Chapter One: Agent A-3-15

Trying to keep my hair in place was always a chore, it was thick, black as crow feathers and determined to remain in annoying ringlets instead of lovely flowing waves. I straightened it, a rare feat indeed, made sure it was just right, then unleashed a can of hairspray on it to make sure it remained under control. Zachery would be arriving home any minute now, or should be, the snow was probably holding him up. I stood in front of the bathroom mirror and touched up my mascara, I had to be sure I would knock him off his feet when he saw me. The dress I was wearing was an emerald green cocktail dress, Zachery said it matched my eyes beautifully and that he loved when I wore green. Had I rich brown eyes like Cassie, I would have loved to wear the breathtaking red dress I had stored in my closet, doing myself up like some smokey eyed, exotic beauty. But alas, I had green eyes, which I had come to learn were much more rare than I had first thought.

I smoothed my dress and went down the stairs into the living room, pausing to take a deep breath of the heavenly smell of dinner that was wafting through the house. I’d prepared a roast with carrots, potatoes and onions. A rather robust dish, and not very romantic, but add a little wine and candles and you have a do it yourself romantic evening. I went to the right, off the living room and into the kitchen to peek into the oven. Zachery was running late, so I had to turn the oven back on to warm up the roast. Once I was satisfied that the roast was still inside the oven and not dried out, I looked out the window at the snow coming down, it was almost a blizzard out there, but beautiful. The roads would be treacherous, but this only served my purpose for the evening, as long as the roads and traffic didn’t ruin his mood too much.

I heard a car door slam and skittered into the living room to look out the front window, moving aside the curtain a centimeter or two to see if I could spy Zachery’s car. But it was only the neighbors across the street. I sighed and closed the curtain, I daintily touched my done up mane to make sure it hadn’t fallen out of place when I’d hurried into the living room.

Because I had nothing else to do but wait, I checked on dinner once again, I was praying it didn’t get dried out or overdone. If Zachery had been on time I wouldn’t have to worry about it, there were too many variables. I filled the coffee maker with water and decaf coffee and started it up, it was more than likely Zachery would want something warm to drink, and he was always drinking coffee. Many times they’d joked about him needing an IV of coffee pumped directly into his blood stream.

Zachery had been hard to get through to, I knew he’d had troubles in the past regarding the area of girls, he wasn’t exactly the most romantic of men, but he was sweet. I was just hoping to finally be the one to pull him out of the rut he’d been in for so many years. One of the things that made it easier, and was much appreciated, was being able to show up at his house at any given time and walk right in. Of course, he did this with a lot of people, I’d been over many times where his family or friends would stroll in without a care and go straight to his fridge or just sit on the couch and go about their business, or even welcome themselves to use his computer. It goes without saying, that I made sure to make friends with these people. But the house was big enough that there were times three of us would be in the house at once and never once run into each other. It was a two story house in the suburbs of a charming Michigan town, from what he had told me, his parents and grandparents had issues with each other. So when his grandparents died, they left the house to him, given this new information, I was happy to also learn that he’d replaced much of the old furniture and appliances.

I glanced at the clock and peeked once again at dinner in the oven, then went out to the living room to pace and stir up the fire in the fireplace.

“I swear, if he doesn’t pull up within the next five minutes...” I wasn’t given a chance to finish my threat, as I heard a car door close. I went back to the front window, almost not allowing myself to hope it was him. I didn’t see any vehicle in the driveway other than my own, which was covered in nearly a foot of snow and more where the snow drifts and been piled high by the wind. I saw a figure in the street walking towards the house and I nearly had a heart attack, until he passed under the street lamp and I was able to make out the familiar form and walk of Zachery. Finally he was home! The snow was up to his knees as he trudged up the driveway, he glanced at my car, clearly he wasn’t expecting me to be here tonight. He shook the snow from his coat and brushed it from his hair in a way that would have made any normal girls heart flutter. I had to be doing something when he came in and not just waiting creepily by the door, so I grabbed the lighter from the fireplace mantle and bent to light the pair of candles on the coffee table just as he walked in the door. With him came a strong blast of cold air which circled around the room before he closed the door. I straightened from lighting the candles and stood close to the fireplace, as my dress wasn’t exactly designed for warmth.

I gave him a smile that was in fact designed for warmth. “Welcome home.” He looked up at me, and for a second, I thought his eye balls might have frozen in their sockets from the way he stared at me. I started to feel a little self-conscious when his expression finally relaxed and he grinned back at me.

“Thanks. You look… amazing. What’s the occasion?” He asked, shrugging out of his coat.

I smiled sweetly at him and lightly stepped over to take his coat, carefully avoiding the puddles of melting snow gathering at his feet. “I’d been planning a surprise dinner for a while. But I didn’t see your car, did you walk all the way back? Tell me you didn’t.” I pleaded, hanging up his coat for him and giving him a worried expression, my brow furrowed in concern.

He muttered slightly and ran a hand through his sandy hair, it came out of the ordeal with melted snow all over, which he wiped on his jeans. He untied his shoes and pried them from his feet. “I spun out on the way home and hit a tree.”

I gasped and gave him a horrified expression, to which he almost looked like he was going to laugh.

“Don’t worry, I’m completely fine, but I did have to call a tow truck for the car and they were kind enough to give me a ride home. I’m just relieved I still had signal out where I was.” He concluded and dropped his boots by the fire to dry. He stood by the fire to warm his feet and hands, I’d swear, he was nearly standing in the flames.

I clasped his hands tightly, to warm them as well as reassure myself he was alright. “But to think that something awful might have happened to you. I knew I was right to be worried when you didn’t arrive right on time.”

He gave me a sidelong look, and I realized what I said. Often times his schedule was so scattered and random that even he wasn’t sure what it would be from day to day. I pretended not to notice and ignored the curious look in his eyes that asked exactly how I knew when he worked. I let go of his hands and went into the kitchen and he lowered himself heavily onto the couch with a groan.

“I’ve made some coffee for you. It’s decaf, but I thought you might want something to warm you up. It’s nasty out there.” I poured it into his favorite mug and brought it out to him. Thankfully for me, he chose to let the subject of his work schedule drop and took the mug with a nod of thanks.

He sipped it and sighed, no doubt feeling a warm tingle spread through him, he practically shivered. “I was almost stuck at work for the night, but I had a feeling, and I was determined to get home, and I’m glad I did.” He said, giving me a smile that would have turned a normal girls legs to jello.

I returned the smile and sat on the couch next to him, leaning my head on his shoulder, pretending not to care about my hair that I’d spent nearly an hour doing. “I’m glad you’re alright. But if something had happened, if you had gotten hurt, you would have called me, right?” I asked, pulling away to look into his eyes, intending to give my question more meaning.

He nodded, his brow furrowed, “Of course, you should know how much you mean to me, being with you has been the happiest time of my life.”

I blushed and tried not to smile, looking away from him and into the fires glow. “We’ve only been going out a few months.”

He brushed my cheek with a gentle hand and turned me back to face him. “Anya, I know we haven’t known each other very long.” I almost interrupted him, telling him he had the wrong name, but he didn’t let me, besides that, I remembered that I’d introduced myself as Anya. “But you’re different from every girl I’ve ever known. You’re kind, you support me and all my crazy ideas, I can trust you with all my secrets.”

He did have some crazy ideas, but of course it was my job to support him. “I’m glad you trust me, after all, if a relationship doesn’t have mutual trust and honesty, well…. it’s doomed for failure.”

He looked about to say something, but stopped short, opening his mouth and then closing it again. He looked confused, “Do you smell something?”

Panic struck me and my eyes opened wide, “Oh no!” I threw myself up from the couch and ran into the kitchen, opening the oven door to save the roast, but instead a waterfall of smoke poured from the dish. Zachery leapt up from the couch and came to my rescue, he threw on the oven mitts and grabbed the dish, depositing it on the stove. We both tried to wave away the smoke, but the high pitched trill of the fire alarm made me flinch to cover my ears. Zachery gallantly tore the alarm off the wall and took out the battery to silence the pest.

I felt tears sting my eyes as the perfection that had once been dinner was reduced to charcoal and smoke. I stifled a whimper which gained Zachery’s attention and he finally noticed the distress I was in.

“I worked so hard on it. It was supposed to be perfect.” I told him quietly.

He gave me a sympathetic look as he opened the kitchen window for some air flow. The breeze was freezing and the act just added insult to injury. I tried to keep my lip from trembling, but was failing miserably from the look of compassion in his eyes warm brown eyes.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. As long as you’re here with me, you could have made ramen noodles and it would have tasted the same to me.”

I chuckled a little at his poorly delivered attempt to make me feel better. It was clear he didn’t realize what he’d said, and was just relieved I was smiling. He wiped a tear from my cheek, right then I was just thanking my lucky stars I’d decided to wear my waterproof makeup.

“I’m sorry, I’d had to turn the oven back on to warm it up for you, but...”

He shook his head and put a finger on my lips to silence me. “Don’t be sorry, it’s my fault. If I hadn’t been late, it wouldn’t have gotten cold.”

“But you spun out, the roads...” There was no way he had any control over that.

He just gave me a childishly charming grin, “So we’ll blame the snow, just don’t feel too badly. We can make grilled peanut butter and jelly, if that sounds good to you.”

Not really. I gave him a wry smile and nodded towards the stove. “Honestly, I’d really been looking forward to that roast, but… that’s out the window now.” I said with a shrug. Sandwiches wasn’t exactly what I had an appetite for, but I could adapt.

“Mmm, I suppose putting that out the window wouldn’t be a bad idea, before it smokes up the whole house.”

I sighed and nodded, wishing he hadn’t said so, even though I knew he was right. “Yeah, I guess. You put that outside, I’ll get started on the sandwiches.” I told him, and pulled out the bread from the breadbox on the counter next to the fridge. Zachery replaced the oven mitts on his hands and took the dish, balancing it on one hand while he opened the door, then he set the dish in the snow and cracked the lid open. He closed the door behind him and hung up the oven mitts on the magnet hook on the side of the fridge.

I had just finished spreading the jelly on my own sandwich. “Do you want grape, strawberry or raspberry on yours?” I asked, poised at the fridge to grab the flavor of his choosing.

“Strawberry for me, thank you.” I nodded and took the jar, popping it open and spreading the jelly on the bread. I was glad I’d had so much practice in the area of making sandwiches, otherwise I would have jelly all over my dress by now.

“You know, whoever come up with this was a brilliant person.”

Zachery grinned and offered a silly little bow. “Thank you, once again.” I laughed. “Actually,” He continued, “I can’t honestly take credit for it. It was a friend of mine, though I doubt she had any idea the kind of genius she was getting at.”

I turned to look at him, slightly confused. “How do you mean? If she invented it, wouldn’t she at least have some idea as to it’s potential?”

He nodded and stood next to me to grab a glass from the upper cabinet next to my head, “You ’d think that. But we were coming up with different meal ideas and she just threw it out there. Between the two of us, I was the first to actually try it out, and it was really good. To this day I don’t even know if she’s thought to have a taste of her own concoction, even though I’ve told her it’s delicious.” He explained, then he grabbed the milk from the fridge and poured himself a glass. Figures, he had a perfectly good mug of coffee in the next room and he chooses milk.

I chuckled some and dropped the buttered sandwich into the pan with a satisfying sizzle. “Well, she’s missing out, be sure to thank her for me.”

He tipped his glass to me and nodded, “That I shall.”

We’d finished eating the grilled PB&J a while later, we were sitting on the couch in front of the fireplaces, I was nursing a steaming cup of hot chocolate and he had reheated his coffee at least twice now. While he was heating that up, I’d found a slow soothing cd of classical music and set it up in the cd player. It was definitely going to help set the mood, but of course I didn’t tell Zachery this. It wasn’t quite the romantic evening I’d planned, but it was turning out to be alright. I was bundled up in one of his cozy old sweaters and he had changed out of his work clothes into something more comfortable. I curled up against his shoulder and pulled the blanket from the back of the couch down over my lap.

“This is really nice.” I commented sleepily.

“Mmm.” He mumbled his agreement. He was fed, coffeed, warm and happy. We both stared into the fireplace in silence, I don’t know about Zach, but the warm glow made me feel drowsy. It was a lazy blaze, swaying back and forth almost as if it was dancing in time to the mellow strings that were currently playing.

I thought to let us just sit in happy silence, but then I had to ask and if there was ever a better time, it wouldn’t be coming for a while. “Zach, earlier you said you could trust me with all your secrets.”

He gave a small, sleepy nod. “Yes. I’m not wrong in that, am I?” He asked, I understood his question and the reason for asking it. But his tone sounded calm, he was in no way worried about such a thing, this was good for me.

“No, you’re not wrong. I was just wondering, are there any secrets you wanted to tell me?” I asked hesitantly. He didn’t answer for a while, and the silence dragged out. I thought he might not answer me at all, I sat up and looked at him. “You’re not hiding anything from me, are you? You’re not secretly in love with someone else.”

He quickly shook his head, “No, no, nothing like that. I’m not keeping anything from you, telling you I trust you wasn’t a segway into anything. I was just stating a fact.” He answered hastily. But I could tell, he had been leading up to something, even if he didn’t realize it yet himself. I would make him confess.

I stared into his eyes, willing my gaze to reach into his very soul. “You know you can tell me anything.”

He swallowed and nodded, “I know that.”

I continued, my brow creased. “It’s just, sometimes you seem so distracted, that I can’t help but feel like you’re thinking something or… someone else.” I said, looking away from him. I know what I said was preposterous, he wasn’t in any way distracted, but I needed to convince him I thought he was. It wasn’t hard to accomplish.

He grabbed my hand, frowning. “You can’t honestly think that, Anya, you always come first to me. You know I would never hurt you like that, the way I’ve been hurt before. Even the idea of it is unbelievable.”

I looked into his eyes, my own shining with concern. “What do you mean? The way you’ve been hurt?” We had talked about this before, but pretending we hadn’t was simple.

He looked at the fire for a second, his expression far away, I could almost see the memories racing back to his mind. “I’m sorry, it’s none of my business, I shouldn’t have...”

“No, it’s fine. You should know, I mean… well, nevermind that for now.” I really wanted to know what he had been going to say, but I didn’t stop him. “I’ve dated quite a few women before, to be perfectly honest with you.”

I just nodded, appearing to be completely unbothered by the fact that other women had won his affections.

He nodded and cleared his throat, “Okay, some of them were really nice, and others were really fun, but in the end… they had no intention of taking care of me. I thought I could trust them, so I gave them my heart, but they only used me. They weren’t what I wanted, I couldn’t trust them.”

I bit my lip, my eyes glistening with tears as he told me of his past sorrows. “How could they do such a thing? Who would be so cruel as to intentionally manipulate a person like that?”

He shook his head, “Only the worst kind of monster. Anyway, lucky for me I was able to get my heart back, it was hard won, bruised and scarred, but it was once again my own. So, knowing all that, you must understand that if I used you in any way like that, not only would I be the biggest hypocrite ever, but I would be betraying the trust of the girl I love most in this world.”

I felt my eyes go wide as I processed what he said and stared at him. “Love?” Without a word he squeezed my hand and stood up, heading for the stairs. “Zach?” I called, but he didn’t reply.

If he was going up to his room, I could only imagine what he was going to get. My heart pounded in my chest at the thought, tonight it would finally happen, everything was finally drawing to a close. I carefully watched the stairs, waiting for him to reappear. He came down the stairs and held tightly in his hands was a small box covered with red velvet with a gold lock and golden corner protectors and little golden feet. Inside that box was the treasure I’d come to acquire, the center of my whole assignment, the heart of Zachery Ryans. Around his neck was a golden key that matched the lock in design and had his name right on it. It was right there, so close I could feel it.

“I suppose now you know why, with such experiences in love as I’ve had, why I would be slow to trust anyone.” He started. I did my best not to stare at the velvet box he held close to his chest. “But in the short months that I’ve gotten to know you, I know your character, I feel as if I know you inside and out. I know I can trust you, and I know you would never do anything to hurt me.”

“Zach...”

“Anya. I love you, and… I know it’s not a lot, it’s still pretty banged up, but it’s the most valuable thing I possess, and I want you to have it.”

I couldn’t help but smile a genuine smile as a few sentimental tears escaped my eyes. “Zachery, do you really mean to give this to me? I don’t want you to feel like I’ve pressure you into it.”

He shook his head and sat down on the couch next to me. “I want you to have it. I know you’ll take good care of it for me.” At that, he held out the box to me. I looked at the box, then back at him and search his eyes for any sign that he would change his mind.

“Take it.” He urged again. I reverently took the box and looked it over. It was beautiful, though that didn’t mean his heart would look the same. Never judge a book by it’s cover, as the saying goes.

“I’ll do my best to deserve this, and no matter what has happened to you in the past, whether there are bruises and scars and cracks, your heart won’t even be recognizable when I’m done with you.”

Zachery gave an audible sigh of relief and out of nowhere kissed my lips, giving me quite a surprise. I felt myself drawn to him, despite my emotional detachment, but as suddenly as he’d kissed me, it was over again.

“I hope you’re never done, my beautiful duchess.” Why he’d chosen that nickname for me, I’ll never know, but I liked it to a certain extent.

I smiled at him, pouring all the warmth and sweetness I could muster into that smile as well as my eyes. “You know, I really don’t want to make you uneasy in any way. But in order to really get at your heart, I’m going to need the key.” I told him carefully. There was no getting passed this shell if he didn’t want me to.

His hand immediately went to his chest where the necklace with the key had disappeared under his shirt. I studied his anxiety stricken expression and shook my head.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t pressure you into any of this, you keep it for now, think about it before you decide on anything. I can wait.”

“But, Anya...”

I shook my head. “No, you’re clearly uncomfortable with this. Anything you do, I want it to be voluntarily. If you regret anything, which I’ll do my best to make sure doesn’t happen, I don’t want any of the blame to fall on me as having forced you into giving this to me.” His expression, I realized, was pitifully grateful. Wonderful, I thought sarcastically.

“Are you sure?” He asked, he wanted to keep it, but he didn’t want to offend me either. Pathetic.

I nodded and pressed his hand. “I’m sure. You’ve already made a big step in handing this over to me, and I’m glad you did. Little by little, you’ll see, that’s the surest way to fully healing this heart of yours. Like I said, no one will even recognize it if they saw you.” I said, giving him a reassuring smile and he was clearly relieved, the fool.