03
Her head throbbed, heavy and enormous. Punishment from the previous night’s indulgences but no matter how much it ached she could not seem to get her anonymous savior in the hoodie sweatshirt out of her head.
Even bloody and bruised, he was handsome with his short, messy,hair and eyes the color of moss. He dressed as if he didn’t care about appearances. Old, worn in clothes made for comfort, not for style. But it was something she noticed about his eyes that made her feel sad, like he was missing a piece of himself. It was something she could relate to, never feeling felt comfortable in her own skin, like her life was some cheap tee shirt that had been left in the dryer too long, shrinking two sizes too small. She relentlessly tested the confines of her cotton shelled, too-tight life hoping for a better fit.
The mysterious savior in the hoodie was certainly the kind of a boy she could imagine herself kissing in a drunken mistake. Not that she would ever see him again. Not like someone that looked like him would ever look at someone that looked like her and she tucked him out of her mind.
Eliza wiped her face with the towel and with a heavy sigh took a long look at the reflection in the mirror. She was as plain as any Jane ever was and being ordinary just wasn’t good enough in a city full of extraordinary things.
It wasn't good enough for her schoolmates, it sure wasn't good enough for her parents who had looked forward to having a daughter they could sign up for dance classes, maybe dress her up in a tutu like Addison. If only she was more like Addison maybe things would’ve been easier for her.
Everything came so easy for those other, more perfect girls. Simple, normal things like talking and boys and talking to boys. Polite conversation made her tongue feel too big for her mouth, mangling the words even before they could pass her lips. But she didn’t really want to be like Addison. Didn’t really want to be like anyone for that matter. Eliza just wanted to be okay with being herself. The self loathing self-examination quickly came to an end with a swift bang on the bathroom door.
“Are you almost done in there?” her mother called out from beyond the door.
She groaned. She couldn’t even have bathroom time without someone getting all on her ass, “I’ll be out in a minute! Daaaaaaymn!”
Impeccably pressed and dressed in her grey plaid skirt and last year's pale blue cashmere sweater set topped off with grandmother’s pearls dangling loosely around her toothpick neck, her hair was a perfect puff of summer mist sandy blonde, sprayed and combed into a flammable hard candy poof all courtesy of Clairol, Kathryn Parker- Ellis was pacing, wearing holes in the carpet as Eliza tried to hurry past, wanting to avoid any kind of conflict but her mom moved quicker than she had expected. She reached out and grabbed Eliza’s arm to stop her, “What is this? What happened to your arm?”
Eliza eyes quickly scanned her arm where a large, ugly, black and blue had materialized, “Uh? That would be a bruise.”
Katherine’s voice was full of panic, “Are you all right? Did something happen?”
Oh great. Here she goes again. Eliza rolled her eyes and shrugged it off. It was bad enough she blew off her curfew but if her mother had any idea what happened in the park she would never be allowed out of the house again.
“Don’t go into convulsions. I must’ve bumped into something. Next time I go out I’ll wrap myself up in bubble wrap if that’ll make you feel better.”
In too much of a hurry to continue her interrogation, Katherine let her daughter go and headed into the bathroom.
"Morning, Princess," her dad smiled from his post at the stove, cooking up a batch of his famous French toast. It was a rare sight as of late and she was happy to see it make a reappearance even though she cringed at the endearment. She wasn’t a princess, far from it. Somewhere deep down inside, his words gave her the warm fuzzies but she couldn't help but feel like a failure. There were so many things her dad thought she was, that he wanted her to be but she could never live up to any of them. Katherine had always been the sparkling diamond in the family who, back in her day, was runner up to Miss Something or other. She used to be cool once too, turning psychedelic artist after she met her father, a former love bead wearing, guitar playing hippie. Before she was born something changed and her parents went legit, transforming into a three piece suit wearing accountant and a museum office drone. It was an odd couple but they were glamorous compared to their plain and dull daughter, not a drop of spectacular in any way, not like how they wanted her to be anyway.
"Whatcha reading," Eliza stopped to pull the book her brother was reading at the kitchen table from his hand.
"Give it back," Wil whined, "You're gonna lose my place."
" Ellie, don't tease your brother," Dad warned her from the stove.
Eliza looked at the cover of the over read paperback copy of Lord of the Rings, "Did you take this from my room?"
"Mom said I could!"
Eliza sighed, returning the book, "Just don't lose it."
Happily, Wil returned to his page just as Katherine called for him to go.
“So what’s the occasion, old man,” Eliza asked as she pushed herself onto the counter and snatched a piece of the over cooked bacon that was cooling on his mother’s floral breakfast china.
Dad swatted her leg with the dishtowel that was resting upon the counter, “Get down from there. You know your mother hates when you do that.”
Ignoring the command, she continued to strip apart the overcooked pork with her fingers. “So where is Katherine off to? Is Bergdorf’s having a sale?”
Her father gave her a crooked look, “Your mother's taking Wil to a birthday party. So I was thinking… how about we make a day out of it?”
She looked up from her bacon with dread, a whole afternoon alone with Dad? She wasn’t sure she was up for all that excitement. He’d been on this whole be your kids pal trip recently, desperate to find a topic of conversation or an activity they could both be a part of, like he was being paid time and a half for the effort.
“So what do you want to do? We could go get your hair cut?”
“That’s not exactly a group activity.”
“Do you want to look for a dress for the Roth’s Christmas party?
“Okay, where is it?”
“Where’s what?”
“The list of Katherine approved activities? I haven’t gone to the Roth’s Christmas party since it was the annual Rothstein Hanukkah party. Doesn’t anyone remember when they were Jewish?”
“Then what would you like to do?”
“You don’t have to entertain me. Really. I’m a big girl.”
“You’re not too cool to spend the day/be seen with your old man now are you?”
That was a laugh. She was not too cool for anything. She thought she put up a good front though. Before she had to give him an answer the phone began to ring.
Saved!
She took another piece of bacon and grabbed for the phone on the wall, “Talk to me.”
Dad swatted her with a dishtowel again.
“Parker-Ellis residence,” She handed the phone to her dad, jumped down off the counter and headed down the hall to the bathroom.
“Don’t go too far. I’m supposed to have a talk with you with about your little transgression last night.”
Eliza threw her head back and groaned. Damn it! Almost free. At least it was her dad that wanted to do the talking and not Katherine, she figured as she flopped on the floral Ethan Allen couch. Dad would go easy on her, dad would understand. Katherine on the other hand was not interested in being her friend, she was more the elephant who never forgot, keeping a running tab of Eliza’s wrong doings, never forgetting them.
That same night, Eliza waited alone in the long line outside of Spot Light, a dance club downtown on Essex Street, where her and Addison's favorite band, Claiming Beauty, was playing a show.They had made these plans months ago but Addison was running late. Their earlier phone call only fueled Eliza's annoyance at her friend.
"About tonight... I'm going to have to meet you at the club."
"What the hell, Adds? We had these plans for forever. Claiming Beauty never plays."
"But it's Nora, Ellie, and her parents are out of town visiting her grandmother overnight."
"Again with fucking Nora. How long is she gonna screw up our plans?"
" I'm not ditching you. I'll be there by 11. Eleven-thirty the absolute latest. They won’t go on before that. Besides the opening band is shit."
"Fine. Whatever."
To be honest, Addison wasn't wrong . The opening act, Smash Suckers, were shit, one hit wonders that would be forgotten in a year. Missing them perform was no big loss but the sudden change in plans had made Eliza wish for something terrible to happen to Nora.
If you asked Eliza she didn't give a damn Addison was off hooking up, Addison hooked up all the time. She was quickly becoming the lesbian, bi and just plain curious girls right of passage at Fulton Academy. No, this was strictly about loyalty, about their plans, about their rapidly changing friendship.
Okay. Maybe it was a tiny bit about how a newbie as vapid as Nora could come between a lifetime of slumber parties and all night phone calls about nothing but that wasn't how Eliza saw it in the moment. She only wanted her bestie to act like her bestie and keep a plan for a change.
The line continued to grow, curling around the block, like an unruly snake. Eliza waited a few minutes more before she stormed off to get a soda.
The bodega was bright and harsh on her eyes.The shelves were lined with forgotten foods, long past their prime, left to die. Eliza adjusted her backpack and flashed the cashier a grin and a shrug.
The cashier, with too much time on his hands, watched her every move as she slowly scanned the aisles. Eliza looked back at the cashier who is still eyeing as she walked toward the brightly lit row of soda displays. She ran her hand along the glass leaving streaks in the condensation.
When she got to the last case she yawned and pressed her forehead against the glass. She collects herself and she sees that the cashier is still watching her. The door bell chimed and the cashier at last turned his attention from her. Patron’s face is hidden. Eliza grabs a soda from the case before stashing a snack cake into a pocket. She pulls a wad of paper mixed in with cash from her pants and organizes them as she walks to the front of the store. Eliza places the soda on the counter along with some money.
The cashier's suspicious gaze was back upon her, "That all?"
Eliza nodded and leaned over the counter, pocketing a pack of gum. Serves him right. Being an object of suspicion was the worst.