Only One
Looking in through the windows of the gallery, I could see her there imprisoned in the frame against the wall, staring out into the world. With all the lights dimmed the glow behind her seemed to shine brighter, but I knew from seeing it last night, the background was simply painted nothing more. While most people say they can see the eyes of those inside portraits follow them, her stare remained fixed on the world outside. I could almost feel her praying to be released from the prison holding her.
I watched her until I reached for the door. I half expected it to be locked, but to my surprise it opened freely. Stepping inside, I noticed it didn’t seem to be as poorly lit as the scene from outside suggested. When the door shut behind me it stirred the silence in the room causing the woman from last night to look up from the paperwork on the desk. She greeted me with an odd smile, I knew right then she remembered me and did not seem at all thrilled with my return. “Mr. Apollyon isn’t in.”
My heart dropped into my stomach, “Do you know when he will be?”
“Around six. Would you like to leave a message for him?”
I sighed, “No, thank you.”
“I will tell him you stopped by.”
There I sat, four years old, in the middle of the bedroom playing peacefully with some dolls, seemed like some kind of tea party. I looked down at the writing on the bottom of the Polaroid photo, ‘No Flash’. The next picture was labeled with the same date, but is said, ‘Flash’. I glanced at the pure white photo, trying to gather what it meant. I flipped back to the last picture looking at the light fixture on the ceiling of the room and noticed it wasn’t on. Those were the only two photos of me in the folder.
I held my breath as I went to the next page afraid of what I would see. Several newspapers clipping showing a huge sinkhole right in the middle of a suburban neighborhood. Most of the headlines on the pages stated an entire house disappeared inside of the hole taking with it everything, but the family.
‘The Turner’s were extremely lucky they were not home at the time.’ I scanned through the articles. My home disappearing into a huge hole would ultimately explain why there were no other photos of me. Everything we owned vanished at the same time as the untimely accident killing my parents. I looked over my parent’s death certificates as well as some more newspaper clippings noting the car accident with my miraculous survival. I groaned when I noticed that the rest of the folder contained only childhood drawings. It didn’t give me any answers as to what has been happening to me. As I closed the folder my forehead landed on it with a light thud.
As I flipped the pages over I saw another folder labeled ‘Medical Records’ with a big red stamp stating it is only a copy. I turned them over not wanting to sort through any of them, yet. I couldn’t imagine anything inside of it would pertain to anything going on with me.
“Tough reading?” A voice chimed, but low enough that it didn’t echo in the vacant library.
I kept my head on the folder as I answered. “Tough reading for someone who doesn’t care to even read it.”
“And the Greek Mythology? Is that a preferred text?” He continued.
Now a little more concerned, I glanced up to see Lucifer standing in front of the counter wearing just a plain white long sleeve shirt and jeans, instead of the suit he wore last night. I found myself staring into his beautiful golden eyes with only a few locks of his black hair falling down over his face. “Holy crap!”
A huge smile stretched across his face, "I’ve seen a lot of things in my life, but holy feces are something I have yet to find. I must say though, this is not the greeting I expected."
Now too embarrassed to show my face I covered it with my hands. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think you were actually here.”
“Does that mean you have been dreaming about me?" With Lucifer’s question, I peered through my fingers to find him flipping through the pages of the mythology book stopping at my bookmark.
"No, but you would be definitely better than what I have been seeing in my dreams lately," I confessed bringing my hands down pulling the folder closer to me hoping he wouldn’t look at it as well.
After scanning the page that I marked Lucifer sat the book down and leaned in over the counter bringing his eyes directly to mine. "Well, I will have to change that."
Completely lost in the golden wonder I didn’t know how to respond to his statement. They turned up slightly when he smiled in response to my silence. His eyes were so pleasant, but I began wondering about the crimson eyes I first saw him with. Could it have been my imagination?
"Of all the careers in this town, I did not picture you as the librarian type. Your silence does change my opinion a bit." He pulled himself away allowing me to realize I needed to breathe. "A librarian, who lives with a man who is not her boyfriend, reads about Apollo and likes portraits of a woman who went through Hell. I almost forgot, she wishes she could dream of me over her own nightmares. You are by far the most interesting librarian I have ever met.”
“Um, thank you, I think.”
“You are most certainly welcome.” I watched as he gave me the most perfect wondrous smile. “Now it is nine o’clock, how about some dinner?”
I closed my eyes wishing I could leave and go to dinner with him. “I can’t leave. As you can see, I’m working.”
“Yes, I can see, but I brought food.” He slid a clear bowl across the counter. It was filled with some kind of food, I assumed, “It isn’t much, but I figured you haven’t had fresh fruit for quite some time.”
“What would make you think something like that?” I questioned thinking about the microwave menu sitting in the freezer at the apartment. It wasn’t until he mentioned it I realized my diet indeed did suck.
"I can see it in your skin." He ran his finger over my hand sending chills up my arm and right down my spine. "Fruit will rejuvenate it."
I tried to smile, but right now I wanted to slap myself for questioning him. Without looking up I placed a plaque on the counter stating someone would be right back. I beckoned him to follow me back to the room we were allowed to eat in.
As we began walking together, he fell behind while following me, just like last night at the gallery. He walked a step behind me but close enough to almost touch me. When he noticed me looking back, he interrupted the silence of the library again. "Are you studying Greek mythology or reading it for your own pleasure?"
“Oh, I’m not a student here.” I pushed the door open to a tiny room where I could eat away from all the books. “I wasn’t reading it for pleasure either. I am just trying to figure something out.”
“And that would be?” He smiled putting the clear bowl full of fruit on the table and pulling out one of the chairs for me.
I took the seat he offered then I tried to change the subject, “Are you always this gentleman like?”
Sitting down adjacent from me he clasped his hands together and leaned over causing the cheap foldable table to shift slightly. “Not always, but I am trying very hard to be for you. Since you ignored my question I’ll take it, whatever you are trying to figure out is personal?”
"It is." I turned to find a fork in the cabinet behind me removing my eyes from him as I answered hoping he wouldn’t pry any further into it. "So why are you trying to be a gentleman just for me?"
“Because I think you deserve a gentleman and everything he can give you.” As I turned back towards him, Lucifer carefully ran his fingers through his hair allowing me a chance to see his eyes become brighter in the light.
Stabbing the first piece of apple lying on top of the pile of fruit with the fork, I looked up to find a huge smile stretched over his face. For the first time, I could see his perfect teeth which were whiter than his skin. I couldn’t believe how perfect he seemed to be, not only with his looks, but he was trying to be a perfect gentleman as well.
Turning the fork around I removed my eyes from Lucifer’s perfection to stare at the apple I stabbed. He said he was trying to be this way for me, but the thoughts ran rampant through my mind and before I could stop myself, I had to ask, “Who are you really then?”
I wanted the truth, not something he would say just to make me happy. I began bracing myself in the silence of the room afraid of what he would tell me. So many times before I found myself stuck in a similar situation, but this one differed. No other man in this world pulled me in so directly. I could pass through dinner dates without an ounce of feeling, but I could feel my nerves getting the best of me. Deep down, I wanted this man to be the one who could make a connection, and if he lied it would ruin everything I felt towards him.
“Bree,” With his voice coming through the silence I jumped losing the fork. “Forgive me. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“It’s alright.” I picked up the fork from the bowl and finally allowed myself to look back up at him.
A sense of gloom wore through his eyes as he began speaking. "Humans were graced with a touch allowing them to choose who they will be in this world, just as I was. But there was a time long ago when I lived with such a vengeance, I abandoned everything I believed in. Some would say I became the evil this world fears the most. I declared war on the entirety of the world when I lost her.
The earth continued to spin, sending the years to spiral out of control, and I lived in the sole isolation of the night. After losing myself to the darkness inside my soul, she came back into my life. After a short time together, she made me see what I truly became, but it wasn’t soon enough. I broke her cruelly. Now I vow to be the man she deserves and nothing less than a god will do.
I have painted her face every day since she died so I will not forget her beauty again. I still have not been able to capture the magnificence she holds though. Her brown hair falling down around her face, framing it exquisitely with drops of jades inside of her eyes. Still, it doesn’t compare to the beautiful light shining off her luscious skin. It is there in her eyes I find Heaven. It is for her I will bring heaven to Earth so she doesn’t have to feel pain any longer.”
By the time Lucifer stopped speaking his eyes lost their misery and gained hope as he stared at me intently. Completely lost in the description of his love for her, while at the same moment, I felt almost jealous of her. If he loved her so much, how could he hurt her as he captured so well inside that portrait? He took everything away from her turning all her love into absolute revulsion. Even if he claims to be nothing less than a god for her the evil he became still lurked within him. Love is cruel especially between them it seemed. If not love, life was. “How was she taken from you?”
He sighed as he picked up the fork out of the bowl. "By her will, she gave her life so I could live a better life, a life she would approve of. But as she died, I watched as the forces holding this world together, fought for what she held inside of her. Since her death I rose up over all the evil inside of myself vowing only to be what she needs. I am here now of my own choice, and I will no longer be the foul creature who took her life.”
After staring at the apple while he spoke, he finally took a bite as if he devoured love itself. “If she died she can’t come back.”
“You can devour the sweetness of each apple given to you, but unless you plant the seed you will never have one belonging only to you.” After seeing the odd look on my face he explained, “I have loved many, many women in the course of my life, but I placed a piece of my soul into her, forever making her mine.”
“Yes, but she still can’t come back to life.” My thoughts flashed back to my own parent’s death.
He picked up a strawberry with his fingers, reaching forward he offered it to me. “I know death better than most, and he couldn’t hold her forever. If death did try to keep her, he would have a battle far great than he could handle.”
I almost crossed him off as loony right then and there, but with the convictions of his words, something told me he believed every word of it. I could almost see him fighting his way through Heaven or Hell just to find her. He vowed to bring her back against everything. I admired his love for her. "Why do you love her so much?"
“She promised her life and love until forever is over, whether she knows it or not now. Her soul will know who she truly is. Sacrificing her life twice for me without question is more than any other would do and all I have to offer is my love.” Lucifer lifted a piece of apple to my lips, “Now that I say all of this out loud, she deserves more than I have to give.”
“Didn’t you just vow to bring heaven down to Earth for her?”
“A world of no pain, suffering, or sickness and filled with only love, happiness and a light that never ceases.” He raised his hand to his lips and closed his eyes as he envisioned it, “Walking down the cobblestone street hand in hand, with my sons beside me.”
“Your sons?” I gasped. As I listened to his story and gazed into his eyes, I could almost envision him living forever, but in truth he looked no older than myself. “You didn’t say you had children.”
Lucifer paused deep in thought. Fearing I went too far I opened my mouth to apologize when he finally spoke. “When the day of judgement comes to pass I shall see them all again.”
His story got bigger and more unbelievable with each word, but it quickly became the best one I heard for a long time. It reminded me of old fairy tales and the undying love of the characters. The one thing I did not doubt, he loved this woman more than the world would obviously allow. Unlike the fairy tales I grew accustomed to, this one made me think of Romeo and Juliet with a tragic end. He wholeheartedly believed he would find her again. I feared with everything inside of me, he never would. The sadness loomed throughout his eyes when he first started telling his story now transferred to me.
Lucifer rolled his head between his shoulders, “It is getting late. May I have the honor of walking you home?”
I peered out of the glass door to the clock on the wall. It read half past ten. I lost complete track of the time sitting here listening to his story. “Would you give me a moment to shut down everything?”
“Am I permitted to walk you home then?” Turning in his seat Lucifer flashed a huge grin.
I held myself up in the doorway as I leaned back into the room, "To my apartment."
“Of course,” The light flickered in his eyes, “Like I said, an absolute gentleman.”
“Okay then.”
The chill in the air cut through my light shirt reminding me of the change of the season. I wrapped my arms tight around my waist trying to keep the heat within my body, but it didn’t work as well as I hoped. Lucifer continued walking beside me as if the cold air didn’t touch him. “Are you used to the cold?”
“No. But am I to understand it snows here in the winter?” He removed his eyes from the sky above and let them fall down on me. “Wow, you are really cold aren’t you?”
"I’ll be fine. It isn’t too much further." I spoke trying not to chatter my teeth too badly showing him I could handle it. I did make a mental note to myself to make sure to bring a jacket tomorrow night. "It does snow here, each and every winter without mercy.”
Lucifer quickly came to my side as he wrapped his arm around my waist. As he pulled me in closer I placed my hands on his side to keep some space between us as we walked together. It didn’t feel right being this close to him. The only man to get this close to me was Dave, but he had a different build. Dave was more muscular, and thicker. Lucifer was slim, but still well-built. With my hands against his body, I felt the curves of his chest move with his breathing. The warmth of his body filled me and before I knew it my head fell against his chest with my arms wrapped around his waist. It most definitely didn’t feel right, but it didn’t feel wrong either. "You aren’t shivering now."
“Thank you.” My hand followed the curvature of his body, “You are nice and warm.”
“May I ask you a question?” I felt his voice rise up from inside of him, which allowed me to feel the rhythm of his voice instead of hearing it.
“Anything,” I agreed, hoping it would keep him talking.
Lucifer tightened the muscle in his arm bringing me in closer to him. “Why a librarian?”
“Oh,” His question caught me off guard. “My mother was a librarian so I volunteered at the local library while in high school hoping it would help me get closer to her, but it didn’t work. After we graduated Dave got a scholarship here. It just made sense to work in the library since that was the only thing I knew how to do.”
“Why aren’t you a student?” I could feel his eyes on me, but I refused to look up keeping my head placed perfectly on his chest.
“I don’t have the money, but working as a librarian isn’t too bad. If I really wanted I could read all those books and learn just as much. The hours and pay aren’t too bad either, so I don’t complain.” I pushed my ear into his chest waiting for his reply.
“What would you rather do? If you could do anything you wanted, what would you chose?” I closed my eyes and let him guide me as I ran the musical voice through my mind again.
It didn’t take long to realize in order for me to hear his voice resonating from within I had to answer, but I didn’t have one. “I don’t know. I never thought about my future like that.”
“To understand your future you have to understand where you truly come from. Your past is clouded, isn’t it?” I couldn’t stop my eyes from wandering to his now. “You will never find your meaning in this life unless you discover where you came from.”
“That is easy to say, and a lot harder to do," I admitted bringing my eyes back down to the street realizing we were getting closer to the apartment. "We are almost there. Do you want me to have Dave give you a ride to wherever you are staying?"
“I am enjoying this night under the stars.” Lucifer paused as I stopped him right in front of the battered wooden door leading to my apartment. “Plus if I walk then I will have time to think.”
“Time to think about what?”
Reluctantly I let go of Lucifer as he pulled away from me. With his hand, he lifted my chin until my eyes met his. The street light shined down on him giving him a menacing orange glow, and with his smile worn away I backed further away. The illumination around him did not seem normal and I could feel the need to flee once more. "About you. What are you doing tomorrow at noon?"
“Nothing.”
“May I take you for lunch?”
I nodded as the frigid air became increasingly tough to fight against without him near me. Lucifer leaned over placing his lips against the skin on my forehead. “I hope you have better, sweeter dreams tonight. Now go inside before you start shivering again.”
"Goodnight," I said as I found the door handle allowing myself into the doorway backward unwilling to turn from his eyes. “Tomorrow then?”
A smile graced his lips finally, “Tomorrow at noon.”
Even with the cold air biting into my bare flesh, I refused to turn and go up the stairs until I saw Lucifer disappear into the night. Turning around I looked up the wooden stairs and with each of the twenty steps, I had a thousand more thoughts running through my mind about the strange dinner I occupied tonight. Lucifer was far more eccentric than anyone I ever met before, but he was an artist. Maybe his imagination draws him further into the unknown than the rest of us normal people.
Opening the door to the apartment I expected to find Dave sitting on the couch playing his video games, but the room was completely empty. I looked at the stand beside the door and found a note with Dave’s chicken scratch: ‘Hey, I was waiting for you to get home, but it was getting late and I didn’t feel good. I’ll see you tomorrow sometime, maybe. I met that dude from the art thingy again. He didn’t seem so weird today.’
I smiled at Dave’s simplicity. Of course, he ran into Lucifer today, how else, would Lucifer knew where I worked. I picked up the pen beside the note, jotting my own little message for him: ‘Night Dave’.
At least he would have known I read it if I didn’t see him tomorrow morning. I put the pen back down and watched as it rolled off the stand. I refused to bend over and pick it up, instead, I glared at it. Finally, after a moment I headed towards my room. Inside I found her waiting for me. I dropped my bag on the floor and sat down in front of her.
I asked her the question I wanted to know all night, but forgot to ask, "What did he do to you? And how did you have the strength afterward to save him?"
Even if I didn’t completely believe his story I knew he loved her more than the world itself. The story he told me couldn’t be as he said, but I’m sure somehow he broke her heart just on the brink of repair. Her love never fell so much as to let him die though.