“Stop, momma, stop it!” Lucan cried. “It…it was me! I tried to play cards… but I lost it all.” Lucan was sobbing as he cried the words out. He didn’t care that he would be punished for these lies. He only wanted his mother to be safe.

“Momma-!” Lucan cried out as he woke up from the latest nightmare, half-drunk bottle of ale knocked over his floor. He shoved the bottoms of his palms into his eyes so hard he saw stars. Thanked the Gods that they had thought to make his quarters soundproof. Then came the desire to vomit, he barely made it to the bathroom before emptying his stomach. Finally he sat, collapsed on the floor, feeling the cool tile under his legs, wall pressed up against his back. The sweat on the clothes he had fallen asleep in cooling and making him chilly, but it was better than the emptiness. He didn’t care that he was crying again like the 13 year old boy in his dream

After what seemed like hours, he rose and stripped off the clammy, sweat stunk clothes, leaving them to lie on the floor. Stepping into the cleaner, he let the vibrations wash over him, trying to will the dream with it. For all the good the sonic did at removing dirt and grime and the stink of the real world, the shame of the past was something he was going to bear forever. He did feel somewhat better afterwards and dressed himself a plain tunic and leggings. He did not bother to redo the braids. Gathering the necklace he wore like a talisman, he refastened it and tucked the wings under the shirt, next to his heart. He looked at himself in the mirror and saw the face usually described as handsome becoming gaunt, blueish marks under the eyes from lack of sleep. Even his hair was not as shiny as it had been weeks ago. It was worry over Trini, he told himself. Once she was better, he would go back to ‘normal’, not that he could remember what normal was. The clock on the table read 457.