen snorted. “Well that’s helpful.”

“I know,” said Kaz, sounding frustrated. “I don’t know how the battle actually ended either.”

“Well, at least you know more than you did before,” said Owen.

“True,” said Kaz. “It’s good to know how he’s justifying all this. Could you see what you can find out from Ch’usaj about what she told him.” 

“I can certainly try,” said Owen. “She might not tell me. But I’ll have to do it after I find out where to pee.”

He made a move to get out of the hammock. It swung wildly and he felt himself slipping out of it. 

Someone caught him. Someone with enormous arms who lifted him to his feet as though he weighed nothing. 

“Easy there, young man.” The voice was unfamiliar, so deep that Owen felt it resonating in his own chest. “Everyone finds their river legs eventually.” He steadied Owen as he wobbled. “Though some do take longer than others.” 

“Thanks,” said Owen. He hesitated, not knowing the big man’s name. 

“Sweet Dreamer, where are my manners? I’m Reef. Nice to meet you.” 

“Owen,” he said. “And this is my cousin, Alaya.” 

“A pleasure,” rumbled Reef. “Good to have you both on board. Let me know if you need anything.” 

“Thanks Reef,” said Owen. “I could use a privy.” 

“Me too,” added Kaz.

“I’ll get Cascade or Oreeya to show you, Alaya,” said Reef. “As for you, Owen, I’m afraid that unless you need to take a dump, the men just pee over the side.” 

Owen frowned. How many things could go wrong if he tried to do that on his own? Now that he thought about it, he didn’t even know how to swim. So making sure he didn’t fall overboard would have to be his top priority. Helping Kaz was important, but he’d be no use to her if he drowned. “That sounds difficult,” he admitted, reluctantly. 

“Oh come on, man,” said Reef. “It’s not brain surgery. Don’t tell me I need to show you how.” 

At this, Kaz began to laugh. 

“What’s so funny?” asked Reef. Owen started laughing, too, unable to help himself. “Is there some weird cousin-only in-joke about how Owen pees?”

At this, they both started howling. Owen wasn’t even sure what was so funny. He just knew that after the stress of the last few days, the absurdity of the situation was a welcome release. 

“No, Reef,” he gasped finally. “Nothing like that. Didn’t anyone tell you? I’m blind. I’ll have enough trouble finding my way to the edge of the boat, let alone peeing without falling overboard.”

Now Reef let out a deep, delighted chuckle. “I never thought of that,” he said. “I guess it would make it hard to aim.” And all three of them dissolved once more into laughter.

Next Chapter: 33: Kaz - New Acquaintances