757 words (3 minute read)

Snippet for book 3

This is a very risky snippet for book 3 of the Bully book series. I'm actually only halfway through book 2, but I want to know if this humour works, or if it's simply revolting. But it did happen.

And in case you're wondering why I'm writing bits of book 3 when I'm still on book 2, it's because when an idea hits me, I got to write it then and there. The hard part is often finding out where to fit it in, although this will be set in my 3rd year of high, 15 going on 16.

Here goes...

The Carrot

‘We’re doing it on my birthday’ Craig confided after making us promise not to tell. But he’s not really confiding, more like reveling in the glory of having a hot girlfriend, who one day, may play hide the sausage with him. Besides, does he really expect us all to keep the secret, heck, everyone in 5AN knows.

 

‘That’s really going to be a sweet sixteen’ Paul observed, while the rest of us imagined what it would be like to not only have a girlfriend, but an attractive one, who wants to do it.

 

‘Where you going to do it?’ I asked, and Craig leaned back in his chair, bracing his arm on the desks behind, taking in our adoration, before replying.

 

‘Her parents are going away for the weekend. We’ll have the whole house to ourselves.’

 

‘Geez mate, a dirty weekend, you’re gonna do it in every room of the house, aren’t you?’ Paul added. ‘Make sure you do it on the washing machine, when it’s on spin, that’s the best.’

 

‘Dude, did you fuck your washing machine?’ asked Kris, while Paul muttered something about hearing it was the thing to do.

 

‘Nice one Paul, that’s just what I need; advice from a virgin’ Craig added, briefly shutting Paul up.

 

‘You gonna use a dome?’ Kris, the self-proclaimed sexpert was asking all the right questions. ‘Or you gonna go freestyling?’

 

‘Of course I’m gonna use a dome, I don’t want kids.’

 

‘You can’t use a dome your first time, you gotta go bareback, at least once’ declared Paul.

 

How did he do it? How did he score such a hot girl that wants to play hide the sausage? My Alice is not interested in doing it, and I don’t want to scare her away by asking, and besides, we’re more like best friends than an actual couple, although we have kissed. Maybe I’m too slow. Maybe I should ask her for a birthday surprise.

 

‘Has she got any single friends that want to do it, and isn’t too fussy?’ Paul asked, and Craig gave the matter some serious thought.

‘Well, there is one girl, but I can’t really tell you. She promised me not to tell.’

 

The Holy Grail - a girl that wants to do it, who isn’t fussy. Craig would be criminally negligible to the male race if he didn’t divulge the secret, but he was going to tell. He wanted to draw out the suspense, the attention, and the adoration.

 

It took another minute before he told us about his girlfriend’s best friend, Brianna.

 

‘She’s so desperate, she uses carrots on herself.’ The furor that followed this statement was not going to abate, not until we had her full name, address and phone number.

 

This can’t be true. But more importantly, could I date a carrot fucker? Could I walk hand in hand with a woman, whom everyone knows abuses carrots? What a waste when there are so many needy cocks. Am I betraying Alice? I mean, she’s not really my girlfriend, I think, and if I ever met this Briana, I’d only be helping her out with her carrot addiction.

 

‘That’s a load of bullshit’ Kris was not convinced, and while most of us probably felt the same, the story was too enjoyable to disbelieve.

 

‘I’m not bullshitting you, she told me herself, one night when we’d all been drinking. She was quite open about it.’

 

‘I bet she’s quite open about it’ added Paul to a roar of laughter. 


Next Chapter: Bob