- No, – said with sad Willie’s who had nicknamed Bull, – you’re leading me by the nose buddy. Love doesn’t exist. It’s just gone, but we’ve been so brazenly lied to for thousands of years. And now you’re really lying to me! You’re a cheeky little bastard! Why would you do that?

Bull was being pathetic. He was a dangerous bigwig and no matter how muсh he drank – he always kept his face and didn’t say too much. Bull was rightly considered the most violent and unpredictable companion of the entire crew of the ship “Judy”, which sailed in the treacherous northern waters. Rudolph knew about it. More than, he was witnessing the painful for his susceptibility multiple immoral episodes, which in earlier times before this ill-fated journey did not distort the beautiful picture that illustrated his well-being life, which he inherited from his family. Every day, in the evenings Rudolph was hiding in his tiny stateroom and listening to the sounds and shouting that did not bode well. The owner of the expedition, he was terrified to death of those whose obedience was well paid.

When he was forced face to face with Bull, Rudolph fell into deep despair, assuming the worst outcome of their encounter. In the course of their arduous journey he had every reason to believe that desperation would kill him sooner or later, but as he found out in the aftermath – the all ordeal had taught him a good lesson that he had learned too late. A terrible condition deprived him of his natural senses and reactions, so Rudolph didn’t even notice he sat down with Bull at the same table. Having forgotten the old fear, Rudolph drank the hideous booze with Bull. That was considered the most valuable asset to their team. An accidentally formidable and dangerous bigwig showed Rudolph his true gait. Turns out the formidable Bull is actually simple man Willy – just like everyone else. For the first time Rudolph had forgotten his previous regret and recognized the peculiar benefit of a controversial connection with sailors who resembled pirates rather than ordinary laborers.

- Nobody loves us, – Willie continued, – we don’t love anyone. We don’t love ourselves. We can’t love. We can give away our inability to love as love itself. Lies it’s everywhere. Self-deception is the only feeling we appreciate of all that God has bestowed upon us.

One day I met a woman. She was beautiful, you know. She was gorgeous, so I would have tasted her. But I never should have. So, she told me that she loved, you know, she loved me! For her sake, I gave up the family business, leaving my old father and my brothers without my help. I went whaling. I’ve been working harder than anyone on the team since the first big-water run. I’ve endured the contempt of the ship’s mold – of the people whose glorious times were left in the distant past. I’ve known no rest. I’ve put up with a lot. I’ve thought – I would find it, I would take it, I would get it! I dreamed that she would be happy with me, knowing that she would have no need for anything. Yeah, that’s the thing.

- Wasn’t that enough for her? – Rudolph asked.

Willie responded with irritation:

- No. She said she couldn’t love me – a killer of creatures more intelligent than myself. Can you believe it?! There are no such women, but I have found this one on my head! So, where is the love that makes you so nervous?! I was willing to give my life for it. I was such a fool!

- That means you loved her.

- I didn’t! I was wrong! My choices cost me too much. Without me and my help, my father’s and brothers’ affairs soon went underground. First on lending and then on the big water. Well, the whipped beauty woman killed four lives.

- What was her name? – Rudolph asked. He was curious for reasons he couldn’t understand.

- Judy.

- That explains everything. Now I agree – you really didn’t love her.

- I didn’t! I was wrong! On the first and last time!

Willie fell to the floor as soon as he was finished. Without changing his habit, he fell asleep quietly, probably going on another date with the unloved Judy, who had settled in his heart, soul and colorful dreams, where everything worked out for him in the most beautiful way.

Rudolph began to think about what the formidable bigwig with a small broken heart had told him. But still had no response in Rudolph’s soul to the pretentious suggestion of an eternal sailor who, in his lifetime, had been stranded on land at the same time, when he fed on his mother’s milk. At one time, Rudolph gave his word that he would never lie again, rejecting what was uncomfortable or scary to accept.

For a brief moment, Rudolph turned into Rudy. He remembered the woman he loved. Rudy held in awe the memory of everything about her. Every day of this strange expedition, he would scroll through one of their last conversations in his head.

“When this is over, we will sail to the northern lands of Laldiroff and make a great journey to my dream. Yeah, first my dream comes true, and then yours. It’s fair, Rudy. I deserve it.

Now I’m here with you, but I’m so excited to be there. I want to hear the voice of the Earth. I want to be away from this nightmare. To wait is unbearable. Stay here – like a slow and painful death. It’s better to wander there in unfriendly colder than here in hypocritical heat”.

- She lied, – Willie pronounced slowly.

- Who? – Rudolph asked anxiously.

- A woman. My woman, damn her! And you, fool, are running around with that stupid vase. You’ve spent too much money for stupid love.

- It’s not a vase! It’s an urn, – Rudolph severely corrected Willie’s rudeness, – and it’s my money! Do you care what you get unjustifiably overpaid for?!

Willie, who everyone called the Bull, had a weak sense of quilt, almost for the first time in his life.

- What happened to her? – Willie asked, as he continued to lie on the floor.

- She was killed.

- Your stories are still so much happier than mine. She didn’t tell you there were smarter things than you and she didn’t lie when she told you she loved you. I guess. You’re a lucky man, buddy.

- I’m jealous of myself, – said Rudolph in a sad way, and then he rushed away.

When Rudolph entered his stateroom, he carefully obscured what he had to do in order to do this crazy thing. The urn, in which the ashes of his beloved Aurora were kept, aroused in him feelings of love, bitterness and even dependence, and at the crew of the ship “Judy” – snide ridicule.

All this way was for her. Rudolph didn’t regret all what he had to have Aurora’s ashes scattered in the North. She was to remain forever in the lands of Laldiroff, where the true voice of the Earth would sing the saddest song in the world and mourning the Aurora’s death.

Now love brought Rudolph unbearable suffering, but yet he has not given up on it, as Willie and the man from his old life, whom Rudy despised more than anyone else. Love killed Rudy. He died with Aurora on May 26, 1994.

None of the team “Judy” even suspected that it fell on the part of the person, over whom they made such a dirty mockery. If they knew the truth, anything would have changed. They had no idea of any other life, and there would be no place for them in either life. They were unaware that somewhere in the vicinity could kill someone who was smarter than the strongest. That if one person tries to do something that is truly important to millions, they will surely be sentenced – most often to death. That’s when millions suffer in the interest of one person, such person becomes more and more powerful. The members of the team “Judy” were happy in their ignorance.

Next Chapter: Chapter 2. Those who betray hope