Chapter 22

The perfect shot called for the perfect rock. That was what Schoona had always told the new Ratters. This shot needed to launch out of the sewer, battle a crosswind, and arc enough to go nearly one hundred meters to hit its target. This one was going to need to be a damn near perfect shot.

Shooting in the tunnels was a little easier than firing of rocks in the upperworld. No wind being the main benefit. But the tunnels had other advantages too. For one, down here you could bounce shots too. But the shape of the rock didn’t make a lot of difference with rats. Their keen ears could often hear the click of a crossbow being released, and they would jump in a random direction to avoid the shot. So the tumble of a misshapen rock didn’t matter much. In fact, Schoona felt the random roll of a rock canceled out the random skip of the rat, bringing things back into balance.

But humans weren’t as crafty at dodging as rats were, and this shot called for a better, well-rounded ball.

Smirking in anticipation Schoona dug into his shot bag. Not bothering to open it enough to see in for fear of spilling the lead balls, he felt around blindly for the heaviest and the smoothest. At last he found one that seemed perfect and pulled it out to examine.

This one was one of the ones he had made himself. A perfectly spherical drop of lead. It was a little heavier than a rock; but it would leave a dent in the helmet of that elf-fucker and maybe, if he did it right, put a crack in his skull.

Schoona leaned back into the sewer grate opening and tightened the crank on his crossbow a little extra to account for the extra weight of the lead shot. Through the short and narrow gutter hole he could still see his target standing on his wagon stage and shouting his twaddle over the heads of his supporters, but barely over the volume of the goblin protesters. The shiny bronze cone-shaped helmet of Kletchkii leader, Korz Lytol, was the perfect target.

Schoona carefully placed the shot in the sling pouch of his large pellet crossbow. He could feel his heart beating in excitement as he leaned back out of the sewer drain, to align his sight. This was going to be great.

Watching from his sniper’s position, he could see the whole of the Chimera Gate framed in the narrowness of the sewer chute. He had come here before many a time to ease his stress by launching rocks from his pellet bow into the crowds of humans and goblins waiting to enter Khoma or selling wares outside of the gate. Break couple pots, bruise a couple heads; the mischief made him feel better.

This little drain chute was his favorite. It was tall enough to stand inside, but low to the ground out on the street and naturally angled. Its mouth rose a bit above the roadway thanks to erosion. The resulting eternal puddle in front helped keep it free from anything that would block his line of fire, and he personally made sure the inside was also clear of debris.

Only once had he come even close to being caught at his sniping hobby and that was because some gob had the misfortune of walking in front of Schoona just as he fired. The rock had broken the turd’s ankle. Worst of all, the little fucker had reported it to Captain Inpoko of all the tunaats. Fortunately the big dumb bugbear had made the mistake of asking Schoona to investigate it.

Schoona told him that he had caught two orc kids and beat the crap out of them. That was good enough for Inpoko. He hated orcs as much as he hated elves. Stupid bugbear. Case closed.

Out the slit, Schoona watched the pointy-helmeted speaker continuing his speech despite the hail of rocks, mud, and whatever else the crowd of goblins on the Warren side of the gate could throw at him. Most of the projectiles fell well short of the target, landing instead on the shields of the Greys who formed a wall that kept the Kletchkii on their side of the gate. On the nearside there was a small line of the Watch manning a hastily built barricade to keep the Warren goblins back and their projectiles out of range of the Kletchkii.

None other than Captain Inpoko himself was at the Watch’s head. Though they were a smaller force keeping at bay a much larger crowd, they weren’t doing a half-bad job. Any one that crossed the line drawn in the mud by Inpoko got their head cracked. The bugbear had a small collection of unconscious “prisoners” piled off to the side for arrest. They would receive a fine of twenty silvers and then be released. Inpoko would also “release” the bodies of those that died “accidentally” in the course of “administering order” for half that amount.

The Watch had many captains, but Inpoko was certainly the most effective. Some of the others, like Captain Podak and Captain Syg were better respected, but like the Greys they were less feared. If Podak were after you, you could get a half day’s head start by having a friend tell him you were innocent and that you were going to turn yourself in. If you told Captain Inpoko that, he would likely hold your friend hostage until you showed up, or until Gerald made him release your friend with a fine for helping a fugitive. Schoona didn’t like Inpoko, but he respected him. That was why he had only fired small rocks at him today.

The pellet crossbow was the favorite weapon of the Ratters. Most were small, easy to carry things, perfect for the tunnels because they carried just enough punch to kill a rat at 50 meters. And since they fired rocks you always had plenty of shot available to pick up in the tunnels. Schoona’s pellet bow was special though. It was a modified heavy crossbow he had gotten from a dwarf. Intended for use on the giant rats that lived in the mines down south, it could kill a man at 50 meters and splatter a rat at well over 100. Schoona loved the feel of the carved heartwood, the best and strongest in the land. He loved the extra punch that it provided. A punch he wanted Korz to feel.

“Hey, Schoona,” a voice called from down the tunnel, just as he fired.

Thwamp.

The shot twitched right as it slipped out of the pouch. The lead shot quickly distinguished itself from the other clutter that the goblin protesters were flinging up by flying harder and faster. Korz turned as if he spotted it flying past a meter to his left. One of his chain-mail armored body guards collapsed, grabbing at his chest. A cheer went up from the Warren side.

“Damn you, Guluch!” Schoona pulled his crossbow back onto the narrow tunnel ledge so he could rewind it. “I had him lined up, you pig-fucker.”

It took his eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness of the narrow side tunnel, but when they did he could see his fellow Ratter heading towards him. Schoona wanted to slap the dumbass but he was too far away and with the heavy crossbow being almost as long as the tunnel was wide it would have been too much of a hassle to set it aside and go give him the ass-kicking he deserved. He settled for mumbling curses as he dug out another near perfect ball for the next shot.

“What do you want?!”

“I was wondering if you saw them.”

“Saw who?” Schoona asked.

“Those goblins Podak told us to look for. You know the Tao gobs that the coal gob said were killers.” The goblin was skinny and lanky like a lot of the Ratters, he still wore his rat fur–trimmed cloak everywhere he went like, it was something to be proud of. He would be a while in learning the truth about being a Ratter.

His litter-brother had sworn he was good at finding things and keeping his mouth shut, which was usually good enough to qualify as a Ratter. But to Schoona it seemed clear where most of the brains in that litter had gone, and it wasn’t to either brother. Fortunately for them, their sister Remsa was a gobi of the quality that could ask for favors and get them. She had dated several of the Ratters and had been seeing Schoona lately.

“No, I didn’t see them.” Schoona could see the confusion of the young gob’s face. He rattled his crossbow for emphasis. “I was doing something else.”

“Well, Edjer says he seen them come through.” Guluch pointed back up the tunnel towards the direction he had come as if he thought Schoona had forgotten where he had stationed Edjer. “He followed them and says he saw them change into their Tao shirts. They had weapons when they came through too.”

Schoona paused his rewinding of the crossbow and sighed. “You know Nermel is full of shit, right? This is probably just another one of his stories to get himself out of trouble.”

“But they fit the description.” The new Ratter looked confused, as if it had to all be true since one part of it was true. His sister was naive too. That was why everyone liked her. “He’s following them now. They’re headed towards the docks. He sent me to get you.”

The gob seemed so convinced. Shit, Schoona thought to himself. He had to check it out just in case. Quickly he loaded a shot in the sling pouch again. “All right. Fine. I got to do something first.”

Schoona pushed the crossbow loaded with the near perfect shot back into the drain chute.

“What are you doing?” Guluch approached him to pear up the chute and see what he was aiming at.

“Shut up and stay out of my way.” Schoona peered down the beam, directing it at the pointy bronze hat again.

He glanced around and was not surprised to see that things had not changed much since his first shot. The wounded bodyguard was sitting off to the side on a bench with his shirt off. Broken collar bone, maybe a cracked rib. Schoona smiled in the dark.

The Greys were clearly more agitated. Their leader was talking to Inpoko in the middle of the open ground between the two groups. The Grey was hiding behind his shield as he talked to the bugbear. Inpoko, always the showman, was ignoring the bits of debris coming down around them. For a moment he thought about giving the pompous bugbear a reminder that he wasn’t invincible.

Schoona felt the new Ratter slip around behind him to try to guess his target. “Are you trying to shoot Captain Inpoko?”

“No, you dumbass.” He looked at him in surprise. Why would he think that? The crossbow was clearly pointed at Korz. Had Remsa said something to him?

As if he had heard his name, Inpoko looked towards the gutter hole as he returned to his cadre. Damn it. Just in case, Schoona waited as Inpoko stared down the hole. Schoona almost pulled the bow back when the bugbear turned aside to grab a gob that stepped over the line. Schoona fired.

Thwamp.

This shot flew even less true. Though it didn’t get jerked like the last one, it was clear to Schoona that it was a less perfect lead ball. Slowly it drifted to the left in its tumble.

It looked clear that this one was going to end up wide to the side. Unlike the last shot this one didn’t have the extra crank either, so it was already dropping too low for the head and too short to get one of the body guards behind Korz. But then random chance stepped in.

Korz had just finished his speech and, as was usual for him, he stepped forward to shake his fist defiantly at the goblin throng. Stepping to his right he walked into the leftward drifting ball of lead.

“Oh! Damn!” The new Ratter jumped in horror.

“Hah, hah!” Schoona let out a loud chortle before collapsing in hysterics on the opposite lip of the sewer. A roar of cheers and laughs erupted from the crowd outside. Randomness had balanced it out into a perfect shot to the groin.

Guluch smiled broadly as he took turns looking out at the crippled Korz and down at Schoona as he writhed in uncontrolled laughter. It took nearly a minute for Schoona to get enough of his breath back to stand up and look back out of the tunnel.

What he saw was a minor riot breaking out. The Kletchkii were pushing hard on the Greys’ phalanx, angered at the shot to their leader. The Warren side was in a near riot of their own, as fewer people were throwing stuff and a lot more were jumping around excitedly and lining up to taunt the Kletchkii with their clan war dance. The Watch didn’t stop them. They were more worried about the Kletchkii breaking through the barricade and battling their way into the Warren. The situation could get very bad very soon.

In the chaos of it all, Schoona thought he saw Captain Inpoko glancing back at his hiding spot.

“We better get out of here,” Schoona said, still smiling. Quickly he unstrung his giant crossbow. “Give me a hand putting this away, then we’ll go find Edjer.”

The new Ratter scrambled to help, almost making himself more of a nuisance than anything else, and they carried it down the tunnel to the false wall where Schoona kept it hidden.

“You know how to keep a secret right?”