Niki Payne
The Introduction
Once upon a time, in a land far away where computers, cell phones and the Internet did not exist, people lived life at a much slower pace than they do today. Even our relationships progressed at a slower pace than they do today. But somewhere down the line, people started pressing the fast forward button on relationships as if they were DVD rentals, skipping right past the trailers and straight to the spoilers. In fact, don’t be surprised when foreplay has become a dying art in the not-so-distant future.
More and more singles today are finding themselves living in a culture that seems to have completely renounced traditional courtship in exchange for a more hybrid model― one that has drastically accelerated the natural progression of dating as we once knew it.
There used to be a time when people got to know each other first before hopping into a relationship, getting married and bumping uglies. Back then, sex was seen as this great symbolic act that really consummated a relationship. But in today’s world, people do everything completely backwards, starting at the end and working their way to the beginning. Before you know it, they’re already signing divorce papers ― all because they decided to seal the deal long before a deal was ever made in the first place.
The most problematic aspect of this “new age” of dating is that many single men and women engage in sexual activities long before they decide to be in a committed relationship. The problem with this backward model of courtship is that people are putting themselves at a higher risk to get pregnant or to contract a sexually transmitted infection without any guarantees of exclusivity.What’s even more frustrating about this model is that sex doesn’t always guarantee a relationship like it once did when a woman got pregnant out of wedlock and married the first man that came along because she didn’t want to bare the proverbial scarlet letter of shame.
The only way to consummate or guarantee a relationship these days is by having “The Talk” which many can testify isn’t always easy, especially if you have a good thing going, and you don’t want to ruin it. After all, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right? That saying had to have come from somewhere, and it came from people who don’t like having “The Talk.”
With so many different ways to communicate with people, it's getting easier and easier to put off important conversations. Do you call, text, Facebook, Tweet, Skype, FaceTime or Snapchat? You may think the answer is obvious, but is it really? It's getting hard to decide sometimes.
“Now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies.” (Never Been Kissed)
As a result, these advancements in communication technologies have had such an adverse impact on the quality of our relationships that our current dating paradigms are undergoing a revolutionary transformation. The traditional model of dating we once knew has become more of a hybrid model, one that is often at odds with the foundation needed for a healthy, happy relationship with the opposite sex.
Welcome to a new age of backwards dating, Loveballers ― an age where love and romance are diluted by lustful desires for instant pleasures without consequence. That’s why it’s so important, now more than ever, for singles to empower themselves with the proper knowledge, insight and the perspective they need to make better, more informed decisions in all matters pertaining to love, romance and seduction.
In light of these recent shifts in current dating paradigms, an alternative approach to dating has evolved ― one that encourages self-exploration and personal discovery through our physical, emotional and even spiritual interactions with others in the dating pool. By learning to recognize the most fundamental aspects of dating, we will have a better understanding of who we are and how we relate to the people and world around us.