“What part of our conversation gave you the idea that I would be okay with him having my number?” I hissed into the phone. I wanted to scream at Roger for how dumb he was being, but knowing my dad he was on high alert waiting to find something to bust me on.

            “Look the guy just want to explain himself.” Roger was half paying attention to the conversation, I could hear whatever game he was playing in the background. “He knows he embarrassed himself and he wants to make it up to you!”

            “Embarrassed is an understatement” I mumble as I pulled myself out of the bathtub. I pull the bottle of liquor chugging the rest of the bottle. I’d have to make my way into my parent’s cabinet at some point this week to refill. I needed my brain fuzzy to even comprehend how Roger thought this was a smart idea. He should have known by now that him, Cassidy, and Luna were the closest I’ve planned on ever being with any person.

            Gun shots and police sirens filled my ear. “Roger, could you turn the stupid game off for one second and listen to me! I told you this was a guy I wasn’t interested in becoming friends with and you went behind my back and broke my trust!”

            He sighed. “Okay yes, I will admit it was wrong of me to give him your number without asking, but Kat I’m nervous for you. You barely talk to anyone other than us and when you do it’s only to get some kind of drug from them.”

            “You don’t seem to have an issue with that when I score for us.”

            “Hold the sass please I’m being honest here. Both Cassidy and I plan on going to college while the most you’ve told me you plan on doing is moving out of your parents’ house. You’ve never even worked a day in your life and you can’t afford to rent a house by getting plastered each night. Do you know how scared I am to find out that you overdosed while I’m away? I’m terrified. Now here’s someone who you talked to for a full conversation before you even knew he was a drug dealer. I’m not saying you must be best friends with the guy or even like him, use him as practice to be social with people again.”

            I hated when he was right. I may or may not have developed a habit of ignoring most of the people we had grown up with unless we were at a party where I had to be politely social. When Luna and I were closer it was hard to really be friends with anyone else, the minute the attention wasn’t on her she would get all moody and would either stop talking to me or completely flip out. After an incident where she threatened to kill herself after I left to go to the drive in with Roger and Cassidy instead of lying around at her house waiting to see if Michael would call her or not which ending with her completely ghosting me for a week freaking me out, it was just easier to distance myself. Less stress on me and everyone else.

            “Fine.” I finally say. “I’ll give him a chance, but the minute he gets all weird again he’s gone.”

            “A chance is all I ask for Kat, we’re gonna be adults soon we gotta grow up a little.” I roll my eye’s and hang up on him. Both him and Cassidy had been talking more and more about turning eight-teen and finally being adults and going to college and it was starting to get on my nerves. Roger had already gotten into his dream college through a soccer scholarship during the summer, spending the first half at mandatory pre-training and team building to prove he deserved his spot on the team. Cassidy on the other hand was applying to every medical school she could. She didn’t really care which one took her as long as she was able to move out of her aunt’s house. All summer they were both on me about where was I going to go, did I want to go to college or a trade school, did I even know what I wanted to do? After hearing the same excuses over and over again of me wanting to experience some freedom for a year and figure myself out away from my dad they stopped asking about school, instead focusing their energy on making sure I wouldn’t die while they were away.

            Have you looked at the apartments in the city to see which will be leasing next year? You’ll have a much better chance at getting in if you apply early. What about jobs? I sent you that list of places that were desperately going to need people once all the college kids leave for school. What about your mom’s restaurant, I know you want distance from your dad but it’s probably a sure job if you really need one. What about budgeting? Do you have any money saved up for emergencies because you can never know what’s going to happen. You won’t just be strung out on drugs the whole time will you Kat? We’re worried about you ya know we just want to look out for you.

            They were so all in in helping me do what I told them I felt would be perfect for me that I felt bad for lying to their face. It was true that I wanted to get away from my dad and have a normal life for once, but the truth was that I was only staying for Luna. I already knew she wasn’t planning on going to college, or even graduating. She was dead set on staying in this town waiting on Michael for the rest of her life, and if I wasn’t here to keep an eye on her no one would. If I at least go an apartment, I could get her to stay with me and maybe there was a chance I could finally get Michael out of her life by forcing her to go out to other bars and meeting other guys. It was a pathetic useless thought but I’d rather have senseless hope than to leave her and be the reason she did something dumb.

            I looked back down at my phone staring at the text from Jack. ‘Can we talk?’ What was there even talk about? He made a move and I rejected him it was as simple as that, there was no need for us to keep talking. Roger did have a point though, before the comment about me being dykie, he was the most interesting conversation I had had at a party. At least more interesting than the regular yo this one time I took this one drug, dude I tripped for hours. You know where else I could get that?

            Sighing I make my way back into my room where Luna was still passed out. I put my finger under her nose, checking to see if she was still breathing just to be safe. I reached under my bed, pulling out the first pill I felt from the bag I tapped up there, and opened the window to sit out on the roof. The cool chill of the wind cleared the fogginess of the alcohol just enough that it was at a light buzz. I took in a deep breath; it had just rained and I absolutely loved the smell of the wet grass.

            “Let’s get this fucking over with.” I say to myself before swallowing the pill and dialing his number.

            “Hello?”

            “You have two minutes for whatever it is you want to talk about. If after two minutes you’re still a douche then I’m hanging up and we do not speak again.”

            “Straight to it, alright I like it makes it easier for me to get right into it.” He cleared his throat. “I was a massive asshole I’ll admit it. What I said was uncalled for and I don’t even know why I said it, I promise you what I originally wanted to say was so much better. I’ll admit I got nervous and said the first thing that popped in.” I’m not sure if it was the alcohol or the pills but something about the way he was nervously apologizing had me at least interested to hear him out.

            “Well, what were you planning on saying to me?” He had at least a minute left and if what he was planning on saying was somehow worse than the dyke comment I’d have even more reasons to show Roger why I didn’t want him around.

            He sighed “What I wanted to say was I don’t usually go for girls that are so headstrong and independent, but something about you makes me want to talk to you more just so I could hear your voice.”

            I laughed “There’s no way that’s what you were actually going to say, you’re making that up.”

            “Dead honest!” he exclaimed “You were the first person I had talked to that night that held a decent conversation that wasn’t just ‘do you want more alcohol?’”

            “I swear the conversations at parties get worse at every one I go to.” I replied as I lied down. “I’m pretty sure Marty Louis was speaking in gibberish when we were talking by the pool that night. I could only understand every third word.”

            “Is that the guy who tried to get all the girls to jump in the pool with him by yelling out ‘every titty in my face gets a puff from my bong!’?”

            “Ah yes, Marty has never been the smartest I’m surprised he knows how to dress himself.” We both busted out laughing.

            “So, it looks like the two minutes have passed.” He noted “Have I earned the right to keep talking, or has any possibility of us being friendly passed?”

            I got quiet. I will admit the conversation was more entertaining than I was expecting and even though I didn’t believe his story of being too nervous and messing up his pick-up line, he at least seemed earnest enough in trying to make up for it.

            “Lucky you.” I finally said. “You earned yourself another ten minutes.”

------

            The sun began to rise over the trees. The window to Luna’s room reflected it in my direction causing my eyes to burn and water.

            “Oh my God how long have we been talking?” I pull the phone away from my ear, the clock read five thirty in the morning. “Fuck, we have school in like three hours!”

            “Yeah, I noticed about an hour ago how much time had passed but I was worried if I said something you’d hang up.” He yawned “In the long run it was probably a bad idea I’ll barely be able to pay attention today.” 

            I stretched out my back, lying on the roof for seven hours wasn’t as easy as it was when I was twelve talking to Luna through our walkie talkies. I looked in the window making sure Luna was still asleep. She had rolled the blanket up into a ball and was cuddling it instead of wearing it. At some point she was going to throw that in my face that I had neglected her to the point that she had to hold onto the blanket instead of me.

            “I have an idea, how about we skip school and go out for breakfast and then find somewhere nice to nap, I got some hammocks in my back yard.” He said in my ear snapping me back to the conversation.

            “As much as I’d love to skip and sleep, I’m on full lockdown. My dad is supposed to drive me to school and pick me up each day and checking the attendance every week to make sure I’m there. For the first time in years I have to actually stay a full day at school.” I slid open the window as slowly as I could to keep from making any noise. The room reeked of alcohol, at some point in the night Luna had snagged another drink from wherever she had them hidden. It was almost pathetic the way she cuddled the bottle, the fact that I couldn’t remember any time she didn’t fall asleep with one after she met Michael. If she had never met him everything would be different.

            “Well, it is my fault you were up so late so its only fair that I suffer along with you.” I jumped at the sound of Jack’s voice. I had completely forgotten that he was on the phone with me. “I’ll even bring you a coffee as an apology.”

            “Mix in a little something to help me get through the day and we have a deal.”

            “You are something else Kat Thompson.” He laughed. “And I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.”

            “Oh just wait, you’ll figure it out soon enough.”

------

            My lungs burned with ever breath I took. Despite my immense collection of every sort of drug I never seemed to have any rolling paper for weed. I had to resort to using a page from an old book I hadn’t touched in years. Terrible idea. Every puff felt like I was inhaling bleach, scorching my insides with the toxic fumes I probably filled them with. After three puffs I had to put it out, whatever little high I had was going to have to do. I haven’t been sober around my dad since Daniel, I don’t think I’d know how to act around him without something in my system.

I turned on the shower to get the steam going, dumping some body wash under the stream so it would cover the smell.

            “Luna, for the last time you have to wake up! My dad will be up here in thirty minutes and you cannot be here.” I shook her as aggressively as I could but she only mumbled and pushed me away. “I’m not kidding Luna get up now!” I leaned back down to yank the blanket from her arms when she reached up and pulled me into her.           

            “Shh, just stay with me a minute.” She whispered into my ear.

            “Just stay with me a minute, please Kat.” Luna cried as she slumped down on the side walk. I had just spent the last twenty minutes chasing her after she had stormed out of Michaels house. She had ignored me the whole way, walking who knows where on a street I barely knew.

She had finally stopped and turned to me after I threatened to go home, that I didn’t want to come but she had forced me to so Michael’s friend wouldn’t be alone.

            “Please don’t go.” She said “Just stay with me for a minute, please Kat.” I sighed looking around. It was late, the cheap street lights barely covered the sidewalk.

            “Can we please just go home?” I begged, wrapping my arms around me. “It’s cold and dark and I really don’t know where we are.” She looked up at me, a tear slowly falling down her cheek.           

            “Please.” She whimpered. I sighed and did another look around to make sure there was no one around before sitting down. She lied her head against me and started crying.

            “What happened?”

            “I found a bra in Mike’s room.” Of course, she did. At this point I could open a museum full of all the things Michael had in his house that wasn’t Luna’s. Last week there was the eyeliner that wasn’t the brand she used, before that it was a crop top she found in his car.

            “When I confronted him on it he told me I shouldn’t have been snooping but it was right there on his bed! He didn’t even try to hide it.”

            “Of course, he didn’t Luna! Every time you catch him you always take him back. He knows he doesn’t need to hide it because you won’t leave him.” She started to cry harder. It was almost every other week we went through this; I couldn’t understand why she always came back to him. Roger had stopped talking to him and Lunas by this point. He said he didn’t want to be connected to a dumbass who couldn’t get a girl his age and he couldn’t stand Luna always defending him. Every time they were in the same room together it always turned into a huge fight. Luna was a dumbass who didn’t have any self-respect and Roger was a pathetic loser who didn’t understand the meaning of family.

            “Can we go now?” I asked “You can cry about Michael back in my bed. I already know he’s going to call you in an hour and somehow rope you back in.”

            “You’re a terrible friend.” She mumbled “You don’t even care that I’m hurting.” She nuzzled her head closer to me and started snoring.

            “I can’t stay with you Luna not this time.” I pull her up out of the bed forcing her to stand up. She whined as she opened her eyes wiping away the gunk from them. “Now come on, gather up your stuff and head out the window. I promise you when we get back from school, we can cuddle all you want.” She glared at me before putting on her pants and grabbing her bag.

            “I’m going to skip today.” Her voice cracked like she hadn’t spoke in weeks. “I’m still rolling off of the Bliss I took yesterday.”

            “You took Bliss? I thought you swore against ever taking it again.” I looked over to face her and see if she was lying to mess with me or telling the truth, but she had already made her way out of the window.