I keep a small kit with me. It’s gloss black about five by four by three quarters. With a press it accordions open and inside is almost everything you’d need to get out of a jam. Inside you’ll find a set of lock picks, a flat metal multipurpose tool, very high strength cord (not long but very handy) a flash light, a folding knife and a flimsy magnifying card that is kind of useless. It only magnifies up to 1.5 it’s relatively pointless. Someone thought it was helpful to have a magnifier that only goes to 1.5… I guess it’s useful for the geriatric time traveler who is stuck some place and needs to read a menu. But still I should thank whoever made the kit. I can’t take credit for it but I’m sure I would have thought to put it together eventually.

The picks are handy. Does anyone know how to pick a lock? Well I guess that’s what I’m here for. To entertain and inform. You first start out by taking the “L” shaped piece. The one that’s just flat metal. You then put the small end into the lock. Either at the top or bottom whichever gains you access to the pins. Then if it’s a real basic lock take the one that curves up at the end then push up the pins until you feel a release of tension on the “L” shaped piece and the lock pops open. If not then use the zigzag one. Stick it in and go to town. Rock it back… rock it back and forth… pull it in and out. I usually find that this way works on master locks the best. It’s not really great for handcuffs but… goddammnit I suppose you can use the hook one for that. I probably don’t have to explain the rest of the kit. Who doesn’t know how to use a flash light? It’s all pretty self explanatory unless you’re from the eighteen hundreds or something. I guess that’s a good point. Okay fine. The flash light is the flat silver card that bulges out at the end. Press the bulge and it turns on. Jesus I forgot how naïve people from the past are.

Next Chapter: Excerpt from Chapter 1 part 2