St Leonard’s annual scholar’s awards was held at the school each year to honor its top performers. It was always held in November; close to the end of the school semester so as to give every student a fair chance to ‘shine.’

The event was attended by all students; no exceptions accepted as their attendance accounted for 15 percent of their annual end of year attainment. Parents too were invited to share with and be proud of their children. Past students would normally stop by to extend words of encouragement and often times some top notch university reps would come to recruit.

Jordyn’s parents wouldn’t have missed it for the world. As a matter of fact; they had seats reserved out in the front as she was being presented with a prestigious award for her extraordinary work in New York. The award was being presented by her culinary instructor; world famous executive chef Lezonya Sewelle.

The evening carried on in high spirits. Chef Sewelle had tuned in via skype as she was still based in New York finishing up the remaining months. Her speech was centered on the relationship she had built with Jordyn. She also explained and commended Jordyn on her undeterred focus and determination.

Through the remarkable story Miss Sewelle told; the audience learnt of Jordyn’s struggles and perseverance and just what it took for her to make it back here without completing the 12 months of training required to pass this course; but somehow managing to land a distinction. It was a long and painful story but Miss Sewelle didn’t go into details; she instead made it charismatic and playful.

See after Jordyn learnt of her grandmother’s passing; the communication she had back home became more and more frivolous. It was apparent that all she wanted to do was get a little help to come back home before the funeral but her parents kept telling her there was just not enough money. Jordyn was devastated and really hurt. She felt abandoned and depressed to the point where she fell back so quickly. One day she finally sat down and had a face to face chat with Miss Sewelle. Out of genuine concern for Jordyn’s drastic attitude change towards class; Miss Sewelle reached out for answers. She was prepared to hear something completely different from what Jordyn told her but none the less, it broke her heart. Jordyn was offered a deal she would have been stupid to refuse. It was her only way out so she had to make it work.  Miss Sewelle told her that if she had passed the final exam; though they were only halfway through the course – she would fund her entire trip back home. That day Jordyn made up her mind; and the rest is history.

After requesting the 12 month course syllabus. Jordyn took two weeks to prepare. Miss Sewelle spoke like a proud mother; even shed a few tears throughout her speech because she actually witnessed the struggles Jordyn went through and she knew what happened underneath the surface.

Jordyn went up to collect her award. She in turn was requested to give her two cents. It would have been impolite not to; especially after being spoken of so highly.

Even though all she really wanted to do was pretend like the last six months of her life never happened; but it was just too freaking hard when it seemed like that was the only thing people wanted to speak about when they ran into her. Since she’s been home all she’s been hearing was ‘how was New York? Did you have fun while you were away? How’s it been overseas?  Any new skills from that fancy culinary arts place? All constant reminders of the last six dreadful months of her life.

Yes she did spend the last six months learning culinary arts from one of the world’s greatest in the business and yes she had some fun times; but this was not at all what people imagined it to be. People saw this great opportunity and envied her thinking it was handed to her on a silver platter; but what they saw is only the tip of the iceberg, if only they knew the horror she lived through.

This was a boot camp masked as a culinary workshop. It was a cruel and unfair punishment under the guise of a once in a lifetime opportunity. However, when it was all said and done, it was her life for the past six months. In more ways than one; she learnt, she grew, she accepted but most of all she survived. That was more than she could have said for some of the other students that were unfortunate enough to be selected for this ‘once in a lifetime opportunity.’ It was an experience like no other but an experience nonetheless so she shoved all the bad memories aside and tried to sound appreciative.

“Well I’m grateful to be in a position to accept this well-earned and well deserved award. The last month I spent in New York burning the midnight oil and burning the candles at both end so to speak.-” She began. “I was grieving the loss of my grandmother whom I was very close to. Before passing; she was my number one supporter and my main motivator to the very end…

Though I was grieving; I had to keep my eyes on the prize.” Jordyn explained on, “from the moment I set foot on that plane; I knew what I was heading there to get, and I was determined not to leave without it. Then it was a case where I had to pass. It wasn’t just my personal goal anymore. It needed to happen because I needed to be here and that was only possible with the help of Miss Sewelle.” She shared some anecdotes and some of her fondest memories. The people out in the audience along with her parents smiled broadly. Pictures were being taken of her for the local paper. This achievement would be one to go down in history. She made them all proud but deep down she was disgusted at all those smiles. Only she knew the price she paid just so they could be worn so boldly; and it wasn’t cheap.

“I also want to extend my sincerest gratitude to my mentor Miss Sewell. She was an amazing instructor and an even more amazing friend. Also; I want to thank the school board for extending this offer to me on such a short notice. I can’t imagine the strings they must’ve had to pull to get me included in this program. She smiled at the board members who were present as she spoke. She knew they all saw right through her farce but she didn’t care. What was happening beneath the surface cut way deeper than flesh and they all knew it.

She remembered the day her life went up into flames; when the school newspaper was allowed to publish an anonymous article on her ‘indecent’ relationship. All heads began to roll when these same bastard seated before her in this very same moment stormed the halls of this school in high pursuit to destroy something that had absolutely nothing to do with them in the first place. And that they did do; they ruined her.

After they had finished tearing her down; the very next day she was dragged before them once more. Sad, broken hearted, traumatized, on the verge of a mental breakdown, she felt lower than the scum of the earth and yet there she was seated in the office amongst them. Her dad begged them to squeeze her in several programs just until the controversy died but at that point in time all the programs were jammed packed. He drew the friendship card on them as he was high school chums with most of the board members but that didn’t work in his favor this time around. Utterly disgusted with Jordyn; he spoke about her like she wasn’t even in the room. That day they left with the impression that it was all over and done with. There was nothing anyone could do to help her parents out of this situation. At that moment it was more about the disgraced parents than the severely damaged daughter. To her surprise however; only two days after that meeting she was being scurried out of bed at 3AM to catch a flight she knew absolutely nothing about. No warning, no time to prepare, pack nor say bye to her friends; she was just casted out. They finally got rid of the problem once and for all. It wasn’t until three months after she learned the real truth about how it all worked out so well for them.

“I also wanna give a tremendous thanks to my parents for the push.” She continued her speech; emphasizing the ‘push’ a little more than was needed. “Maybe I should say shove.”  She joked. But she could see her parents shuffling all about. It was obvious they were having the very same flashbacks that she was and they looked overly uncomfortable and flustered.

“I’m just gonna go all out and tell you what really happened." She chuckled and she could see the terror in her parent’s eyes as she engaged the audience. She was almost certain they had crapped themselves. “It’s a very funny story. You see my lovely parents they were just so eager and anxious to get rid of me that they pooled together all their savings to fund this trip in no time at all. They even had to pay a little over because I was a late addition.” She explained further. “Thank God it was only New York!” She carried on and the crowd chuckled along with her but her parents at that point in time just wore a grimace. “Yeah because; what if it was some faraway place like Switzerland??” The crowd continued to crack up but on the inside Jordyn was dying because only she knew the extent to which she suffered. Only she knew the many tears she cried begging and beseeching her parents day and night; night after night – only to hear ‘no’ at the end of every single conversation. The very poor excuse was that there was just not enough money after they found it so quickly to send her away in the first place. It was a very hard pill to swallow but she finally did in the end. They just didn’t want her back. “You laugh now but in all honesty; they were doing what they thought was best for me because that’s what parents do. So thank you for all the support mom and dad.” She finally ended.

Jordyn step down from the podium and was met by Camille; who had been waiting for her.

“Ballsy speech J!” She commended.

“Yeah did you see how my parents almost shit themselves?!” Jordyn laughed.

“If proud was a person; I’d totally be her right now.”

 They both laughed and joked throughout the rest of the ceremony.

Jordyn exited the building after the event was over. K’arra sat alone by the fountain out in front. This was it for Jordyn; she was determined to make a move and it was now or never. As she approached K’arra; she felt those nerves starting to set in. She tried her best to block everything else out; her only focus at that point was K’arra.

‘Baby steps J; just say hi. Baby steps J; just say hi.’ She echoed over and over in her head as she got closer. It had been so long since she had a crush on someone. The butterflies in her stomach felt like they were rioting. It was almost unbearable.

Everything was going – so far so good. She was almost there when – “SPLASH!!”

She ran into Dre. His smoothie overturned onto her shirt and everything spilled over on her breasts. Dre immediately took his shirt off and started patting her down; helping to get her dry.

“Sorry Dre! I was distracted. I wasn’t looking where I was going.” She offered nervously.

“No J; I was gazing too.” He laughed. “Sorry about that.” Dre offered in turn as he continued patting Jordyn dry. “DAANG Jordyn! I didn’t know you were this grown up. We should go out sometime.” He followed up as he finished patting her dry.

Jordyn followed his gaze to her breast and slowly backed away. “I think I’m good now you perv; leave me alone!” Dre chuckled and scratched his head sheepishly. Now hot with embarrassment; both of them looked over his shoulders simultaneously at K’arra who seemed very irritated and annoyed at the scene before her. She rolled her eyes and looked away from them.

Dre immediately rushed over and planted a kiss on her. A display that cut Jordyn to the core. She turned to leave because it was just too difficult for her to watch Dre loving the girl she had developed so much feelings for even before meeting her. As she started to walk away; she noticed Dre was getting ready to leave too.

It took some time for her to make up her mind but she finally decided to stay and wait until he left her alone once more.

Soon K’arra was alone once again. Jordyn finally manned up and walked over to her. “Hey! Ummm --- K’arra right?” Jordyn begun.

“I saw what you just did there!”

“Uh; what are you talking about?”

“I saw how you just walked right into him! That was so childish.” K’arra snarled bitterly. “That’s the kind of pickup game I used in kindergarten.”

 “First of all!” Jordyn retorted; a bit confused at the trail the conversation took. “You had a pickup game in kidnergarden?!” Her question was met with silence as if K’arra quickly picked up on how stupid her comment was. “My name is Jordyn by the way; Jordyn Deveroux.”

“I know who you are.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“You were popular around here; Queen B until you left. ‘Were’ being the operative word.” K’arra snarled once more. “I’ve been here what like 6 months? – and I’m already bigger than you ever were!” She flouted.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was a competition.” Jordyn replied; even more confused than before.

“Listen you need to stay the fuck away from Dre! He’s taken.” K’arra warned fiercely; pointing a finger into Jordyn’s face.

Jordyn gently held onto K’arra’s outstretched finger and smiled while balling it up into a fist.

 “Let me make this clear to you –” Jordyn’s response was calm and composed. “If you ever point your finger in my face like that again; I will rip it off whichever hand it’s attached to.” 

K’arra quickly retracted her arm and kept looking around nervously. It was easy to tell she was just a front; nothing more than a coward beneath the surface. “What’s with this dirty ass attitude anyways?! You and I both know it doesn’t suit you!” Jordyn hissed angrily. “I don’t even know why the hell I even bother to waste my time coming over here, cute girls are always crazy as hell or ridiculously insecure!”

Jordyn got up to leave. She looked down at K’arra; completely disappointed in the whole conversation. She felt like she had wasted ten minutes of her life for nothing at all. As she was about to walk away she sought to clear the air before leaving. “Let me make this clear; Dre is Camille’s cousin. They’re like brother and sister and Camille is my best friend, she’s like a sister to me too.” She explained. “You might not see me speaking to Dre on the regular these days but that doesn’t change the fact that we grew up together. He’s like a brother to me. I have zero interest in him.”

“Oh thank God!!!” K’arra exclaimed excitedly which only added more substance to Jordyn’s previous insult; she was overly insecure.

 “I’m really relieved you just said that! I’m sorry for acting so shallow and air headed but its’ just what is expected.” She offered her explanation in return. “This isn’t me! I don’t know how you did it; this popularity thing. Everyone is expecting a different version of you. They want humility but expects you to still be fierce. They expect you to not be a pushover but always want you to say ‘yes’ to everything and ‘no’ to everything else. They are all just watching and waiting on you to slip up so you can be just another whatsapp status or another insta-story or just another headline in the school’s newspaper” She continued ranting on. “I am so drained you know. They expect perfection and I am so far from it! Do you have any idea what that’s like?!” She exclaimed breathlessly. That was a mouthful and a lot for Jordyn to absorb. “Please don’t tell anyone I said all that. It just felt good to get it all out there; I honestly don’t know where it came from.”

Jordyn sighed. “You don’t need to freak out. Believe it or not; I don’t have anyone to tell that crap to anyway.”

It wasn’t hard for Jordyn to empathize. She recalled a point in time just about 7 or 8 months prior when she had just about everything going for her. She had more friends than she even knew what to do with and a social status that everyone envied. Everyone liked her but she didn’t have to be anyone but herself; so that was the major difference. In the end though; she finally realized that the friendships and whatever social ranking she had didn’t matter. All of that meant nothing. She learnt the hard way just how useless it all was.

She was depressed; her life fell apart and when it did her social status only did more harm than good. As far as friendships; of the dozens she considered to be her friends – Camille was the only one that stayed in her corner. Looking at K’arra Jordyn only saw an innocent life on its way to destruction. It was all too similar to hers.

“It’s not all that it’s cracked up to be and yeah I know exactly what it’s like.” Jordyn sighed once more. “I’ll see you around K’arra.”