Diary of a Goat Robbery - From the Goat’s Perspective

January 31st

Diary,

Today I planned my strike on the bank that is on 6th street.

STEP ONE:

I will put rubber gloves on my front and back hooves and I shall crawl through the vents and drop down from the vent in the hall in front of the biggest safe in the world!

STEP TWO:

From within my satchel, I shall withdraw a pound of slime! I then will divide it into seven equal pieces and throw it at the security cameras.

STEP THREE:

Next, I will withdraw a pack of cheese and an empty tin can, snack break! I will eat them as fast as possible though….

STEP FOUR:

Next, I shall pull out my code-cracker gadget and place it on the code entry area, and voila! My code-cracker will spin the numbers till it unlocks the safe.

STEP FIVE:

Finally, I shall open the safe and if everything goes well I shall return home with the money!

The Plan will begin tomorrow evening…

With love,

                             Gabby the Goat

February 1st,

Diary,

I was ready, my bag was packed and even though it was a little heavy I dodged and rolled around to stay out of the sight of others. As I turned left and started upon 6th street I gaped at the sight of 6th Street Bank. I had never realized how large and majestic it was.

I pulled the rope out of my bag and attached it to a grappling hook, flung it to the ceiling of the humongous building, and began to climb up it. But my heavy satchel kept dragging me down. Finally, 20 minutes later I was up. I pulled out my screwdriver and began to unscrew the vent  ¨ scree scree scree scree scree.¨  I was actually glad about something, I was glad when it finally stopped making the horrible noise!

I commenced step one. I pulled on my rubber gloves and I dropped down into the vent. My hooves landed on the metal and made no sound except for a tiny thump. I crawled around and around so many bends it was too many to count. I finally found the vent that I wanted. I opened it up with my screwdriver ¨scree scree,¨ I dropped down onto the floor and my rubber hooves made no sound.

I commenced Step 2. I pulled a pound of slime from my satchel and divided it into 7 equal parts, then I threw it all at 7 security cameras.

Next Step 3. I withdrew from my satchel a hunk of cheese and a tin can! Snack break.  

Step 4, I pulled out my code-cracker gadget and placed it in the code entry area. As my code-cracker spun I heard footsteps coming, clanking metal boots coming down the hall. I tapped my hoof on the code cracker twice and all of a sudden it was done. The safe opened and I reached my hoof in... As my one hoof was inside the safe grabbing stacks of money, my other hoof reached into my sack to pull out a bottomless bag.

I began to shovel all the gold I could into the bottomless bag. As the clinking metal boots sound came closer and closer and closer I shoveled faster and faster and faster. After I shoveled about 130 pounds of gold into the bag I swung it over my back and began to climb the rope to the vent.

As I climbed through the vents I heard people talking. One man said ¨he went up the rope to the vents, follow him!¨

Then I realized I had left the rope dangling, curse me! No no no no no no no no no I thought in my head and then I remembered they couldn’t fit, hahaha.

I am triumphant, for once I have achieved something that I’ve always wanted! I broke into 6th Street Bank. I feel proud of myself. I feel like this was meant to be.

Once I got home I showed the gold to my mother and father. They took it all for themselves and I saw them walking to the farmer with it. They dropped it in front of him and then the farmer said ¨Oh yes, my farm is saved. Thank you little goats.¨  

My robbery was a success and it was even for a good cause. I am glad I did it but I feel bad for the guards, they are probably in big big trouble.

Oops, I just remembered, I took the rubber coatings off my hooves and stepped in a  pile of spilled smoothie, I left hoof prints!

With love,

Gabby the goat