For a while he’d been staring at the ceiling.

The agony in his head had lessened considerably to a dull throb that kept him from moving too hastily. Though only one had required stitching, the two shallow gashes that were hidden mostly by his hairline ached whenever his expression changed too drastically. However, he assumed that the distinct lessening in pain likely stemmed from whatever he’d been given.

It had become lonely, dismal, and mind-numbingly boring in the infirmary. He didn’t have anything to keep him company aside from his thoughts and the occasional Dravara that dropped by to check on him. Officers had come to discuss patrols briefly before they were ushered out by an impatient medic by the name of Alec.

Rowena had come twice.

The second time had only been to assure him that all was well and taken care of in his absence. Despite her warnings, he needed to do something rather than sit in bed or he feared he would go mad. He needed a distraction, anything that would keep his memory from struggling to remember things that were long gone. He didn’t need to remember, he thought, and he already knew enough to break his heart.

Daniel sat up against the wall, leaning his head back and sighing as he stared absentmindedly at the door. He’d contemplated leaving, going for a walk even for a short while, but he knew that he’d only be sent back to bed again. Rest was all he’d been instructed to do and the lack of direction was almost concerning, worrying despite the fact he had nothing to worry over.

But resting was only making him more anxious and he’d been stuck on the same thought for most of the day. Aurora had told him how ridiculous it was to stay with the Dravara and, after having his reason to stay locked away, he was beginning to believe it.

Ten years was a long time to serve even when he’d only been meant to stay for four.

A knock at the door startled him back from his thoughts.

“Yes?” he called.

The door closed behind her, the sound as sharp as the smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “I won’t trouble you for very long.”

“I don’t mind. I get bored,” he replied, shrugging. “I’m feeling better…not completely fine but well enough.”

“You aren’t completely fine. In fact, you are very lucky there was no lasting damage to your head,” she added, clicking to his bedside.

“You mean besides memory loss.”

“Besides that,” Rowena agreed.

He pulled himself up, wincing. “Did you need something?”

“I’ve heard rumors and I would like to dispel them.”

Daniel swallowed. “W-what rumors?”

“Are you leaving us?”

He only stared down at the sheets.

“If this is about Aurora, I can assure you he will no longer be a problem.”

“I know, but,” Daniel stopped, shaking his head, “that’s not the problem.”

“Then what is?”

Daniel swallowed harshly, unsure of exactly what to say and cursing the fact he’d even mentioned it to any of the other officers. After ten years he could go, leave, and after ten years he could start over again.

He nodded. “The rumors are true.”

Rowena’s brow furrowed. “You are leaving us then?”

“I can’t say for sure but I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I’ve served for nearly ten years and most only stay for two-“

“Yes.”

Daniel looked down again, shivering at the ice in her gaze as she sat down on the side of his bed.

“You know you are welcome here, always. Some of my more experienced officers have a hard time adjusting to the world again. I would advise you to stay.”

It startled him how her words could sound threatening and yet so lifeless, without inflection and spoke as if she’d said them dozens of times over. He reached up to rub at the back of his neck, nodding his head and half wanting to take back everything he’d said about leaving. “I know but I don’t think I can stay here anymore. I stayed so long for Aurora and I don’t want to leave you-“

“Don’t blame yourself. We all knew what would happen to Aurora eventually.”

“I-“

“Rest,” she said, standing slowly. “You should be able to leave within the next day if you do. But if you’ll excuse me, I should be getting back to work. Organizing patrols is much more difficult than I remembered. My father was always better at this than I. When he led, things were much more…well, I’m not sure how to put it.”

“I never met your father, did I?”

She smiled, shaking her head. “No, you never did. I was too young to take charge right away but Benjamin eventually relinquished his rank to me. In honor of my father, I suppose. It was a kind gesture, but seeing how close he and my father were, it wasn’t exactly a surprise."

“In honor of your father?”

“He was killed while riding, injured after his horse fell and killed by one of those monsters. I was with him at the time and while I was young, I still remember the blood,” she paused then, eyes glimmering sadly, “the face of the monsters. You know, Norton, I’d rather not talk about this. You will have to forgive me, but I should be going.”

“Y-you don’t have to leave. I don’t mind…” Her expression didn’t change but something in her eyes made his words trail off into nothingness.

“It’s a shame. Things get rather dull without you here, Norton. I do wish you would stay,” she said, hand briefly closing over his.

He only smiled, half fondly and half in fear of what would happen if he didn’t return the grin. “I’ll…think about it more.”

A small nod was the only reply she gave before she was gone, door closing and leaving Daniel to lean back against the wall again. He sighed, staring up once more and feeling the thought of how stupid it had been for him to stay began to return. He could have left six years ago had it not been for Aurora and the rather complicated proceedings that occurred. Something felt wrong but not enough to stop him. He’d leave as soon as he was well enough even if it meant leaving without Aurora.

It was the one bit of certainty he could cling to.

Two days had come and gone and they hadn’t come nearly as quickly as he would have liked. He’d hardly slept, tortured by his own apprehensiveness while his nerves seemed only to shred themselves further the long he sat. Leaving was something he’d already decided upon but it wasn’t the actual act that bothered him.

Aurora.

“Officer Norton?”

He turned quickly, startled by the voice of the boy he hadn’t known was there. A sigh escaped him as he rubbed at the back of his neck, eyes falling. “You really don’t have to call me that. I’m retiring, remember?”

The stable boy nodded. “I know, but…I just thought you’d like to keep it. Most of the officers seem proud of it. But I was asked to help you-“

“Tell Rowena I’m perfectly fine on my own. I just want to be left alone,” he said, pausing, “please.”

“Of course, sir. I’ll leave you to your…own.”

Daniel nodded, turning to tighten the girth on his saddle, glancing up to the saddlebags that were stuffed with most everything he owned. However, when he turned, the boy was still standing there.

“Can I help you?”

“If it helps at all…I don’t think Officer Aurora killed those men. I’ll go but I just wanted to say that. I know he was your friend-“

“A-Aurora isn’t an officer anymore either.”

The boy shrugged, nervously glancing up from his feet. “I heard a lot of stories about the creatures, you know? But my town called them grimalkin, or something like that. I’ve heard some things since I got here about them though and the officers, they don’t pay attention to a stable boy when they’re talking.”

“What isn’t there to believe? Aurora-“

“I’m sorry, sir. I wasn’t trying to say anything wrong but I just think Rowena has a lot of explaining to do. That’s all,” the boy replied with a shrug.

“That’s a dangerous thing to say.”

Daniel looked up from the boy, hearing a second voice he recognized and dipping his head to the woman that approached.

“You aren’t trying to start rumors now, are you?”

“N-no, ma’am. I’m not trying to start anything. I was just talking to Officer Norton about his friend and-“

He cut himself off, shuffling backwards a few steps down the rows of stable doors. “I didn’t mean anything. I’ll get back to work.”

The boy was gone then, disappearing out of sight and Daniel looked up at the other officer he’d met on the very first day they arrived. She smiled, a huff sounding from her as her eyes turned to him. “We’re all sad to see you go, Norton.”

“I want to say I’m sorry to be going but I’m not sure that’s entirely true.”

Alexandra snorted. “You don’t have to get all gushy, now, kid.”

“Assuming you heard I was leaving?”

Her arms crossed in front of her chest. “We all did. Rowena let all the officers know because we are in need of someone to take over.”

Daniel swallowed, looking down at his boots. “I’m sorry to leave so quickly. I just- I can’t stay-“

“Don’t worry. We’ve got things handled,” she answered with a laugh.

He smiled, shaking his head. “It seems like you never needed me to begin with. Does she have anyone to replace me already?”

“Heard talk of a younger officer. Harriet is he name, if I remember correctly. Know her?”

Daniel thought for a moment, reaching up to rub at his head and finding himself wincing when he brushed over the healing scratches tucked behind his hair.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“How’s the head?” she asked, tilting her head to look at the side of his face.

“It’s not…it’s not great,” Daniel admitted.

“Should you really be leaving so soon then?”

He shook his head, paused and then let a sigh escape from him. In some ways, she was probably right but the thought of staying was too much for him to bear. It only made the guilt, the regret that he’d let things go so far, worse to the point where he could barely sit still.

“I can’t stay.”

“Is she giving you a place to go?” Alexandra asked.

“A cottage,” he answered with a nod, “a cottage out west.”

A laugh. “Well, I can see why you’re leaving us.”

“It’s not the cottage…I just can’t…”

“I understand. It’s hard staying when you know you could be out there.”

Daniel shifted his weight from side to side. “It’s not that. It’s more just that I’m afraid of leaving this place without…well, you know.”

“You don’t have to explain. No one is faulting you for leaving. You lived through something that few of us would have been able to. No one blames you, Daniel.”

“Thank you,” he breathed out in something he didn’t mean to be a sigh.

They were quiet for a moment and he reached up to run a hand over his horse’s neck distractedly. He looked down the rows of stables, wondering where the boy had gone before his eyes rose back to the officer once more.

“Will you do something for me?”

“Of course,” Alexandra answered. “What do you need?”

Daniel swallowed, glancing down the row once more. “Be sure…she knows.”

“Excuse me?”

“Rowena, be sure you tell her. I think she might want to know.”

Alexandra frowned, eyes flashing to where he was looking. “It might be for the best she doesn’t.”

“Why?”

Silence.

“Just….please.”

While she may have answered, Daniel only waved her words away as he turned and started off out of the stables. Alexandra didn’t follow, only calling after something that Daniel was too anxious, too distracted to hear clearly.

“Daniel.”

He paused, not turning. “Yes?”

“Be careful.”

“You too.”

The more he thought about it, the more morbid it began to sound. He shook the thought away, trying not to think about much of anything aside from the freedom waiting for him just outside those gates. He could go, finally, he could leave.

Daniel climbed into the saddle, turning when he heard hoof beats approaching from behind him.

“Officer Norton, sir. Will you allow us to escort you to the border?”

He swiveled in the saddle, turning to look at the face of a few men he recognized and nodded to each of them. However, he then smiled, shaking his head.

“I’d rather go alone. Will you tell Rowena I’ve gone?”

One of the men nodded while another gestured up towards the top of the keep were the image of a figure stood between the glass eyes that peered out across the courtyard. Daniel couldn’t bear to look for long, attention returning to ahead of him when the familiar creak of the gate sounded.

“Good luck to all of you.”

A chorus of voices wished the same.

Daniel drove his heels against his horse’s side, spurring into a canter as he traveled for what he hoped would be the last time away from the stronghold. He couldn’t look back or risk his mind changing, but for some reason he couldn’t help but feel something that was unsettlingly close to guilt.

“Vex it all,” he murmured under his breath.

He and Aurora had sworn that once their time with the Dravara, they would be gone without a trace. Daniel remembered that, the half promise he’d made to keep his word on the subject. The stronghold had never been anything close to a home but Aurora had made it feel like less of a prison.

The moment he turned to look back in the saddle, he cursed himself when he saw the gates had closed behind him. A ghost of a figure stood atop the archway, staring down at him for a moment before disappearing the moment he blinked.

Apprehension, that’s all it was.

Daniel spurred his horse onward, reaching up for the scarf around his neck and tugging at the knot at his throat until it came free. It fell, drifting down slowly and disappearing behind him along with whatever rank, title, and anything else he’d earned himself. It was behind him, nothing more than a memory.

You know you are welcome here, always.

Her word’s rang in his head and had been there ever since she’d spoken them. He couldn’t stay, he thought. Though, however briefly, one thought rose above the rest. A journey was ahead of him but the idea was simply shoved back with the rest of the confusion in his head. After nearly ten years, he could start over again.

Finally, he was free.

Next Chapter: Chapter 24