CHAPTER FOUR

Tap tap tap

The soft echo of rhythmic drumming stirred me from my sleep.

Tap tap tap

The pattern repeated itself more forcefully, the sound prodding at my thoughts like a physical nudge. Struggling against the crushing weight of my own eyelids, I groggily opened one eye and focused unsteadily on the room.

I was still slumped behind the couch, my head resting on an odd angle against the cold hardwood floor. My neck and back began to ache as my body slowly remembered its position and cried out in dull, cramped throbs of protest. Extending one leg for support, I shook my head to clear away the remaining cobwebs and pulled myself into a full sitting position with a reluctant groan.

Smoothing a hand down my face and yawning loudly, I emphasized the gesture with a sleepy stretch and tried to mollify my aching body. My mind allowed me only the briefest respite before it pounced, dousing me in the ice cold waters of memory.

My eyes snapped open and grew wide with the remembered images that inspired my unscheduled nap. Moving to my knees I spun to one side, gripping the back of the couch for support. Hesitantly I straightened and peeked over the scruffy leather edge of my makeshift barrier towards the locked living room window…

…and the source of the soft tapping sound.

The moon had risen high in the night sky. It licked over the tops of the surrounding buildings and washed everything beneath it in a bath of supple silver light. The moonlight gave the surreal quality of an old photograph, leeching vibrancy and color from all that it touched while simultaneously illuminating the world in a warm, gentle glow. It trickled and pooled outside my window, collecting on every surface until it lit up the fire escape like a stage, perfectly showcasing the figure that now stood in its center.

Tap tap tap

A tiny gray finger tipped with a ragged black nail rapped gently on the thin sheet of window glass like an announcer tapping on a microphone to get the attention of his audience. Startled blue eyes locked with beady black ones as I stared at the monster in shock.

It was same creature that was drinking milk from the cat's bowl.

The moon formed a sort of natural spotlight that brought the little man into startling detail. I crouched there transfixed, unable to do anything but gawk in amazement at the creature at my window. A dark intelligence gleamed in its eyes as it grinned at me, its lips parting in a mischievous smile that revealed rows of tiny, needle-like teeth.

Staring back at me in silent amusement, the creature pulled back its finger and slowly tapped against the window glass, this time pointing upwards as it finished. I followed its gesture, my eyes tearing from his as I looked to where it was indicating.

The window's lock.

Sudden understanding plowed into me like a cement truck causing the creature’s smile to broaden in response to my now fearful expression. My thoughts swam in a muddled blur and I felt myself numbly shaking my head “no” in a show of defiance. The motion was immediately parodied by the creature, its smile dangerously sharp as it nodded an opposing "yes".

Looking over its shoulder and into the distance, the creature let out a muffled bark not unlike that of a Chihuahua or other dog of equal size and annoyance. It cocked its head to one side as if listening before giving a small nod and turning back to face me with a deliberate slowness. Its tiny black eyes danced with the promise of mischief.

And then it winked.

At least a dozen figures, each nearly identical to the one that stood in the middle of my window crept forward like stalking cats. Pulling themselves from the shadows, they fell in behind their companion in complete silence.

"Oh shit." The curse came quickly and unconsciously, falling from my lips without a thought or feeling beyond immediate reaction. My grip on the back of the couch doubled and the old leather creaked as I tensed.

Tapping on the window lightly, the group's leader smirked, straightened its finger, and began to twirl it in a counterclockwise motion. The latch that locked the frame in place began to move on its own.

"Oh. SHIT." I swore again, my words now separated by a rush of terror-driven adrenaline as I sprung to my feet and vaulted over the back of the couch. Lunging forward I clutched the window latch with both hands and with a strength reinforced by fear, halted its travels and reversed the direction of the lock.

Thwarted, but still grinning from ear to pointed ear, the creature's eyes were alive with glee as it looked up at me. Slapping both of its tiny hands flat against the thin piece of window glass that separated us, it barked loudly and bared its many teeth.

I didn't care that the thing was only a foot tall, or that I probably outweighed it by a million pounds; instinct took over and with a startled shout I leapt backwards. Screaming girlishly, I flailed wildly and tried to shield my body from the promise of attack.

Throwing its head back in laughter, the creature let out a string of vicious barks and snapped repeatedly at the glass, clawing at it like a caged beast. Spittle and foam splashed against the window as the monster growled and gnashed in joyful ferocity, obviously amused by both my reaction and its own slobbery display.

With one last enthusiastic snarl, it wrenched itself away from the living room window and turned in a blur of astounding speed. With its entire brood in tow, the creature dashed across the fire escape and quickly vanished from sight.

Leaving me unexpectedly and somewhat embarrassingly, alone.

I stood there frozen in place with all of my weight balanced on one leg. The other jutted out in front of me, bent at an odd angle as it joined my arms in a humiliating attempt to protect myself. My heart was racing and my entire body felt like it was covered by an electric field. I wanted to move, to verify that they were gone, but I was rooted firmly in place by fear.

Before I could muster the will required to force my body to obey, the sound of shattering glass echoed from my darkened bedroom and a horrific realization gripped my heart in an icy grasp. My breath caught in my throat as I weakly tried to gurgle a scream, the urge to flee held fast by my body's unwillingness to respond.

Powerless, I turned my head towards the barely open bedroom door, the thin strip of pitch black that lead to its interior swallowing my vision as I stared. A tiny gray hand snaked out of the darkness and gripped the bottom of the door. Fingers flexing, the doorway began to widen with an agonizingly slow creaking sound ripped from the set of every horror movie ever filmed. A second hand joined the first as the hinges moaned even louder, the door screeching in nerve shattering protest.

My throat felt tight and closed upon itself as I tried to swallow. The sound of the door being opened by these creatures cut through me and ignited every primal fear at once as the creaking grew in intensity, swelling vehemently until it was joined by another even louder one.

Wait. Another one?

I blinked in bewilderment, the iron grip of terror loosening as my mind flinched in stubborn confusion at the sound's apparent duality. There was a rustle of movement from behind the door as both hands hastily disappeared back into the darkness of the bedroom. A scuffling sound followed by a chorus of slow creaks and stifled laughter were cut off by harsh whispering and the sound of flesh slapping against flesh.

As I blinked again, the fear that held me fast was replaced by a sort of stunned understanding; it wasn’t the door, but the creatures themselves making the noise!

"MERF!”

The gray figure that I had originally encountered at my window sprung from the darkness of the bedroom without warning and bared its teeth. Arms stretched above its head and flailing wildly, it danced from foot to foot in a passionate display as it barked.

“MERF! MERFMERFMERFMERF!"

It was trying to scare me.

Terror’s already faltering hold slipped in the light of realization as I turned to fully face my tormentor. The creature’s animated thrashing died down as it seemed to recognize that I was no longer paralyzed by fright. Slumping visibly, it let out a sigh of what could only be taken as disappointment. Slowly shaking its head, the monster brought a small hand to its face and pinched the bridge of its angular nose in frustration.

“Merf?” A barely audible bark whispered from the darkness of my bedroom, its tone hinting at curiosity.

The creature standing before me sighed once more and shook his head no, its tiny fingers repeatedly squeezing at the spot between its eyes. Several tiny hands appeared on the side of the door as it was pulled open a bit further to reveal the rest of the small horde that I had seen stalking the shadows of the fire escape. Dozens of black eyes darted between the figure in the door way and myself as more of the tiny fiends cautiously came forward.

"Merf?" One of the pack asked almost timidly, motioning towards me with an outstretched finger.

"Merf." Came the half-hearted reply as the creature that had only moments before been full of vigor and energy shrugged and waved a disappointed hand in my direction.

Fear replaced by awe, I took in the brood before me with a feeling of wonderment. Slowly lowering myself into a crouching position, I was careful to avoid any sudden movements that might have startled them.

“What are y-“ I started to ask, but my words were cut off as they unexpectedly surged forward en masse.

With no signs of further hesitation, my bedroom door flew open and the dozen or so creatures inside swarmed out in a frenzied mob. They bounded past me and into my small apartment, pouncing gleefully upon every open surface.

A few leapt into the kitchen and onto the counter, ripping open the cabinets in a chorus of excited “merfs”. More ran towards my entertainment center, scaling it in a shower of spilled games and DVDS as the rest disappeared into the other corners of the apartment.

They were everywhere.

"HEY!" I cried out, narrowly spinning in time to avoid a box of cereal as it flew by my head, its contents trailing behind like a marshmallow and grain filled comet's tail.

Uproarious laughter from the kitchen snagged my attention just as a box of microwave pizza zipped past in a remarkable parody of a sports disc and slammed into the living room wall. Dodging several thrown spoons and rolling pin that I wasn't even aware I owned, I fought my way towards the kitchen, but the little men were already abandoning their attack. They bounded from the counter tops and ran giggling past me as they flocked into the living room.

Something rope-like snaked its way around my ankle as I turned to give chase and I stumbled clumsily, nearly falling to the floor. Catching the edge of the windowsill, I wrestled to keep my balance and looked towards my feet.

One of the little creatures was quickly wrapping a lamp cord around my leg, skipping merrily as if he were decorating a maypole. Grabbing the power cable in one hand, I gave a sharp tug of defiance and felt it go slack. Kneeling to face my attacker and unravel the lamp’s cord, I took a breath in an effort to speak to it, but the creature was already gone. I caught a glimpse of it running back towards the kitchen, its beady eyes on some other goal as horrendous noise from the living room stole my attention.

There was a long, painful ripping sound from the couch as a large chunk of discolored foam shot out from behind it, quickly followed by another. Books flew off shelves and pictures shattered to the floor in a chorus of broken glass as the creatures darted chaotically through my apartment throwing or breaking everything that they touched.

"NOT THE TV!" I screamed in dismay as two of the little men bounded off the wall behind it in perfect unison, kicking furiously at the back of the enormous flat screen.

Staggering forward I reached out in an attempt to save my most prized possession, but I was slowed by the lamp that was weighing me down like an anchor. The television landed with a thunderous "WHUMP!" that shook the floor. Its assailants tumbled down upon it in a tangle of limbs and laughter, happily clapping each other on the back. There were a few angry crackles and the faint but acidic scent of an electrical fire filled my nose as the television gasped out its dying breath.

It was just too much to process.

My head began to swim and I felt myself wobble unsteadily despite my crouching position. Putting my hands to my face I closed my eyes and tried to focus on reality, blocking out the sounds and commotion around me.

This wasn't happening. This couldn't be real. I was hurt. Probably even brain damaged. This was-

"Meeeerrrrfff..."

Drawn out and almost beckoning, the impish tone of the odd bark roused me from the throes of my nervous breakdown. Still tangled and kneeling in the lamp's lengthy power cord, I opened my eyes and looked back towards the remains of my kitchen. The ringleader of the circus of destruction that had swallowed my home stood poised on the kitchen counter with a wide grin.

In one tiny hand he held my discharge papers, now tightly coiled and ablaze, burning like a crude torch. My attention won, an evil smile split his face as he held the improvised weapon at arm's length and danced it over a number of food containers and magazines that had been heaped into a mound.

"Eeeh? Eeeh?" The creature asked teasingly as he darted the flaming twist of papers back and forth over the stack.

It was trying to get a rise out of me, but I had nothing left to offer it.

"What?! WHAT do you want from me?!" I found myself pleading, my voice cracking with the desperate need to understand. My apartment and more likely than not my sanity were being destroyed by these…things. If they were going to take it all away from me, I had to at least know why.

Something about this had to make sense.

The little demon's features softened unexpectedly and its small frame slouched in visible sympathy. Beady black eyes fell as the creature glanced from the torch in its hand back to me, a look of sudden guilt spanning its face.

"Awww." It said as if in sudden realization of its own actions.

With a sigh it turned and climbed down the lattice of open drawers, an air of shame laboring its steps as it moved across the open kitchen towards where I was crouched. It stopped a mere foot or two away, its eyes wide and contrite. Where there was once malice and mischief, the small man now wore only a look of compassion as it sighed in apology and reached over to gently pat my knee.

"Awww. Merf." It said softly, the reassuring gesture tender and maternally sweet. It pursed its lips in a contrite smile as it tried to comfort me.

Despite the devastation around me, I felt a sense of awe warming me as I studied the little man, no longer distracted by fear or prejudice of the unknown.

"What...what are you?" I asked, the din of chaos that buzzed through my home momentarily forgotten.

The creature tilted its head to one side in a very canine gesture and smiled. The malevolence that had guided it before was gone and instead it offered a bashful grin. Nodding once in understanding of my question, its fragile chest puffed as it inhaled to speak.

Leaning in closely, its eyes kindly and full, the creature smiled broadly…and set my sleeve on fire.

"MEERRF!" The little monster cackled, throwing back its head as it laughed in triumph. With an odd victory jig, it tossed the flaming twist of papers across the room and into the already shredded couch. Howling in laughter it darted off, joining its brethren in a chorus of mocking giggles.

"SON OF A!" I yelped in a startled half curse.

Jumping to my feet I slapped at the fire with my free hand as I struggled to peel off my hooded sweatshirt, before repeatedly beating it against the kitchen floor. The flames whuffed out on impact and curls of gray smoke promptly replaced the burning flame of the unexpected fire.

Fire. That single word echoed soundlessly through my mind and tore at the pit of my stomach with an instinctual fear.

I spun towards the couch, my smoldering hoodie forgotten as my eyes focused on the growing bonfire that blazed in the spot where my sofa should have been. I lurched forward, the long lamp that once stood beside the living room window bumping along with me noisily, its cord still wound around one of my legs.

I bent, my fingers fighting against the loosely wrapped power cord as I tried to free myself.

As luck would have it, that action bought me the precious few inches of clearance that I needed in order to avoid being struck in the head by the large red cylindrical object flying past. It crashed loudly through the window behind me in a choir of broken glass and rang with the metal on metal chiming of a church bell as it tumbled down the fire escape and out of sight.

The fire extinguisher. I noted in a sort of detached acceptance. The lamp cord fell away as I shook my leg free and stood, taking in the full spectrum of damage that now encompassed my apartment.

Everything around me was burning.

The couch was now an inferno, its cushions fueling bright flames that burned with a heat so intense that the dark smoke licking at their tips was almost non-existent. A few of the creatures were taking the books from a toppled shelf and carefully igniting them at the fire’s edge before playfully tossing them like flaming Frisbees into the untouched corners of the apartment.

Intuitively I ran to the kitchen, my eyes searching the shambles of my cabinets for anything that would hold even a modest amount of water. Grabbing a heavily dented pot from a pile of shattered cookware, I shoved it into the sink and reached for the faucet knobs that were no longer there.

“Are you KIDDING me?” I screamed in disbelief.

Snatching the pot from the now useless sink I began to cough as I tried to pick my way across the living room while dodging as many of the creatures as I could. The light from the couch fire was unbearably bright and filled the air with the fetid stench of burning fabric. A thick gray smoke began to pool at the apartment’s ceiling and I had to shield my face from a wave of intense heat as I crouched to get my bearings.

Something above me creaked dangerously and compelled me to look up as the entire room vibrated ominously with the sound. The creatures destroying my home also froze, mirroring my movement as they cast their heads upwards and towards the smoke obscured ceiling. Exchanging glances and quick nods between themselves they dropped whatever they held in their tiny hands and filed wordlessly towards the broken window. Leaping nimbly through the shattered pane of glass, they landed on the fire escape and scampered off into the night without once looking back.

As quickly and as impossibly as they had appeared, they were gone.

Hot, stinging smoke filled my nostrils. It burned at my throat and forced me into a coughing fit that filled my already limited vision with silver tear drops from the effort. I breathed deeper in a desperate attempt at air and found myself almost overcome by the biting, noxious smoke. Flames licked around me unchecked, growing and engulfing everything that they touched as the fire consumed my small apartment.

Still coughing, I dropped to my hands and knees and tried to stay under the thick canopy of smoke that was pressing down upon me in a heavy mantle of swirling heat. Crawling through the debris littered room I made a dash for my apartment's entrance, my shattered possessions crunching under foot with each panicked step. Barely able to stand, I slammed into the door and scrambled to unlock it. Ignoring the flash of pain from the scalding handle, I ripped it open and threw myself into the hallway, bathing in the rush of cool clean air.

Staggering as my body was wracked with another powerful fit of coughing, I sank to my knees and leaned heavily on the wall opposite of my apartment, helpless to do anything but fight for breath. The deafening clatter of the building’s old fire alarm sounded and doors were flung open as the building's other occupants were roused from their sleep.

Smoke poured out of my doorway and raced the length of the hall which now vibrated with the stomping of fleeing tenants. Still immobilized by coughing, spots of light spattered against the back of my eyelids.

"YOU!" A heavily accented voice cried out in a furious bellow. Two incredibly strong hands seized me and hoisted me roughly to my feet. I tried to stand but my legs refused to support my weight.

"WHY YOU DO THIS?! WHY?!" The voice demanded and I was momentarily aware that someone was viciously shaking me as my landlord Mr. Peitonovich's face danced in and out of focus.

I opened my mouth to respond, but my words were dashed as the hallway snapped violently around me in fragments of broken vision. The world spun in a medley of flame and smoke as a meaty fist thudded into the side of my head, driving away whatever witty retort my brain was no doubt trying to form.

Somewhere in the distance, a voice repeated the word “why” in perfect timing with another powerful blow and the world began to slip away. The huge hands released me, tossing me backwards and I fell to the floor in a heap.

Head throbbing, lungs burning and exhaustion once again dragging me down into the merciful black of unconsciousness, I was still vainly trying to think of a smartass answer when my body went slack.