The porcelain-like child sat alongside me and watching the television from her pushchair. Her Mama made encouraging noises and raptured smiles and much nodding of her head. But not a word from Emma. I waited ten minutes and then offered her my pinkie, my smallest in the form of a hook, a gesture and Emma seized it with her small hand, a ridiculously small hand compared to my finger. She seized it tightly with four fingers with a grip that was surprisingly strong for a creature so small. I looked at her, her face still a mask devoid of emotion, yet the finger grip continued. her skins so white and translucent I could see the blue of her veins beneath the surface of her skin, so tender. This was our first contact, I liked children, but was in a bad way.

My wife came home cheerful and full of healthy Dutch positiveness. Emma took to her straight away,

’Would Emma like some grapes.? The porcelain child nodded, yes. The grapes were cut in half and the pips removed, so that Emma doesn’t choke was Femke’s explanation. Mama sat nodding approval. So started our journey and later friendship. They visited almost every day uninvited but welcomed. Emma didn’t really respond to me, she couldn’t talk yet but after several weeks I said,

’I don’t think Emma has taken to me?’

’Oh she has, said Mama, she really does like you.’

Possibly it was my habit of pinching a grape from Emma, my teasing that created a gulf. Emma didn’t appreciate that and when I entered the room she would gently and slowly transfer her bowl of grapes from one hand to the hand that was furthest from me. Emma got used to my teasing eventually and she could respond in kind.

Playing bear brought us together, I could growl like a bear, I used to be a bear when younger and lived in a cave. Emma swallowed up all my stories. Why would she think it strange that once I had been a bear and lived in a cave? Our games progressed to wrestling, or judo, as we called it an excuse for cuddles and then to raspberry blowing on her tummy. Adults get embarrassed when one tries to blow one on their tummy, but not Emma she thought it a huge joke. Mama took us out on trips. she said it was good to get out and about and Wales was beautiful, and it is, and gradually I came out of my cave.

Femke went on shopping trips and we began to hear Mama’s story, which is typical of many young relationships in this modern age. I won’t go into details but just to say it is sad when couples break-up, very sad. And as Mama was still with her partner, she preferred to be with us as much as possible. He visited on a few occasions, but the relationship was so fraught that he stopped coming and that was sad too.

Soon after her first visit to us, Emma started speaking. Amazingly in Dutch and English. In Dutch to Femke and Mama and in English to me. She also babbled a lot with the odd word that made sense. I always pretended I could understand her sentences, she tried so hard to communicate it was rather lovely and soon dissipated as she learned more and more words. Emma attended ’Playschool’ and we would pick her up from there at times, times when Mama was busy at her job in the local steelworks. A very important job as a senior safety engineer. Then she would stay with us until mama could collect her. Occasionally Emma would lapse and address my wife as Mama Femke, which we thought was cute. The amazing thing about this little girl was that she could switch from Dutch to English at the drop of a hat. She could start a conversation with my wife, then turn to me and switch to English, just like that. I have been trying to learn Dutch for most of my life and this child had picked it up in weeks. But Emma would not speak Dutch to me, even when I formulated a good Dutch sentence, she just would not answer me in that language. Emma reserved English for Hugh and "Tiny-Tots Playschool".

By this time Emma was very comfortable with us in our home, CBB’s was her favourite television program. I pretended to like it, but it really was a chore and yet in time I could relate and even enjoy this program designed to entertain tiny tots like Emma. Emma had taught me to re-discover my inner child. I began to look forward to her visits, I had a reason to join the human race again. Emma was so comfortable with me she would haul herself up on my lap and shout,

’CBB’s Hugh.’ I would pretend to grumble,

’Oh, not CBB’s again?’

’CBB’s Hugh,’ and I, resigned to my level put the derned program on for Emma to watch while Femke cut up her grapes in the kitchen.

The pantomime went well, Mama was determined that her child was going to experience everything that she should experience and the British pantomime was one of those events. We went to Swansea to see "Jack and the Beanstalk". One scene involved a princess and some rooks, and the rooks captured the princess and took her away, dragged her away complaining. I hardly took any notice of this seemingly unattached scene to the pantomime, but for Emma, it made a big impact, for days she would tell us,

’The naughty crows took away the princess.’ It shows how children react to everything around them in a different way to adults. How they process drama from reality is a hidden process, yet we have all gone through it but as adults, we have forgotten it. To be honest, I loved that afternoon out with Mama and Emma, it brought back a long-ago happy time of me and my mother going to a pantomime in Swansea. Whenever I think of that time with my mother I see the brilliant colours of that show. The cast threw marshmallows into the audience, that made a big impression on me. I thought about that show for days afterwards and I think my mother realised that. I was just five years old, but one little girl in the show stuck in my mind, feelings of pleasure at the memory, was it my first love? Is that possible for a five-year old child to fall in love? 

Next Chapter: Chapter Three