It had been a week since Nick had offered to open his home to Dana. They hadn’t spoken since. Dana had been struggling to get through each day while picking up a few extra shifts in the evenings and apartment hunting by day. It seemed as though the harder she worked to make her life easier, the more complicated things became.

It was Wednesday afternoon, and as usual, Nick was working in his kitchen. He dumped several cups of flour into the bowl of his stand mixer, then spooned in some yeast. He began pour water into the bowl while turning the mixer on at the same time. A few minutes later he shut the mixer off and removed the bowl of dough from it.

VRRR… VRRR…

VRRR… VRRR…

Nick saw his phone glowing and vibrating on the countertop and rushed to set the bowl down with a towel draped over the top of it.

“Hello,” Nick said, racing to get the phone up to his ear.

“Nick, it’s Dana. Hi.”

“Oh, hey, how’s it going.”

“It’s okay. Are you busy?” She was all business today.

“Actually, you’re timing is great. I just mixed up a sponge and now have to wait for it to rise. Nothing but time.” Nick stepped out the back door and looked in on the dogs laying under their shelter.

 “Did you say ‘sponge’? What are you talking about?”

“I make my own bread. It’s a two step process, the sponge is like a base, it’s just flour, water and yeast. It ferments and rises, then you add the other ingredients to it to get the finished dough.”

“Huh. How very Little House on the Prairie of you,” she was genuinely fascinated despite her response. “So I wanted to talk to you about coming up there.”

“Okay.” Nick now sat at the picnic table and worked on packing his pipe.

“It’s a really generous offer, and I really appreciate it. I just don’t think I can.”

“Okay. So you got things all sorted out there?”

“Not really. Umm, it’s not really about things here, or even you, I just can’t come up there for some personal reasons.”

“Are we going to step around these reasons with great delicacy so as not to actually discuss them?” Nick always knew which buttons to push. It really wasn’t fair at all.

“That’s what I’d planned on,” Dana resisted.

“Guess you won’t get to learn how to make bread then.”

“Yeah.” Dana paused, hoping Nick would pick up the slack, but he didn’t this time. He was busy lighting his pipe. “My mom was all for me going up there though. She thought it was the best idea ever.”

“What’d she think when you set her straight, your reasons and whatnot?”

“I didn’t tell her,” Dana replied in a flash. She had anticipated that one.

“So you’re just going to let some mysterious thing hang in the air for as long as you’re unhappy in L.A., with your mom believing that you’d be better off up here with me. I’m sure that won’t come back to bite you.”

Check.

Dana panicked, unsure of a response.

“Well, who says I’ll be unhappy?”

“That’s my girl. Knew you wouldn’t let things keep you down. How’s the apartment hunt going?”

Check.

“Nothing yet. But I checked out a short term place, and a month there wouldn’t be bad while I keep looking.”

“So you want to move twice?”

“Of course I don’t want to. But it might be the only way.”

“How expensive are those places? I thought they were just for like corporate people staying on the company dime.”

“Well, there are some pretty reasonable ones, but they don’t allow pets. The one I liked is about eighteen hundred,” Dana braced herself for whatever came next.

Nick sighed into the phone.

“Hm,” he started, unable to compose a thought. “Nope. Just hm.”

“Just hm?” Dana accused. What does that mean?

“It literally means that I don’t know what else to say,” Nick defended himself.

Checkmate.

“Well, just say what you’re thinking. You think I’m being an idiot about this don’t you? You think it’s stupid for me to stay someplace that makes me miserable every single day… Not just to stay, but to pay through the nose for the privilege of being made to feel miserable. Meanwhile, you’re Buddha on the prairie with the answers to everything. Baking bread!”

Dana paused and like a cat, Nick pounced on the opportunity.

“I was actually thinking about looking into real estate investments in Los Angeles. That’s where the money is,”

“You’re such an asshole. Why can’t you just be straight with me. Everything’s always some snarky joke with you.”

“You’re the one keeping secrets, Dana. I do think you’re being stupid about this decision. You can come up here and stay as long as you want without putting a dent in your savings. You refuse, which is your right, but it’s for some shadowy, secret reason. If you want me to understand, then make me. Otherwise, I’m going to be snarky, because I snark at things that don’t make sense.”

Nick relented, puffing the pipe. Through the phone he could hear Dana’s faint sobs.

“I just can’t be around you day in and day out. That’s all. I’m so glad to have you as a part of my life, but I just couldn’t possibly live with you.”

In an instant, Dana realized what Nick would say next, and regretted that her phrasing would lead to a misunderstanding.

“Is it like a feelings thing?” Nick asked softly.

“No, no. Absolutely not. Sorry, that was an accident, I didn’t mean to steer you that way.”

“Then I don’t get it. Do I smell? Is my musk so overpowering people are afraid to tell me?”

Dana chuckled, wiping tears from her cheek.

“No, Nick, you’re hygiene isn’t the issue,” she paused again, and again, Nick refused to speak up. “It’s completely on me. I know you don’t like to talk about it, but, Nick, I’ve got some unresolved things with Rachel.”

Nick’s jaw clenched.

“It’s really complicated, I don’t even get it,” Dana continued cautiously, “I’m just afraid that being around you will make things worse for me, and what if I said something that hurt you? Something I couldn’t ever take back? It’d kill… It’d make me feel awful. I’m so sorry.” She was crying harder now.

Nick took his time formulating a response.

“We’ve all got unresolved issues. Every day something pops up.” He puffed on the pipe a few times mid thought. “If I’ve learned anything, it’s that we can’t hide from these things, no matter how far away you run.”

As if cued, Drake ambled toward Nick and rested his head in his lap.

At a snail’s pace, Nick continued, “I’ve been looking for resolution all this time. I have no idea where to find it. But, what if I can give it to you? Doesn’t that seem possible? Wouldn’t it be… worth it?”

“I just don’t want to hurt you any more. And I don’t want to lose you either.”

“Can you hurt someone in constant pain? What if you might help me? And after everything… all these years, I’m too invested to just give up on you, no matter how much you piss me off.”

“Do you truly want me to come stay with you?” Dana sobbed.

“Yes. Unequivocally,” Nick stated without hesitation.

“Okay.”

Next Chapter: Chapter 7