David Alan Dedin
Baby, Baby I’m Taken With the Notion
Thirty-Five
Baby Baby, I’m Taken with the Notion
1992
Hisssssssss…
The sliding glass door to the ER of the Saint Francis Medical Center hissed open as Alan rushed Guinevere inside on a wheelchair, shouting, “I NEED SOME HELP HERE!”
A nurse appeared at his side, “What’s going on, Sir?”
“She’s having a baby!” Alan exclaimed. “Her water broke about fifteen minutes ago!”
“Contractions?” the nurse asked Guinevere.
“AAARRRRAGGGH!!!” Gwen responded.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
A second nurse appeared – “Maternity ward?”
“The maternity ward,” the first nurse repeated, handing off the new patient. Alan went to follow, but the nurse held up her hand. “Are you the father?”
“Err,” Alan stammered. “I’m one of her best friends.”
“Family only,” the nurse said firmly.
“But wait, that’s not fair” –
“Family only,” the nurse repeated, pointing to the waiting area. “You can wait there.”
Alan looked deflated as the nurse left him behind. He went to sit down, but a thought popped into his head – I have to call Bam-Bam.
Finding a pay phone, Alan inserted a quarter and dialed. The phone rang six times before an answering machine picked up: “Sup? It’s Dan. Leave a message.”
Beeeeeeeeeep!
“Bam-bam…err, I mean Dan…this is Alan, Guinevere’s friend. Listen, we’re at the hospital…Gwen’s water broke at the restaurant, and it looks like she’s having the baby. I’m in the ER at St. Francis. Please come here when you get this.”
Hanging up the phone, Alan turned towards the waiting area. It was sterile, lit by harsh fluorescents, and the chairs were the color of lunchmeat.
Taking a seat, Alan waited for the inevitable.
* * * * *
A few hours later, Dan arrived from his shift at the bar – “Sup?”
“Gwen’s been in there for hours,” Alan told him. “They said she’s doing fine, but they won’t give me any information because I’m not family.”
“Sucks,” Dan said.
“But you’re the father, right?” Alan asked.
“Yup,” Dan said.
“Then they’ll probably let you in,” Alan told him. “They’ll probably let you see her in her room. Do you want to do that?”
Dan thought for a moment – “No.”
Alan looked flabbergasted. “Dan, that’s your girlfriend in there! And she’s about to give birth to your kid! Don’t you want to be in the room with her?”
“Nope.”
“Why not?”
“Dude – just, nope.”
Alan settled back in his chair angrily.
The nurse appeared – “Alan Lavinski?”
“That’s me!”
“Guinevere has asked that you come into the room with her.”
Alan shot up in a flash. He turned to Dan – “Are you sure you don’t want to come?”
“Nope,” he said.
“Follow me,” the nurse said, leading Alan towards the maternity ward.
* * * * *
“Schnookums,” Guinevere said, her face beaded with sweat as she lay on the hospital bed. Her parents hadn’t yet arrived – Jacob & Audrey were rushing back from out of town – and she was alone in her room as the contractions got closer. “I’m so glad you’re here!”
“Schnookums,” he repeated, rushing up and taking her hand. “Dan’s here – he’s just outside. Do you want me to have the nurse get him?”
“No,” she said. I want you to be with me.” Her face contorted in pain as another wave of contractions rocked her body.
A nurse appeared. “It’s almost time.” She looked at Gwen’s vitals.
“Do you know if it’s a boy or girl?” Alan asked, making conversation to take Gwen’s mind off the pain. The epidural was only just starting to kick in, and Gwen could still feel every contraction, kick, and stomach roll.
“A girl,” Gwen gasped, breathing fast – “a-foo, a-foo, a-foo!”
“Do you have a name yet?” Alan held her hand.
“Stephanie,” Gwen said. “I want to call her Stephanie!”
“That’s a beautiful name.”
“AAARRRRAGGGH!!!” Gwen said back.
“I’m looking forward to meeting Stephanie,” Alan said.
“And I’m sure she wants to meet you,” Gwen said breathlessly.
“AAARRRRAGGGH!!!”
“Nurse!” Alan yelled, sensing the contractions were closer.
Both nurse and doctor appeared in the room, and after vitals were taken, the doctor looked at Gwen and smiled – “Are you ready?”
“AAARRRRAGGGH!!!”
“She’s ready.” The nurse unlocked Gwen’s bed and scooted it towards the orderlies. “Let’s go have a baby,” the nurse added.
The orderlies tried to push the bed into the hallway, but Gwen wouldn’t release her grip on Alan’s hand – “Come with me.”
Alan looked surprised. “Gwen, I’m not your breathing coach. And I don’t know anything about having a ba” –
“COME WITH ME,” she repeated, squeezing his hand in a death-grip.
Unable to say no, Alan did as he was told…
* * * * *
“AAARRRRAGGGH!!!” Gwen screamed, as the baby crowned in the OR.
Alan held her hand as best as he could, but the sight of all the doctors – and blood – made it all that he could do just to stay upright. He looked at Gwen – “Push, Schnookums, PUSH!”
“AAARRRRAGGGH!!!”
“That’s it, PUSH Schnookums!
“AAARRRRAGGGH!!!”
There was a brief moment of silence before the doctor stood up with a baby in his hands – slap! slap! The newborn started to cry as the nurse wrapped it in a towel – it’s a girl – and laid it gently near Guinevere’s shoulder as Gwen cried and muttered, “Stephanie…”
She now had a daughter.
And its father had been there for her birth…