As the void swelled within him, Owen tried to shape his song to direct his element. Kaz’s hand was strong and reassuring in his. He was sure now that she had prompted him to sing in the hope that he could once more use his power to knock out the trackers. Well, he had managed to use it to free his hands. Maybe he could do it again. 

The thought scared him. He didn’t want to hurt anyone. But these men had already said they planned to kill him. And he knew that they would take Kaz to Vidar. He had to at least try. 

He called on Ch’usaj in his mind. At once she was there, as powerful as she had been in the sauna, and as angry as she had been at their first meeting. Her fury ripped at him, and he squeezed Kaz’s fingers and dug his hand into Devlin’s fur for the reassurance of feeling something tangible. 

He didn’t have to form his idea into words. Ch’usaj understood, and once more showed him how to tease out threads of nothingness. Something made him uneasy this time. The power felt wilder somehow, like it was raging along with the storm outside. He didn’t think he could hold it. Just as Ch’usaj directed him to loose the threads, he tried to pull back. 

Suddenly the void was no longer inside of him. It was him. He was Ch’usaj and he was drowning in her emptiness. Infinity stretched and writhed. Time was not. 

Then there was something. A sensation. A sound. He focused on it, and suddenly found that there was a him to focus. A sensation. Pressure. Moisture. A sound. A word. Fingers squeezed his hand. Something wet brushed his face. The word was Owen. A name. His name. A familiar voice. Kaz’s voice. Kaz’s fingers. And the wetness on his face was Devlin’s tongue. 

He felt himself coalescing, as if the stuff of him had dispersed into the air and was being gathered together. His edges began to take form, to solidify. He had a body. And a name. And a voice. 

Owen realized there was another sound under the chaos of the storm and Kaz frantically speaking his name. She was shaking his shoulder, he realized dully, and he seemed to be lying down. How had he gotten there? What was that other sound? He felt the vibration in his chest and throat and realized he was humming. The moment he realized this, he stopped. 

“Owen?” Kaz said. “Owen, can you hear me? Did you stop humming because you can hear me?”

“Kaz?” said Owen. It took a couple of tries; his voice was ragged. “What happened?”

“Oh, thank the Dreamer!” Kaz stopped shaking his shoulder and grabbed his hand with both of hers. On his other side, Devlin wagged his tail so hard that his entire body wriggled along Owen’s side. “I didn’t know what to do,” whispered Kaz. She was close to tears. 

Owen tried to sit up. His body felt strange, like he was operating it from far away. 

“Careful,” said Kaz, putting an arm around his shoulders. She moved around behind him so she was supporting his weight. “Do you feel alright?” 

“I think so,” he said. Sitting up helped him feel clearer. It was easier to distinguish where his limbs were at least. Devlin took advantage of his new position to shove his head into Owen’s lap, demanding to be petted. Owen did so. 

“What happened?” he asked Kaz again. 

“I’m not completely sure,” she admitted. “There were these dark lines. It looked like you were sending them towards the trackers. And then - it was like dark lightning. A flash of darkness. I know that’s visual - does that make any sense to you?” 

Owen shuddered, remembering the wild wrongness of his power. “Enough sense,” he said. “Go on.” 

“Anyway, the trackers were blasted backwards and you collapsed. You kept humming, but otherwise you were completely still. I didn’t know what to do, so I just held your hand and kept calling your name. Devlin kept whining and licking your face. I was afraid to let go. I could feel your heartbeat. It was way too slow. I don’t know why I think this - but I think the humming was keeping you alive.” 

Owen took all this in. “How long was I out?” he asked. 

“Not too long,” said Kaz. “I think. It felt like forever, but it might have been only a few minutes.”

“And the trackers?” Owen asked, feeling a sick stirring of foreboding in his stomach. 

“I don’t know,” said Kaz. “They haven’t moved, but I haven’t really been paying attention to them.”

Just then, there was a scuffle over by the door. The voices were raised high enough that they could be heard even over the rain. 

“I don’t want to go back in there,” said a high tenor voice, made even higher by fear. “It’s dangerous.”

“It’s not safe out here, either Stan,” said a second man. He sounded gruffer, and a little less terrified. 

“But Mattias-”

“Come on, man. We can’t negotiate with a storm. But maybe we can talk to them. Look - things have calmed down in there.”

“Who’s there?” Owen asked Kaz. “I thought it was just us and the trackers in here.”

“A couple of messengers,” said Kaz. “I think they made a run for it when - well, you know.” 

In the awkward silence, Owen heard the slight rise and fall in the storm noise that suggested that the door had opened and closed. 

“Excuse me,” said the second voice - Mattias, Owen thought vaguely. “Is it safe to come back in now?” 

“Yes, of course you can come back in,” said Kaz. “It’s all over now.” 

Now Owen heard two new sets of footsteps, muffled under the thunder and the rain. As they crossed the floor to stand at a cautious distance from him and Kaz, he noted that they sounded like light, compact men with the controlled tread of athletes. 

“Are you sure it’s safe?” It was the first man - Stan. “I mean, what did he do to them?” 

“I’m honestly not sure. I mean, he was able to knock them out before. Listen, the important thing is that it’s over. And now we can sort out what happened and move forward.” Kaz sounded like she was trying to convince herself of this. 

“I’m not moving anywhere until I find out what he did to them,” said the first messenger. “And whether we have to worry about him doing it again.”

“I’m not sure what happened to them,” said Kaz. “But I hope you saw that we both acted out of self defense. And unless you two are considering attacking us, you don’t have any reason to worry.” 

“Are you sure?” said the second man. “I mean, I respect that you’re the Sun King’s daughter, if what they said is true, but after what we just saw, I really don’t want to be on your bad side. Or his, either.”

“You’re making a very good start by not trying to kill or capture us,” said Kaz. “I’d like to find out what happened to them too. Would you two mind checking for me? Please.”

There was a long pause. 

“Come on,” said the first man. “Let’s get this over with.”

The messengers moved in different directions. There was another long pause. Too long.

“Well?” Owen asked when he couldn’t stand it anymore. 

“Owen,” said Kaz very quietly. “They’re dead.” 

Owen felt himself freeze. 

“No,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” said Kaz. 

Now he knew why he had felt such foreboding. “No,” he said. “I don’t want-”

“I know Owen,” said Kaz. She held him tightly from behind. “At least they won’t be after us anymore.”

There was a pleading note to her voice that he could not stand. He leaned forward, out of her embrace, and climbed laboriously to his feet. Devlin was there, leaning against his leg. Owen reached down and grabbed the leash. 

“Owen,” said Kaz. “I’m sorry. I know you didn’t mean to, but-”

“But what?” shouted Owen, turning towards her. “But what, Kaz? It doesn’t matter that I killed people because I got rid of our enemies? No! I refuse to think like that! I swore that I wouldn’t let Her change me. But I guess I didn’t get a choice.”

“Devlin” he said, turning. “Find the wall.” 

Owen followed his dog’s direction and nudged the edge of a cushion with his foot. He sat down and shifted until he found the wall and leaned against it. Devlin, sensing his distress, attempted to climb into his lap. He was far too large to fit, but he succeeded in making Owen smile very faintly and ruffle his ears. Devlin’s tail thumped against his leg. 

Owen leaned back, ignoring the soft speech of the others. How would he ever come to terms with having killed three men? He had become a killer in the space of a heartbeat. It didn’t matter that it had essentially been an accident. His power was dangerous, and could not be trusted. 

Stroking Devlin’s back, Owen sat lost in thought with the growing conviction that he would never again use his power to harm a living thing. Helping Kaz reign in her power was one thing. But he would never again attempt to hurt, even if it would help them on their mission. He would do whatever he could to avoid killing again.

Next Chapter: 25: Kaz - Consequences