CHAPTER 9

"Quit hanging around outside and come in." They heard Markus called from inside. The two stared at each other. They had stood a while; just outside Markus’s sickbay, contemplating on how to broach the subject to him.

*Was he referring to us?* Hanna sent to Josiah. Eyes wide, mystified. *I didn’t think that he could see us. Maybe he’s calling for the next patient?*

Josiah shook his head. *There is a waiting area inside.*

*Then how would he know if it was us?*

The door opened. "I heard you coming in the corridor." Markus stood in front of them.

Hanna looked down to the new rubber shoes she had just acquired. "Was I that loud?"

"Hanna, do you know that the staff here complains that you give them a fright every now and then? You walk so silently they wonder if you just materialize right behind their backs."

"So I need to walk louder."

"I did not say that."

"You implied that."

"Just come in." Markus muttered.

They both followed him in. Surveying the room a while, Hanna chose the room’s sofa and sat gingerly, she then scooted herself in, flipped off her shoes and sat cross-legged. Josiah eyeing her antics just leaned against the sofa side.

"I heard you when the both of you entered the corridor. Rather, I felt your presence the moment you stepped into the building. Just flickers of sights and sounds around you. Disconcerting feeling, if I may say."

Josiah frowned and lightly scanned his friend’s mind for any lingering trauma from the previous day’s episode.

Markus looked sharply at Josiah. "Are you reading my mind? I feel something-"

He ignored Markus’s remark but continued his scan. After a while, he looked up. "I touched your mind to see if your high handling of it last night had caused any hidden damages. Though you shouldn’t have felt it." He mused.

"Well, I can tell you that it didn’t. And I’d rather you had the courtesy to consult with me first before reading my mind." Markus chilled him vehemently.

Josiah stared back at his friend. "I did not read your mind. Rather I touched your mind to have a feel of it, for any wrongness. By doing that, I do not know what’s in your mind or what you’re even thinking of at that very moment." He shuffled a little. "I’m sorry if it caused you distress and distrust. I will try to inform you first before I do of such again, if needed be."

Hanna was disquieted when she commented. "His mind is fine, Josiah. But the temporary link built before this bore the brunt of his near burnt out. It was never meant to withhold such force. I didn’t know you would allow a temporary-"

The room was quiet when her words tailed off. She gave a hard look at Josiah. "Now is not the time to play dumb with that point of fact."

"How- How long did you know..." Markus whispered, chagrined.

Josiah was silent for a couple of moments. "Ever since it was placed there."

Markus turned away, unable to look Josiah in the eye. "Could you please place an aural shield around this room?"

Neither of them noticed when Josiah built an impenetrable shield around the room. Not only aural, but physical too. Effectively barring anyone from eavesdropping or going in or out of the room.

"I would know my own mind Markus. I never mentioned it because you never used it. That was most probably why it was damaged when you did what you did, it was so unstable."

Markus looked stricken. He sat down next to Hanna and hunched. His head leaning heavily on his hands, looking down at the floor in a picture of dejection.

"You have to understand!" He pleaded. "There was an emergency meeting the moment your name was chosen as councilor. A few of us healers were called in. You were to be assigned a personal healer and one who had at least a small amount of gift was to be chosen. We were given one ultimatum. To the person who accepts the role, he was to link a lifetime bond with you, and it was to be done without your knowledge."

"Knowing you, I knew how jealous you were over your privacy. What more being unconsciously bonded to a complete stranger. So I volunteered to be yours. No other healer contested my claim. None of them were too happy with the prospect of being irrevocably bonded, for life, to someone so young and so strong that if found out..."

"That person may not have a mind left if he had pulled such a stunt on me." Josiah growled.

Markus looked up, his pallor blanched white. Still he did not look Josiah in the eye.

"I had many sleepless nights then, knowing that I was forced to build a bond with you. Even more without your consent. A psychic gag was placed over me, I could not tell you my intentions even if my life was on the line. So I decided to build a temporary link, one where its existence would be known by them. But with its true nature hidden."

Still staring into space he continued. "Why do you think I was part of your vesting ceremony?" He then let his body stoop even lower. " I wasn’t there as audience Josiah, I was there as your healer, your personal healer, and it was then when I linked the bond onto you. Right in front of the eyes of all the councilors who ordered it done. I did it then to mask my intentions of linking myself to you with a temporary bond instead of a permanent one where neither of us could be released from. I did it when everyone’s attention was on the ceremony itself. That’s including you."

Touched, Josiah caught hold of his friend’s hand and gave him an assuring squeeze. He could not imagine the amount of stress for the burden his friend had to bear at that moment few years back. Markus did not even respond to it. So deep was his anxiety. He said. "Actually I knew, the instance you linked that bond. It was a subtle move. But I felt it take shape."

"And yet you let it be?" Hanna queried.

Josiah shrugged. "A few reasons. The main reason was that I trusted him." He looked towards Markus, who didn’t seem to respond to his statement. "Also the way he structured the bond was as he had said, a temporary bond masked to look and feel like a permanent one. The moment I sensed the true nature of the bond, I realized that you were in some way coerced into doing such. So I played along."

"I don’t deserve that trust Josiah. I have been living a life of lies ever since." His hands moved to the crown of his head. Fingers intertwining with his hair, pulling them in frustration."

"With that gag, I am impressed that you could have actually done such a feat. And without them suspecting."

"But you did."

"So I did." Josiah brushed it off. "But essentially they did not suspect anything, or else you wouldn’t have come this far."

"Initially they were not happy. I frustrated them. It was difficult, but I found a way to keep information about you from everyone. Your quiet nature helped, neither you nor I said anything, so they got nothing from either of us. They gave up on digging information from me after a while."

"After that, I had to learn not only the basics to aid a gifted councilor but how to handle one as strong as you are." He let out a strangled laugh. "They have got no idea."

"I did not fit the bill?" Josiah’s voice was mild.

"They were far off the mark when it came to your gifted strength. Way far off..." Now he looked Josiah in the eye. "But believe me when I say that through all these years, I never did intrude into your mind. Not once."

"I believe you." Josiah said, still leaning against the sofa, unperturbed as he let Markus spill his heart out.

*

*He’s going to fall into pieces if you don’t do something Josi.* Hanna sent him privately.

*He doesn’t believe that I believe him.*

*Well you have to convince him that you believe him, then do something about that temporary link of his. It feels like a life wire short-circuiting inside his head.*

*I’ll have to disassemble it.*

*You can built another, but the foundation of the link has to be on another base. If we’re to go ahead with the kind of link we intend, that base isn’t going to hold.*

*No, it won’t. But I can’t link him to us on the strongest ground he has. I get a sense that he has a possibility to bond with another. A true bonding I mean.*

She looked at him surprised.

He just shrugged.

*

He took hold of Hanna’s hand and led her to where Markus sat. *Help me?*

She nodded once.

"I believe you, Markus." They each sat on either of Markus’s side. "Do you want to know why?" He waited till Markus looked up. "It’s because I know the kind of person you are. The principals you keep. And as I have said, I would know my own mind. As you have managed to feel my touch in your head, how more myself who have more control over my gift than you yours."

"Even more than even I do." Hanna chipped in.

"That is because of experience. But that is not the point now. The point is that we need to remedy the problem you are facing right now. The link you’ve constructed is giving you some very distorted details of what’s happening around us."

"You have got to sever the link, Josiah. I should have done that long ago. I’m so sorry. But somehow I couldn’t bring myself to do so." His voice distraught to the point of breaking. "All these while, I’ve become too attached to you. As morbid as it sounds, the bond gives me an assurance that you are alive and well on the other side. I was contented with that faint feel of your presence through the bond."

"And you wonder why we are that close." Josiah said, a faint touch of mirthfulness in his tone of voice.

Hanna nodded at the logic. "The bond amplified the emotions already felt. No matter how temporary it was made."

"How could you be sitting here so calmly, rationalizing out every detail of the confession I made?" Markus sputtered. "You should be raving mad! You should be threatening my life or frying my brains out or- something..."

"You make me sound so barbaric." Amusement was now predominantly etched in his voice. "I would know my own mind Markie."

With the use of his boyish nickname; used only when they were alone together, something snapped in place inside Markus and he managed to recompose himself, and this time really looked Josiah in the eye. "That’s the third time you used that phrase." He pondered a while. "But it’s different this time."

"That’s because you’ve caught the meaning this time." Josiah said.

"You would know your own mind. You had everything under control, didn’t you."

Josiah nodded. "I was on my guard for the first few weeks. But you shied away from me each time I asked you how you were. I scanned you; as I have done just now, not through the link. You were so tensed and worked up over what you had done that I had to literally calm you down. I don’t think you remembered that incident."

Markus shook his head.

"At that moment, I took the opportunity to corrode the gag they placed on you. I guess now is the time when it finally dissipated."

"Your words were the trigger that broke the last of the gag." Markus turned to Hanna, chagrin plastered over his face. He then grimaced.

"We need to disassemble the bond." Hanna pressed.

Markus nodded his consent as he shivered at the prospect of what he would endure. He had researched, and found that the feeling of lost would be akin to severing your own limb. He had known, all these while. But had gone ahead anyway with the creation of the temporary bond with Josiah. He had meant to sever it soonest, but the councilors were adamant in checking in once in a while, so he had to postpone. Till he realized that it had became an addiction.

"You’ll have to brace yourself, cause it’s going to hurt." Hanna warned.

He nodded and closed his eyes. He felt Josiah move to grip his arm as he sensed rather then felt a lightning knife that severed the temporary bond.

He doubled over as the pain and lost swamped over him. The grip at his arm tightened exorbitantly.

"Mar-kie- use-the-physical link. Touch me-through-the physical link..." He heard Josiah gasp through gritted teeth.

Belatedly, he realized that the feeling would be mutual. That Josiah would be feeling the exact pain and lost he was feeling. Disoriented by the sudden dead end the severed bond induced, he grasped his friend’s hand and held on for dear life as he linked to Josiah through the physical bond Josiah created.

*

Hanna watched her mate apprehensively as Josiah wavered between consciousnesses. He had managed to block almost all of the pain so she could do what that was needed. But the heartache was there and she did not like it.

Breathing heavily, he managed to take a glance at her. *I-care not-to relive-this-ever again. Not ever with-you.* His mind voice close to incoherency.

*

Awareness greeted him like a torn in the flesh. There was emptiness where the bond was severed. As though something alive before had been snuffed out before its time. His head felt numb and he couldn’t think properly. Something at his arm moved. Twitched actually. In his life, he just couldn’t comprehend what it was.

He moved.

And heard an intake of air.

"How do you feel?" He heard a female voice queried.

He looked up. It was Hanna, concern etched on her face.

"Josiah has blocked off all feelings so I can’t gauge how you’re feeling."

"Empty." The word fell flat from his lips for he had no other words to describe the lost feeling he felt inside. He paused a longer moment and whispered. "Thirsty." He felt as though he had been screaming himself hoarse.

Hanna came back with two glasses and a huge jug of water. Pouring out a cup, she helped steady the glass for him as his hand kept on shaking.

The twitching at his other arm intensified and he remembered. "I think Josiah is waking."

Hanna was already at his side, his head between the palms of her hands.

Josiah woke up calling her name.

With his teeth chattering, Markus reversed Josiah’s grip on him and held his friend’s arm tightly with both his hands.

"I’m here. I’m here." She assured. "Let go of the block, let me handle the pain."

He shook his head, sweat beading on his face, soaking his shirt.

"Trust Josi."

Markus felt him release the block before he heard Hanna grunted. Slowly he felt the pain dissipate as Hanna took control of it. At last he felt Josiah’s body relaxed, his strained muscles released from its clenching hold as Hanna numbed his pain receptors. It took a while before his breathing slowed to a more normal pace.

"It was harder on you." He stated.

After what was it seems was eternity, Josiah nodded. "The stronger the person’s gift, the harder it is for us when a bond breaks. The lost is more profound. That is also a reason why we don’t readily bond, unless it’s a lifetime commitment. Some stronger, permanent bonds when severed can cause death." His head lolled to his side. "Do you have-"

"Water." Hanna held the glass at his lips. He guzzled the water greedily.

"We also do not have much time." She added.

Josiah stared at her for a long moment. "That’s cruel."

"The circumstances changed."

"We can try."

"You can try."

One said in earnest, the other cynical.

After much contemplation he looked down. "I suppose not. I wanted it to be a choice for him."

"The choice was made long ago."

"I could at least try."

The both of them looked at Markus.

"Whatever it is, I could at least give it a try." He did not know what possessed him to say as such.

"I did not read you. The general feeling seeped through. It feels like you’re both preparing for the worst."

Josiah’s stare dropped to Markus’s hands, still gripping his arm in a death grip. "Try letting go?"

Markus frowned as he followed Josiah’s gaze down to his hands. He loosened his grip on him.

"Slowly."

He sensed Josiah bracing himself just then. Why? He wondered. He moved his fingers and something tugged at his heart. Steeling himself, he let go of Josiah’s arm. For just a second, the world around stood still. Then all hell broke loose as pain sizzled through his body. At that very moment, all he could remember seeing was Josiah’s deathly pale features and Hanna’s concerned face. None made a move to touch him. He tried controlling the pain, tried blocking the pain receptors. Tried ignoring the sense of lost and abandonment. But nothing worked.

"Will this recede?” He managed, though he knew the answer to his own question.

"Not in months to come." Hanna confirmed the answer in his head. "It will not kill you, but neither of you would be able to function till then. Your gift has grown too strong since you first bonded with Josi."

Not able to take it any longer, he grabbed hold of Josiah’s arm. The pain dropped significantly to a bruising echo of what he had just encounter.

"You felt it too, didn’t you?” He said. "It wasn’t just me alone, wasn’t it."

Josiah nodded. "Yours and mine together. But like Hanna had said, it will not kill either of us, just incapacitate the both of us for a while."

"Hanna?"

"I blocked the pain from jumping across the link."

"I am so sorry. I didn’t know what I did could have caused so much problems. I can’t be burdening myself to you and..."

"There is a proposition." Hanna cut in. "From the both of us. We actually planned to persuade you to let us bond you to us. Before this happened. This was the reason why we wanted to meet with you."

Markus watched them in silence, as if contesting the veracity of her words.

"Hanna is telling you the truth, Markie. I had intended to silently reinforce the existing bond you have made should you have agreed with our proposition. But since yours went havoc..." He sighed. "But if you’d agree in bonding with us, the bond created has to be a stronger one. And one that does not involve deception." He said gently.

"I don’t understand." He said in puzzlement. "Why would you want to create another one? Haven’t I created enough problems for you? How could you even trust me after this? And even so, wouldn’t the bond itself cause even more problems for you? Look how painful this bond is now. You said it yourself- The stronger the person’s gift, the harder it is when the bond breaks."

"Yes, and we too, don’t readily bond." Josiah said, echoing his words.

"Then why?"

"He answered you Markie. None of us readily bonds to another, because it is a lifetime bonding. We don’t bond with the intention for it to break in years to come."

"But you still haven’t got my point. Why?"

Josiah slowly looked at his friend. A sudden fear washed over him as he contemplated the possibilities of what he might do if he looses Markus to revenge or petty rivalries that poses itself in his line of work.

......my advice to you... Do not let him be your weak spot...... Aidan’s words echoed painfully in his mind.

*Josiah.* Hanna whispered in his mind. She had read his thoughts and had understood them clearly. *You will not do anything rash. I know you.* She said sternly.

"I haven’t said no, Josiah. But I just want to know why. So don’t fall into pieces." Markus said with determination.

That statement brought him out of his reverie. His surprised must have shone on his face, for Markus continued.

"I am still a healer Josi." He held Josiah’s limp arm up with his, reiterating his physical connection with him. "I felt your emotions skyrocketed through the ceiling. Now calm down and tell me why."

"Because you are a brother to me, Markus. I don’t want to create a scenario where you could be a weak link for me in the line of my work, in a possibility where you could be taken as a bait or hostage against me."

"And Hanna wouldn’t be."

Josiah laughed mirthlessly. "Hanna can take care of herself. And I didn’t say it to make it sound like a slight. She really can."

"And you’re saying that I can’t."

"I can only say that you’ll be better protected. Because you can then learn to shield yourself by using our knowledge and our powers through the bond."

"And you can trust me to go inside your head?"

"You already did."

"That is not what I meant."

"That IS precisely why I can trust you. You already know that you’re not supposed to. And when the circumstance needs you to, you know where to thread and where not to."

Markus still sat uncomprehending, he shook his head.

Half in desperation, Josiah sat right in front if him and grasped Markus by the scuff of his collar. He almost forcefully shoved him backwards onto the back of the sofa. So strong was his ire.

Calmly enduring his friend’s manhandling, Markus just took care of maintaining his contact with Josiah. All these years together, he had never before seen Josiah loose his cool like this.

"Josiah-" Hanna warned. Ready to intervene should the situation needed her to.

He shook his head, assuring her that he was still in control of himself.

Looking straight into Markus’s eyes, he said. "Every moment you hesitate, the physical bond grows more unstable. Physical contact was never meant to be a way to create a bond, however temporary it was made for." He squeezed both of Markus’s arms tightly. "I love you Markie. Not as a lover, but as a brother would. I will not force you to accept the bond, because I know you treasure free will above all else."

He heard Markus swallowed a choke then, confirming his guess that free will was what hampered his friend’s decision making.

"There will be privacy on both sides Markie, no one will know what you do in the bathroom. This bond will not be similar to the ones you’ve heard of. I have no interest in sharing such bonds with you. Whatever decisions you make, it will be by your own terms. Neither of us will be in your head to sway your thoughts. The bond is there only for your protection. Because we love you. But the decision has to be made soon. Be it yes or no. If yes, good. If no, we need to break the contact and deal with the pain and lost. Hanna can help dull it, but that is all that can be done if you take that route."

Markus sat unmoving as Josiah ranted on. "There isn’t really a choice, is there." He said. "That was what you meant by being cruel."

"You can make it a choice."

He loosened his grip on Markus, the fire gone out from him.

"Don’t give up." Markus held on to him. His grasp firm. "Don’t give up. It’s not like you to give up a fight."

Cautiously, Josiah eyed his friend. He had closed his eyes, his breathing shallow. "Markie-"

"I can feel the love you’re talking about, Josi. Even Hanna’s. It’s very intense when you’re this passionate." He opened his eyes and stared back into his friend’s eyes. "I like that feeling. Constricting yet assuring."

Constricting yet...

No... He was at it again, controlling another. He loosened his grip and his mental will. "I’m so sorry." He whispered. "I shouldn’t have..."

"Don’t let go." Markus reinforced his grasp on both Josiah’s grip on him. "You can do it on me once in a while, when things are not in such dire state."

He sat benignly for a while, thrust up in Josiah’s mind control, pondering over the circumstance he was in. "Can I just add one more condition to the list you’ve just stated? A give and take? Then I’ll accept it wholeheartedly."

"What is the condition?" Josiah’s tone held a hint of wariness. Something he could hide from everyone, but not him, so close were their proximity.

"That you’ll let me be your personal healer. To the both of you. I too care deeply for the both of you. I just ask that you’ll both listen to me when it comes to your wellbeing, and trust that I have the best for you in mind. That is all I ask. My protection for your protection. A give and a take. It is only fair."

"Do not make it as part of the terms Markie." Josiah pleaded. "There may be moments where we may not be able to comply."

"I will be reasonable Josi. Healers often are."

"You’re asking for too much."

"Am I?"

"I agree with Markie’s condition." Hanna said, entering the conversation for the first time, effectively tipping the scales two to one. She had wanted to touch his shoulder as confirmation, but pulled back after a second thought. "He would want to care for us too, the same as we do. Do you not feel it?"

Josiah leaned backwards. He looked to be wrestling with his own conscience. "If you must set it as part of the bonding terms, please understand that it will be a compulsion of sort for us to follow your orders as a healer." He stressed the last three words. "Our lives will then be literally in your hands, so please do not misuse that trust."

"Have I in any way before this done so?" Markus asked.

"No. But now you will have that capability over us." Josiah paused ever so slightly. "And I will add one more. For both parties this time."

"I agree." Hanna said, picking the thought from his head.

"A fail-safe, where if in an instance either of us would to loose the control of our minds, the capacity of power over the other party nullifies."

Markus smiled. "You fear me loosing my head and going a top of you?"

"No. I fear the other way around."

His smile turned melancholy. "I am not afraid, I did promise to keep the both of you safe." His expression turned serious. "Nevertheless, I do agree to the bonding then."

Josiah was torn between relief and unease when Markus agreed so.

"I’m so sorry Markie, about all these."

"Why do you still apologize? I am actually relieved to have this out in the open with you."

Josiah sighed. He shifted his right hand to the front of Markus chest, not where the heart was, but slightly above it. He shifted his collar a little so that he could have skin contact.

Markus moved his friend’s hand lower, where his heart was. "Isn’t it supposed to be here? Right where the heart is?"

Josiah shook his head and shifted his hand back to its original place, slightly above the heart. "I cannot bond with you there. It could kill you if we bond there." He swallowed. "Anyway, for me, that place has already been given to Hanna." He left out the fact that Markus’s heart could have a chance to belong to another who would hold a stronger claim on him.

Markus nodded. "What do you need me to do?"

"You will know what to do when the time comes, Markie."

Markus felt a light tug at his chest area. He grunted and looked down, unsure of the feeling he had just felt. It was a mixture of a needle prick and the feeling you get when you listen to a heart-warming story being told to the fullest.

There was really nothing to be seen. He hadn’t expected to see anything. No flash of light, no sizzle sazzle. Then the feeling intensified. He sucked in a breath of air. It hurt. Physically he pressed the palm of his hand a top Josiah’s that was on his chest, trying to squeeze the pain away. His chest felt as though it was going to burst, as though Josiah was pulling something out from him.

He gasped painfully. His other hand blindly grasping in Josiah’s direction. His fingers flittered across the area above Josiah’s heart and felt a sudden and powerful pull there. He ’pulled’ with all his might.

"Markie!" Josiah gasped in pain.

But Markus continued to pull, somehow joining it to the area on his chest right above his heart. The area his friend’s hand had marked, the area that was somehow emptied by Josiah’s pulling action.

*

Halfway during the process, Hanna realized that the scales had inevitably tipped towards Markus. The healer had pulled too frantically, too forcefully. The block Josiah had erected to shield the pain and the bonding process from her shattered. The moment Josiah gasped Markus’s name, she felt a part of herself being pulled across and into Markus.

Out of a sudden, she had two male presences inside her mind. The still dominant touch of Josiah’s mind, and now an additional foreign but growing tinge of Markus’s mind and presence in her head. Deep down inside, she realized and had to accept the fact that Markus was now irrevocably linked not only to Josiah; her mate, but also to her.

Previously, as an unspoken agreement, she hadn’t physically held contact with either Josiah or Markus, just in case the physical bond; as unstable as it was, might latched onto her, bonding Markus to her instead of Josiah.

Now the situation had turned awry. Instead of Josiah alone, the bond had went three ways. They were all in each other’s minds.

She felt the bonding energy recede. The bond solidifying, shouldering its place in each of them for eternity. She placed her hand a top Markus’s that was on Josiah’s, a top of Markus’s chest.

*Hanna!* Josiah sent dismayed. *Don’t!-*

*It’s all right.* Hanna assured. *It was too late even before I touched you. Markus pulled a bit too much, too close to our bond base. We are linked.*

Markus’s eyes popped open. *I heard that! I heard Hanna! How is it that I hear you?* He asked in her direction.

Words not his jumbled inside his head. *...too late ... before I touched... pulled too much ... too close ... We are linked ...... We are linked. We are linked. We are linked. We are linked. We are linked.*

The three words echoed inside his head. Not his, but by a foreign voice. Slightly minty exotic.

*"Stop!"*

*"Stop!"*

Two different voices vibrated in his head.

Silence echoed painfully.

He could hear his own heavy breathing fill the room. He shook his head, unable to accept the situation. Before he realized it, his whole body began to shake. His worst fears were coming true, this was how some people went mad after bonding with each other.

"*Get a grip on yourself Markus. You’re not going to go mad.*" Josiah directed that thought towards him.

*It’s disconcerting Josi, but you can’t block off a bond, however temporary you want it to be. Especially at this early stage.* He heard Hanna tell Josiah. Pictures sent, ideas returned. Unfinished questions answered. All at lightning speed.

He gagged, he couldn’t take the chaos of too many views and opinions at one time in his head.

*But that’s never been done before, what’s the use of bonding if-*

*None of this has been done before.*

*What has never been done before.* He asked, setting steel in his mind voice. Forcing himself to getting use to the echo effect in his mind when he said something.

*A three-way bonding.* He didn’t know who answered.

Another image flashed through his mind.

A door.

*Didn’t know that’s possible.*

*Just a thought.*

*Access?*

A key came to mind.

*Possible-*

*Hassle.*

*Veil?*

*And door?*

*And door.*

"And I’m going to be sick." Markus said out loud. "Do you always talk so fast? I ’am’ here you know."

Hanna looked his way. *You’re not going to be sick, Markus. You’ll find your balance.*

*He has already found his balance.* Josiah shot back dryly. *If he had not, he’d already be senseless on the ground.*

*Don’t be a baby Markie, how are you going to be our healer if you don’t find your own ground?*

*I am not a baby.* He spaced his words out to show his displeasure. *Do not think that you have me at a disadvantage just because I am not used to-* He found himself tightly embraced in the arms of Hanna.

*I told you you’d be all right.*

Still in her arms, he sent. *It is confusing. I didn’t expect you to be linked to me too, it was supposed to be solely Josiah.*

*So I thought, too.* Josiah notified.

*There are so many things going back and forth between the two of you, it’s as though...*

*You’re submerged in a whirlpool filled with fragments of words, thoughts and ideas?* Josiah described.

*That about sums it up. It’s just that not all of them are mine.*

*Try adding them with some colossal amount of unknown memories, faces and sensations. And none of them yours either.*

*Josiah!* Hanna admonished.

She turned back to him. *I won’t deny, it can be overpowering at times. Especially when you’re still new to it. During these times, you’ll feel as though the world is coming down on you. But when you’ve accustom yourself to the feeling, you’ll understand that it can never hurt you.*

*That’s how you stay sane?* He gave a nervous giggle.

*The thought of going mad never came to mind. But if you want to look at it that way...* She shrugged.

He fidgeted. *What’s on your mind?* They were at it again, hedging and stalling.

She eyed him speculatively.

*I sense something behind all your chatter.*

*Do you now.* She replied.

He tensed as he felt gentle hands covering his forehead and temples.

*Relax.* He heard Josiah said from behind him. He felt him exert control over his mind.

*What are you planning to do?* He shuddered unconsciously.

*Good. You can sense subtle changes.* Josiah said.

*Just don’t scare him.* He heard Hanna cautioned him.

*Scare me how?*

He felt the control tightened, just a little more. Reflexively, he reversed the control Josiah had over his mind. He found himself staying Josiah’s reflexes, but did not intrude into his mind.

He gulped nervously. *I don’t know how I just did that. I’m so sorry. But can you please tell me what you’re intending to do?*

*You did what you were supposed to do in your position.* He heard Hanna say. He could even detect a grin in her voice. *Could you release Josi?*

*How?* He looked at her sheepishly.

*Relax your hold?*

Slowly, he did what she told him to and felt Josiah shifted behind him.

"That was him scaring me." Josiah muttered verbally.

"Now what’s going on?" He pleaded.

*Remember what we said about privacy?* Josiah said. With his nod of admission, he continued. *Now is the time where we fulfill that promise.*

"How?"

*Can you meet me here?*

Markus ’saw’ a bright spark of light somewhere inside him. He realized that it was somewhere in the middle of the bond that linked them to him, if there is a measurement of distance to it.

*Okay.* He found it. *What do you want me to do now?*

*Can you create a barrier similar to the one that’s there?*

He touched and felt the opposing force that was held suspended there. Somehow he managed to replicate it, holding it in place.

*Good.*

He felt Josiah making minute changes to his own barrier and realized another building beside his.

*That’s mine.* Hanna sent. We need to create it as similar as possible to yours.*

*Can I help?*

He had the impression that they were both shaking their heads.

*It has to be yours that is the mold. Because it’s for you the protection is for. Ours have to fit yours perfectly.*

*Okayyy...*

*Okay. Can you push yours against ours? Make it into a single barrier.* Josiah continued.

Bracing himself, he ’pushed’.

*Slowly.*

He pushed, slowly.

Bit by bit, he felt all three barriers merged into one. The barrier then enveloped him, an impenetrable shield that he knew in an instance, was his to command. At its source; at the link that bonded them, he felt Josiah create an access portal. At its brink, a veil was placed. A veil that somehow envisaged a curtain bellowing in the wind.

*For privacy. Yours and ours.* He heard Hanna say, a lingering minty exotic flavor in her scent. She chuckled to herself. *The access portal; a door. We all have access, and we all hold the key to its lock, you can lock it or unlock it whenever you feel the need to. And when it’s locked, neither side will force it open, unless there’s really a need.* She smiled. *Just like any regular door.*

Josiah continued. *The door stays open, unless in certain circumstances pertaining, either party can close it. At its brink is this veil.* Josiah ’showed’ him the light barrier that shielded him from the cluttered views and chatter the bonded pair emitted. *Flip it open, and there is nothing that hinder our thoughts. Flip it close.* Josiah did just that, and his mind was suddenly void of their sounds and feelings that he had gotten used to.

He shuddered at the sudden removal. And found that he couldn’t live without their presence in his mind.

"It will never hurt you, Markie." Hanna whispered, holding him tighter in her embrace as an effort to assure him, misinterpreting his sudden shuddering for fear. He suddenly felt numb. Alone and numb.

"We’ll never let it hurt you." Josiah backed.

He shook his head. "It’s not that." His voice slurred.

There was a pause.

"Markie-"

He ’reached’ out and peeled aside the veil. Not the whole way; but leaving a gap. He felt their presence seep through then. Not enough to constantly annoy him, but enough to sooth his jangled nerves. Exhausted and trapped in Hanna’s embrace, he just leaned forward and let his forehead rest on Hanna’s shoulder. He then fell into a peaceful slumber. Peace he had denied himself due to his duplicity towards his only true friend, found him.

"He’s out like a lamp." Hanna whispered as she looked up at her mate in front of her.

"He peeled back the veil." He looked awed. "I would think that he’d be gratified in having his own privacy back."

"I think he got used to your presence when he was bonded to you before. It had gotten too quiet for him now, being alone in his own head."

Josiah just stared at her, intermittently taking a glance at his friend, hardly believing that what Markus had done was not just a trick of his own mind.