Kira stood in the middle of the main hold of the Havok, to her right Gregor sat at a table eating and avoided all eye contact. The other three were currently huddled in the far corner of the hold, arguing about what to do with her. It was a situation she had found herself in far too often in her short life.

They thought that they were being discreet about it but she could hear every word.

“She can’t stay here,” Ram said.

“So what, do you want me to turn all the way back around so we can take her back?” Sol asked, gesturing off into the distance.

“It’s a better idea than–“

“She must have had a reason for sneaking aboard,” Cole said, cutting Ram off. He’d seen the look in her eyes when she was cornered back in the restaurant. She knew when to run, and she wouldn’t have just done this on a whim.

“I don’t care what her reason is,” Ram shouted, “she can’t be here.”

“We could drop her off somewhere safer maybe?” Cole said, trying to find a solution.

“We can’t just go jaunting off across the galaxy to drop off some lost child,” Ram said, “or have you forgotten why we’re out here in the first place?” Ram’s face dropped, he knew he’d stepped over the line. “Cole, I–” The guilt was clear in his voice.

“It’s okay Ram,” Cole said, waving the apology away.

“What I was trying to say is,” Ram said, gathering himself, “is that I wasn’t sure if having her around would be the best thing for the mission, or for you.”

Kira couldn’t see their faces, and didn’t know what the mission was that they were yelling about, but she did know one thing. Their conversation had gone on too long without her getting a say.

“Excuse me?” Kira asked, her voice getting lost amongst the noise of the argument. She stomped over to where Gregor was sitting and took the bun that he was currently in the middle of eating.

“What are you doing?” Gregor asked.

“Getting their attention,” Kira replied. She returned to the centre of the room and hurled the bun at the trio. It smacked into the back of Ram’s head with quite a bit of force.

“What the–” Ram said, then upon realising what had happened and where it had come from, her turned to Kira, “what?”

“I would like to stay,” Kira said, squaring her shoulders.

“Well it’s not up to you,” Ram said.

Gregor moved to stand next to Kira. “I think she should stay, at least–”

“It’s not up to you either,” Ram snapped at Gregor.

A silence fell on the room, Kira looked at Gregor and smiled. He smiled back.

Kira took a step forward towards the others. “I can’t go back there,” she said.

Ram took a step forward also. “Well tough–” He was cut off by Cole’s hand on his shoulder.

“Why can’t you go back Kira?” Cole asked.

“There’s nothing for me to go back to okay?” A tear formed in the corner of her eye. “I-I’m on my own. I don’t have anywhere else to go.” Cole could see she was hiding something, Ram could too.

“And that’s the only reason?” Ram asked.

Kira shuffled her feet on the ground, her strong footing from their earlier confrontation was nowhere to be seen. “There was some, trouble,” she said, head down.

“You don’t say,” Ram said as he walked away from the conversation.

“What happened love?” Sol asked.

“It’s okay,” Cole said after a few moments of silence.

“I, uh,” Kira said, “my parents, they died when I was very young. I’d been living in a shelter in the housing district. I was one of the older kids, been there the longest.” –Kira walked over and sat down on the table– “For the last couple of years, every other month, a man would come, take one of the kids, and leave. Like clockwork.” –She looked up and Cole, a tear now rolling down her cheek– “Two weeks ago he came, and he chose me.”

Cole looked at her and he couldn’t quite place the look in her eyes. “What happened Kira?” Cole asked as he moved closer.

“I, I didn’t go with him,” she said, “I got away.”

“Got away?” Sol asked.

Kira brushed away the tear from her cheek and her face hardened. “He can’t hurt anyone anymore.”

Cole saw it now, he was sorry he hadn’t seen it sooner, he might have been able to avoid putting her through reliving it. The strength he had seen in her eyes earlier had now been replaced with guilt. He’d seen it in the mirror many times before. The guilt of taking a life was something someone as young as Kira should never have to experience.

“She stays,” Cole said, “at least for now.”

Kira blinked away the tears and looked at Cole, his smile was sympathetic, and sincere. She was surprised to find the same look on the other faces in the room as well, even Ram’s. She smiled a small smile. “Thank you,” she said, her voice quiet. Maybe this time she could truly be safe.

“Gregor?” Cole said.

“Yes?” came the reply as Gregor stepped to his side.

“Why don’t you find Kira a place to sleep,” Cole said.

“There’s a room down by main storage that’s got a spare cot in it,” Sol said, pointing down the corridor.

“So they don’t let you in on the decision making?” Kira asked, plopping down on the cot. The room was small, and dark. It seemed like it’s main purpose was extra storage space, if the boxes stacked along the end wall were any indication.

“Oh, no,” Gregor said, “I’m only new.” Kira scrunched up her nose.

“So?” she said, “I thought you guys were like a team?”

“Well, we are.”

“Doesn’t it bug you that you don’t get any input?”

“It’s not my place to give input,” Gregor said.

“Well thanks for sticking up for me,” Kira said.

“Oh, uh, no problem,” Gregor said, his eyes glued to the floor. “I’ll uh, let you get settled in, I have to get back. Important mission stuff,” he said finding any excuse to remove his awkward self from the situation.

“Gregor?” Kira said as he went to leave.

“Yeah?”

“Try sticking up for yourself some time,” she said with a smile, “you might be surprised what can happen.”

“She alright?” Cole asked Gregor as he came back into the room.

“I think so,” Gregor said.

“This isn’t a permanent situation,” Cole said, to everyone this time, “I just want you all to know that. My hope is that we’ll be able to find somewhere safe to drop her off along the way.”

“We can only hope,” grumbled Ram.

“We couldn’t just blast her out the air lock Ram,” Cole said.

“I know, I know.”

“Right, so now we have to talk about the next stop,” Cole said.

“Where we headed?” Sol asked.

“We need to make a detour,” Cole said as he leaned against the side wall of hold.

“What kind of detour?” Ram asked.

Cole knew they weren’t going to like this. “I need to have my implants reactivated,” he said, silence flooding in in the wake of the words.

“Implants?” Gregor asked, breaking the silence. Cole rolled up the sleeve of his shirt to show Gregor the scars, and the metal that poked through them.

“You’re a Synth?” Gregor said, his mouth falling open, “but, that’s, you can’t be, the Federation–”

“There was a grace period following the end of the war,” Cole said, “any synth’s could join the Federation forces if they agreed to have their implants deactivated as a condition–”

“But even still, it’s forbidden for anyone to be a Synth now,” Gregor said, “this is crazy.” Gregor looked around at Ram and Sol for backup but they just sat there. “Did you know about this?” he asked them.

“We did mate,” Sol said.

“It was a bit hard to miss the scars,” Ram said.

“Look, I know the risks,” Cole said, “but if I don’t do this, I won’t be able to take out Tobias. He was just as strong as he had always been, and I’ve been out of that game for a long time.”

“So how exactly do you plan on getting this done?” Ram asked, “the restrictions on this stuff has surely wiped out nearly everyone that did it back in the day.”

“Yeah I’ve been finding that out,” Cole said, “but there is one option left open.”

“What’s that?” Gregor asked.

“I know someone,” Cole said, his voice slow and deliberate, he wanted to make sure this was all worded just right, “or, I knew someone.”

“Where are they?” Sol asked.

Cole took a deep breath. 

“Ryger,” he said. He couldn’t keep this hidden any longer, he couldn’t risk Tobias getting away just to keep his past bottled away.

“Ryger,” Ram repeated, “you know someone on Ryger?”

“I was born there.”

“You were what?” Ram said in disbelief.

“Look it’s something I’ve never talked about. I told the academy I was born on Volaria–”

“Mate, you told us you were born on Volaria,” Sol said.

“Olivia didn’t even know,” Cole said.

Gregor leaned forward. “Why hide that all these years?” he said.

“It was a period of my life that I’m not proud of Gregor. I was doing whatever I could to forget it entirely. I had forgotten it.”

“Cole, we’re not angry,” Ram said, “just a little shocked.”

“I’m actually not shocked at all,” Sol said with a laugh, “suddenly an awful lot of things about you make a whole lot more sense than they used to.”

“Trust me when I say I’ve done everything I can to not have to go back there,” Cole said, “but this is the only way.”

“Well, if that’s where we need to go,” Sol said, heading for the cockpit, “then that’s where we need to go. I’ll set the course.”

Ram got up to leave but Cole remained unmoved from his position against the wall. “There’s more isn’t there?” Ram asked.

“There is,” Cole said.

“No need to go into it now, we’ve got a long trip ahead of us,” Ram said, “go get some sleep.”

After Ram had gone, only Cole and Gregor were left in the hold.

“Sir, uh, Cole, can I ask you something?” Gregor said.

“Shoot,” Cole said.

“I didn’t want to ask before, but, what’s on Ryger?”

“Hunters, Gregor,” Cole said.

“Oh.” Gregor had heard things as a child about Hunters, but he’d always though that they were stories created to scare children. Bands of men and monsters that would kill, pillage or sabotage anything for a payday. They were said to have mystical powers and that each of them were stronger than ten men. Gregor didn’t know if he was more scared as a child or as an adult that now knew they were real. Then it all clicked into place.

“You were a Hunter?” Gregor asked.

“It was a long time ago Gregor,” Cole said, “a lifetime.”

“I don’t know very much about Hunters, only things from stories,” Gregor said.

“You’d be surprised how much of that old stuff is true,” Cole said.

Gregor swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and continued.“Like I said, I don’t know much but I’ve always heard that they don’t like outsiders very much.”

Cole laughed. “You can say that again.”

“Will, we be an issue?” Gregor asked.

Cole pulled himself away from the wall and walked over to Gregor. “It should be fine. I can vouch for you,” Cole said.

“Oh, good.”

“That’s providing that they don’t blow my head off first of course.”

“Oh.”

“I’m kidding,” Cole said giving Gregor a light shove.

“Oh good.”

“No really, they might actually kill me.”

***

Cole sat alone in his quarters. They were five days into the trip to Ryger and were due to arrive the next day. He had spent a lot of time by himself, running through in his mind everything that had happened and everything that was about to happen. They were now hurtling through space towards a past that he had long since said goodbye to. There was no other option, he had to face the people who made him who he was. He had to face all that he had done. If he didn’t, there was no way he’d be able to get justice for Olivia and for Zara.

Cole had avoided making the marks for them ever since that fateful night. Time and again he had prepared himself and backed out, too afraid to make the cut. Part of him felt like if he did it, then it would be final and they would be truly gone. The other part though, realised that they were, in fact, truly gone, and that he couldn’t help them any longer. He had to honour them the same way he honoured all others that had passed from this world at his hand. 

No, not the same way. This has to be done properly. They deserve that.

He hadn’t done it the proper way since leaving the Hunters all those years ago. It was their ritual, their tradition and he’d carried on his own bastardised version of it for years, but for his family, he would do it. They were worthy.

Cole removed his shirt and picked up the hilt of his blade. He knelt in the middle of the floor, facing the deep black of space, and placed the hilt on the floor in front of him.

“Shakla es te Rel. Fir haar ne es Varidum,” Cole said to the darkness.

Taken from this Realm. Find peace in the Void.  

Cole reached down and gently picked up the blade with both hands. He extended it a short way, it’s thin metal blade unfurling, the pieces sliding over each other before locking into place and forming a short dagger.

“Vitari e ne mortena.” 

Live on in death.

As Cole said the words he took the blade and pressed it to his chest. 

Cole’s body was covered in the marks, the scars representing the lives he had taken, the lives lost that he was responsible for. On that night he had failed to protect his family, and they paid the ultimate price. The only place free from marks was an area over his heart. He had known that one day he would lose those closest to him, by means natural or otherwise, he had long saved this spot for them, hoping never to use it.

“Vitari e ne mortena, Olivia.”

Cole repeated the words as he made the first cut. For Olivia.

His body shook from the charge, but it only helped to tighten his grip and his resolve. He cut deeper than normal for this was a deeper hurt than normal. The blood trickled slowly down his chest.

“Vitari e ne mortena, Zara.” 

He took his time with the second cut. For Zara.

The shock ran up his neck and made the whole side of his face twitch uncontrollably, but he pushed through, he had to. He had failed the most when it came to Zara. He had missed so much of her life, always off on a mission, or just too busy. Then, on that night, the one time she needed him more than any other in her life, he failed her. He had failed his daughter again, and for the last time. This cut was the deepest. The blood flowed.

“Galtara es cerana. Yaashni ve memorta.” 

Gone from creation. Forever in our memory.

Cole placed the blade on the floor in front of him. He dipped his fingers in the blood dripping from the cuts and stroked it across his forehead. Then a short stroke on each closed eyelid.

“Yaashni ve memorta.” 

He sat, eyes closed, as the blood ran down his chest. After several minutes the flow stopped.

Cole opened his eyes.

“Vitari yaashni ne eterna.” 

Live forever in eternity.

It was done.

After a long silence Cole stood, the dried blood cracking from the movement, and his head swirled. He had gone deeper than he had in a long time, and he was woozy from the blood loss. As he lay down on his bed he looked and saw that his door was open slightly. His mind was wandering and he couldn’t remember if he’d left it open. Before he could even bring himself to think about closing it, the ever increasing dark swept over his mind and he fell asleep.

***

Cole woke to the sound of the vidcom beeping and slowly rolled out of bed. The door was closed now. He looked down at his chest and the blood had congealed and dried in the cuts. Before he answered the call he wiped the dried blood from his face and put on a shirt to cover the wounds. 

“Alright, alright,” Cole said to the machine whose beeping had only gotten louder.

Sitting down groggily in front of the display he accepted the call. Through the static Oren’s face appeared.

“You look like hell,” Oren said.

“Hello to you too,” Cole said, rubbing his eyes to force himself awake.

“I was just noticing you were in the Feldar sector, which given how far that is from Nikara, I assume you’ve picked up your gear already,” Oren said, “did you have any trouble?”

“Not much,” Cole said, shifting in his chair, “nothing we couldn’t handle.” Cole thought it best not to mention the run in with Weaver, or the fact that they’d picked up a passenger.

“Did you get any help with the reactivation?” Oren asked.

“No,” Cole said, “that’s why we’re out here. I know someone on Ryger that might be able to help, but it’s a long shot.” 

“On Ryger?” Oren asked.

Cole also didn’t feel the need to spread his past around any further than he already had, he’d already done that more than he was comfortable with.

“Just an old friend,” Cole said, “then hopefully it’ll just be a matter of finding Tobias and ending this.”

Oren looked offscreen to some displays at his side. “Well it just so happens you’re in luck,” he said.

“Oh?”

“We found him,” Oren said, “cameras picked him up in a bar on Ferris two days ago. There’s no indications he’s left the planet since.”

Cole furrowed his brow in thought and frowned. “Even if my contact can help, I’m looking at a minimum of a couple of recovery days,” Cole said, “I’m going to need you to keep an eye on him for me.”

Cole’s door slid open, it was Ram. “We need you up front Cole,” he said.

Cole looked back to the call. “Oren, I have to go, duty calls,” he said, “keep me posted.”

Oren nodded. “Will do,” he said, “if he moves, you’ll be the first to know.”

Cole switched off the call and headed to the door. “What’s up?” he asked.

“That Oren?” Ram asked, motioning to the vidcom.

“Yeah, he’s found Tobias,” Cole said as they walked down the corridor to the main hold.

“Where?”

“Been on Ferris a few days.”

“That’s not far from here,” Ram said.

“I know,” Cole said, “he’ll probably be gone again by the time we’re ready though anyway. Oren’s on it.”

“Oh good,” Ram said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“What did you need me for?” Cole asked. He didn’t want to get into it over Ram and Oren’s little feud, he’d been hearing it for years and right now he wasn’t in the mood.

“We’re just coming up on Ryger,” Ram said, “and Sol was picking up a signal from some kind of waypoint station, seemed to be looking to identify ships in the area.”

“A waypoint?” Cole said, “that’s new.”

As they came out into the main hold Cole saw Kira sitting off to the side with Gregor. She was looking more settled in than last he saw her. She had washed her hair, and Gregor had given her some of his fatigues to wear. Clothing choices aboard an in transit starship were rather limited as it turns out. 

“You okay?” Cole asked her from across the room.

Kira didn’t reply. She just looked at him for a few moments, concern readily visible in her eyes, before she returned to her conversation with Gregor. Cole didn’t have time to contemplate the meaning behind her stare as a voice called out from the cockpit doorway.

“Cole,” Sol said, “I think we might need you for this one.”

As he came into the cockpit Cole could hear he chatter coming through the comms, it sounded impatient. Ram, Sol and Gregor filed in behind him while Kira stood in the doorway and watched.

“Unidentified starship, I say again, halt your progress,” the voice said, “state your name and purpose for entering Ryger.”

“Why haven’t you said anything?” Cole asked Sol.

“Thought it might be best coming from you mate,” Sol said, “they know you, less likely to shoot.”

“You’d be surprised,” Cole said as he sat in the pilot’s chair. He leaned into the comms.

“This is Cole Traske, aboard the civilian vessel Havok, visiting a friend.”

“One moment,” the voice said after a short pause.

The pause that followed was longer. Eventually the voice crackled through once again. “Other occupants on board?” it asked.

“Four others,” Cole said, “traveling companions.”

“Traveling companions?” Ram asked.

Cole switched off the microphone for a moment. “What was I supposed to say? My heavily armed trained killers are here with me?”

“I see your point,” Ram said.

It seems like minutes had passed without so much as a word out of the waypoint. The silence in the cockpit was deafening.

“They’re not going for it,” Sol said.

Cole held up a hand. “Just wait,” he said, “they know me. I’m in their records.”

“Which records?” Gregor asked.

The comms crackled to life, snuffing out any chance of Gregor getting an answer. “Civilian ship Havok, you are cleared to proceed,” the voice said, “we’ve sent a packet to your ships computer, please follow the beacon to find your landing site, a party will be there to greet you when you arrive. Welcome to Ryger.”

Cole felt a flutter in the pit of his stomach. Something was off.

“Well they seem friendly enough,” Sol said.

“Yeah,” Cole said. 

That’s what’s got me worried.