Time and location (present day): 7:00am, ENDURE Center for Rehabilitation

I found myself submerged in an ocean of pallid white, same as always. The terrain was a familiar locale at this point, and so I knew what to look for. As I slowly spun in a circle, the door finally appeared where I was certain it had not been only moments prior. I stepped towards it and found myself being pulled, bare toes scraping the indistinguishable floor beneath my feet. Whatever intangible force had dragged me released its vice mere inches from the standalone gateway. Gathering my composure I stepped through, once more into the fray. Again, off in the distance I could make out my parents, though this time they stood alone, no third silhouette beside them. Before I could move the invisible hand lassoed me once more, roping me in to stand before my mother and father in the blink of an eye. My mother reached out, gently placing the back of her hand against my cheek. Her touch felt warm, nurturing. I reached up to hold her hand in mine, but the moment we made contact she liquified before my eyes, raining down in drops to pool upon the ground. As I stared at the puddle below my feet it began to change. Color now began to sprawl seemingly out of nowhere until the fluid in its entirety became a deep burgundy hue, resembling blood. Father had tear stains upon his cheeks. There was a pressure on either side of my face holding me perfectly still, forcing me to watch as the man shook his head in despair, then turned and walked away.

I was out of bed and scrambling towards the trash can beside my desk in an instant, sleep paralysis suddenly truant from this old song and dance. Grabbing the receptacle, I plunged my head into its opening just in time for the vomit to come rushing out. As I heaved, I swore I felt my sternum crack, and yet I was thankful. Thankful that this time I was spared my customary visit from Mallen. The ordeal seemed to last an eternity but when it finally ended, I pushed the now full bin away from me and slouched against the wall. My hand came away wet after placing it to my forehead; I was burning up. Something was wrong with me, seriously wrong. I needed help, needed to get up, but I couldn’t find the strength. Every muscle in my body ached, every fiber of my being felt like it was on fire. Just as I began contemplating possible solutions a knock on the door rang out, a literal gift from the gods themselves. Shortly after my lack of reply, the door opened, and Lena entered. I watched as she noticed me crumpled on the floor, her casual demeanor quickly morphing into shocked concern as she scurried to my aid.

“My God, Royce! Are you okay?”

Lena grabbed me by my shoulders, tried to straighten out my posture.

“Here, sit up… come on, help me out a little Royce,”

I winced as I fought back another bout of vomit, pushing my back against the wall if only to give the appearance that I wasn’t completely falling apart, but Lena remained unconvinced.

“I had no idea things were getting this bad Royce. Jonathan told me you hadn’t left your quarters in the past two days, so I came to check on you. I never imagined that… we need to get you medical attention, have your overall health assessed, maybe run some bloodwork. Let’s try to get you up,”

She grabbed my hand and tried to lift me from the floor, but I pulled away with a viciousness so unforgiving, I surprised myself and left her looking wounded.

“No! No… I don’t trust him Lena, I don’t…”

It was getting harder to speak. Every inhale of breath felt physically straining, a drain on my well of energy that had already run dry. Did she say two days? No, that can’t be right. I’ve only been sleeping for a few hours… right?

“Royce don’t be ridiculous. Differences aside, my uncle is a doctor, and you need medical attention. Please, let me help you.”

I shook my head in defiance, a feeble and slow movement.

“I trust you; you can help me. Not him. Please, don’t tell him.”

The fear in my own voice surprised me even more than my previous aggressive withdrawal from Lena. Is that what this is? Fear? Do I fear Atticus Cais? Lena sighed in anger, yet somehow sounded defeated.

“Fine. I won’t involve my uncle, but you need help. Here, take two of these.”

Lena reached into the pocket of her scrubs, and when she removed her hand there was a dram filled with pills clutched in her grasp. She opened it, removed two electric blue capsules from within and thrust them towards me. I took them hesitantly, held them in front of my face as I inspected them.

“What… what are they?”

Lena’s eyes darted sideways, then quickly back to me as she smiled half-heartedly. It was a subtle shift in behavior, but a tell all the same; she was formulating a lie.

“They’re just some NSAIDs, they’ll help with the fever and the pain.”

I raised an eyebrow, growing more suspicious of her by the minute.

“Who said I have a fever?”

“I’m a nurse, Royce. I can tell by your symptoms, let alone how much you’re sweating in a temperature-controlled environment that stays at seventy-five degrees consistently. What’s with all the questioning? Didn’t you just say you trusted me?”

You’re losing it Royce… letting Desmond Luther and Aiden Buckley fill your head with conspiracies…

“Of course, you’re right, I’m sorry. My head just doesn’t… it doesn’t feel right.”

I threw the pills to the back of my throat and swallowed them. If they were poison, then at least I’d die in her company. It’s not like I have a whole lot to live for anyways… Oh don’t be like that Royce, I thought we were just beginning to be friends? Am I not worth living for? I heard him; heard Mallen as if he were right there in the room. I looked up from the floor to meet Lena’s eyes and found myself scrambling away from here like a wild animal who had just been freed from a trap.

“No! You’re not real! Get out! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!”

Lena recoiled from me, but the fear had gripped me so firmly that I didn’t care. I didn’t care if she thought I was crazy, because for the first time outside of an episode of sleep paralysis, I saw him. Mallen stood behind her, a hulking shadow with two beady, red dots for eyes. Something was different this go-around, though. He looked less like shadow; more three-dimensional and filled out. I could now tell that those menacing, diminutive eyes were set deeply in what appeared to be sable black flesh draped over a skeletal structure that was almost passible as human. Though the longer I stared in disbelief, the more peculiarities I could pinpoint that made it obvious this was nothing of the human variety. He was tall, thick-bodied, but his arms and legs were gangly, every joint bulging unnaturally as if bone cancer had taken up root within. Its blackened hands dangled loosely at its side, six elongated fingers on either of them. Mallen cocked his head at me; it looked as though his neck were broken. You wound me, Royce; why are you so frightened of me when all I wish to do is show you the truth? I’ll leave you with Lena for now, you have plenty of damage control to do… but this conversation is far from over… and then he was gone. As quickly as he had emerged from the recesses of my broken psyche, Mallen simply vanished.

“…Royce? Are you… are you okay? Was it him?”

Lena hadn’t spoken a word until just now, had stayed silent and observant through the whole interaction with Mallen, just as she had likely been trained to do.

“You didn’t… see…? He was right there, behind you. You didn’t hear him?”

She approached me now, however cautiously, as if I were a danger to her. I would never hurt her…

“Royce… It’s just you and me here, no one else. Mallen isn’t real, you know that, right?”

She placed a hand gently on my shoulder and her touch grounded me almost immediately. I nodded slowly, began to control my breathing.

“Yes… I know that… of course I know that. Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s time we get Dr. Cais involved.”

What are you saying? Are you even listening to yourself right now? Atticus Cais CANNOT be trusted! The thoughts were becoming more intrusive now, deafening. I just wanted them to stop, whether my own or Mallen’s.

“If I leave to go get my uncle, will you be okay alone for a bit?”

I wasn’t sure, but my aim was to cause her no more concern than I already had.

“I think so, the episode seems to be passing now.”

A bold-faced lie: I still felt like absolute shit. She squeezed my shoulder reassuringly.

“Okay,” she said gently.

“Just sit tight, we’ll be back soon, I promise.”

She hesitated before half smiling, then stood and left my room. I closed my eyes, concentrating on the inside of my eyelids, trying not to let my focus wander anywhere that Mallen could be lurking. This was a task that was becoming increasingly difficult with every passing day. I had seen him. No in a nightmare. Not amid sleep paralysis, but in broad daylight. Maybe I was a lunatic, destined to spend the rest of my days within the confines of ENDURE’s walls. As I sat like that for a while contemplating my bleak fate, I thought I’d finally have a moment of peace, but no such luck would find me today. I heard the door latch engage, presumably Lena arriving with Dr. Cais much sooner than I expected, but when I opened my eyes to see who had entered my room, it was Jonathan standing before me. He shut the door behind him with a quietness that seemed all too foreboding. Somehow, someway, I found the strength to pick myself up off the floor, all be it at a snail’s-pace.

“Jonathan? What are you doing here?”

He smiled before responding.

“I hadn’t heard from you in a couple days, I was beginning to worry so I figured I’d check in on you.”

Makes enough sense, nothing out of the ordinary about that, I thought. Though the need to reassure myself and Jonathan’s lackluster performance immediately triggered a follow-up sense of suspicion.

“Look Royce, I’m truly sorry about all of this. I need you to know that… but things have progressed too far. I can’t allow you to let them through. They’ll destroy everything, I just can’t.”

Let them through? What the actual fu- My thoughts were halted as Jonathan instantaneously closed the gap between us, and then something felt physically wrong. My body felt hot and cold all at once, and I could feel fluid running down my pant leg from my stomach where a dull ache had begun to form. I placed my hand to my abdomen where the pain was growing in intensity, and when I brought it away to inspect further, it was wet with blood. Jonathan had just stabbed me.

Next Chapter: Chapter 4: Conduit