Visiting Rowdy
Charlotte Ramsey Lemmings
I woke up late the next morning. A dull blue light leaked through slats in the newspaper covering the window. My eyes flickered open and I found myself lying halfway off my bed. Fuck, it’s morning. Pain pulsed through my temples like an electric circuit. Rolling out, escaping from the intricate web of tye dye sheets twisted around me. I scratched my head, tangling my fingers in my curly brown fro and ducked into the bathroom. Sitting, shorts wrapped around my toes a drum beat echoed through my head, in the form of a migraine. Another day, another disaster.
I was surprised that my mom didn’t wake me. But it was raining, and class started 15 minutes ago.
I pulled on my shorts and got off the toilet. I gripped the doorknob of the Jack and Jill bathroom, peeling it open into Mom’s room. She’s fast asleep, crushed beer can next to the pile of his and her clothes across the floor. He’s up and pulling on his jeans. John, I think his name is. He looked at me with a forced smile and I made a face and turned out of the doorway. He won’t last a week.
I put on the first clean shirt I could find and my favorite black hoodie with electric teal letters across that said CHAOS. Messing up my curly hair, even messier with my hands. Shoving my feet into my chucks that ripped raw from toe to heel revealing my pink and black-checkered socks underneath, black marks covering the top and sides.
Throwing my backpack over my shoulder, I paused to check the empty refrigerator and jumped out the door, sliding my broken headphones connected with tape over my ears. CD player in my hand, hood covering my head. On the way out I grabbed my board, skater stickers covering the old design on the bottom, holding it under my arms until I got outside.
I boarded to school. On my way over I got to see all my friends on their way to school. They all made noises and howls calling me an O.C. as I boarded pass. I grinned and flicked them off. Roaches and preps went to school at different times due to the number of fights that used to occur when they went to school at the same time. I stopped by Adam’s place on my way, his shop was open by now and saw him eating some top ramen.
“Hey when can I get some ink?” I yelled into his store as I boarded past.
“When you bring back your parent permission form,” he shouted back. I waved my hand and continued to board down the street. Adam was a friend of Tommy and Rowdy. The girls call him Thriller, I never found out why. Even if I wanted to, Big bro Rowdy would kick both my ass and his if we ever hooked up. Not that I had a chance with him anyway. Though I did hear him say once to one of his friends, I’m not sure which one but am hoping it was Adam, to stop checking out his sister. So, I could be in there but not even know it.
I passed by the courthouse, Mom’s domain. And slowed as I rode past. Staring at all the hot middle-aged lawyers in their cool expensive suits getting into their Porsches and Mercedes Benz’s.
It was close to second period by the time I got to school. I couldn’t carry my board around campus, so I had to locker it. I hung in my locker for a bit, trying to breathe. I heard footsteps clamber down the hall. I shut my locker immediately.
“I was heading to class,” I said, thinking it was a Dean. I wish. It was 3 of the bains of my existence. Trent Fowler, Clement Delacruz, and last but certainly not the least, Laurette Willoughby. The three people that made sure I was completely miserable at Douglas Adams.
I found my eyes instantly attracted to Clemm Delacruz’s storm cloud eyes. Not just because he was startingly gorgeous. And everybody knew he was. But he had this alarming cruelty to him that made most people steer clear. And everybody knew about that kid he bullied last year into committing suicide. And someone made the bold move of trying to sue him before they got sacked with a counter defamation of character lawsuit which they lost. Still, after that, everyone knew not to fuck with Clemm Delacruz. And really did not. His only two friends, the people you see besides him and his cold bitch of a girlfriend Laurette who I’ll get into later.
Something happened last summer, that’s all I know. It was the summer before high school started. And every year the rich kids threw this huge party in the woods. All the rich kids lived up the hill, their houses were farther apart and covered with trees. Some lived so far apart they couldn’t even see their neighbor.
I wasn’t even invited, none of us were, we just wanted to see how the other side lived. Our mistake. We were drunk off of my mom’s boyfriend’s whiskey. A mistake I paid for later, when he discovered. And we all snuck up the hill through the woods to the lake where the party was. Surprisingly, when we were discovered, the Dawsons didn’t kick us out.
“Want a drink, roach?” I remember Clemm saying to me, holding out a bottle of really expensive wine. I still remember what he was wearing, blue dress shirt half tucked into nice pants, his hair slightly disheveled. Everyone was on edge, there was at least a hundred Dawsons and only 5 of us. I reached for the bottle, hoping to dissolve the tension a bit, and maybe they really just wanted to party. I brought the bottle to my lips. I remember my lips over the moisture on the rim, like someone else’s wet mouth had been over it previously. And then, nothing.
I don’t remember anything else. I woke up the next day on a stack of leaves, in the woods, mostly unharmed. Tired, slightly bruised in places. And also, just had this really sick feeling about Clemm. A feeling I couldn’t shake. Now every time I see him, my stomach lurches.
None of us could remember shit really. All of us woke up in the woods somewhere except for Tracey, who’d drowned in the lake. We didn’t even know anything had happened to her, just that we didn’t see her around the next day and a few days later, a dead body was found floating on the lake.
And then, there was that one moment, we were walking down the street, Me, Thriller, Rowdy. The dynamic trio, Laurette, Clemm, Trent, walked on the other side. And we made eye contact. Chills came down my spine. And Rowdy, just started freaking out, out of nowhere, he was just panicking, breathing heavy and stuff and gripping the sides of his face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked him, reaching to touch his shoulder. At that moment, Clemm blew him a kiss and Rowdy pounced on him. We couldn’t make him stop, he just kept punching Clemm. And none of the guys could pull him off. Finally, the police came and Clemm stood there, blood all over his face and all, just grinning as the police carted him away.
And now, there he was standing across from me. Not as haughty as he normally was. In fact, he looked like he felt bad. His face, slightly pinkened, mouth pouting, brows drawn in concern. They walked past, all three glancing over at me, before they kept on moving until they disappeared around the corner.
So, I had all of this rolling around in my head during chemistry. That and Gertrude talking in my ear about some new way that we both could become popular. Mr. Bergstrom passed back last week’s quiz. I got a 63. In red pen he advised I get some tutoring. I groaned at the idea of my mother seeing my score later and some commentary about how much she spends on that fucking school and how I really need to get it together. I really should get tutoring, I thought. And when the bell rung and I got up, I noticed Gertrude wearing some gold skinny jeans.
“Jesus Christ, what are you—you know what, never mind,” I said, holding up my hand in defeat. Gertrude was desperate to be popular but her overweight body and stringy hair and obnoxious personality prevented that. We weren’t even really friends. Just nobody talked to me because I was a roach and she was the only one that did.
“This is the new style. Come onnn. What are you wearing? When are you going to start dressing like a girl?” she asked.
“When you start dressing your size. You realize these styles are made for skinny people,” I said. People are laughing and gasping around us and pointing and everything as we walk. I curse god for creating her and conveniently placing her in the same school as I.
“What are you trying to say?” she said putting her hand on her hips. I do what I always do, nothing.
“We’d be more popular if you weren’t so anti-social and stopped shopping in the little boy’s section is all I’m saying,” she said.
“Whatever,” I said, stopping by my locker and shoving my back-pack in.
Some jocks walked by and started mooing when they walked past Gertrude. I waited for the day to end.
I tried tutoring afterschool. It was in the library with the detention kids. Laurette, the smartest chic in my class was there looking me up and down when I came in.
“Detention’s in the back,” she told me.
“I’m actually here for tutoring,” she said. She stood next to this rack of books and took out a handful of them.
“Hmph,” she said, “for what?”
“Chemistry,” I said.
“Kay,” she said and walks off. I stayed and watched her confused as she walked over to one of the aisiles.
“Clemm,” she said. Clement stepped out of the aisle holding a stack of books. He tucked an arm around Bridgette’s waist.
“You’ve got a pupil,” she said. Clemm looked up and saw me. Shit. I looked for the quickest escape. My heart started jumping out of my chest and I couldn’t breathe.
Good girl, he’d said. My face in his lap, not much fabric in between his cock and my cheek. His touch gentle as he stroked my hair.
“Oh, umm I forgot I need help in geo, not chem,” I said hoping there was someone else for math.
“No trust me, you need help in chemistry,” she said. These schemes don’t work when the one who Clemm’s arm is around is in all my classes. I swallowed with a dry throat. He took a step towards me.
“I uh forgot. I’m supposed to be…somewhere else. I’ll be back tomorrow,” I said.
“Tutoring’s Tuesday and Thursdays,” Bridgette said to my back as I practically ran out.
Whew. Dodged that bullet. But I couldn’t go home yet cause then mom would know I quit journalism and I’m not a very good liar. As you can see. I sighed-skated to the Public Library.
I did visit Rowdy once. He wasn’t in good shape and he just kept rambling about things. He sat there, gaunt looking, his orange jump suit hanging over his frail bones like a poncho. A diamond pattern over the window that separated us.
“Don’t you remember? What happened to us in the woods?”
“What happened?” I asked.
“Like toys we were. Vacant dolls with glass eyes. They used our bodies like mannequins,” he said. The metal bars in the jail that hung all around us were once painted grey but now the paint was peeling to reveal the rusted metal underneath.
“What are you talking about? I don’t remember anything like that?” I said.
“Isn’t it strange? That you don’t remember anything? Like a whole 2 hours just disappeared,” he said. He got this far away look in his eye, like he was staring past me. I looked behind me and there was nothing besides a really bored guard who was looking up at the ceiling.
“What was it that they did to us? Do you remember?” I asked.
Tears formed in his eyes then, his lids went pink, he started trembling and then shaking his head. Then he was slapping the sides of his own face.
“No, no, no! Make it stop!” he yelled, and he started smashing his own face into the desk. I got up, and the guards came to stop him. He broke his own nose, blood leaking down over his lips, his teeth were bloody as he opened his lips to snarl at me.
“And they’re still in my head! And they’re still in my head!” he screamed as they pulled him away.
“I can tolerate the pain, I can. I just can’t tolerate the laughing.”
Those were his last words before he turned the corner, gone forever. It was so disturbing that I never returned, and everyone always asked me why. I guess he didn’t act the same with them.