James Davies
Part 4 - Bloom: II
II
Akiko stayed with Yuri that night.
They did not talk much on their way back to Yuri’s apartment.
Yuri, still in a deep sense of shock, could not get over the crashing reality around her. Firstly, her nose hurt, and so did her head from slamming into the pole. Her backside soon began to throb from the heavy impact with the ground. Second, the shock of seeing Yukio in the shop made her feel cold inside. It felt as if the creep had perfectly timed it. Thirdly was the shock of her chance meeting with Akiko. A total accident. In the flurry of panic, Yuri had forgotten even, the reason she came out, passing by the 24/7 shop. Not that she wanted to go back anyway. The thought of Yukio stalking the aisles, the wet slapping of the mop getting closer and closer to her, guided by the trembling hands of some desperate pervert, frightened her.
As they approached the apartment complex’s gates, Yuri looked up to where her apartment was. Was the bastard waiting for her? Just above her place, a little way over, a yellow light shone out the window. She glared at it, watched it go out as they approached. She felt like an animal, realising almost too late that there was a trap nearby.
“Are you okay?” Akiko’s voice cut in.
Yuri did not really hear her. Was she a fool for going back to the apartment? Hell! It was her home after all. And, Yukio did not seem the fighting sort. Yuri was by no means a strong girl, but she had taken the creep out with one punch to the gut, and this time she was not alone. She gave a sideways smirk, and nodded slightly, making sure not to break too much eye contact away from the light in the apartment. It seemed to make the line of questioning awkward enough to end there. Yuri had made sure that the apartment door was locked before opening it. She looked to the stair case that lead down to her level. No one was there. She opened the door and walked in, Akiko closely following her. She flicked on the lights, eyes darting around the rooms. Akiko gasped.
“Ah! That smell!”
Yuri glared.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting any guests.”
She went into the bathroom, grabbing an untouched spray bottle of air freshener. A quick few spurts and the room was filled with a sweet, flowery smelling haze.
“I guessed as much.”
Akiko looked at the empty noodle pots that lined the work tops in the kitchen. “Ramen?”
“Yes. I live off the stuff at the moment.” She replied curtly. “I’m sorry for the mess, and smell. I’ve been rather the shut in.” She placed the bottle of spray onto the counter and looked to Akiko. “Please, take a seat on the sofa. It’s clean over there, I promise!” Yuri smiled.
Akiko smiled and nodded back, moving away from the kitchen area and settling on the sofa. Yuri looked into the cupboard, hoping to find some tea.
She was in luck. A quarter empty packet sat near the back of the cupboard.
“Tea?” She called out to her friend.
“Yes please.” Akiko replied.
She brewed it in the pot and brought it over. She quickly rinsed out the mug she had used endlessly since a few months ago, sat at the computer. Then she remembered, she only had the one.
“I’m not thirsty, so you drink up.” Yuri lied.
“Oh. Thank you!” Akiko replied back cheerily.
Yuri brought the pot over, and the semi-clean mug. The tea had marbled the inside of the cup brown, but it looked a damn sight better than before its hasty wash out.
Akiko gave an awkward half-smile as the grimy tea cup and water marked tea pot were placed in front of her. The girl really had no cares in regards to hygiene. Akiko considered rejecting the tea, but she already felt awkward.
What do you say to the girl you have not seen since you were 8 years old? Whose father’s drunken antics became part of your girl group gossip, and, whose eventual suicide lead to Yuri’s tragic abandonment of Tokyo, leaving such an odd hole in Akiko’s adolescent years. She had considered them friends, good friends at that. In fact, Yuri was the one that introduced Akiko to Akira, her sweetheart and fiancé.
“So,” Yuri sat down in the near the fireplace display. “How have you been all these years?”
There was a pause. It felt odd asking a question like that. The two women meeting like two old lovers who had not reconciled feelings for each other, or two old dears that had just bumped into each other on the street.
“I feel like I should be asking you that, Yuri.” Akiko bowed her head slightly, pouring herself some tea.
Yuri nodded back.
“I’ll start then.” Yuri smiled, suddenly feeling parched at the notion of talking. Or was it nerves? “I’ve been living in Hokkaido since I was about 15. Lived there for a couple years, and now I’ve living in Tokyo for the past few months. It honestly feels like years.”
Akiko cupped her mug in her hands, looking at the steam rising.
“You didn’t get in contact with anyone?”
“No. I had no numbers. No way of contacting anyone.”
Akiko nodded sadly.
“You been alright?”
Yuri sighed.
“I’ve been okay. I’ve started up my own blog.” She paused, not wishing to give up her secret. “It’s like a lifestyle thing, you know?”
“Oh? Like those cooking blogs, or those Housewife periodicals?”
Yuri laughed.
“Something like that. Although, I’m not sure how much of a good housewife I am. No husband, no cleaning skills, just about enough good hygiene to keep myself presentable.”
Akiko laughed too.
“I must admit, there would be a great irony if you were writing a blog about cleanliness. I really don’t mean to be rude about it. It’s just, so lived in this place! How long have you been here?”
“Half a year now, round about.”
Akiko’s eyebrows rose.
“You make a bit of money then from this blogging stuff I take it?”
“Enough.” Yuri lied.
Akiko nodded.
“So, quick question. Why were you running earlier?”
Yuri froze a moment, struck by how late the question had come up. Akiko must have been trying to ask her earlier, but in the shell-shocked state she was in, she could not for a good answer. Yuri’s head bowed, preparing her voice to lower.
“I have a problem, with a boy.”
Akiko’s concern suddenly heightened.
“A stalker?”
The word hit Yuri, snapping her head back up. She clenched her hands together, bundling a fold of her tracksuit in her hands.
“Of sorts. Needless to say he’s persistent.” She paused. “He lives on the floor above too.” She tried to say it quietly.
Akiko gasped.
“Oh my gosh!” Her voice raised slightly. Yuri almost fell forward out of the chair, desperate to shut Akiko up.
What if the creep could hear them?
“Akiko. Please.” She tried to calm her friend, pleading with her.
“But, he lives in these apartments? Above you!” She said, an outraged shrill in her outburst. Yuri wanted to sink into the ground. “I’m staying!”
Yuri looked at her friend with intensity.
“Huh?”
“I want to stay with you for a while. It’s been years since we last saw each other, and I want to catch up.” She pointed a finger upwards. “And make sure you’re safe.”
Yuri, both panic-stricken Yukio could hear Akiko, and flattered at the sudden, out-of-nowhere act of kindness, simply croaked and mumbled nonsense.
“It’s okay.” Akiko continued “I’m not waiting on anything really. Akira’s away at the moment. He’s at university in Germany, Munich to be precise. He struggles to get back for Christmas. I don’t blame him. Christmas in Europe seems so much more magical than here.” She smiled sadly, lost in a moment of admiration and loss.
Yuri, still taken-aback by Akiko’s sudden want to stay, she simply nodded at everything.
“I’ve only got enough for one person at the moment. We’ll have to go out shopping together.”
“I can cook by the way, and I’m working a few shifts at the student bar down in the Akihabara district. Only on weekends, but you make enough to get by!”
“I hope not as one of those maids! Those places creep me out. Well, from what I’ve read about them.”
Akiko laughed.
“No! No such thing! It’s a kind of internet café, pit stop for students who need some down time from studying. I’m not dressing up like some scantily clad character for men to lust after!”
Yuri and Akiko were both laughing.
“Okay! You get to stay. You happy with the sofa?”
Akiko nodded, a warm smile beaming across her face.
“Of course. I can grab some bits in the morning. In fact, what time is it?” Akiko looked at her watch. “It’s nearly 1 am!”
“You don’t need to be anywhere?”
“No! It’s just I normally I speak to Akira about now. It’s like 6 pm over there.”
“Why not go back to yours, speak to Akira, and then come back with some stuff in the morning. To be honest, I’m tired, and I need some time to calm down I think. Plus, I’ll want to clean up for you if you are deciding to stay.”
Akiko laughed.
“Alright. Say! Do you have a phone?”
Yuri paused for a moment.
What sort of reaction would she get saying she did not have a phone in this day and age?
“No. I haven’t even looked at a phone shop.”
“Oh! Well come on girl! We need to get you up to date! We’ll go out phone shopping too! It’ll be great.” Akiko smiled expectantly. “Not got a phone I can talk to you on?”
Yuri shook her head.
“No. I just have my blog.”
“Oh! Can I contact you on that?”
Yuri paused.
“It’s not very good for messaging.” She let out a slight smile, feeling awkward, like she was baring too much of herself all at once. She felt exposed. “How about a time and place. I need to get out of here more often.”
Akiko nodded.
“That’s a fact! Right, I better get going! Akira will be waiting for me. His classes finish at half-5, then he’s back by quarter past-6. We’ve got it synched!”
Yuri giggled slightly.
“I’m happy to hear. I’ll let you out.”
Akiko followed as Yuri stood up out of the chair and opened the door for her. Yuri took Akiko down to the gate, making sure to lock her door.
She suddenly became aware of how quiet the building was, the oppressive blackness of windows surrounding her. The whole tower, apart from her little pad, were still asleep. Realising how noisy they had been, she hurried Akiko away, saying her goodbyes under the floodlit entrance to the apartment. They decided to meet back in the shop parade around noon-ish. They would go from there to the centre, have a girly shop and catch-up proper.
Yuri walked back up to her room, the sound of her trainers thudding on the concrete echoing up the stairwell. She carefully unlocked her door, a mixture of emotion coming over her. Elation, nervousness, relief. All crashing over her in waves, meeting together and fanning out in a spray. She leant against the door, her head beginning to swirl like a typhoon. The dizziness of her chance encounter, the adrenaline rush of her flight through the streets, the near horror-film scenario in the shop, all flooded her with a weakness that could only be sated by sleep.
As her head lulled against the door, her eyes caught something in the back light of the living room. A small red envelope lay atop an unorganised pile of spam mail. It looked so out of place, almost calling to her to open it. She bent down to pick it up, cocking her head to the side. Carefully, she picked it up. With arms outstretched, she placed the little red envelope on the counter, studying it as she took it over.
The writing was neat, the symbols perfectly curved and curled off. The ink did not seem that fresh.
How long had it been sat there?
She wondered who would deliver a letter like this to her. Something so small, in this style of envelope was reserved only for someone known, or close. Her first thoughts fell on Yukio. Was the little creep sending love letters now? She resisted the urge to tear up the envelope and letter together right away, glaring at it with a sudden, intense hatred.
No.
What if she was wrong?
She decided that curiosity would get the better of her if she did not open it now.
She tore the flap of the envelope with a fierce rip. Pulling out the jet white card, she eyed the front of it. Blank. The back too was blank. There was no message, not design, nothing to say that it was a birthday card sent too early, or a late Christmas card. The only way she would know if by opening it.
As she did, the blank card became all at once even more sinister.
Scrawled in red ink this time, were symbols that confused and frightened her.
‘Your Fault.’
The next morning brought the city to life, raising the sleeping bodies of Yuri’s apartment complex, rousing to their jobs and livelihoods.
Yuri had not yet slept.
She, in fact, had not done much of anything. She simply sat on the bed, looking at the note folded up on the desk, scanning the contents of it in her mind’s eye. The red ink had burned deep into her retinas, the symbols bouncing around behind her eyes like when a chink of sunlight glares into the eyes and leaves a blinding spot on the vision.
What was her fault?
She thought back over the months, and the various people she had spoken to online.
But, at first, she thought to Yukio upstairs. Had he left it in a fit of pique? But, what was Yuri’s fault? She thought to that night on the bench, and the way the snivelling little boy had encroached on her, how weak he actually seemed. If Yukio was strong enough, and determined enough, Yuri was sure he would have done something worse than just caress her thigh, and in a quicker time too, not letting her have enough of a chance to fight back. Indeed, she believed if he wanted too, and was powerful enough, he would stomp down those stairs, bash in the door and take her for his own regardless of protest. But that was not it. She knew boys like Yukio had the mentality of the hard done by loser. They wanted to feel weak, like the world was against them. Sympathy was their weapon, not brute force.
However, with this mysterious mother, she wondered if something had happened to her.
Yuri’s thoughts had drifted like this, from Yukio, to a mysterious blogger whom she had advised online.
That one seemed frighteningly plausible, but wholly inaccurate too.
She had never given her address, or name out, to anyone but Akiko last night. And only Yukio knew she lived there, and knew her in some form of personable way. Still, that did not stop a crazed madman, or madwoman, hunting her down, or maybe tracking her via her internet connection.
Had someone hacked her computer? Tracked her IP address or line into the internet, and found out her personal details? Had someone even followed her, spied her and spotted the salesman at the door? Could someone even of heard the conversation she and Akiko had had? Listening in to their every word?
Could someone, would someone, do that to Yuri?
She thought that maybe some of her advice failed. She had 1000’s of scenarios of embittered people, in failing relationships, trapped and lashing out, or in abusive situations, or unhappy at life. Full of rage. She thought of someone, that crazed, that enraged enough to hunt Yuri down. They would truly be a psychopath, and dangerous in all possible ways.
She did not feel safe.
She did not dare to turn on the computer. She did not want to know what dangers awaited her on the other side of the screen, on her blog. She swallowed hard, and in the process of the night, during her whirlwind of suspects, pulled out the computer’s power cable from the wall. She unplugged the internet hub, and took out all the Ethernet cables. There was no way anyone could track her now.
As she sat on the bed, the red symbols still stirring her mind into unease, she totally forgot about her meeting with Akiko. Not that she would be leaving the house anytime soon.
Should she tell Akiko about the note?
No.
Anything that would expose her, or open her up to anyone could be risky.
All she could think about was escape as she spent the rest of the morning sitting still on the bed, running through everything she had ever said to anyone ever, mounting a list of suspects in a paranoid delusion.
Akiko somehow ended up getting back to Yuri’s. Yuri was unsure how. Maybe someone had let her in. Still, it did not matter.
The banging of the door frightened her.
Thoughts of a lumbering figure, neither feminine nor masculine, just an entity of human malice stood at her door, brandishing a blade behind its back filled her mind. She looked through her bedroom door, through to the locked front door on the far side of the room. Then she heard a voice cut through.
“Yuri! It’s Akiko? Are you alright? I waited for you but you never showed! I have food, and tea! And my stuff!”
Akiko’s voice sounded sweet, if not a little warbled. It sounded, almost, as if Akiko was sad. Yuri stood herself up, shakily on her numbed legs. She nearly face-planted to the ground, but found her step with a quivering hobble. Reaching the bedroom door, she cracked it open slightly, her eye illuminated faintly by the soft glow of afternoon breaching the shut blinds. No one was out there waiting for her.
In a haste, she ran to the front door, her legs stumbling, struggling to keep up her weight was the tingle of blood ran through them. She fell into the front door, her eye meeting the fish eye peep hole looking out over her porch.
Indeed, Akiko was there. Her eyes were like a panda’s, her demeanour that of someone shattered, lost. Yuri felt a sympathy for the girl.
“I’m sorry. I must’ve fallen asleep.” She croaked through the door.
In a reserved manner, she opened the front door, cautiously. Akiko tried to step in as the door slowly came open, but halted after a step, realising Yuri was taking her time. Not that Akiko really cared.
Yuri pulled the door wide open, ushered in Akiko and slammed it shut again. The paranoia was thick in the room. Akiko, stood with her overnight bags and shopping bags, full of food for them to share. Akiko took a quick glance at Yuri, her eyes opening wide.
She had been crying.
Yuri knew something bad must had happened.
“What’s wrong?” She asked.
Akiko did not reply, she simply turned, placing the shopping bags on the countertop. She kicked her overnight bag to near the lounge area.
“No wonder you don’t have any close friends if you keep them waiting like that.”
Akiko’s voice trembled, not with anger though. Yuri could tell this was something to deflect the conversation from walking down a truthful path. Yuri swallowed.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t sleep well.” Her voice was tired.
“Well. This is why we need phones.”
Silence. Akiko did not turn to meet Yuri’s gaze. Yuri, now comfortable, more familiar with Akiko’s presence, took a tentative step forward, her legs now overcoming their numbness. The question, the question that immediately came into Yuri’s mind next, she knew, would be the final blow in Akiko’s weak defences.
“Was Akira okay?” She asked.
It was emotionless, said simply as a fact.
Akiko’s legs buckled, her body trembling. A wail pierced the air. She spun around, leaning on the counter. Her eyes trickled tears.
“He’s been killed. In a car crash.”
Yuri stopped a moment, face to face with her old school friend.
Another cruel twist of fate in life.
Yuri looked at the girl. She did not know much of what had happened since the two of them had split apart all those years ago, but Yuri recognised the wrenching pain of sudden death like no other. The form of Akiko, weak, leaning on the counter-top, reminded her of her father all those years ago, his face a bubbling mask of anger as he clutched at the foot of the bed where her mother had died.
But, Akiko’s mask was simply one of tragedy. There were no more words to be spoken. Yuri stepped forward, confident this time, and simply held her.
Akiko fell into the embrace, nearly pulling Yuri to the floor with the suddenness. There was a faint moment, like the whole of time had frozen, and all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room, out of the two girls, and a silent vacuum had swallowed them up. Yuri did not emote. She could not. She felt it against her nature to. To savour someone else’s grief for them, not matter how human the reaction, was emotionally greedy. She reserved herself to a deadlocked stare forward, feeling Akiko trembling in her arms.
The fragility of life, living or dead.
A stone dropping into the water, causing ripples.
Yuri thought of this as she pulled the girl over to the sofa.
Akiko sobbed quietly, not able to make an articulate sentence. She simply mumbled in her sobs, gasping sometimes for breath. Yuri,
Yuri, once Akiko was settled, set to make some tea. Akiko stopped sobbing partway through, the kettle the only thing making noise. In this moment, Yuri wondered why she had automatically gone to make the mug of tea. What in her social reflexes had taught her to do that? As she put the tea on the tray, the two mugs washed and ready to be filled, she came round the counter, Akiko sat stock still, looking forward. If anything, it reminded Yuri of herself not so long ago.
“Akiko. Have some tea.”
Yuri poured the steaming tea into the mug and pushed it in front of Akiko, the water vapour curving its way up into Akiko’s face. Yuri looked as the girl watched the steam dissipate into the air. She turned to Yuri.
“I was told by his mother. She left me a message on my phone. It didn’t really sink in until I saw you. I did everything as normal. I was looking forward to this sleepover thing.”
Yuri nodded.
“It hits us at different times.”
“I know.”
Akiko bowed her head solemnly. “I just wish I could have had a chance to say goodbye. But, after I heard the message, and how broken up his family were, I couldn’t be in the same place as that message. It hung around me like a bad smell.
“I even tried to go onto the computer, thinking it was a joke of some sort, some kind of cruel prank. I loaded up Messenger, I set everything up. Sent a few bumps and messages to him. Of course, he never replied.” Akiko looked up to Yuri with reddened eyes. “I thought maybe you could help me.”
Yuri’s eyes opened slightly, a nerve twinging in her body.
“You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need.”
It was a hollow welcome, but the idea of supporting more lost souls in Tokyo made her blood freeze. Akiko place a hand on Yuri’s knee, her reddened eyes looking up pleadingly to her.
“Thank you. I don’t think I could stay in that place.”
Yuri’s head began to swirl.
Her friend’s grief had come into her life, smashing her own paranoid ideas for a brief moment of sympathetic reasoning. Now, she had to face a harsh reality. With Akiko in this state, she could not abandon her, nor could she let her friend live on her own. But, if she was to be the target of a stalker, what was to say that they would not both be put in danger.
She could not tell Akiko about the letter surely?
Something like that at this time could ruin Akiko.
Yuri decided. She would destroy the note, and forget it. She would never load up her computer again. She would bury herself into Akiko, while Akiko used her as emotional support. To Yuri, Akiko would become her full-time commitment, her full-time job. The living embodiment of everything she had done online.
In instinct, Yuri grabbed Akiko’s hand, looking down on the girl with a maternal instinct, a feeling of change surging up in Yuri.
Yuri would be Akiko’s Auntie Suzi. The letter be damned. This was a chance to redeem whatever unknown harm she had caused. A karmic balance.
She thought back to Eiko Yoshinobu, the old woman leaning forward listening to Yuri’s younger self, simply nodding and humming with a knowingness. Had Yuri been a project for Eiko? A way to mould a young, isolated woman into a version of herself. A way to project herself into a feminine figure that she had not been able to have on her own. Could the woman have been so secretly controlling, so vindictive that she made Yuri a hopeless nihilist, and that now with the seeds sown, she was only destined to repeat and spread? She looked to Akiko, the sincerity between the pair rich.
Yuri then thought of the letter on her desk. The letter meant for her.
In a fit of paranoia, she thought, maybe, that the letter had been a premonition of Eiko’s coming to life.
Yuri may not have caused the fault that she was being blamed for yet.
Maybe she was about to cause it.