Hi, Muffy

They were small feet, slipped neatly into pink slipper shoes. They had tiny red dots or extra tiny flowers on them.

They were the long, thin legs normally found on an adolescent, and they ended at surprisingly short shorts. Above was a full-grown body. She wore a voluminous shirt with a pattern that looked like sprinkles or crushed nuts. Rather, Annie was so hungry that she was likening everything to food, in this case a caramel apple.

Annie realized she was very, very hungry. She was very thirsty, as well. She could smell something like salty, fried onions.

She got up very awkwardly and grasped the binder that she had been holding when she came down the stairs. She took the opportunity to look at the cover and remember what her company was called.

"I’m from Spiral Electric...in Spiral City," Annie said, making sure she still had her backpack.

"Spirex?" said the person, as though offended. Annie felt a wave of panic at the thought of being chased out of the valley. But she saw that the person was grinning.

She had a painfully serious but smirking face. "We haven’t heard from them in five years."

Annie didn’t reply. She just got up. The candy apple snickered.

"You’re hearing now," Annie squeaked like a doofus. "I’m Annie Marzsjeuy."

"I’m Muffy Waebraie-Fossaburn," said the person.

Annie struggled to remember what she had read in the binder. Nothing came up.

"Very good, I’m just going to—"

"Noone’s open today," cut in Muffy. "There are five barbecues. Tomorrow’s a big shock.”

Annie didn’t say anything, but stood with a stupid look on her face. The pondered the meaning of a society that scheduled shocks but still accepted them as shocks. It seemed highly organized.

She was thinking, alrighty then, and then trying to think.

"Maybe you can come see the barbecues," said Muffy. "I have to visit all five keepers today."

"Alrighty, then," Mumbled Annie.

"Yeah?" demanded Muffy. Annie repeated her agreement. Muffy still seemed offended.

She turned on her tiny pink feet and strutted back toward the valley. Annie followed, noting how much her pain had lessened.

It was nice green place. The smell of onions grew stronger. There was also the smell of grilled meat and butter. Annie was so hungry.

They went to a house that had a hedge for a fence. It had a cute rose-gold little gate that closed with a quiet and satisfying spring.

There were voices coming from within the house. Muffy strolled in like she owned it. Annie followed, feeling like a camera.

Muffy started greeting people. In one corner was a woman with silver hair, cutting a huge pile of onions. There were two other women standing with her. One was speaking and the others were listening intently.

"He never went back. The dog died waiting, but he waited," she said, while scooping cut onions into a bowl. She turned to the woman who was washing and peeling a bag of onions, who cleared her throat and spoke:

"Well, my brother was a courier back in the day, and he was saving his earnings for the entire summer..."

By that point Annie was out of earshot. Her eyes were starting to sting. Muffy went to a little table in the middle of a hard-floored room. It was sunk down several steps. There were lots of candles sitting on the table, mostly unlit. Muffy took a rose-gold one in a tall glass.

Annie quickly followed as she went through a hallway and outside. There was the food. Annie watched Muffy get into a queue of people holding candles. Annie herself took steps toward the food.

"Power to the people, Muffy," said someone. Annie turned to look and saw someone holding a tray of donuts.

"Power to the people, Tara," said Muffy. "This is Annie from Spiral, by the way."

"Oh, hey." Tarah smiled with genuine kindness, and added, "Muffy’s going to be here for a while, check out these donuts."

With gratitude, Annie ate a donut. But she was overwhelmed with thirst. Her mouth was so dry, that the hard sponge of donut seemed to scrape at her palate. She fought to chew up the sweet, sandy thing politely.

"I need some water," she was finally able to say, coughing quietly.

"Please!" scolded Muffy from afar. Annie shrunk in shame, but remained thirsty.

“Oh,” said Tarah, sincerely. “Of course."

Annie was hurrying away from the sound of Muffy’s voice, noting where Muffy had been in the queue.

There were some large metal tubs over open fires emitting strong meaty smells. One was all onions. Then she saw a table of little coconuts with little straws. She approached it and took one. It gave strangely in her hand. It was a cupcake. Out of obligation and still unsated hunger, she ate it. It still scratched but was still delicious. She carried around the little umbrella.

She found very small cups made from scooped out cucumbers. She suspected they might be alcoholic as she ate a second one. The fresh crunch of the vegetable was near enough to real hydration to relieve the feeling in her mouth.

She turned back to see where Muffy was, and went back that way.

Muffy was now standing next to a striped tent, talking to a guy with long messy blond hair that fell charmingly over his face.

"This is Annie from Spiral, by the way," Muffy said to the guy.

"Oh, hi. I’m Mike," said the very cute guy with his chiseled jaw and everything. "Sorry about the...uh...lack of road. No one’s been here from there in a very long time. But, do have some food. Try the sausages, if you can." and he turned back to Muffy. He was wearing a striped brown, red and orange shirt, and seemed to have two large feathers on a braided necklace. He suddenly seemed less cute.

Muffy just said, "Power to the people," and went into the tent. Then the guy was talking to the next person in the queue.

Annie turned toward the smell of sausage. They were covered in a thick green sauce that smelled like lemon and mint. She looked around to see if people had plates or what.

They all appeared to be eating with little skewers, or those umbrellas. She felt obligated to eat one, and then look for more water. She stabbed through a very small sausage with her toothpick umbrella. They weren’t link sausages. They were blobby little lumps, halfway between breakfast patties and slightly flattened meatballs.

Everything about the taste was a surprise. The sauce had chunks of something that tasted nutritious and leafy. It was lemony and minty. The sausage, besides, was...not at all the spices or meat she was expecting. She chewed and swallowed in thankful but bewildered hunger.

She looked around, trying to smile at the people who turned to look at her. They were clustered in groups or lined up at the tent where Mike was. They weren’t eager to come and talk to her. Relieved, she scanned until she saw a tiny table covered with little apple cups.

She took only one, wary that these probably had alcohol, too. As she drank it, the cinnamon stick slapped her wetly in the face and toppled to the grass. Looking down, she saw quite a few more that others had discarded, along with several empty apple cups.

She bit into the start anise and chewed it up, regretting the decision immediately. She could feel the hard little bits of it between her teeth and all over her mouth, but she couldn’t bear to litter any further. She drained the apple and ate the whole thing. Her face and hands were now dotted with sticky spots. Even more embarrassed than she thought was possible, she looked around for somewhere to wash. Fortunately, there was a little faucet and other people washing their hands.

Once clean, while a strip of skin still tingled from the bite of cinnamon, she checked the tent and hoped Muffy hadn’t come out and left without her.

With amazing timing, Muffy emerged from the tent, looking irritated. She greeted everyone she passed and found Annie, then strode furiously toward the exit at the back of the yard.

"Oh, they were turkey sausages!" Annie realized aloud.

Muffy shot her a fierce look.

"Um, duh," Muffy spat.

They didn’t go far before they turned into another yard. They moved through another house full of onions. Annie watched as Muffy took another votive. It was a tiny white candle inside a rose-gold cage. Annie smiled meekly at all of the people she met.

She realized that no one was alarmed by the sight of her, even with her enormous backpack. As Muffy moved outside and joined a large queue just like before, Annie moved to an empty corner and took out the binder on top and a little pen.

There were some blank log pages and she started taking notes about the barbecue. She made a list of things she’d seen at both and put little checks next to them. The first column of checks was titled, "Mike and Tara" She didn’t know the name of this guy.

The queue this time was much longer and she looked around for food or water. She wasn’t sure if she could go back in the house. She didn’t see anyone doing so.

This house had a pool and people were seated around it. On the other end of the yard, all the food tables were arranged in neat rows.

She saw, this time, little ruffled cups made of round mints. Someone had melted the stripy mints into thin sheets and shaped them into bowls. They appeared to be full of chocolate. She made a note to come back for one of those last.

The next group of cups appeared to be cookies. They looked like they were full of milk, which wouldn’t help her thirst.

Next to those were some marshmallow cups, also full of chocolate, but it looked very light.

And finally, a tray of little Krispy mugs, also full of chocolate and marshmallows.

There were also tiny ice-cream cones. Annie sighed in frustration and wrote down the drinks in the log. She took a marshmallow because it was small and she was so thirsty, even though the milk would probably make it worse.

She realized, sadly, that it was also alcohol.

The food table had a pyramid of neatly made mini-burritos. As she pondered who thought to pair little burritos with all manner of dairy drinks she took one, hoping for more refreshing vegetables. It was a single bite worth. As she ate it, she recognized Tara was there, again with a sincere smile. Tara had a round tray with a spiral of cheese and was bringing it to place next to the stack of burritos.

Unable to speak, Annie smiled and waved.

"Hi," said Tara. "I went home after I was at Mike’s to get this."

Annie tried to chew quickly, but also endeavored to smile. She couldn’t taste any vegetables. The wrap had been stuffed with cheese and juicy but very spicy beef.

"I have to go meet Jeff over there," Tara set down the cheese. inclined her little head towards the guy standing near a black and white tent. "But I hope I’ll see you again later on the crawl. Try some of this cheese. It’s my favorite."

Annie was still chewing when Tara disappeared. Her mouth was tingling with the spiciness. She got a little skewer and took the nearest cube of cheese. Dairy was supposed to be good for spice. It was incredibly salty and sharp. Somehow it was also spicy, but worth it. She went for a white cube of cheese. That soothed a little, but was also very salty.

Annie looked back at the line for the tent. Muffy was still in the back half of the line. She saw the young man greeting everyone. He seemed to be pretty quick. He only said a few words to each person before sending them into the tent. He wore a suit that was equal parts black and white patches.

He was holding a little burrito and bit it in half between meetings. She saw as he bit, blue oil slid out and dripped all over his hands. He bowed to the person apologetically. A figure moved so quickly it was a blur and handed him a black towel. He ate the other half of his burrito and wiped his hands.

Annie turned back to the food. There was another pyramid of burritos, and she noticed a little pool of that blue oil. She hoped the herb would be refreshing as she took one of these.

It was. That oily herb chilled her whole mouth, but the beef and cheese were also very spicy. Her mouth vacillated between hot and cold. She grabbed a little Krispy cup and tried to drink it. It turned out to be another cupcake disguised as a drink. She bit desperately into the crunchy bubbles of the cup. The sugar soothed a little, even as the cereal scratched at her dry mouth. The inside was nearly solid chocolate and intensely dark, but the pockets of marshmallow eased the burn.

She went for a cookie cup with milk. It turned out to be eggnog and stung with alcohol, but it did fight off the spice and some of the sharpness of the chocolate.

Worried about her breath, she took a little mint cup and went towards the line. The chocolate was also super dark, so sharp, and seemed to have alcohol mixed in. She took a bite out of the cup, planning to get two or three servings of mint, but it exploded red and white shards all over. She could feel a triangle stuck to her forearm. She cast around, looking for the little faucet to wash. It was at a bowl near the pool. The swimmers were impressively quiet.

She rotated her wrists to check her arms for mint shards. She picked some flecks off of the binder.

"Hey, Annie," she heard Muffy shouting. She hurried.

"This is Jeff. Jeff, this is Annie from Spiral."

Jeff bowed and said, "Oh, sorry about the mints. They’re sticking everywhere."

Annie flinched then followed his line of sight and saw there was a cluster of mint bits on her leg. Then Muffy jabbed a pointing finger where Annie was looking and trying to pick. "You’ve got crumbs on your trousers," Muffy announced and then turned and went into the tent.

"Oh, sorry," Annie said in general. She looked up and saw that Jeff was grimacing, biting his lip quite hard. He turned slowly toward the next person in line. Annie turned back to the sink and carefully checked herself for mint bits.

She checked her notebook and tried to tally up how many drinks she’d had. She tried walking in a straight line. She didn’t feel tipsy at all. She didn’t have a fuzzy sting in her forehead. She pulled her shirt taught and checked again for bits of mint.

Soon Muffy emerged from the tent and barreled toward the exit. Annie folded in behind her and hurried.

Next Chapter: Triple Barbecue