1399 words (5 minute read)

Archival footage dated July 9, 1974

INT. – Kitchen - Evening

 

Wanda and Smithy stand at the counter by the sink.  Smithy perches on the counter, rocking with excitement.

 

Wanda: Hello, everyone!  My name is Wanda and this is Webster, also called Smithy.

 

She signs “Hello” and each name.

 

Wanda (cont.): Tonight we will demonstrate how to prepare…

 

She holds up a pasta box and shows it to Smithy.  She signs “What’s this?” Smithy signs “Spaghetti.”

 

Wanda (cont.): Very good.  We’ve got spaghetti for dinner.  To start, we’ll fill the kettle with water.  Smithy, turn on the water. 

 

She signs “open water.” Smithy turns on the faucet. She signs “water inside bowl.”  He takes the kettle and fills it with water.  When it is almost full, Wanda signs “stop.”

 

Wanda: Very good.  Now, I’ll put the kettle on the stove and heat it.  Stand back, Smithy.

 

She signs “back” and turns on the stove.

 

Wanda (cont.): We’ll work on the sauce next.  I won’t let Smithy use a knife, but he can help with the vegetables.  Smithy, what are these?

 

Wanda signs the question and points to some tomatoes on a cutting board.  He signs ‘red.’

 

Wanda (cont.): Yes, they are the color red.  Red is the color, but what is the name?

 

She signs “What this name?”  Smithy signs “Tomato.”

 

Wanda (cont.): Yes, very good!

 

Wanda tickles Smithy’s leg.

 

Wanda (cont.): He can tell the difference between similar items.  Observe.

 

She sets a red apple on the cutting board.  Wanda signs “What’s this?”  Smithy looks at it up close, sniffs it and signs “Apple.”

 

Wanda (cont.): Good.  This is an apple and he knows it.  Smithy-

 

She signs “What’s this” and picks up the tomato.  Smithy signs “Tomato.”  Wanda puts the two fruits behind her back.

 

Wanda (cont.): Now, what’s this?

 

She holds up the apple. Smithy correctly signs “apple.”  Behind her back, Wanda switches the tomato to the hand that previously held the apple and holds it up.  Smithy correctly identifies “tomato.”  Wanda signs “Good Smithy.”

 

Wanda (cont.): Smithy, give me a tomato.

 

He hands her a tomato in response to her sign. Wanda slices it and gestures for another.  Smithy complies 

 

Wanda (cont.): Smithy, give me two tomatoes. 

 

Smithy picks up a tomato in each hand and gives them to her.  Seven tomatoes remain.  The camera zooms in on Wanda’s hands and the chopping knife.  She signs “Where tomato?” Smithy gives her a tomato.

 

Wanda (cont.): Give me one tomato.

 

She signs “more tomato.”  Smithy hands her one.

 

Wanda (cont.): Give me two tomatoes.

 

She signs, “Two tomatoes” Smithy hands them to her and watches her cut.  “Give me a tomato.  Give me a tomato.”  This time, Smithy doesn’t hand her anything. “Where tomato?” Smithy doesn’t respond.

 

Wanda (cont.): Smithy, where is the tomato?  Give me a tomato.

 

Smithy signs “No tomato.”

 

Wanda (cont.): There should be one left.  I counted. Did he eat the last one, Jeff?

 

Jeff (off-camera): I’m sorry, I cut him out of the shot to better focus on your hands.  I didn’t see.

 

Wanda: Smithy, did you hide the last tomato?

 

Wanda looks around to see if it is on the ground.  She opens a drawer.

 

Wanda (cont.): Smithy, show me your hands.

 

He opens his hands.  Wanda studies his face to see if he has juice around his mouth.  She opens her mouth wide and sticks out her tongue. Smithy imitates her.  Nothing is in his mouth.

 

Wanda (cont.): Well, we’ll have less sauce then.  OK, time to put the pasta in the water.

 

Wanda hands Smithy the spaghetti.  He breaks the noodles and drops them into the boiling water.  She continues to hand him fistfuls of spaghetti until it’s all gone.  Wanda stirs the pot with a wooden spoon and sets the spoon on the counter beside the stove.

 

Wanda (cont.): Now we’ll wait for it to boil.  In the meantime, we can take a tour of the kitchen. Smithy, what is this? 

 

She points to a table.  He signs “table.” 

 

Wanda (cont.): Good, what’s that? 

 

She points to the refrigerator.  He signs “cold box.” 

 

Wanda (cont.): What’s this?

 

Wanda points to the sink.  Smithy signs “Woman.”  Wanda is surprised.  She laughs nervously.

 

Wanda (cont.): No, that’s not a woman. (to the camera) That’s his favorite word suddenly.  That’s the sink, silly. You use it everyday.  Look, here’s the water.

 

She runs the water and holds up a bar of soap.

 

Wanda (cont.): Come on, what’s this?

 

Smithy signs “wash soap.”

 

Wanda (cont.): That’s better. 

 

Wanda and Smithy wash their hands.  Wanda fumbles for the cooking spoon but can’t find it.  She searches the stovetop and counter for it.

 

Wanda (cont.): Smithy, where is the spoon?  The spoon. Do you have it?

 

She gestures for him to show his hands.  They are empty.

 

Wanda (cont.): Well it didn’t walk away!  Here, spoon!

 

Wanda drops to her knees to look under the table and the appliances.

 

Wanda (cont.): Jeff, did you see where I set the spoon?

 

Jeff (off-camera): You left it on the counter.

 

Wanda: That’s what I thought.  Smithy, where is the spoon?

 

The chimp looks around and points to the rear of the kitchen.  Wanda walks back to look.

 

Wanda (cont.): Not here. Are you hiding it?

 

She spots something on the counter and pounces on it.

 

Wanda (cont.): Aha! Where did you have this? 

 

She looks at the camera.

 

Wanda (cont.): Was he sitting on it?

 

Jeff (off-camera): I didn’t see him move.

 

Wanda: Great. We have a sleight of hand artist.  OK, Smithy, come help stir.

 

They stir the pasta. Wanda sets down the spoon.

 

Wanda (cont.): Leave that there!  Now we’ll drain the water.

 

She signs “No touch” and “water gone.”  Smithy sits beside the sink and watches her pour the water into a large sieve

 

Wanda (cont.): Next, we’ll add the sauce.

 

She signs, “Tomatoes in bowl.”  With Smithy’s help, Wanda adds the chopped tomatoes to the pasta.

 

Wanda (cont.): Now we’ll mix it up.  Not again!

 

The camera pulls back to show the spoon is missing from the countertop.

 

Wanda (cont.): Smithy, cut it out!  This is not funny! 

 

Wanda signs “Where spoon? Hurry.”  Smithy just gazes up at her. She signs for him to stand up.  Wanda checks his hands and feet, sees they are empty, rolls up his shirt, reaches along his pant legs.  She opens her mouth and motions for Smithy to do the same.

 

Jeff (off-camera): Wanda, what’s that on the table?

 

Wanda turns around to see the spoon.

 

Wanda: Now how did you do that?  Ooohhh!

 

Jeff (off camera): Maybe we should stage a magic show instead of a cooking show.

 

Wanda glowers at the camera and shakes her head as she stirs the pasta.  Smithy glances over his shoulder at the rear of the kitchen.

 

Fade out.

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Next Chapter: "20/20" Interview with Gail Beveridge: Airdate April 6, 1989